Chương 63: Cooking a Banquet

I glanced at my system. There were two recipes that I had learned but had yet to create… and what better time than the present?

"Mr. Sporington," I said.

"Master Rook," the redcap butler replied.

"Ysra said that you're supposed to help me, correct?"

"That is correct, Master Rook. The lady of the house has made it clear that I am to be at your beck and call, so long as you do not go against the lady of the house in any conceivable way." I grumbled.

"We'll get back to that later. But okay, fine. If she wants a meal, then I'll give her one. Something fresh. Something unique. Something I've yet to even try."

"Sounds fabulous, Master Rook. Now then, I will get out of your way—""—No, no, no—you're not going anywhere. Not yet. I need your help with some ingredients, since you seem to know your way around."

"If that is what you wish, sir."

"Darwin, you'll help me, and Mr. Sporington will gather ingredients."

"What do you need, Master Rook?" I highlighted certain parts of my system screen and sent them to Mr. Sporington. His eyes darted from item to item, and his frown grew more and more grave.

"Are you sure this is… edible?" he asked.

"There's only one way to find out." With no restrictions on core ingredients, what better time was there to create the recipes I hadn't tried yet and increase the levels of ones I already had? A win-win. I get stronger, Ysra gets her meal, and anything I didn't serve I could keep, so long as it didn't spoil too quickly. I got to work. Mr. Sporington brought out the ingredients for EarthGrub Pâté first.

I pulled up my system: System EarthGrub Pâté Rarity: Common Type: Monster Core Ingredient: Scarab Lord Grubs Ingredients: Peppergrass, Bluecap Mushroom, Glowheat Bread Preparation: First, de-vein the Scarab Lord Grubs, signified by a red vein running the length of the body. Remove any partially formed shell. Next, place a pan over medium heat and cook the grubs until their natural oils coat the pan and their skin becomes lightly browned.

Finely chop the bluecap mushrooms and add them to the pan, making sure they do not stick or burn. Add peppergrass and use a spoon to gently baste the grubs in their own oils and herbs. After fully cooked, remove from heat, place on a board and… Chop. Chop, chop, chop. Keep chopping until the once-whole Scarab Lord Grub is nothing more than a fine paste. Spread on top of a piece of glowheat bread and enjoy. I grimaced at the prospect. Cooking and eating monsters was one thing.

Mashing one into a fine paste was something else entirely. Still… my recipes had never let me down before. I de-veined the grubs as instructed. The flesh was pale and soft beneath my fingers, while the red vein running through each one came free with an unpleasant little tug. Darwin, to my disgust, ate the veins. He also ate a few pieces of shell. I heated a pan and added butter because… why not? Everything tasted better with butter.

The butter melted across the metal, foaming around the edges until it turned golden brown. I added the grub. It smelled exactly how one might expect; like burning bugs. Mr. Sporington even grimaced and held a hand over the two narrow slits on his face that I could only assume were his nose. Darwin, meanwhile, gazed into the pan with wonder and longing. I sliced the mushrooms. That had become ridiculously easy.

My hand moved almost faster than my eyes could follow, partly because of my knife-handling skill and partially because Moonedge was just that exquisite. Each slice fell clean and uniform across the cutting board. I added the mushrooms to the pan. They hissed the moment they struck the hot butter, and a brief lick of flame jumped into the air. Darwin's eyes lit up. He began hopping and spinning around like his old self.

I pulled apart a few sprigs of peppergrass and added them, then used a wooden spoon to continually spoon the hot oil and butter over the browning grub. The smell slowly changed. Still earthy. Still strange. But the peppergrass cut through the harsher scent, and the mushrooms added something almost savory to it. When it was done, I turned off the heating crystals and transferred everything to the wooden board in front of me. I held Moonedge beneath the kitchen lights. Its pale blade gleamed. Then I chopped. Once.

Twice. Three times. Ten. A hundred! I kept chopping and mincing, scraping the mixture back together, then chopping again until I could no longer tell what the bug had once been. All that remained was an off-green pile of mush.

"I ask again, Master Rook…" Mr. Sporington said.

"Are you sure?"

"Not as much as I was before," I admitted. If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it. Shrugging, I cleaned Moonedge in some water, then used it to cut a piece from a loaf of what I could only assume was glowheat bread. The inside actually glowed where the blade passed through it, casting a soft amber light across the cutting board. I ran Moonedge through the pâté and spread it over the bread. The familiar glimmer of magic appeared.

Where there had once been an earthy, dirty smell, there was now something aromatic. Spice. Freshly baked bread. Butter.

"My word, Master Rook. That looks…"

"Good," Darwin said.

"Looks tasty."

"None for you, Darwin," I said. He frowned.

"I can't have you going into another coma. No new recipes for you. Only food you've eaten before." Darwin looked as if he wanted to protest. Eventually, he nodded. I held the bread in front of me. First, the nose. It smelled delicious. Then I bit down. Next came the texture. The bread was crunchy on the outside but chewy within, while the pâté had the consistency of peanut butter. Then came the taste. A hint of spice from the peppergrass. A mild earthiness from the mushrooms.

The pâté itself was fatty and succulent. It was… actually pretty damn tasty. System The recipe EarthGrub Pâté has given you these one-time permanent bonuses. STR: 15 (+3) DEX: 13 VIT: 25 (+3) INT: 21 WIS: 21 CHA: 15 LCK: 18 (+2) New Passive Skill Unlocked: Stonegut Stonegut: Allows the Glutton to digest normally indigestible monster parts such as shells, bones, etc. Some recipes may require Stonegut.

New Effects Added: +5 STR +3 VIT +3 LCK Quicksand Resistance: +50% Duration: 2 Hours Degrades: 6 Hours Darwin asked in a melancholy tone, "Is good?"

"It's… okay," I lied. Truthfully, it was incredible.

"Just okay."

"You mustn't serve 'okay' to the lady of the house," the Redcap butler replied. I waved him off.

"It'll be fine. Now, here. I've another recipe to create." I sent the ingredients over to Mr. Sporington. His eyes ran the length of the message, and a smile crept across his face.

"Now this," he said, "looks interesting. I dare say it looks… good!"

"Right?" I replied.

"Do we have the ingredients?"

"Why, of course, Master Rook. We've everything you need." True to his word, Mr. Sporington soon returned with the ingredients laid neatly across the counter. System Slime Jelly Tart Rarity: Common Type: Monster Core Ingredient: Slime Jelly Ingredients: Flour, Butter, Sugar, Salt, Lemonroot Preparation: Mix Flour, Butter, Salt, and Sugar into a dough. Add water and knead until smooth. Form the dough into small molds of whatever shape you desire, then bake over low heat until golden and crisp.

Meanwhile, place the Slime Jelly into a saucepan and cook over low heat so as not to burn it. Stir consistently until it loses its rubber-like texture and becomes smooth. Add Sugar, then add Lemonroot, whose acidity will prevent the Slime Jelly from regenerating. Simmer until thickened. Afterward, spoon the jelly filling into the tarts. Allow to cool and serve… preferably with tea. So… just make a tart? A regular tart? I supposed I could do that, although I'd never done much baking before.

I added the flour, butter, sugar, salt, and water as described and began to knead. The dough quickly became thick and stubborn beneath my hands. My arms started getting tired.

"Darwin try?" my companion asked.

"Sure," I replied.

"Knock yourself out." He jumped directly into the bowl. Darwin began hopping up and down, using his claws and body weight to knead the dough far better than I could. Eventually, he hopped back out. I nodded appreciatively at the work he'd done… if only he hadn't eaten half the bowl's worth. I added more ingredients and made him do it again. Afterward, I formed the dough into small tart shells, set the heating crystals to low, and slid them inside the magical oven. Next came the jelly part of the jelly tart.

I opened the container of Slime Jelly. A horrendous scream erupted from inside. I slammed the lid back on. The kitchen went silent.

"Is something the matter, Master Rook?" Mr. Sporington asked.

"…Did you not hear that screaming?"

"Very loud," Darwin said.

"Very scary."

"Oh yes, I heard it. Quite dreadful." Mr. Sporington tilted his head.

"I'm afraid I don't understand your point in asking."

"Is it supposed to scream?"

"I suppose it's in pain."

"It's alive?"

"How, Master Rook, would a thing made of jelly die? Besides being eaten, of course." I considered that. I guess I didn't know. Once again, I opened the lid. The screaming immediately resumed. I dumped the contents into the saucepan. The screaming became louder at first, shrill enough to echo around the stone kitchen. Eventually… it died down. I stirred continuously. The Slime Jelly slowly lost any resemblance to the creature it had once been, becoming smooth and glossy beneath the spoon. I added the sugar.

Then the Lemonroot. For an added bonus, I found some strawberries as well. I sliced them into small pieces and mixed them into the jelly. A sweet, tart smell rose from the saucepan, almost completely masking the lingering scent of cooked slime. When I felt it was done, I pulled the tart shells from the oven. They were golden around the edges and smelled strongly of warm butter. I set them across the table and began spooning the jelly into the pockets on top. Afterward, I adorned each one with half a strawberry.

As before, familiar magic flashed around the completed tarts. I reached out. And caught Darwin's tongue mid-lash.

"I knew it," I said.

"I knew you'd try it."

"Darwin hungry," he protested.

"Darwin help. Darwin deserves tart!" I grumbled.

"Fine. I guess you do. Here—" I tossed him a single tart "—go take a coma in the corner. Try not to become anything too weird." I handed one to Mr. Sporington as well.

"For your help." He immediately rebuked me.

"No. I could never accept before the lady of the house has tasted it. That would be uncouth." I shrugged.

"Suit yourself." I brought the tart to my mouth… and took a bite.