Chương 76: Chapter 75 - Self Loathing

Lucid sat in the first-class carriage, his body turned toward the window. Outside, the endless purple void drifted by, a silent, starless expanse. He felt hollowed out. On the crystal screen embedded in the window, text scrolled in a formal, severe font: ANNOUNCEMENT: A grave incident has been signaled aboard this vessel. All passengers are to remain in their seats upon arrival at Vex Terminal. You will be questioned by the Royal Authority. Compliance is mandatory. A grave incident.

Lucid's mind, dulled by a thick layer of guilt, immediately supplied an image: the female attendant. The one who had served him soda. The one whose body laid mangled and bloody which he had reacted indifferently to, in the control room when he took control of the train. He hadn't felt anything then. No revulsion, no hesitation. That numbness, he now understood, had been Alice's doing. She had twisted his emotions, sanded down the sharp edges of his humanity to make him a more effective tool.

But the adrenaline or Alice's substance had worn off, and the feeling rushed in now—a sharp, sickening pang of guilt that twisted in his gut. He had caused the death of a person. A real person, not a deity in a pocket dimension but he was in a sense responsible for two deaths now. The weight of it was a physical pressure on his chest. Looking at the interior an attendant stood stiffly outside the connecting hatch, face pale. The cheerful entertainment systems were dead, the ambient lighting a sterile dim white.

The previous vibrant, almost festive atmosphere was utterly gone, replaced by a tense, alert silence that hummed through the carriage. Everyone was awake, everyone was stiff and afraid. But Lucid found he couldn't muster the energy to share their fear because he had caused all this even if it wasn't true. A detached part of him idly hoped to see Ayame's tall, silent form return to her seat. She never did. Despite everything that had gone down, the chaos, the danger—she never came back.

Could she have been lost in the void? The thought brought a flicker of something akin to concern, but he quickly smothered it.

'We only shared a destination,' he reminded himself.

'I was planning on leaving her anyway the moment we reached Vex.' But her actions, her unspoken vigilance, the way she had positioned herself as a silent guardian… it had suggested something else. Something he had neither asked for nor deserved.

"Your mood is… very low," Alice's voice chimed in his mind, a delicate, probing sound.

"It is peculiar. When the narwhale pierced you, it… whispered. I felt a great sorrow, and then you fell unconscious. Did you dream? What did you see?" Lucid was evasive.

"It was nothing. Just… darkness. Pain." He was vague, deliberately so. He did not want to tell her. He could not confess what he had done, how he had clawed at a goddess with his fingernails, ripped her flesh apart, and eaten it like a rabid animal. The memory alone made him feel sick, a visceral self-loathing so deep he felt he had no right to walk among other people. The guilt was a tar pit, and he was sinking. He felt he had no reason to exist. A half a day had passed in a blur of exhaustion and mute despair.

Lucid slept, a deep, dreamless sleep that felt more like a temporary death. He woke to another announcement, sharper and louder:"All passengers, remain in your seats. Do not move. Authority personnel will now board for identity verification and preliminary questioning." Outside the window, the purple void began to churn. It melted into a rolling mist, a fog that then shredded itself apart, revealing a clear, brilliant blue sky. Lucid watched, barely processing the sight.

It gave way to a breathtaking vista: a kingdom of soaring spires and a majestic castle, buildings of vintage stonework fantastically built. Blue banners bearing a crest, a shield—fluttered everywhere. It was a place where magic and advanced science coexisted, a vision from a storybook rendered in stunning reality. A wide river gleamed along the western edge of the city, and in a grand plaza to the south, a colossal statue stood watch.

Other rails threaded the sky, bearing trains that arrived and departed on designated spectral paths. It was beautiful. But he couldn't find himself to care. The train slowed, its hum deepening, and finally settled onto a solid platform with a soft sigh of hydraulics. They had arrived. Vex. A part of Lucid felt relief. He was safe. On solid ground now after that horrible journey. The feeling lasted three seconds. The carriage doors hissed open.

Guards in crisp blue-and-silver uniforms marched in with swift, disciplined steps, their presence instantly dominating the space. They moved down the aisle, detaining everyone with brisk efficiency. Lucid was quickly surrounded. One guard, his lip curled in disdain, looked Lucid up and down—at his torn, blood-stained clothes, his generally battered appearance surrounded by a bunch of empty cans, empty non alcoholic beverages.

"What is someone like you doing in a first-class seat?" the guard demanded, suspicion heavy in his tone. If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it. Wordlessly, Lucid produced his ticket, holding it up. The guard took it, examined it, and his eyes widened slightly. The other guards nearby shared a look of shock. Someone at the back of the group let out a short, disbelieving laugh. The captain, a man with a severe face, snapped, "Who was that?

This is no jesting matter!" A calm voice cut through.

"You cannot judge a book by its cover, Captain." Another guard, younger, hissed, "Quiet! He is a Knight!" The group parted, and a young man stepped forward. He had hair the color of a summer sky and clear blue eyes, his fair skin and charming smile giving him an almost princely air. He wore light, expertly crafted armor, a sheathed sword resting at his hip. His presence was both welcoming and imposingly authoritative.

"Hello, dear traveler," the knight said, his voice pleasant but firm.

"Vex will perform a mandatory checkup following the tragic event aboard your train. It will not take much of your time. Please comply, and we will have you on your way." Inside Lucid's mind, Alice whispered, "Prince Charming… He does not compare to you, Lucid. Do not worry." Whether she sensed his despair or his bone-deep tiredness, she was trying, in her own alien way, to cheer him up. It fell on deaf ears.

The knight's easy authority, the symbol of order and justice, only made Lucid feel more like the criminal he believed himself to be. Lucid looked directly into the knight's blue eyes. The words left his mouth before he could reconsider them, driven by a guilt that demanded confession, demanded punishment.

"I am the one who found the dead flight attendant," Lucid stated, his voice flat. The air in the cabin seemed to freeze. The pressure around them grew palpable. The guards surrounding the blue-haired knight went pale. The knight's charming smile vanished, replaced by a focused intensity.

"Are you telling the truth?"

"Yes." Alice's voice erupted in a silent scream within his skull.

"No! Why would you say that? Silence is a shield! This is not a game, they will cage you!" He ignored her.

"I see," the knight said, his tone now cool and formal.

"What is your name?"

"Lucid."

"Then, Lucid, you are hereby detained for questioning by the First Arsenal of Vex." Guards instantly raised their swords, points angled toward him. The blue-haired knight gestured sharply for them to lower their weapons. He then extended his own hand toward Lucid, not with hostility, but with a grim expectation of surrender. Did interaction with Neptune make him feel this guilty, to the point he would willingly get arrested? Apparently, It wasn't just about the attendant anymore. It was about everything.

The self-loathing and guilt for the blood he had known his hand from the deity that had offered him their very soul and flesh was reminder the sheer atrocity he had committed. Well, it wasn't like he had done anything here. Not in this kingdom. But he had done enough elsewhere to fill a hundred cells. He met the knight's gaze and, without a word, placed his hand in his. The surrender was complete. The hatch burst open and a young guard hurried through, clutching a stack of papers and a sleek, humming device.

"Sir Frederick!" he announced, slightly breathless.

"We have monitored the surrounding cabins and the adjacent void-space. The frequency of foreign fate particles is rampant. Someone traveled through a rift in that sector, and the temporal signature coincides with the attendant's death. The perpetrator is likely long gone." The young knight, Frederick, turned his sharp gaze from Lucid to the guard.

"Is that so? Can you monitor this individual?" He gestured toward Lucid with his chin. Lucid was already restrained, his hands bound behind his back. He stood with an air of weary indifference, watching the exchange as if it were a mildly interesting play. The guard approached, raising the device. It emitted a soft, pulsing whir as a beam of pale light swept over Lucid from head to toe. The device chimed, and its screen flashed with intricate, scrolling data.

"It… it's positive," the guard stammered, his eyes widening.

"The residual frequency from that rift… it matches the fate essence reading coming from him. It's layered over his own signature."

"This might be the guy," another guard muttered, hand tightening on his weapon. A nervous murmur rippled through the cabin.

"Weird one," a guard whispered.

"Is that really him?"

"What's that fog-like thing clinging to his face?"

"He's not fully human, is he?" Alice's voice was a furious whisper in Lucid's mind.

"That's ridiculous! We subdued the rift! The true killer could have exited at any moment after the act! This is a flawed reading!"

"Do you have any statement in your defense?" Knight Frederick asked, his tone neutral, but his eyes were like chips of blue ice. Lucid met his gaze. The words came out flat, factual.

"I absorbed the rift." A shocked murmur, louder this time, swept through the guards.

"That's even possible…?"

"A human can't just… consume a rift…"

"Alright," Frederick said, his voice cutting through the whispers. He took the formal device from the younger guard and made an entry.

"Lucid, you are hereby placed under arrest. Anything you say may and will be used against you by the Royal Administration of Vex."

"That is not proof!" Alice yelled internally, a sound of pure frustration.

"It is circumstantial! Challenge him!" But Lucid said nothing. He simply stood there, accepting the pronouncement. The knight took hold of Lucid's arm and guided him from the train carriage.

"Show him your noble stamp! Ask for the cabin driver! Lucid, why are you so compliant?" Alice pleaded, bewildered by his passive surrender. He was escorted outside by a ridiculously large contingent of guards, as if he were a rampaging beast. The fresh air of Vex hit him crisp, cool, like the ambiance of a city and fresh air. It felt astonishingly good after spending three days sealed in the train and wandering the dead air of the void. And he was in chains. Cuffed, officially detained.

His first day in the storied kingdom of Vex, and he was a prisoner. The irony was not lost on him. It felt, in a twisted way, appropriate.