Chương 34: Chapter 33 - The Makings of a Hero?

Ren didn't make it back to the Bumbling Magician until the sun had already set. He and Alice had spent the entire day practising, and now every last fibre in his body felt as though it were on fire, somehow simultaneously loose and tight at the same time. Though truthfully, practising wasn't quite the right word for it, seeing as Alice's pointers remained as unhelpful as ever, leaving Ren to figure out most of it entirely on his own.

Eventually he'd gotten the basic overhead strike down pat, but mastering Night's Opening Bar still felt like a distant dream. After Ren had completed a thousand strikes for the umpteenth time, Alice suddenly gasped and exclaimed that she'd forgotten the single most important thing to do before practising, which apparently was to stretch. He thought it rather pointless now, given he'd already more than warmed up after hours upon hours of swinging a sword, but Alice insisted all the same.

Little did he know she'd go on to subject him to all manner of flexibility training, attempting to bend his limbs into angles he hadn't even thought possible. By the time she was finally done with him, his once-clean white tunic was smeared through with dirt and sweat, clinging uncomfortably to his back.

"Ah..." Ren groaned, trying to stretch out his aching limbs in a way that didn't make them feel like they might drop clean off as Alice pushed open the door to the tavern. They hadn't managed to get any further information on the preacher today, but it hadn't been a wasted day in the slightest. Every last bit Ren learnt about swordsmanship only bettered his chances of not dying while carrying out these menial tasks.

The Bumbling Magician's lobby was rowdy and packed to the brim, every last table crowded with drinking and eating patrons while the tavernkeeper bustled about delivering food and drinks to them all. It wasn't quite as large as the Pig's Hole had been, but it certainly carried the very same lively atmosphere. The moment Ren stepped inside, the smell of roasted meat and freshly baked bread flooded his nose and set his mouth watering instantly.

Even if being an Awakened Blessed meant his body required less food to function than the average person's, he still hadn't eaten a single thing all day, and that, combined with a full day's worth of gruelling training, left him absolutely ravenous. But again, everything here was bound to be more expensive than his particular price limit of nothing at all, so Ren simply had to grit his teeth and tough it out, ignoring the sounds his stomach was making as he and Alice climbed the stairs and made their way to Mr.

Jester's room.

"Wow, little protégé," Mr. Jester said, looking Ren up and down when he entered.

"What happened to you?"

"A lover's spat perhaps…?"

"N-Nothing like that," Ren responded, unsticking his tunic from his body.

"Alice was training Ren in swordsmanship," Alice said simply.

"Reaaaally…?" Mr. Jester eyed him up and down, seemingly unconvinced.

"I was never brought to such a state when I was learning though…" Before Ren could even respond, Mr. Jester shrugged and continued, "I suppose I was just a genius then, huh." Ren's eye twitched. He was not in the mood for the brightly dressed man's antics right now. Not to mention his temper felt unusually short too, no doubt because he hadn't eaten a thing all day, and now all he wanted was to sleep.

"So you didn't kill the preacher today then?" Mr. Jester asked innocently.

"I can't kill anyone, let along an Ascended Blessed, if I can't fight properly," Ren said in a strained voice.

"Hmmm…" Mr. Jester stroked an imaginary beard thoughtfully.

"I suppose you're right, little protégé." He suddenly pointed his over sided quill at Ren, a huge grin spreading across his face.

"And that's why you'll now complete my special Hero Training Program™ every day from now on!" Ren stared blankly at the Mr. Jester.

"It consists of one hundred push-ups, one hundred squats, and one hundred sit-ups followed by a ten-kilometre run every day!" This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report. Ren didn't even sigh.

"…Yeah. I'm not doing any of that."

"Huh?! Why not?! We made a deal!" Mr. Jester cried. It was hard to tell whether he was actually on the verge of tears or if this was just another part of his eccentric behaviour.

"The deal was for me to help you assassinate four targets," Ren replied flatly.

"Not do your training."

"It was in the fine print…?" Mr. Jester tried.

"No." Mr. Jester turned his head and pouted, crossing his arms dramatically.

"Hmph. If you don't want to do my Hero Training Program™, that's fine, but then I'll never help you again!"

"Ughhhh…" Ren let out a long groan and after a moment of silence, he sighed in resignation.

"Fine. I'll do your Hero Training Program™."

"Excellent!" Mr. Jester clapped his hands together.

"I knew you'd see reason!"' It's not like you really gave me a choice...' Ren thought as he turned to leave and set about this unreasonable training, Alice moving to follow after him, only for Mr. Jester to suddenly speak up once more.

"Uh-uh~," he said, waging his gloved finger.

"Little doll, you've got a different job to do here~" Alice frowned slightly.

"Alice will stay by Ren's side as she pleases."

"What are you going to do to her?" Ren asked suspiciously, pausing at the door. Given her connection to the Cult of the Abyss, he felt more than a little wary about leaving her alone with the brightly dressed man, especially now that Alice was teaching him swordsmanship, and losing her would be a detriment to his chances of surviving the 'tasks'.

"Nothing!" Mr. Jester said happily, leaning back in his chair.

"I just need her help with preparing my little protégé a special surprise! No funny business at all, who do you take me for?" That did little to make Ren feel any better, but he wasn't in the mood to argue, and Mr. Jester hadn't actually been all that hostile toward Alice, save for the fact she'd tried to attack Ren earlier. Now that she'd mellowed out somewhat, he figured it should be fine.

"I still need her, so no funny business," Ren reiterated wearily, and when the brightly dressed man smiled and nodded in response, Ren turned to the doll-like girl.

"Just do as he says, Alice."

"Yeah," Mr. Jester added smugly, "do as I say, Alice." She glared at him but that only widened his smile. Ren patted her shoulder.

"Try to tolerate him while I'm gone." Alice hesitated for a moment.

"…Okay, but come back soon, yes?"

"Of course," he replied with a faint smile before leaving the room fully. Ren made his way back through the crowded common room as quickly as he possibly could, all to avoid the food's tantalising smells from invading his nose any further. Eventually, he stepped back out into the winter air outside, his stomach only grumbling twice during the trip. The dark clouds had blanketed the entire sky by now, the horizon bleeding a dull orange where the last of the sun struggled through.

It left the South-East Quarter looking far gloomier than it had earlier that day, even with the warm light spilling out from the surrounding buildings. Ren let out a breath, the warm air condensing in the cold before him, and set off on his run. Even though his body ached all over, Mr. Jester had claimed he could always tell when someone was lying. Ren had no idea just how accurate that really was, but he certainly wasn't planning on putting it to the test. Besides, all his hard work now wouldn't go to waste later.

And yet, even with his resolve to make the most out his situation and better himself firmly in place, Ren found himself growing more and more annoyed as he ran through the dark, uneventful streets of The Crossroads, all because he still had no real means of getting himself any food. The only two options he could think of to combat this was finding work at somewhere like the docks or hunting outside the city walls, both of which he did not want to do.

So by the time he finally made it back to the Bumbling Magician, his legs threatening to give out beneath him, his face had twisted itself into a perpetual scowl.

"Welcome back, little protégé!" Mr. Jester greeted cheerfully the moment he stepped into the room.

"Shut up," Ren breathed annoyedly.

"Oho~," the brightly dressed chuckled.

"You must be very hangry." He pointed his massive quill toward the other side of the canopy bed.

"Don't worry! Your surprise is having Alice cook something up for you, which she is doing right now!" Ren blinked in hopeful confusion before hurriedly staggering around the bed, where Alice sat with a strange little device that had a small pot resting atop it, stirring away at its contents.

"Ah! Ren is back!" the doll-like girl said happily when she noticed him.

"Alice is almost finished cooking." Despite the strange smell wafting up from the pot, Ren's mouth immediately began to water. He was hungry enough by now to eat just about whatever it turned out to be.

"Do the rest of your Hero Training Program™ before you eat though," he heard Mr. Jester call from around the canopy bed. Just the thought of eating something was enough to fill Ren with renewed strength, and so, with the very last scraps of his energy, he forced himself through the remaining exercises without a single word of complaint, powering through the required one hundred push-ups, one hundred sit-ups, and one hundred squats in what he felt had to be record time.

Once he finished, Ren collapsed onto the floor, right beside Alice just as she set a plate down in front of him. She scooped a large spoonful of what could only be described as viscous black sludge onto the plate and handed it to him. He stared at it cautiously.

"What… is this?"

"This is Alice's secret recipe," she replied proudly.

"She made it just for Ren so eat up!" Ren swallowed, slowly scooping up some of the strange substance and bringing the spoon a little closer.' What's the worst that could happen?' He shoved it into his mouth before he could think better of it, and immediately regretted the decision. The flavours somehow clashed violently against one another, sour meeting bitter meeting something he couldn't even begin to name, all while the so-called 'food' stubbornly refused to break down no matter how much he chewed.

A single tear rolled down his cheek.' It's disgusting…'