Chương 82: Walking in the Shade 2

It was downright annoying, how serene the garden was. Patches of colorful flowers were arranged in artful beds, planted so that the colors seemed at a distance to become gradient bands of restful colors. The beds were divided by little stone paths just wide enough for two people to walk abreast.

'Course with Gan Guangli it meant she had to be practically brushing shoulders with him to manage that. Yeah, just wasn't enough space. That was all. They walked the garden path in companionable silence. Heading for the grove of fragrant trees that surrounded the viewing pool at the center of the garden. She remembered Suyin had explained the trees there were planted exactly such that the fragrance of their blossoms produced a faint medicinal mist that encouraged recovery.

Hells, how much was she avoiding her own thoughts if she was letting them ramble off into that kind of nonsense.

"We made contact with a wild spirit court, you know," Gan Guangli said.

"Eh?" Su Ling glanced up at him, her ears twitching.

"My last assignment, surveying our lands. Strange industrious creatures. Like large sturdy rats with fish like tails."

"Sounds nasty," Su ling said.

"I thought them quite cute," Gan Guangli said gravely.

"Well we both know your taste is messed up," Su Ling said.

"I disagree," he replied without inflection. She let out a gruff snort of laughter. They turned, entering the inner part of the garden, under the eaves of the blossoming trees. It was like walking into a painting all pastel blues and pinks and whites.

"I got a letter," she said, breaking the short silence that fell after.

"Hm?"

"You were trying to get me to talk. I'm talking," Su Ling said tersely.

"I got a letter from that Diao lady."

"Lady Diao Hualing?" Gan Guangli asked.

"That's the one," Su Ling said. Her eyes followed the movement of the dappled shadows cast on the stone path.

"Said they'd picked up a kid. Asked if I wanted to put in a request to visit." Gan Guangli straightened up a little, turning to give her a concerned look.

"You did not refuse did you?"

"Not that impulsive anymore," Su Ling grumbled, hanging her head.

"Fuck, I got Ling Qi to press for me and now I'm getting cold feet." Gan Guangli furrowed his brow.

"What-""Figured me out already?" Su Ling snorted bitterly as his expression morphed into one of understanding.

"Given what you said earlier it's hardly difficult," Gan Guangli said, heaving a sigh.

"You are not unworthy, Su Ling."

"Aren't I?" Su Ling said.

"I talked some shit, but what right do I have? That kid don't know me. I don't know them. Hell I ain't even the one who got them out." Gan Guangli frowned deeply at her, crossing his arms.

"Don't you give me that look," Su ling Said, narrowing her own eyes. Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

"I will stop when you stop deserving it," Gan Guangli replied. She growled, wishing again that she could move her damned arms at all.

"And how am I wrong huh?"

"Firstly, without you, Miss Ling would have never overturned this stone at all. And as you said. You did request this." Su Ling grimaced. She knew that. It was fuckin obvious. What the hell was she doing here? Fishing for validation?

"How old is the child," Gan Guangli asked.

"They think around 4 or 5, can't tell exactly," Su Ling said.

"Found 'em in a basement." Gan Guangli grimaced. Su Ling started walking again. Gan Guangli followed her. The reflecting pool at the center of the garden was a clean, round thing, mathematically perfect, but natural in presentation, white sand and scattered water weeds through which fish with shining scales schooled and darted. Its surface was disturbed only by a few stray blossoms floating, sending tiny ripples through the water. And her reflection, of course. She didn't look like she should.

There shoulda been bags under her eyes and creases on her brow. Her hair shoulda been a tangled mess, full of leaves and twigs. But cultivation didn't work like that. Her face was narrow and predatory, fangs peaked out behind her lips. Her hair was bushy and curly still, but somehow still clean. She looked like some wild warrior woman out of one of Suyin's cheesy books.

"Hm, are you not such a heroine?" Gan Guangli said. Her ears fell flat against her head and heat rose on her cheeks. She'd said that out loud? Why had she said that out loud?" She steadfastly refused to turn around even as he came to stand behind her.

"No. I'm not."

"Such characters are too thin, I suppose," he mused.

"You read junky stories?"

"I indulge in a heroic tale now and then," Gan Guangli replied shamelessly.

"Where else would I learn proper presentation!"

"That explains so much," Su Ling groaned.

"What one lacks in reality, one seeks in fiction," Gan Guangli said. She glanced back at him. He looked somber.

"Ideals cannot be reached, only striven for." She snorted, understanding what he was trying to say.

"I should at least be able to live up to what's in my own head. Not trying to be some storybook hero."

"You are so stubborn," Gan Guangli sighed.

"I don't want to hear that from you," Su Ling snorted.

"Maybe," he said.

"But let me ask this then. If you do not strive for heroism, then what do you think you're doing?" She opened her mouth to respond. She just wanted revenge. She just didn't think you should make others suffer along your way. But… She'd already broken that, hadn't she. The moment she'd begged Ling Qi to bring this up with some high ups. She doubted it'd move that fast, doubted they'd really bother. But… she'd taken a real chance that someone would get to her mother before she did.

Helpless people getting hurt, getting killed or abused. It pissed her off. It made her fingers itch and her teeth grind. In the end, it'd been a little ghost, broken a hundred times by human hands, which had pissed her off enough to risk facing her mother, long before she was ready.

"A hero cannot be afraid to face a child," Gan Guangli said, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"For fuck's sake, just hug me properly you big goon," Su Ling hissed, squeezing her eyes shut. He chuckled awkwardly.

"I suppose I have my own cowardice to criticize." And that was that. His arms wrapped around her, his chin rested on her head. He was still holding her like spun glass though. Su Ling supposed that was good enough for now. She was still in medical.

"I ain't cut out for family shit," she said, leaning back against his chest.

"Family shit is very complicated," Gan Guangli agreed serenely. The crass expletive sounded so damn weird in his voice.

"I think an example may be good enough. I have no right to tell you to seek anything else."

"Push over," Su Ling snorted.

"Harridan," Gan Guangli jibed back.

"You're lucky I don't know what that means," Su Ling warned, cracking one eye open. They stayed there in silence for a time.

"I ain't gonna ask you come with. I know you can't. Just… be there soon when I get back, alright?"

"Naturally."