Chương 17: A Boar Coarse Meal

It had been several days since the Ranger incident. Or Freckle-Gate as he'd been referring to it in his head. The Fox, or as he'd been calling her in his head (and sometimes out loud), Teeth, on account of he thought her little teeth were adorable. Adorable in the way he knew that if she wanted to, she certainly would have the upper hand. So like a teddy bear, holding knives.

They were out on a hunt (Which was really just Andy making up formation names and Teeth rolling her eyes and smiling to herself) when the board charged. Andy had been in the middle of a very daring story about a single-celled organism taking on a crinoid, "So there he was, just a cell with a horn when he heroically thrust his horn deep into the unsuspecting crinoid's delicate–" Wham. They'd both been so enraptured with the story that neither of them heard the boar charging up on them.

It, as it would happen, was mating season and this was the boar's territory. Which meant–if you weren't a lady boar–you weren't welcome. Teeth went sideways before either could react and hit the tree next to them with a solid thump.

"TEETH." Andy screamed. The boar turned his fury on Andy, head down, two tusks pointed straight at him. Well, two could play this game. Andy charged. The boar realized he was now in a game of chicken veered left. Andy turned on a dime, weeks of speed trials coming very much in handy. He slammed into the boar's side, horn first of course. As the horn penetrated the thick boar hide it let out a terrible sound. Something between a scream and a squeal.

Andy quickly removed his head from the Boar's ass and keeping his horn pointed toward the screaming beast made his way toward Teeth. SHe was now standing but looking a little worse for wear. Andy had never healed anyone other than himself but he quickly dug into his life magic reservoir and began channeling it through his now viscera-coated horn. The glow flickered and the horn began humming. Louder and louder until the wound on Teeth's side began to close.

[ABILITY ENHANCED: LIFE MAGIC: HEALING (SELF) -> HEALING (SELF + OTHERS)] The horn's golden-green glow purified and cleansed itself along. The glow appeared over Teeth's wounds glowing and humming. Bones mended, bruises vanished, and the internal damage was also knitting itself back together. Teeth gasped as a warm and humid softness overtook her. Like freshly baked chocolate chip cookies but instead of just joy in one's mouth, this was everywhere that had been, in a fair amount, of pain.

The Boar had more than recovered and was pawing at the ground snorting. It was trying to decide who to attempt to gore next. The small ferocious fox was not the weak link in this battle now that she was no longer caught unawares and the boar knew it. But the horn on Andy was not to be trifled with either. And so, the boar did what boars do, it charged without much thought at all. Both Andy and Teeth jumped out of the way and Andy shouted, "Let's do operation Fox Around And Find Out." Are the names really necessary?

sent Teeth with an over-exasperated sigh which was barely concealing amusement. The spirit fox split into three identical copies, then six. The clearing was filled with foxes darting in and out in every direction. The boar skidded sideways. A fox appeared on his left. Another on his right. A third ran directly beneath his legs. The boar spun. He snorted and squealed in anger and pain from his hind flank wound. He charged, going right through one of the foxes. It disappeared and reappeared again on a nearby rock.

The boar charged, but every time he picked his target just as he was about to hit it, it would turn into silver mist and reappear somewhere else. The exhausted and dizzy boar charged once more. The fox target disappeared and the boar ran straight into a tree. Leaves exploded from the canopy and rained down on the foxes. Blinking each one they touched out of existence.

"Here piggy piggy piggy." Andy projected at the boar. He couldn't be sure, but he was fairly confident this boar couldn't understand him. The boar screamed and charged once more. The fox vanished. The boar's momentum kept it moving forward directly into the thing that was standing straight behind the fox. This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. Andy. The proto-ungulate lurched forward, every muscle in his body fired. The world narrowed to a single point. One horn. One target.

One extremely unfortunate boar. The impact sounded like someone tripping down the stairs. First there was the initial thud, loud and unexpected. After that were the sequential, smaller thuds of momentum slowly wearing off until with a final thud the momentum finally came to a halt. The boar had left the ground. Andy, being much shorter than the boar was able to uppercut him under the jaw with his horn. (big thump) For a brief moment the boar achieved flight. Then gravity remembered its only job.

The unfortunate beast crashed through a bush, a sapling and what Andy was reasonably sure had once been a perfectly innocent anthill (smaller thuds) before finally coming to a stop upside down. (big thump) Silence settled over the clearing, "I think it found out." Andy projected. His sides were heaving with effort, stamina bar depleted. He'd gotten the tusk to the right shoulder but was currently too exhausted to heal. That's when Teeth saw Andy go down. He woke up to water being carefully dumped over his face.

Teeth had used a leaf and had carried water over to Andy where, (based on the various puddles near but not on his head) she'd had a bit of trouble maneuvering it to pour out. [STAMINA REGENERATION: IN PROGRESS. 18%] Andy's stamina was going up slower than usual as it was simultaneously being used to passively heal his own wounds. Several notifications awaited him. [CRITICAL HIT!] [HORNY STRIKE: DAMAGE BONUS +5% PARTY BONUS +15%] [ORGANISM DEFEATED: BOAR] [XP GAINED: +52 NEW SPECIES BONUS +12] [XP: 832/3000] After dismissing the notifications he slowly sat up. A russet brown fox with golden amber eyes sat across from him.

"Oh hi," Andy sent along with his most innocent signature.

"You must be new, have you seen my friend Teeth around? You see, she looks kind of like you. But it can't be you, because you look worried, and Teeth, is never worried." Stop it. Teeth replied. That did not go as planned. He was supposed to hit the rock, not you.

"I know. But, I kind of missed that I guess. Although I don't remember it hurting quite so much before." Before. When you were a cell? Sarcasm and disbelief dripped from the words as they entered Andy's head.

"Yes, when I was a cell. Why won't you believe me?"

"Oh, I totally believe you." She said, tapping her paw on his head in a very condescending way.

"Do you know what a cell is?" Andy feigned innocence as he attempted to get more information from the Fox who was almost as tight lipped about herself as a mime. In response, all he got was an eyeroll. Teeth had taken the liberty of waiting on Andy before dining. Andy, although the System assured him that he had the digestive tract of an omnivore, was unable to stomach a mouthful.

He'd tried most of the things he and Teeth hunted, but usually ended up spitting it out into a leaf that he later hid when she wasn't looking.

"You know," said Andy trying to keep it casual, "I think I'll just have a salad." Teeth did her best to not be amused as he meandered a few body lengths away to forage for some clover, wild onions, various grasses, and if he were lucky a couple of berries. One time he'd even found a half rotted apple that someone had discarded. It was delicious, and the worm inside added a little much needed protein to his diet. Let's just head back when you're done, she sent, stifling a yawn.

[HERD BOND: ACQUAINTANCE → COMPANION (VULPINE ADEPT)]"And that was the moment that the proto-ungulate and the spirit fox became friends" Andy narrated to his captive audience of one. Why do you do that voice?

"What? Oh that's my narrator voice."

"I know it's your narrator voice, but why do you insist on the voice and the narration?"

"It adds extra value to my book."" Your… book…?"

"Yeah, you see someone will definitely want to write my story when I'm a myth, and so I'm going to do it first, so they get all the details right."

"There's something wrong with you."

"Yeah I know, but how else will I get you to keep turning the page?"" Ughhh. Good night." [PARTY MEMBERS: 2] [HERD BOND: COMPANION (VULPINE ADEPT)] [XP: 832/3000] [GALLOP EFFICIENCY: 79%]