Chương 16: R&R Ch. 16 — Rending the Soul

Nicholas had stopped paying attention to his instructor thirty-four minutes ago. That was because, thirty-five minutes ago, she had finished her explanation. It had a warning too, but he hadn't cared. Soon they all would start meeting the basic requirements to get to the next stage of power. Normally, you had to bring it all into balance. The insight, the belief, and the karma. But she had mentioned something fascinating. If you were particularly high in one category, you could brute force it early.

Nicholas checked his status window. Nicholas Level: One Belief: 1, 578 Karma: 4 Power: Domain: Words All other information restricted. As he had suspected, nothing told him he was insightful enough. But karma and belief were on the rise. That was something he could think about some other time. He was banking it all on his insight. If he could punch through now, it would make everything easier. And wouldn't it be a kick in the teeth to all the other scions that he did it first?

Despite him and Jasmine continually cleaning up house in every trial in their actual classes, Nicholas was still at best only middle of the pack. More than that, he knew that without Jasmine, he wouldn't be nearly so successful with the tests. He would probably still be average. He didn't want to be riding the coattails of his friend, especially because she was paying the price for it. Though he still wasn't sure just what exactly soul damage actually did. She just seemed to mope for a bit and then bounce back.

The point was her power had an additional cost, and he was riding the coattails of her success. It pained him to say it, but Jasmine almost certainly still would have been rank one in their class even if he wasn't there. It wouldn't be nearly so dominant and there would probably a few you could consider her equals but in reality all he had done was augment her capabilities. That wasn't good enough.

If he really planned on reaching the peak and rising to the level of the eleven Pinnacles, then he couldn't just play accompaniment to Jasmine. Equilibrium didn't win because they all poured their resources into one member of their team, but with everyone fighting in perfect consort. Nicholas was holding them back, and he was going to change that. With a thought, he banished the mental window and began sinking deep into meditation to find where his soul was.

His senses were poor, and it was impossible to see outside of himself still, but finding his own center, he could manage. It was like sinking into the visualization, but not quite. In the darkness of his own mind, he brushed against the screams of over a thousand people trying to tell him who he was and what he could do. The belief he had gained for good or for bad would continue to try and push him in whatever direction they felt fit. Next was the silver warmth that pulsed nearby, the story of lives touched.

The people he had knocked off course to the point it marked his soul. As he had learned, Karma wasn't gained by saving or killing lives, but that often guaranteed it. It increased by substantially impacting someone fundamentally. Nicholas wasn't sure who the four were, but he was grateful to them. It was certainly below the threshold, but all it needed to do was exist. The final facet of his power soul space thing was his own ability, his insight and the pool of power he wielded.

It was nearly full, and with his usual regeneration plus what he could condense from belief, he would be there soon, so he had to wait. It wouldn't do to have his power be less than full for this. While he waited the few minutes required to let his energy refuel, he tried to think about what his power meant. It was easy to say it meant he could bend reality to his will with his words, but the word they had used for transcending stages was insight. His ability was his chance. The opportunity.

With it, he could prove to the world what he was capable of and that he could do it. His mental space shook as he realized that rabbit hole was the wrong conclusion. It wasn't that he needed or wanted to prove anything to the world. He didn't care about that. If the whole world scorned him, he would still walk the path because he believed in himself. So who was Nicholas trying to prove it to? He walked his road to prove it to himself. It was as simple as that. And his power was the chance to prove it to himself.

Belief could get you far, but evidence let you believe even further as it continued to prove your belief. And Nicholas would push farther. Threads of silver and blue light connected to the three pools of power that floated in his mind as he pulled them in closer. Closer. Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more. He would make it. The power swirled together, taking on a purple hue until he could see the outline of a doorway form.

It was hazy, indistinct, but he could tell what it was. There would be a wealth of power on the other end of that veil; all he needed to do was firm it up. Nicholas brought all of his will to bear. The problem was that the door was formed from all aspects of his power. He didn't have enough karma, maybe not even enough belief; he wasn't sure. But he could do more. The ratio would be off but the teacher had said you could overpower it. Belief wasn't something that went away when used; it was constantly regenerating.

It was why you could use it to speed up your recovery of your power. The threads of energy that came from his belief pulsed with even more power as more power poured into the doorway, diluting its color but still bringing it closer to reality. Power was the same way. It wasn't finite; it regenerated. And you could pull deep using your own will and body to push past the limit. That knowledge came from his insight. He focused on what his power meant. Chance.

Instead of an amethyst-colored door, Nicholas's mind held a door of silver streaked with lines of purple, with a purplish-blue mist trailing along the edges. But that wasn't important. The color shouldn't matter if you could just overpower it. The door stood firm. So long as he had the will to do so, it would stay that way, though Nicholas wasn't sure how long he could hold it. It had taken all he had to form the door. It takes all you can bear and a little more to be a hero.

Nicholas held those words close to his heart. Even though that hero had died years ago, they still resonated with him. If what it took was all he had and a little bit more, Nicholas gave all he could. Now he just had to do the little bit more. As he moved to the door, he could feel his visualization resonating as it pulled out a card firmer than anything he had used to date. One he couldn't remember when he made.

But regardless, he recognized the word; it was carved into his soul, perfectly made to crystalize his dreams. A word that would rise beyond anything else. Nicholas touched the card and willed his visualization to place it on the game board. He needed help." Ascend" His soul space fractured as the word echoed through all of reality the same moment he began pushing the door open. Even as his world ripped apart around him, Nicholas forced the door open so he could keep walking forward. On the other side was emptiness.

He had forced the door open. He could do that much. But it wasn't enough to force the connection to the other side. Not yet. As pain overwhelmed him in the emptiness beyond the door, he saw a floating crystal. Hero. It was so close Nicholas could almost feel the connection. Like a mirror shattering, the remaining fragments of his soul space he had held together broke, casting him into the emptiness.

Jasmine stood over the hospital bed with worry as Nicholas lay there peacefully. She couldn't be certain, her senses still warped by not reaching the second level, but she could tell enough with her soul insight. He had done the equivalent of trying to rip his soul apart. The question was, why did he do that? When he hadn't been at their suite when her training was done, she hadn't been worried. Three hours later, and still no sign she had gotten worried.

Discovering him in the infirmary with clear soul damage set her to the point of wanting to call her grandma. The only reason she hadn't was she could recognize the difference between self-inflicted soul damage like her own, and when a soul was attacked. Most outside forces couldn't heal damage to the soul you did to yourself. That was something only you could fix. The ones that could were powerful healers, ones Jasmine didn't have the means to ask for help for.

Jasmine turned to face Astra, the only other person in the room.

"What happened?" she demanded. Astra raised an eyebrow. Jasmine had to resist the urge to stomp her feet in protest.

"I'm not asking as Jasmine, descendant of Brynhild. I am asking as Jasmine hero hopeful. Because he's my friend, and I'm worried!"

"He tried to break through to the next level the way scions do." Jasmine did some quick number crunching in her head. That couldn't be right. Nicholas had less belief than her and karma, and she wasn't close to safely trying to overpower the barrier.

"How he shouldn't have been able to form the door with his stats?" Jasmine wasn't going to call Astra a liar, but she definitely wasn't going to believe her.

"You can do it with insight too," Astra pointed out. Jasmine hadn't considered that. It wasn't the normal way. If you didn't have the overpowering belief or karma, you just waited. There was no point. The insight was fundamental. It wasn't like you could have more insight, could you?

"So he's like this because he failed?" Astra shook her head.

"He's like this because he almost succeeded. He opened the door. There just wasn't a connection on the other side." Jasmine gaped at her unconscious friend. There was a voice in the back of her head that asked if she could keep up with him. Moments like these, she wasn't sure.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"He'll survive. The soul damage is bad. Not enough that he's on mandatory rest but right above it. Though I'm still of half a mind to have you two skip this week." Astra said. Jasmine winced. That was the line she kept herself at basically unless she was saving for a bigger soul weapon. The problem was Jasmine could handle missing thirty percent of her soul. Her power, the clean cuts, and the modifications Grandma Darlene had done to her meant she was mostly in the clear.

A normal person missing thirty percent of their soul would be in agony. Maybe they should skip this week. It was the fourth regular show; they were going to be popular, regardless. And their missing a week would add to the mystery; it would probably help their numbers in the long run.

"I'm fine," Nicholas said from his bed as he forced himself into a sitting position.

"We'll still fight this week. I have to prove it, right?" Before anyone else could say anything, Jasmine practically threw herself onto Nicholas, hugging him tightly.

"I will leave you two to yourselves." Astra said, standing up.

"I'm glad you didn't die, Retort. But value your own life. And if your soul starts to crack, consider stopping." Before he could respond, their dean vanished into motes of light. Nicholas collapsed back into the bed, Jasmine on top of him.

"So this is what you deal with on a daily basis?"

"Yeah? How are you feeling?" Jasmine asked, not leaving the hug. She wouldn't till he hugged her back.

"Empty, and cold, not physically, but yeah." Jasmine nodded. That sounded about right.

"Even if we're still going to fight this week, you have to rest and skip classes for the rest of the week."

"So I can be alone by myself?"

"No, I'll be there too. Nobody is better at helping someone deal with the issues of soul damage than me." Jasmine said fiercely.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry for worrying you," Nicholas said, finally hugging Jasmine back. Hug complete, she pulled away and wiped her eyes.

"Just don't do something that stupid again." Nicholas was looking down at his hand, thinking.

"Nicholas?" Jasmine warned.

"I'm not going to try that again, but there was something that happened in there. Something important." Nicholas said, not looking her in the eyes.

"Is it a can't wait thing?"

"No, it definitely can. I'm not in the position to use it until I'm healed. And it would only screw up our preparations for the live show. So we can table it for now." Nicholas said as he pulled himself out of bed. Jasmine nodded. Together, the two of them returned to their home. Ten days until the live show. Eleven days until they met their prospective mentor. Seventeen days until they were released into the world to be true heroes.

They couldn't wait, but they could slow down to do maintenance on themselves and the team. They needed it clearly.