Chương 17: Everyone Knows... Except You

.. Except You Nix woke late. By the time she'd left the confines of her bed and made her way to the kitchen, the dorm was mostly empty. The day after Naming was supposed to be busy. Those who'd gone with the cultists the day before were likely still with them, and the ones who'd only received a word would be travelling to their respective temples under the protection of a guide. For the majority that received no interest, they spent the day applying for induction at the small, local cult-houses without corruption…

or they sulked. When Nix walked into the communal lounge with an arm-full of fruit and bread she stole from the kitchen, she wasn't surprised at all to find a bunch of her ward-mates slumped in despair in their little groups. K'tan was nowhere to be seen — thankfully — but there ware other carers who were walking through the large hall, finding every nook and cranny the kids hid themselves away. They needled them to get out and work for the future, but also didn't push too hard.

Sympathy was plentiful; after all, most of the adults standing here had been in the same position at one point. It was truly a foreign sight. Beyond the safety of these walls, the world was not nearly so nice. Cultists were brutal. And not only to Nix; she'd seen plenty of instances where punishments would be dealt out for the smallest of mistakes. Trials would be given by upper creed cultists for their subordinates that seemed entirely intended to crush their spirits with how impossible they were.

Enough exposure to the cults would twist anyone's sensibilities, so it wasn't a surprise that the only ones who could remain kind and caring to children instead of truly preparing them for the world of cultists, were the ones that had avoided that world entirely. Even the common store owners and workers in the safe zone couldn't avoid aspects of the cults. Most in the safe zone weren't actually a part of a cult, but you could never avoid their influence.

Only here, in these thick metal boxes, could you pretend like the world wasn't so cruel. Nix walked through the lounge, looking for somewhere isolated to sit, and received a glare by one of the carers. She wasn't supposed to eat here. But today, the man wasn't willing to actually tell her off. Given the growing number of side glances now that her presence was known to the common-space, she would guess word had spread about her. Both to the carers, and the kids.

Both about her cursed names, and how she came back bloody. They likely all thought she was devastated, so when they found her striding through them completely nonplussed and almost… happy, she attracted some stares. She was intending to find a place for herself to eat the fresh food, but found her eyes landing on Dan, and immediately shifted plans. Considering he'd been approached by one of the Everseeing Eye's members, she'd thought he'd be over at their observatory right now.

He even had those goggle-like assists he was supposed to wear. Which now lay forgotten at his side. The boy held a comforting hand on the shoulder of the girl he sat besides. Ari. Nix remembered the Omen Artisan hopeful. Her eyes were red, and small canvas laid snapped in half in her lap. Dan was clearly trying to console her, and kept nudging her to take up the small notepad in his hands. Suddenly Nix stopped in her tracks.

She'd been so determined to go over there and ask her ward-mate more about K'tan, but she suddenly found herself lost for what to do. They were clearly not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. Should she come back later? It's not like her ward-mates had changed their attitude towards her just because Dan had spent a minute in her presence. Even now she could see some of the kids sneaking off. Shaking her head, she dismissed her concerns. It was his fault for giving her such incomplete information.

Who says to be careful around someone, and doesn't expect to have questions thrown back in their face. He owed her. Besides, turning around now would be too similar to what the old Nix would do. She wouldn't allow herself such timidity. Dan, noticing her come to a stop before them, blinked.

"Did you get struck by Madness?"

"No. Why?" Nix immediately responded, her eyes flicking to Little God where it floated besides Ari's head, seemingly interested in having a one-sided staring contest with the girl. That her curses caused insanity… nobody could know. It wasn't exactly the mind affliction of Madness which had been near eradicated a hundred years ago, but it was close enough not to matter to most. It was almost as bad as those who lost their bodies to possession.

"You are…" he trailed off, as if realising the eyes around the room bearing down on them.

"Happy," he finished, as if her being happy was cause enough to suspect Madness. You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. Well, he's not wrong. I'm happier than I've been in years. His words seem to reach his mind a second after he said it, and quickly blurts out, "gloomy. I mean you're not as gloomy." Little God finally slid out of Ari's face to reveal her wary glare Nix's way. Dan wilted under the intense attention so many teens and carers fail to hide.

"What do you want?" he asked, clearly trying to shoo her away.

"Last night, you said abou—" He was suddenly out of his seat and clamping his hand over Nix's mouth… or at least that's what he tried. She'd not exactly been comfortable being around this many people, and sprung back the moment he tried something. It only left the boy's arm to flail as nearly tripped over his own feet. Even the old me wasn't that clumsy. Trying to regain control of the situation, Dan spun back to Ari and announced, almost too loudly.

"Come on, lets go out for a bit. It will do you good." He grabbed her arm, and strode down the hall to the shutters. Nix stood there, unsure what to do. He had given her an odd glance as he made his way out, but she wasn't good enough at reading body language and expressions to understand. Deciding that she still wanted to know what was going on with K'tan, she followed after him. The few dozen gazes in the room shifted to murmurs the moment Nix passed them.

She knew she was stirring their thoughts and rumours with how she was acting, but she no longer cared. As long as she didn't do anything that would catch the attention of the cults, her ward-mates could think whatever they wanted. In fact, it was great that their current gazes were filled not with wariness, disgust or hostility, but stupor. Like Dan, they all expected her to be distraught. Just like them.

A giddy sense of freedom washed through her, and she flashed a smirk to her ward-mates who were really bad at hiding their stares before dashing down the hall. It was a small, minuscule vengeance against the kids that had once isolated her. Most wouldn't even realise it was an intentional act. They would feel conflicted knowing the 'gloomiest' amongst them, who had received the worst name, ran around uncaring, while they all sat here sulking. The shutters were already rising by the time Nix caught up.

He clenched his jaw and seemed to sigh in resignation, while Ari besides him kept a distrustful eye her way.

"So, uh… Nix. There wasn't anywhere you wanted to go?" Dan asked as he stepped out into the intense light of the Great Iris. Was he avoiding talking about K'tan? It was surprising that the two weren't actively trying to avoid her, but he still hadn't clarified on last night.

"No." She still needed to get a robe with thicker material, but that was something she could do later.

"Then… we'll just go walking then?" he cast his head between Nix and Ari, as if it were up to them to decide. Seeing no objections, he led them down the street. Nix had nothing better to do right now, so she decided to see where this went. Was Dan intending to avoid the question forever? As she walked, she remembered the food she held in her arm, and quickly dug in. Compared to the disgusting sludge she'd been forced to eat, it was godly. The fruit was firm, and melted in her mouth.

The bread was hard, yet fluffy on the inside. No longer did she have to feel that horrible, slimy texture of the corrupt goop on her tongue.

"You look like you've never eaten a day in your life." Nix glances up to find Ari glancing over her shoulder. The questioning stare was much better than a semi-fearful grimace, but it was clear she wasn't comfortable around her. After years of avoidance, that was probably the best she could hope for. Which reiterated how strange it was that Dan had approached her. Did Nix's actions truly shift his actions this much? Or was it something more?

For the first time since she'd returned to the past, she considered if she was the only one. Could Dan have returned too? Is that why he approached her? If that was the case, there could be others. Some cults might already know she was their perfect sacrifice and were just waiting to take her in. No, Nix shook her head. She'd said she wouldn't try to think about the cause of her return, but it was more than likely the Eidolon Gods. Only they had such impossible power as to morph time to their liking.

They had heard her plea, and for some reason, had decided to give her the chance. Whether it was for curiosity, amusement, or some universal irony, she didn't know. Nobody could guess the wills of those so many realms above.

"Here should be fine," Dan said, before spinning on Nix.

"Why were you trying to bring K'tan up in the middle of the ward!?" Nix glanced around and found that they'd wandered into a quiet park. Each crystalline tree was frozen in place without so much as a fake leaf moving, and the grass was just the slightest shade too green to be natural. Well, they weren't real. And Nix could only pick out the discrepancy because she'd been down in the Biovault.

"You can't speak about that man there. I shouldn't have done it last night. You don't know which of the carers are in on it," Dan continued.

"In on what?" I know the kids are wary about the man now, and blatantly pretend like they're not, but why?

"The sacrifices," Ari answered. Nix barely held herself from flinching.

"Everyone knows," Dan said.

"Well, except you apparently. Between Yuu, Tally, Kai, and even the idiot Sal, the signs were pretty obvious that K'tan was behind their disappearances. Especially with how reluctant he was to search for them." Nix didn't remember the names, but she certainly had noticed the declining number of neighbours over the years.

"Why didn't you t—" She was cut off by Ari.

"Tell who exactly? The cults don't care as long as the number of disappearances don't reduce their yearly acolyte intake below the death count." Dan stepped in to continue.

"And we can't trust that the other overseers aren't in on it too. Sal disappeared after he'd done exactly that." It was difficult to process, but Nix couldn't deny how likely it sounded. He'd once sold her to the Fleshsmiths as a sacrifice; what was to say he hadn't done the same for others? A clamour of voices garnered Nix and her two ward-mates' attention towards one side of the park. There, was that annoying group that usually spent their time following Grif around.

"What are you two doing next to the cursed girl? Not trying to spread her curses through the ward, are ya?" Ugh. Do I really need to deal with these pricks? Now?