Chương 61: A Long Fall 3

Fizzy erupted from the foaming rapids like a geyser, her glowing frame sizzling and steaming as she pulled herself out of the water and onto the rocky lip. Her hand slipped on the wet stone, causing her face to smash into the ground. Thankfully she'd gotten most of herself ashore by that point and there was no danger of getting swept up in the rushing stream yet again. Rather than pick herself up, the Paladin remained there as motionless as a corpse. It wasn't entirely by choice.

Though golems did not get tired the same way meatbags did, they would enter a low-powered state if too many demands were made on their mechanical muscles. It was a self-preservation instinct meant to prevent their motor functions from breaking due to prolonged strain. Considering what Fizzy had been through today, it was fair to say she deserved a bit of a break.

"I have decided I fucking hate water," Minus angrily declared.

"Aw, don't be like that."

"No, I'm serious. When we get back, I'm boiling every river, ocean, and puddle I see!"

"But water makes us clean and sparkly!"

"When it's from a hose, maybe, but this-""Will you two shark up?" growled Fizzy.

"I don't need this debut right now! And if I see any moral crabs I'm going to lose my shirt!" The 'moon-krakens' turned out to actually be a strange species of jellyfish that posed absolutely no threat. Not to a mithril golem, at least. If anything they were actually rather helpful since the occasional flashes of electricity they let out helped guide the construct through those murky depths. At least until she stumbled upon a group of colossal crustaceans that, to put it plainly, had absolutely no chill.

The Parallels were able to beat down two of them despite getting constantly knocked around by the barn-sized creatures. They were in no real danger since those rocky pincers weren't strong enough to pierce or crush the mithril plating even though its superheated state left it more malleable than normal. However, they succeeded in grabbing and tossing the golem into a strange current that dragged her into some underwater tunnel despite her best efforts to resist.

Team Fizzy has since spent six hours getting flushed through Tascuna's subterranean waterways. Though, all of those mishaps paled in comparison to the construct's biggest issue.

"And where's this palace? What are we dodging in a hole?! I half digging up dirt, dark it!" Although Fizzy had regained consciousness about half an hour after the struggle with Katya's device, the damage to her core went far beyond penalties to her Status. Her scrambled vocabulary reflected her handicapped mental abilities. She had trouble forming coherent thoughts and her short-term memory was in horrid disarray.

She had no recollection of what happened after boarding Katya's helicopter with Orrin, and the events following her waking up in the murky depths were either immediately forgotten or a jumbled mess. In her mind, it had only been minutes since the conflict with the crabs, not hours, and she had even less of an idea about where she was or how she got there. Meanwhile Plus and Minus experienced none of these ill effects. This was quite unusual since the personalities never had a divergence in memory before.

Then again, they'd never suffered the construct equivalent of brain damage. The Parallels' uncompromised condition probably had something to do with their origins. They were warped reflections of Fizzy's psyche brought out by Hubert's divine magic, and not born out of an extreme mental disorder. The fact that their thoughts remained unaffected by the damage to the core would suggest their existence was not rooted in the golem's physical form.

Whatever the case, Plus and Minus were in full control of their faculties at the moment, which was quite fortunate. Without them the Paladin would have been doomed to wander Tascuna's undercurrents in a state of confused dementia for the rest of her days.

"And where's my gremlin lawn chair?!" That said, keeping the 'boss' in check was difficult when she kept getting ticked off about the same thing every half an hour or so. At the very least it was usually easy to understand what she wanted to say from context.

"Easy now, Fizzy," Plus tried to calm her.

"We lost the grenade launcher when we fell from the sky."

"We fell from the scrap?!"

"Yes. We've been over this several times, remember?"

"No? Ugh. Grape. Just… grape."

"Let's not worry about that and focus on what's important. We have solid ground under our feet! And look, through there!" She pointed at the damp cavern's ceiling. There was a tall opening going straight up, and a very promising sight on the other end.

"Is that… lint?"

"Yup! It's weak, but that's definitely light!"

"Fantastic. Now how do you expect to get us up there?" Minus questioned.

"We'll figure something out. Right, Fizzy?"

"Is that… lice?"

"…"

"You were saying?"

"Just, I don't know, start punching holes in the wall for footholds or something."

"Eh… That might work, actually."

"Great! I'll do legs this time." Plus's idea quickly turned out to be a partial success. Or a near-total failure, according to her negative self. On one hand, the stone was quite brittle, making it easy for Minus to punch into it and start climbing. On the other hand, the stone was quite brittle, making it difficult for the mithril construct to put her weight on it without it instantly crumbling.

After several failed attempts to sculpt a ladder into the bare wall, the Parallels managed to get the hang of it and were steadily ascending. Fizzy occasionally grumbled and repeated her unwillingness to dig, but did not interfere or question them. She subconsciously knew she wasn't well and allowed her 'sisters' to take charge, effectively resigning herself to become a passenger within her own body.

After about an hour of effort and a whole lot of dust, the golem reached the top of the hole and found the source of that warm glow. As expected, it wasn't daylight. Even Plus didn't dare to imagine that was the case considering they'd been steadily going down this whole time. She instead hoped it would be the light of civilization.

That wasn't exactly encouraging since the only way that would happen was if either Katya or the natives had a presence down here, and as far as all of them were aware, both sides were hostile. Still, it would mean there was a way back to the surface, which would be a start. As it turned out, Plus had been half-right. Or almost completely wrong, in her opposite's opinion. The dim orange-red glow did indeed hint at a civilization, but it was neither of the ones she expected to find.

What Fizzy had stumbled into was a gigantic hive of biters situated inside an enormous underground cavern that was more than spacious enough to house their town-sized colony. The space was illuminated by a series of glowing orange crystals that were shaped like frozen flames, their size varying from small stones to titanic towers. The bugs had used a wax-like substance to form barn-like domes throughout the cavity, and hundreds of them could be seen milling about.

Most of them were those horse-sized wolf-shaped four-legged drones. There were a fair number of the smaller flying variety too, though the ones actually in the air were around a dozen at most. A few unfamiliar species were on display too. Of particular note was a bloated worm thing whose entire existence was dedicated to regurgitating… something.

Most importantly, the mantis-beetle-ant soldiers were nowhere to be found, though it was safe to assume that they and thousands of other monstrous insects would emerge from their hidey-holes should they sense an intruder. Thankfully, there was little danger of Fizzy being discovered where she was. The side tunnel she had emerged from was well outside the colony's outskirts, and was one of many dotting the edge of the vaguely spherical cavern.

It was impossible to tell how many there were in total, and which ones led to the surface was anybody's guess. The golem certainly couldn't tell since she could scarcely see down here. The crystals' glow was bright enough for her to get a good look at the colony from her elevated vantage point, but that was about it.

"Okay… so what now?" Plus was the first to speak.

"… Oh, wait, you're actually asking me?" Minus realized.

"Of course. I mean, I have a few ideas but I'm not very confident in them."

"Well, you'll be glad to hear that I am quite confident about mine."

"Really?!" her excitement peaked.

"Like what?!"

"For instance, we could charge the colony and start swinging, then get ripped apart by the soldier bugs. Oh! Or we could go back down and jump back in the rapids and then never get out of them again."

"How… how are those good ideas?"

"I never said they were good. Just that I'm confident about them. Ending horribly, that is."

"Ah. I see. You're not wrong, I suppose. But hold on, why would we charge the colony?"

"We're trying to get back to the surface, right? That's our immediate plan?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, see that opening right there? Just behind that big, three-pronged cluster in the ceiling?"

"The one that's crawling with the flying bugs?"

"Yeah."

"What about it?"

"Probably a way out. I mean, why else would they be there specifically."

"Oh! Nicely spotted!"

"Doesn't do us much good, though. I mean, it's right above the heart of the colony. Even if there wasn't a literal army of killer bugs, we have no way of getting there." The opening in question was so high up on the ceiling that the golem's only hope of reaching it was to suddenly develop the ability to fly, which was unlikely to say the least.

"Huh. That's weird," Plus squinted.

"What?"

"Is it me or do the biters not like the crystals very much? Look, they're nowhere near the big ones, and neither are their domes."

"Huh. You're right. That IS weird."

"Walrus is?" Fizzy spoke up.

"If they don't like being near the crystals, why would they make their home right next to them?"

"That's how meatballs are. They build a hound near an active volcano, and then wonder why there's larva in the liver room."

"Heh," Minus chuckled.

"People are stupid, now that you mention it. It's a shame there isn't a volcano around. We could use one right about now."

"Hm." That brief exchange caused a spark of inspiration to flash through Fizzy's troubled mind. Something resembling an idea began to emerge, but was unlikely to finish taking form before it leaked out of the damaged core. The golem, sensing she was onto something, decided it was better to just throw it out there than to lose it forever in the depths of her addled mind.

"Plus! Listen!" she urgently called out.

"Yes? Something I can do?!"

"The crows! Chew them for heaven!"

"… What?"

"Crows. Crows!" Fizzy fervently pointed at the massive cluster hanging from the ceiling.

"The crystals? What about them?"

"Heaven. See if they harm heaven." She then repeatedly snapped her sizzling fingers, causing a small spray of sparks every time she did.

"Oh! See if they have heat?" Fizzy gave herself a thumbs-up. This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

"Okay, got it. But, why?"

"Not sure. Just a fledgling. If my grumble is crumbling, then… Wait, what are all those bags doing here? Is this a hide?! Quick, where's my gremlin lawn chair?!

"Aaaaand we lost her."

"No worries, sis. I got this!"

"Riiight. Have at it, then." Minus clearly had doubts about this endeavor, but she kept them to herself and let her co-pilot do her thing. Though the negative Parallel inherited many things from Fizzy, her aptitude for magic wasn't one of them. She struggled to cast even the most basic of the Paladin's Spells. Her counterpart, on the other hand, seemed to have a talent for the arcane. Of the two, Plus was far more likely to grasp what the original had come up with.

So, after another round of placating the demented Paladin, the 'twins' set out to find a sample they could work with. That didn't take long since the cavern was absolutely peppered with curved and spiky shards, most of them no bigger than her fist. They seemed to grow out of the sediment here and there, but the hand-sized ones were too small to give off anything but a pathetic glow. Plus spotted one relatively nearby that seemed especially bright.

It was about the same size as the golem, but was out in the open without anything for the mithril construct to hide behind. The Parallel worried whether going for it was worth the risk of getting spotted. She then remembered that these bugs had absolutely abysmal eyesight. They relied on scents, sounds, and tremors to find their way around, which meant they had a fairly limited range of perception.

Feeling emboldened, Plus emerged from the random boulder she was hiding behind and ran down the slight incline towards the specimen she spotted. Unfortunately, she wasn't paying heed to her footing and slipped on the layer of loose dirt and sand that covered the floor here. The golem thus tumbled down the crater-like terrain. She slammed butt-first into a loose boulder that thankfully stopped her descent, but the impact also dislodged the stone and sent it rolling down straight into the crystal.

It was at this moment that two things became clear. The first was that Fizzy's hunch, though now forgotten, had been correct. These were power crystals not unlike the strange obelisks the gnomes used to repel Katya's machines. However, rather than electromagnetic waves, these radiated a significant amount of heat. The golem couldn't feel it since she had no skin, but the air within this cavern was sweltering hot to the point where it might make a dragon sweat.

The bugs must have settled there precisely because of these high temperatures, or maybe they fed off the ambient magic somehow. Regardless of their reasons, it was undeniable that they were wary of getting too close to the enormous crystallized flames. The reason for their caution was the second thing that became apparent the instant that Fizzy-propelled rock collided with the energy-rich mineral. Namely, that it was extremely volatile.

FWOOOOOOM The orange crystal erupted in a fiery blaze that faded as quickly as it spread. The flash of heat was so intense that it instantly melted the sand and dirt around it into a glass-like substance. Minus wasn't taking any chances and commandeered Fizzy's legs to hoof it back to the tunnel entrance. She also triggered Heat Exchange, causing the metal construct to release a cloud of scalding steam as her sizzling body temperature rapidly returned to normal.

This served to reduce her visibility since she was no longer glowing. Most likely a wasted effort considering the bugs' terrible eyesight, but the relentless pessimist wasn't taking any chances. Thankfully, the creatures didn't seem all that bothered by the spontaneous conflagration. Not a single one came over to investigate even after twenty minutes of the golem hiding and watching. Perhaps such incidents were commonplace down here.

As for the power crystal, there wasn't anything left of it aside from a patch of vitrified ground.

"Well, that was a pointless waste of time," Minus grumbled.

"I wouldn't say that. At least now we know not to bump those things or they'll explode."

"Ah, yes. Of course. The knowledge that yet another thing is trying to kill us is very welcome indeed."

"I need my gremlin lawn chair."

"Oh, for fuck's sake! Fizzy, we don't have your stupid grenade launcher!"

"No, look." The original once more took control in order to point her eyes and finger in the direction of the massive cluster hanging from the ceiling, the same one next to the suspected way out.

"We shove that, and all the bags go broom." The trio smiled with maniacal glee as the addled golem's idea finally took shape. Though her modified crossbow was gone, the golem still had a load of explosive munitions tucked away in the fireproof pouches strapped to her hips and waist. If a strong enough bump was all that these power crystals needed to violently discharge their energy, then those fragmentation grenades would surely do the trick.

It was questionable whether they had enough of a kick to set off that central cluster, and even if they could the golem had no way of actually getting them up that high. At least, not at present. She could probably throw something together if she had the materials, and Fizzy had a good feeling about where to get some.

"There must be some of Katyusha's marmalade down here. Finger them!" Katya was a surprisingly wasteful person when it came to her obsolete hardware. Since she came to Tascuna, Fizzy had stumbled across so many lost, forgotten, or otherwise abandoned pieces of machinery that she had lost count. It was only natural that the Original Artificer's old technology would wind up in the weirdest places after nearly a century of circulation.

In the past she'd also waged a full scale war on the creatures she called 'biters' for a considerable length of time. It was easy to imagine that the bugs would have dragged a few of those automatons home, only to throw them out once they realized they could neither eat nor use them. All things considered, it would be weird for there to not be any salvageable wreckage in the vicinity of this hive.

Sure enough, it didn't take much scouring the colony's perimeter before the Parallels found the remains of a carriage-sized self-propelled digger. By the look of things it tunneled in from somewhere above, fell a hundred meters or so, then smashed into the ground drill-first. It was practically impossible to tell which of the many holes on the ceiling it came from, but that didn't matter. The important bit was that it was relatively well-preserved.

Sure, its steel plating was covered in rust and furiously mangled, but that was nothing that Fizzy's magic touch couldn't fix and its interior had plenty of salvageable parts. The golem thus got busy, though she now faced a wholly different set of challenges from the ones she encountered with the OCD. She had no tools, constantly forgot what she was doing as she was doing it, and had to occasionally abandon the site for fear of being spotted by roaming bugs.

Worse still, neither Plus nor Minus were of any help since they didn't have a drop of aptitude for an Artificer's craft. All this made each of the three secretly hope that the final Parallel, which would be born at Level 10 of the Skill, would inherit the original's talent for engineering. There was one potential saving grace in the shape of the golem's Level 45 Skill. [Geomagnetic Grip] The ability to mold and manipulate metals through magnetism.

Requirements: Level 45 Metal Golem, Magnetize, INT 200, WIS 100 Type: Sustained Activation Time: Instant Cost: 40 MP/sec Range: 5 Meters [Effects] Levitates and warps metallic objects within range in accordance to the user's will. The MP cost of this Skill is increased by up to 100% when used on non-magnetic or enchanted metals. This Skill cannot be used on objects that exceed 20% of the user's body weight. Reduces the MP cost of this Skill by 3 MP/sec for every 2 Levels of this Skill.

Increases the weight tolerance of this Skill by 1% of the user's body weight per Level of the Magnetize Skill. Fizzy hadn't gotten much opportunity to use this ability since she acquired it. While it could bend and twist metals at a whim, it was more destructive than constructive. The deformations were too crude and inaccurate to be of any use during her work on the OCD, which was the opposite of what she'd hoped for.

It would still prove useful whenever she inevitably ran into more of Katya's machines, as she could just crush them into immobile lumps in seconds. There was the weight limit to consider, of course, but that was an issue for future Fizzy. At present, the construct could only use it to bend the materials she had available into more agreeable shapes. However, she was able to do that manually with just brute strength, without spending MP in her Crippled state.

As such, Geomagnetic Grip remained mostly forgotten until Plus started playing with it whenever she had the chance. Curiously, the Parallel proved far better at handling the ability. She got into the habit of taking small metal shards that were deemed unusable and twisting them into cutesy shapes that vaguely resembled animals. Her innate talent at steel origami did little to make the ability any less useless in these circumstances.

Despite having little to rely on but her bare hands, failing wit, and a bunch of scrap in a cave, Fizzy once again proved she was a contender for the non-existent title of 'World's Best Artificer.' After countless hours of constant interruptions and setbacks, her disjointed efforts were ultimately met with success. The wrecked digger was transformed into a spring-operated ballista held together with little else than a wish and a prayer.

Fizzy estimated it would fall apart after just two or three shots at best, but she only needed one. The Artificer was currently strapping two handfuls of grenades to one end of a steel pole with the aid of some salvaged wire. She had to turn off Engine of Destruction for this part, as she did with large portions of the construction process. Having a fiery grip helped whenever she needed to forge the old metal with her bare hands, but was far less useful when handling delicate bits like wires and explosives.

With her MP generator offline, the golem also had to disable Parallel Plot and leave her alter egos in the back seat for the moment.

"By the well, why are we dodging this again?" However, though she knew what her immediate task was and how to do it, the purpose of it all had slipped her mind yet again.

"We're trying to get back to the surface," Plus repeated herself.

"The quickest way is through that tunnel up there, but we can't get to it with all the bugs in the way, so we need to smoke them out first."

"Yeah. We're gonna blow that big fire crystal and hopefully incinerate the lot of them. With them gone we should have a much easier time making it up there… provided we survive the blast."

"… How blue of a blast are we tailoring?"

"Don't listen to Minus. We'll be fiiiine. You already said it wouldn't reach us here."

"I did?"

"Yup!"

"What? No, she didn't! Her exact words were, and I quote, 'I hope to Beaver the heaven doesn't reach us, or thighs will get messy.' I'm going to hazard a guess that it's more of that idiotic wishful thinking you two like to do."

"Well, yeah, but that kind of stuff's beyond our control, really. That means it's a matter of luck, so there's no point in worrying about it. Just roll the dice and deal with it later! Right, Fizzy?"

"That sings about right, to be honorable."

"Ugh… Fine. But, just to be clear, we ARE running for cover as soon as we pull that trigger, right?"

"Obviously."

"Just because we have faith doesn't mean we're stupid."

"Good enough for me. How soon until it's ready, by the way?"

"Until what's rhubarb?" It was at that precise moment that Fizzy's mind slipped and instantly forgot her circumstances and surroundings yet again.

"You mean this?" Confused as she was, her inherent curiosity took over and prompted her to pull the lever that just so happened to be right next to her face. There was a loud clang as the kludged siege weapon's spring-powered firing mechanism was engaged. The improvised explosive bolt flew off with such speed and force that it instantly disappeared from sight. Fizzy was still in a state of utter bewilderment, so she just stood there and stared blankly for a few moments.

Her instincts, Plus, and Minus all started yelling at her to seek shelter, and she did so without question. She ducked inside a nearby tunnel mere seconds before the consequences of her actions caught up with her. At around that same time, on the surface of Tascuna somewhere vaguely above Fizzy, Orrin was having a bit of an argument with a certain green-skinned psychopath.

"So we just sit around and do nothing?!" the giant yelled.

"Yup. Dat's de plan." Tony was currently lounging on a bed of dried leaves, a bowl of fresh juice in one hand and a haunch of grilled bug meat in the other.

"Every minute we waste, Dragunova comes closer to completing her device and storming in here with a literal army of murder-machines!"

"Yeah? And every minute you bitch and moan about it brings me closer to dying of old age. What's your point?"

"My point is that we're supposed to help these people! Not just leech off them like a bunch of freeloaders!" The Priest gestured to the gnomes around them. He and the hob were currently enjoying the modest hospitality of a native village not far from the edge of the jungle. And yet, while everyone else was busy preparing for war, Tony did nothing but sit on his ass and stuff his face.

While Orrin was thankful that the greenskin and his new friends found him before Katya did, he had no idea this was how he spent the majority of his time. At least Fizzy channeled her selfishness in a productive manner, but this guy turned out to be a total slob when left to his own devices.

"Relax, mon. Trust me, dis all part of de plan," the greenskin claimed.

"Plan? What plan?" As far as Orrin was aware, the Skywatchers - that's what this tribe of moon-gnomes called themselves - had postponed all sabotage operations following Orrin's 'falling out' with the otherworlder.

"De big guy's plan. De one pullin' all de strings."

"Really? More God of Gambling talk? That's the best excuse you can come up with?"

"Is no excuse. I know how de guy works. He brewin' somethin' big, I can feel it in my bones. We just need to chill until he's done cookin' it up."

"You'll forgive me if I remain skeptical."

"You do you, mon." Tony went back to munching on his snack and sipping his drink, leaving Orrin to pinch his nose and sigh in frustration. He had half a mind to ask how, in the event that the greenskin wasn't just spouting nonsense, the two of them would know if and when Albert was 'done cooking.' The giant resisted the urge to do so as he felt that would be tempting fate. A wise decision, seeing as the ground started to rumble and shake.

The guests didn't seem all that bothered by the tremors, but the villagers quickly flew into a panic. They shouted at one another and waved their magic crystals about, seemingly trying to quell the quake with their magic. As a Shaman with significant affinity for the element of earth, Tony knew better than to try something that pointless. He gulped down the rest of his juice and did his best to finish off his snack while Orrin silently dreaded that something extremely bizarre was about to take place yet again.

His fears were proven right when the jungle was rocked by a thundering explosion as a column of flame and smoke erupted from the ground not too far from the village, still within the fringes of the jungle. A wave of scaling hot wind washed over the settlement, knocking down a few of the more rickety huts and showering it in loose dirt and branches. Moments later there was another thunderous roar as a lake's worth of boiling water gushed out of the farmland just beyond the line of primitive dwellings.

The foamy, bubbling liquid emerged with such force that it formed a column well over fifty meters in height. That being the more immediate spectacle naturally drew everyone's attention, and there was something to be said of the faint rainbow the spray painted in the air. However, any sense of wonderment quickly turned to caution when the torrent ejected something from the moon's crust and into the air.

It was difficult to tell what this thing was since the noon sun was behind it, but there was a solid shadow hurtling through the air. The primary cause for concern was that it was coming straight towards the village. The unidentified flying object crashed into the chief's hut - the biggest one around, naturally. The projectile made a massive hole in the thatch roof, which promptly caught fire. This sent the locals scattering for cover as they feared this was a bomb of some description.

It didn't help that there was a loud hiss from somewhere inside the burning hovel, followed by a rush of white smoke as the conflagration spread.

"Woohoo! Sunlight!" a voice cheered.

"Wait! Is my facet still attained?!" another sounded worried.

"Who cares about your face?! We're missing half the plating on our right side!" the third one complained.

"And where the fuck is this place?!"

"I… think it's someone's house?"

"Who the fuck has a house on the moon?!"

"Oh, cram." A brief bout of rummaging and bumping later, a soot-covered Fizzy emerged from the now collapsing hovel. To put it bluntly, the golem was in a sorry state after her express trip to the surface. Her fire-resistant gear had been stripped almost completely off, leaving her practically naked. The mithril plating covering her limbs and head had been warped, dented, or straight up missing after the absurd amount of heat it absorbed and the equal number of high-speed impacts it withstood.

It would probably still be melting if the construct hadn't remembered she had Heat Exchange after her crash landing. The most disturbing part, however, was that the left half of Fizzy's face was indeed missing, exposing the skull-like frame underneath the flexible layer of living metal. And yet despite all that, the Paladin held her trusty wrench high, ready to bash any meatbags stupid enough to challenge her.

There were no such fleshy individuals, as the villagers were still hiding from what they thought was an enemy assault. Thus, it was up to their two guests to greet the new arrival. The golem was naturally surprised to see them, though her green-glowing sights were firmly fixed on the relatively shorter one.

"Hey, boss," the hobgoblin waved, a cocky grin on his lips.

"You look like shit."

"Toby? You're alight?! Why didn't you serve anchovies?!"

"… Wat?" Though it would appear reunions would have to wait until after several long explanations.