Chương 97: 1-96 A tiny crack

Stirring under the morning sun, Josef slowly peeled himself out of bed. His blanket was damp and clingy, with his skin covered in sweat. He couldn't remember what nightmare had put him in that state, but it had left him thoroughly unrested. Even standing up was an act of willpower, with all of his limbs feeling heavy as concrete. Worst of all, there was this tension in his heart, like a terror gripping him with icy fingers. Did he forget something important?

A sudden knock on the bedroom door interrupted his train of thoughts.

"Are you up yet, little Joey?" A woman's melodic voice came from the other side.

"You don't wanna be late for the first day of university!" Something about that nickname had always annoyed him, but his mother loved it so much he never had the heart to tell her off.

"I'm up, Mom!" Josef shouted back. He felt this was normal, holding a conversation without being in the same room. They had done that countless times, ever since he was old enough hormones had demanded some solitude and independence, as well as a key to his door. Unfortunately, getting his own place wasn't on the table anytime soon, not with that tuition looming over them. However, thinking about moving out suddenly made him feel a pang of sadness.

He sure would miss his parents once he left, so maybe staying home with them for a couple more years wasn't so bad.

"Breakfast is ready and waiting downstairs. Don't let it get cold!" He could hear her walk away right after, leaving him to his own devices. Going through his morning routine felt strangely relaxing, like scratching a deep itch he didn't even know was there. When was the last time he felt this happy just taking a hot shower? And he even felt like a king on his porcelain throne. Heading down the stairs towards their kitchen, Josef entered, only to frown immediately at the kitchen aisle.

It felt like something was missing, though he couldn't put his finger on it. Taking his seat at the table, he was happy to see a hot cocoa and a chocolate croissant, his favourites. Also his worst nemesis in losing some of that chub. Unfortunately, some battles were just destined to be lost. Downing his breakfast with gusto, he eventually couldn't stomach that strange feeling any longer and asked his mother.

"Say, Mom, aren't we missing someone today?" She was standing at the other side of the kitchen, cleaning the counter, her back turned toward him. Honestly, it was weird how he could only ever imagine her from this point of view. She was always busy with something, never sitting still. His mother chuckled wryly, scrubbing a particularly resilient spot on the counter.

"Your father had to head out early today. That silly man even forgot to take his lunch bag." Right, that stirred something. It was always work with that man, his father. What job was he even working that could demand him to come in early? Then it dawned on him. Didn't he take on extra work hours just so they'd be able to afford his tuition? His father was a good man, even if he could barely remember the last time they had eaten together at the same table. Suddenly, the food tasted like ash to him.

Was he getting sick? That wouldn't do, as he couldn't miss his first day, after all. Even though his brain just wasn't getting on track today, he would just have to tough it out. There wouldn't be anything too demanding happening already, right? Forcing down the remainder of his breakfast, he stood up, taking a long, hard gaze at the hallway to the front door.

"Guess I'll be heading out then," he sighed.

"Sure thing, sweetie. Don't speed on the way, and try to make some friends, will you?" Her voice startled him momentarily, coming from much closer than expected. Somehow, like a ghost, she had swooped in and taken away his plate and mug, and had already turned to walk towards the sink. Swallowing down a knot in his throat, the prospect of leaving suddenly felt like a terrible hurdle. Was he simply nervous about going to university? Crowds had never been his strong suit, and neither was meeting new people.

But for his mother's sake, he had always tried. He was just about to exit the front door when he realized what he was missing. Sprinting back to the kitchen, he wrapped his mother in a hug.

"I love you, Mom. Thank you for everything." It was something he should have told her a long time ago. Both of his parents, really. Josef didn't wait for an answer before he sprinted out of the front door even more quickly. He didn't know if he would break down crying should he hear her out. Entering his car, an old and beaten thing, used but running smoothly, he took off without another thought. His body went through the motions, driving and steering, as if it already knew where the road would take him.

Which shouldn't be possible, considering this was supposed to be his first day. Neither should he be able to drive without taking the keys, he knew. Also, didn't he use his phone for navigation today? Well, his memories had been spotty for a while now, so some gaps in the scenery could be forgiven. And that was all this was, wasn't it? Just reliving what had already happened once before. Still, it had been nice to hear her voice again. A detail that had escaped him until now.

It was almost enough to console him over not seeing her face. Or his father. If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it. Driving away, he couldn't even see his home in the rearview mirror. It was all a broken mess, but it was his. And he was interested in how this would continue. After all, this might have been his last day on Earth. Letting the experience pull him along, he was silently enduring the car ride.

There wasn't much for him to do during that time, because there were precious few things he could make out outside those glass windows. There was that supermarket they always went to, some friend's house he only remembered visiting for a sleepover at some point. At the horizon, the outlines of his old school loomed ominously. He recalled not liking that place, even though he had no issues following along in class.

Still, he knowledge he had gained there was some of the precious few things he could still access freely. Here and there were tiny landmarks, fragments so obtuse he couldn't even tell what they were about. A couple of meters of a lakeshore, accompanied by a stall selling fries. A burger joint appeared near his road, and half a cinema floated nearby, following along. Finally, all that fell behind as the car entered a forest. The road was smaller than in town, but in good condition.

He idly wondered what had possessed him to take such a path, only for his mind to conjure up a single word. Shortcut. He even felt extremely confident about that, as if it were the single most truthful thing he knew. Finally, something caught the corner of his eye, and the car came to a screeching halt. Then, pulling into reverse, he arrived at his final destination. The thing that had distracted him from where he was supposed to go. He remembered now. This was where he had first met her. Lapis.

Her massive, statue-like body stood right there, nestled in between the trees, just a few meters away from the road. She was almost hidden, though the underbrush could only do so much to obscure her massive form. Josef was mesmerized by the sight, as he had been the first time. Back then, he had felt in awe because the statue had seemed so lifelike. Knowing she was, in fact, alive only made the scene more magical. It was like stumbling across some hidden castle in the woods.

And just like the first time, he couldn't resist walking up to her, as if he had been bound by a spell. Who knew, maybe she had actually set things up that way, to ensure the handpicked saviour would come along, no questions asked. Standing there, his hand resting on the cold scales, he waited for something to happen. There had to be more, right?

"Come on, Lapis. Didn't you like, talk to me, or something?" Josef grumbled.

"Come on, do something. This can't be the end. Not after everything you've put me through!" Sinking to his knees, he broke contact with the dragoness. Finally, he just lay down flat on the ground, staring up at her. There was nothing else to look at, because the rest of the world had melted away into a blinding white. This was the end of the road, he guessed. Maybe he was already dead, his mind caught eternally on those final doubts resting in the back of his head.

His fist balled in anger, trying to rip out grass that wasn't there. It was just so unfair. He hadn't asked for any of this. He hadn't wanted to abandon his family, nor to head into some unknown world. The magic was nice, sure, but was it worth all the danger? Was it worth the pain he had gone through? Some memories flashed through his mind, carrying a clarity that none before Aurum did. Images of a certain silly, hotheaded lizard and his grumpy little brother.

He thought of a wolf-like woman, and the cheerful laughter of her daughter. The taste of a hearty meal grazed his tongue as he recalled eating his food with a matronly kobold and a welcoming proprietress. He still felt the bruises of falling down a trap-hole with that noble elf, and the sorrow of seeing her noble knight fall. There was the clinic, hidden under the shop of a cheeky herbalist, and the patients still waiting for him. Last, but certainly not least, there were his familiars.

The mysterious bunny, his oddball protector, who had disappeared just before he could get his answers. A diligent little rat, ever busy healing others, even if left to his own devices. His sassy serpent, a deadly danger noodle and hug dispenser. And the not so little acorn, traipsing around in the shape of a most faithful companion.

"Heh," he laughed once, hard.

"Look at me, Mom. Only took a magical trip to another world, but I finally made friends. A lot of them, even. I wish I could tell you about them." Would she approve of them, he wondered. What about the choices he made?

"You always were a kind soul. No way you would have abandoned a friend." And his father? Would probably clasp a hand over his shoulder and dispense some dad-wisdom.

"It's not over 'til it's over," Josef could practically hear his words. Standing up, catching himself just short of brushing away the nonexistent dirt, he once more faced the dragoness.

"I don't know if you can hear me, Lapis, but it's high time you woke up. At least you, I can still save, so that's exactly what I'm gonna do." Striding between her front legs, he reached up to put his hands on the dragoness's belly.

"If this works, and you can hear me, please save my friends. That's all I ask." Then Josef let go. Not with his body, but with his mind. He unleashed all those pent-up emotions he had kept pushing away. Anger. Joy. Despair. Hope. Fear. Curiosity. Sorrow. Happiness. Outrage. Sympathie. More and more emotions spilled from his heart until he could no longer tell one from the other. Their distinct feelings mixed, like colors all thrown into the same bucket.

Together, they merged, creating something new, but altogether old. Something that had been with him before, that was older than any of his emotions. More raw and primal than any of its components. What he created flowed through his veins, spreading throughout his body before emerging as the darkest black. It was his own chaos. Josef pushed it into Lapis, without concern for the strain he felt. It no longer mattered to him.

His body was already a wreck even before the light had swallowed him, so why would he stop now? He could feel the stone-like scales grow warmer under his touch. Balling his hands into fists, he began hammering his conviction into those cold scales. Each impact sent a shockwave of chaos into her still form. Again and again did his blows land, even as his vision grew blurry from exertion. The sound of his drumming fists grew louder and louder until it was like thunder in his ears.

It echoed throughout the realm, shaking its very foundations. The final laws of this memory-world fell apart around him. Up and down ceased to be, and left crossed its path with right, entangling each other into infinity. There was no light, and no darkness, only the sight of his only goal. Only him, the chaos, and a crack. It was as small as a hair, but it still managed to fill his entire vision.

"WAKE. UP. ALREADY!" Josef roared, underlining each of his punches. Repeating himself until his arms could move no more. Then, with finality, the crack in front of him widened and swallowed everything whole.