Chương 12: Chapter 11

On the Road from Lecten Abbey to Erem Mallorn the elf"There is marching ahead, and songs of war in a tongue I don't speak," Mallorn declared, pausing suddenly. His ears twitched as they caught the sound of many hundreds of feet on stone and dirt carried over the wind, interspersed with the lyrics of a guttural song. The others paused as suddenly as he declared it, stopping to glance at each other nervously, then back at him.

Lucia tilted her head and strained her ears to listen with a scowl of concentration, while Rayne asked more directly.

"Well, what are the words?" He leaned forwards slightly, raising a hand to brush down the side of his horse as he did.

"And more importantly, are they coming this way or going somewhere else?" Mallorn listened carefully for a few moments more, before replying.

"Ah goch durbun throok. Aghool us throok u bahg. Usm krimp-nuzg achuk esh. Usm snagee achuk boob~" The words were foul on his tongue, but catchy in beat and rhythm. It was the verbal equivalent of junk food, from the taste and the way the sentence made his mouth feel after saying it.

"That sounds like goblin words," Dura muttered, nervously. She fidgeted in her boots, looking up along the hill before them from which the sounds of marching distantly carried.

"They are goblin words. An old marching song from the sounds of it," Rayne confirmed with a nod.

"The king commands us march, and so we march to war. Our purses are all empty, our women are all whores." Dura sent a suspicious look towards the man at that, who waved a hand and explained with a sheepish expression.

"It's a good drinking song, once you get into the rhythm of it." He turned back to face Mallorn, and asked again.

"More importantly, are they coming towards or away from us?"

"Neither, by the sounds of it," Lucia declared after a few moments of straining. She brought up her finger and traced a line across the road in front of her.

"There's a crossing of roads up ahead, and they're traveling along it towards the northwest."

"The northwest! That's where Erem is!" Dura cried out, reaching up to grab her horns nervously and yanking her head around.

"Hundreds of goblins on warmarch? That's bad news no matter what the reason is!"

"Thrahk oo krill aghn. Thrahk oo krall aghn. Thrahk aghn, aghn. Uk gimbbubhosh~" Mallorn finished the sound, ears twitching irritably.

"Off to kill again. Off to die again. Off again, again, Off to find a grave," Rayne translated with a considering nod.

"Have you any idea how large they are, how numerous?"

"I'll che-""Absolutely not!" Lucia declared, reaching forwards to grab Mallorn by the shoulders, using him as a pivot-point to rotate herself around, and staring him in the eyes. She raised up a finger to point at herself, made less effective by how much shorter she was compared to him.

"I will go check, you will stay right here where it's nice and safe and not in sight for their hand-gonnes." She finished her declaration by reaching up to tap at his chest with a scowl. He could have had many reactions to this kind of babying. He could get mad, he could brush her off. He could pitch a fit and stomp off on his own. He could roll his eyes and scoff. He could do any number of things like that, and they wouldn't accomplish anything.

Instead he leaned forwards and stole a quick kiss, making her recoil, rapidly waving her hands, and flushing in a most amusing fashion.

"D-d-don't do that! Tha-that's not good!" She fumbled over her words as she took stumbling steps away from him.

"Stay safe while you're checking them out, okay?" Mallorn ignored her protests and smiled, ears up and alert.

"You can handle yourself, I know, but I'd be pretty upset if you got hurt." This was mostly a lie, because he had only known her for a few days. He simply didn't really have the time investment required to care about her beyond their initial moment of intimacy. He'd probably be upset in a vague sense if she died, but he couldn't honestly say that he would mourn over it long enough to count as 'caring'. It would simply be dishonest of him to think otherwise.

However, a gesture and lines like this were quite effective at discouraging her from treating him like he was a child when he was very much an adult.

"Y-you- I- Gah!" She turned quickly and practically sprinted away, running up the path to the crest of the hill, quickly dropping into a crouch, and disappearing over the other side. The other three watched her go in silence.

"One gesture and two sentences, you reduce a dark elf to a blushing maiden." Rayne shook his head.

"That's honestly rather intimidating, elf, I'm impressed."

"You better not be playing with her heart, Mallorn!" Dura reached up to slap his hip, giving a scolding glare and scowl up at him.

"A lady's love is a delicate thing!"

"Oh, I am." Mallorn nodded, smiling as the dwarf let out an annoyed whine to pair with her glare.

"But it's the quickest manner to get a worryweed like her to stop fussing over nothing."

"Hrn," she grunted, turning a gaze forwards.

"If you're going to kiss her, you better be willing to kiss her again when she asks, you hear?"

"It depends on how clean her mouth is," Mallorn hummed in reply, making Rayne snicker-cough and Dura letting out a grunt of acceptance. He nodded, before taking out his bow, unwrapping the bowstring from around his neck, and quickly combining the two.

"Of course, now that I've said that to her, the fates will conspire to have her hurt, so we best follow quickly to save her."

"W-what? Wait, what do you mean?" Dura asked, quickly hoisting her bags and moving to follow. Her little short-toed boots made clopping noises as she dashed along at top speed. Which was about equivalent to his brisk walk, thanks to the difference in stride length.

"The fates?"

"An Imperial Goddess. I did not know that the elves heeded her as well." Rayne, being about as tall as he was, was also able to keep up with a mere brisk walk. The horse followed easily along besides him."'Heed' is a strong word," Mallorn replied, having just learned that The Fates were apparently gods here. Each great bound of his legs brought him further up along the hill until he neared the top.

"We heed only Amarami, the High Goddess, and for the most part consider ourselves equal to or above all other gods, spirits, and peoples, typically in a most arrogant fashion."

"That sounds right for elves," Dura grumbled as she struggled to keep up.

"Having said that, just because you don't heed other gods doesn't mean they politely avoid you," Mallorn explained in a low voice as the top of his head poked over the crest of the hill and down towards the next valley before them.

"With lines like that, I practically invited the Fates to bring troubles down on my head. Some manner of horrible fate to befall Lucia, simply for the sake of laughing at my despair." He had seen this kind of scenario play out once during his time in the Greenwood.

A male publicly professing great love, care, and loyalty for his romantic partner, then the romantic partner and another handful of elves being banished for becoming dark elves some weeks later after a rousing round of 'let's cheat on my spouse with a gangbang'. Naturally, the trick to avoid something like that was to simply not care all that much. Relationship drama couldn't reach you through an unbreakable wall of 'I didn't ask'.

Sure enough, there was something of a small army of goblins set up along the road, currently brought to a halt and a few making roaming maneuvers, clearly searching for someone or something. There, in the bushes and currently far too extended to be safe, Lucia was hiding with no real path of retreat if the goblins found her and decided to be hostile.

There were perhaps three hundred of them in total, clad in rough leathers and scraps of sloppily-painted armor, carrying crude guns and satchels and reeking of sulfur and sweat. Entirely too many to fight off, even if all of them combined their efforts. There were simply too many bodies with weapons there, if they proved hostile.

"Goblins are mercenaries, right?" Mallorn quickly asked, coming to an estimation about her positioning and the situation at hand.

"The men, for the most part," Rayne quickly answered back. Dura was staring in a horrified manner down at the marching orders and their steady approach. Mercenaries. This many in one place and on the march meant they were traveling for a job. They wouldn't want to be slowed down unnecessarily, but a lone captive woman might convince them to have fun with her while setting up camp. A male, on the other hand, was a far less desirable target for capture.

Mallorn pushed a great deal of mana into his war-mask as he rose.

"Stay here," he commanded quietly, making a merry walk over the ridgeline and starting down the hill, in clear view of the many goblins along the road. The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. At once they noticed him, with guttural words and barked announcements. Mallorn pretended to just notice them, tilting his head and then raising up a hand in a wave. The goblins shuffled about, staring up at him along the hilly road.

He then dropped his wave, and started down along the road towards the goblins in a non hostile manner, as if he was walking up to say hello to the neighbors. Lucia, in the bush, visibly restrained an aneurysm at his bold and daring strategy to buy her time to get away unseen.

'Be grateful, woman, my valor is saving you from a probable Bad End, here.' Half-using his bow as a walking stick, Mallorn walked up to within shouting distance of the goblins.

"HAIL!" he cried out, raising a hand to his mouth. He lowered the hand, and stared at the band of goblins, they stared back at him, grouping up quickly and not quite aiming their guns at him. Eventually, the goblin with a pointy hat called back in rough Mannish.

"WHADDYA WANT, ELF?!"

"TALK, IF YOU WOULD!" Mallorn cried back. The goblin with the pointy hat clearly considered this, growling and looking around at the other goblins. They were smart enough to be mercenaries, which meant they were probably smart enough to have risk-assessment abilities. A lone elf, confidently walking up to them like this, a band of three hundred odd goblins? That implied a great many things.

The goblin with a point hat and two of his buddies stepped forwards from the mass of other goblins, and visibly put their guns away. This didn't mean much, because the other few hundred goblins behind them didn't, but it was a clear demonstration of 'we are not currently aggressive'. It was probably the best he was going to get. He visibly unstrung his longbow before them, looping the cord around his bracer and returning the bow to 'relaxed' state.

That done, he made his way down along the path and ignored the frantic whispering and ear-moving from Lucia hidden in her bush. The goblins could not hear her, but he could, and he elected to disregard her. She had made the very foolish decision of getting that close in the first place, and now he needed to enter a rather intimidating situation. Fortunately, he was wearing a warmask and was currently pumping as much mana as he could into it.

The function of a warmask was to conceal one's emotions and intimidate others. Adding mana should make it better at doing those two things.

"Hail, Master Goblin," Mallorn called out once he was within range of a normal conversation, resting the tip of his bow on the road and raising a hand in brief greeting.

"Master Goblin, eh?" the leader, having the pointiest hat, replied with a grumble and a glare. His face was almost skull-like, sunken eyes and cheeks, with cracked dry lips and well-weathered features. Were it not for the hook-like nose and the tattered ears, the face would be more concave than extruding.

"Politesome, we sees. You've got a talklike, elf, out withit." Mallorn nodded, and making sure his voice was calm, he made a bluff.

"I'm in search of a criminal, a dark elf. I'm in pursuit of him along this path when I happened upon you and your band. Did you happen to see him?" The goblin leader considered that for a moment, growling softly and looking about before slowly nodding.

"Scoutsa heard a bit of rustlinglikes 'round theseparts, but nothingmores. Maybelikes this delf berounds, maybelikes not. Can'tells moresome than such." Mallorn found himself distinctly charmed by the shitty grammar. He nodded slowly at that, casting a gaze around.

"Thank you, Master Goblin. I'll investigate the area more thoroughly before moving along. Before I do, I'd like to ask where you and your band are traveling, if that's agreeable." The goblin leader considered that for a moment, then glared suspiciously up at him.

"Maybelikes we tells you. Maybelikes we tell you to minds your own businessome. Maybelikes we make a new necklace from the nosysome elf?" A clear threat. Despite himself, Mallorn was quite nervous at that. However, showing fear would only ensure he died and got robbed. The only way to respond with the shadow of violence was to cast a larger shadow.

"Mayhaps you tell me. Mayhaps you don't tell me, but if you seek my ears as trophies-" Mallorn slowly reached up and gently laid his palm on the hilt of his sword, sheathed at his belt. Staring down at the goblin through a warmask brimming with mana, he finished his own threat.

"-I carry a sword for a reason, Master Goblin."

"I sees only onecounts of you. Seemsome we've a lot more fightinglikes than yous," the goblin leader pointed out, tilting his head and meeting his glare.

"I know what I said," Mallorn replied, tapping his hilt and forcing the glare to stay in his eyes. A long, tense moment followed. The goblin leader nodded slowly, dropping the glare and returning its ugly face to a more neutral expression.

"We's up to Erem, a greatsome bag back home of shinylikes to buy up all of us for a fight, but knowsome little about what for yet." He shook his head and spat to the side.

"No target and no boss makes for shitsome marching. No idea what we'll be shootinglikes when we gets there." Mallorn nodded, considering that in turn.

"But you march regardless?" he asked, to clarify. The lead goblin nodded with a scowl and grumble.

"Itswhat we do." Mallorn nodded back.

"I see. Thank you for telling me, Master Goblin. I won't hold you up with any more talkinglike then." The lead goblin gave a rough chuckle, before turning around and stepping back towards the protection of his fellow goblins, away from Mallorn. Soon they returned to a wary marching formation, and began to sing the song once more up and along the road. Mallorn stood still and allowed them to pass unmolested, eventually giving a tiny wave to the hiding dark elf to indicate that it was safe to come out.

The goblins disappeared over another distant hill as the dark elf exploded out of the bush and practically tackled him, panicked mumblings and frantic searches of his person for injury before doing her best to forcibly drag him backwards along the trail and away from where the goblins had been marching. His heart was beating very fast, both because that was quite scary and because it felt incredibly cool to do. A little, silly, utterly thrilled smile came over his face as Dura and Rayne came down to join them.

—"I- I can't believe you! I told you to stay back! You could've died!" Lucia growled, rapidly checking their vicinity and then turning back to glare at him as they made camp for the night.

"I know, t'was pantast!" Mallorn laughed, throwing himself back to lay on the soft grass of the roadside and look up to the twin moons, body still full of little shakes and giggles. Pan-tast, Full-Reverence, was the closest word to 'awesome' that the Elven tongue could really support.

"No! T'was not pantast!" Lucia growled wrathfully.

"T'was stupid! What were you thinking?!"

"It was pretty pantast …" Rayne muttered in consideration, raising a hand to his chin.

"I was thinking you were massively overextended with no cover to run to, the goblins were looking for you, and they might do many unfortunate things to a lady like you," Mallorn explained calmly, sighing with great satisfaction.

"It was only a matter of time before they found you, they had the numbers for it, so I had to do something to get their attention off you."

"And onto yourself!?" Lucia was not confident in her ability to argue against her own tactical blunder it seems, and so ignored it completely.

"They could've killed you! If they decided to attack, they'd overwhelm you with ease!"

"You see," Mallorn began with an incredibly smug drawl, "I know that, and you know that, but the goblins couldn't." He raised a finger and began to wave it around in circles above his head.

"A lone elf approaches your warband, says they're hunting down a criminal. That implies a maethar, a holy warrior. Said maethar acts confident in their ability to slay three hundred goblins?" He snapped his fingers.

"That's not impossible. That's not a risk many can afford to make, especially as they're clearly marching off to some other task at the moment. The goblin leader sees this, decides that the reward of fighting me isn't worth the risk, and moves on without trouble."

"And if he had decided to attack?!" Lucia snarled, leaping over to poke him in the side viciously. He pulled back like an angry snake, guarding his delicates from her vicious prods.

"What then, you fof!?" She was really quite angry then, to resort to calling him a fool. Mallorn considered that for a moment, visibly thinking the matter through. Eventually, he reached a conclusion and nodded firmly.

"I'd be dead." He spent the next few moments laughing and fending off sharp prods.

"... They were going up to Erem, you said," Dura spoke out with a greatly worried tone. Mallorn and Lucia paused in their comedy routine to look over to her.

"Three hundred goblins like that marching to the mountain… I'm really worried…" She had a deeply troubled expression on her face, staring into the pitiful fire slowly building up to something they could cook upon. Mallorn frowned, stood up, and walked over to sit next to the little dwarf. Then, he picked her up by the armpits and ignored her yelp and wiggling, setting her down on one of his legs and trapping her with his arms.

"He-hey! Let go!"

"You don't need to worry, you know." Mallorn declared, setting his chin on her head.

"You know why?" Eventually, she grumbled an acceptance of her current position, crossing her arms and replying.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I'm going to be there." Just like before, a mask of confidence was key.

"T-that's stupid! What are you going to do about that many goblins!?"

"That's simple, isn't it?" he replied with a grin.

"I'll win." A brief moment of silence passed, Lucia staring at them with a complicated expression, Rayne focused down on the fire.

"... That's stupid," Dura mumbled, leaning back against his chest. Mallorn harshly rubbed his chin into the top of her head, making her yelp and try to retreat away from his merciless attack from above. His arms kept her in place, forced to suffer his deadly assault.

"Beg mercy, dwarf!"

"N-never!"

"Beg!"

"NEVER!"