Chương 163: Chapter 162 - Transactional Hearts

Lucid found Ayame on the floor. Her back against the wall. Head tilted at an angle that would hurt when she woke. The chair she had been sitting in was pushed back. Empty.

'She finally gave in. Exhaustion caught up.' He stood over her for a moment. Watched her breathe. Her face was peaceful in sleep. Younger somehow. Without the constant vigilance that usually tightened her features. A blanket lay folded on a nearby table. He grabbed it. Draped it over her without waking her. She stirred slightly. Pulled the fabric closer. Did not wake. Lucid turned away. Headed upstairs. Left her to rest.

'She needs it more than she admits.' Morning came with harbor sounds. Ships creaking. Gulls screaming. Merchants already shouting prices at each other like volume determined value. Lucid walked Port Vexis alone. Arthur had gone somewhere. Ayame was still sleeping when he left. He did not wake her. The city looked different in daylight. Less dangerous. More desperate. People moved with purpose that felt forced. Like they were convincing themselves their lives had direction.

An old woman struggled with a crate near the docks. Too heavy. Too awkward. She kept trying to lift it. Kept failing. Lucid's first instinct was to keep walking. Not his problem. Not his responsibility. He stopped anyway. Walked over. Lifted the crate without asking. Carried it to where she pointed. Set it down. She thanked him. He was already leaving before she finished. Two streets later a child ran past chasing a ball that rolled into traffic. Lucid caught the ball before a cart could run it over.

Tossed it back. The child grinned. Lucid did not.

'Why am I doing this?' A merchant had dropped papers. Wind scattered them. Lucid helped gather them before thinking about it. The merchant offered payment. Lucid refused. Walked away confused at himself.

"You are smiling." Arthur appeared beside him. Matching his pace. Looking amused.

"I am not smiling."

"You were. Just a moment ago."

"You are seeing things."

"Am I?" Arthur watched him with that patient expression. The one that said he knew something Lucid did not want to admit.

"For someone so rude and self interested you certainly help a lot of people." Lucid stopped walking. Turned to face Arthur.

"What are you looking at?"

"You. Being decent despite your best efforts not to be."

"I am not decent. I am practical. Helping people costs nothing."

"Except time. Except effort. Except the risk of appearing weak."

"I do not care about appearing weak." Arthur smiled wider.

"You care about everything. You just pretend not to." Lucid wanted to argue. Found no good argument. Settled for glaring instead. They walked in silence for a bit. The harbor spread below them. Blue water. Blue sky. Different from Tyriana where purple void pressed against everything. This was a different continent. Different rules. Different colors painted the world.

"I have a question," Lucid said.

"Yes?"

"Why do you follow me?" Arthur did not answer immediately. They kept walking. Found a bench on a hill overlooking the harbor. Sat.

"Do you not remember our meeting with the queen?" Arthur asked finally. If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

"I remember. She marked us. Sent us here. Gave us a mission we cannot refuse."

"That is part of it." Arthur looked out at the water.

"But I could have refused. Not the Mark. That was forced. But I could have made it difficult. Could have resisted in ways that mattered."

"But you did not."

"No. Because during the coronation I saw something." Arthur's voice dropped. Became quieter.

"In her eyes. Elara. The young princess I thought I knew. She was not there anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"It is hard to put into words. But it felt like the Elara I spent time guiding had been replaced. By something else. Something wearing her face but operating on different principles." Lucid thought about the coronation. About Elara's cold smile. About the way she had orchestrated everything like pieces on a board.

"I do not understand," he said.

"She had something on her mind. Maybe it was the incident. Her father passing. The queen dying. Maybe that changed her. But there is something hidden beneath those innocent eyes. Something that seemed to grow after the rift incident you were involved in." Arthur's expression went somber. Distant.

"So in a sense I have lost her."

"Then why come?" Lucid asked.

"Why follow a mission from someone you do not trust anymore?"

"Because there is something I need to confront. Personally. I need to become stronger. Physically. Psychologically. So I can show her." He paused.

"To be honest I see myself inside her. Parts I do not want to see. Parts I thought I had buried." He grimaced. The expression looked wrong on his face. Arthur was supposed to be steady. Certain. Seeing him falter was strange. Uncomfortable.

'Everyone has weaknesses. Even the righteous ones.'

"At least your goals are clear," Lucid said. He tried to make it sound light. Failed.

"I do not care what horrible past you lived. What you feel you need to prove. But just know that I am with you." He smiled. Meant it. Arthur smiled back.

"Thank you." They sat in silence for a while. Just two people on a bench watching ships move through blue water. Arthur's expression shifted. Like something was eating at him. Something he wanted to say but was not sure how. Lucid noticed. Waited.

"I have been meaning to ask," Arthur started. Stopped. Reconsidered.

'Just spit it out already.'

"It is about Ayame."

"Yeah?"

"You two seem to have history. From before Vex. It would seem." Lucid did not know where this was going.

"Yeah. Why?"

"I have been meaning to ask. Are you two close?"

"Yes. We survived a blizzard in the Red Mountains by sharing warmth. We are close."

"I see. She is sharp. Silent. Strong. But kind in her own way."

"She is useful. Capable."

"We are so close she requires frequent blood donations." A blush crept up Arthur's face. Actual color rising in his cheeks. Lucid had not seen him blush before. He did not even know it was possible.

"I see. It is rare to see a human and an Oni together. But I support it."

"What?"

"I am sorry. I will give you two some privacy next time."

'Wait. What is he talking about?' An awkward silence settled over them. Thick and uncomfortable. Arthur spoke carefully.

"It is not uncommon for people to grow close when journeying together. Especially in difficult circumstances. I support it."

"Wait..." Lucid said.

"It is not like that." Arthur looked back confused.

"Oh... I see... But the way she acts around you is... confusing, if you are trying to hide it there is no reason to. I will not view you differently."

"No!" Lucid did not mean to shout out loud but his voice betrayed his thoughts after trying to keep his voice calm. Though he Failed slightly. Arthur observed his expression. Read something there.

"Oh... Okay... Sorry for drawing that conclusion." He looked uncomfortable now. Like he wished he had not started this conversation.

"The Oni folk are individuals that protect their territorial claims actively. Food sources. Important things." Arthur paused.

"All of that matches how she lingers around you." He met Lucid's eyes.

"You do know that she loves you right?" Lucid leaned back on the bench. Closed his eyes. Let the sunlight warm his face. He sighed.

"I am aware." It had never been about affection or interest. What mattered was how much he could gain from shared bonds. Alice kept him alive. Her devotion gave him power. Healing. Resistance. All because of their connection. Ayame was the same. A blade he could use. She had sworn in Vex that she would cut down anyone for him. Even if he was wrong. That kind of devotion had value. Practical value. But what did he offer in return? Nothing of substance. Just the hope of affection. The possibility of love.

His attention. His faith. His devotion. If that was all it took to sway a primordial maiden and an Oni then he would give them what they needed. Hope. The illusion of shared affection and love.

'I do not have time to indulge in love.'

'Because what is there to love in me anyway?'

'I hate myself too.' He looked at Arthur. Opened his eyes.

"Yes. I am aware." He smiled while his eyes lingered on the distant seagulls near the shore.

"But I cannot afford to lose focus." Arthur's eyes briefly shot up with something. Curiosity maybe. Or understanding. Then they softened.

"I see." A pause. Then quieter.

"Do not make her wait then." Lucid bit his tongue hard. It tasted copper.

'I know. I know that is cruel. I know what I am doing.' But knowing did not change anything. Knowing did not make him better. It just made him aware of exactly how terrible he was being while continuing to do it anyway.

"I will try," he lied. Arthur did not push. He just nodded. Looked back at the harbor. They sat in silence again. The blue water moved below them. Ships came and went. People lived and died and never knew two marked individuals sat on a hill discussing love.

'Everything is transactional. Alice gives me life. I give her false devotion. Ayame gives me loyalty. I give her my blood. Arthur gives me support. I give him purpose.'

'Nothing is free. Everything has a price. Even kindness. Especially kindness.' The sun climbed higher. The bench grew warm beneath them.

"We should move," Arthur said eventually.

"Find out more about the relic. Make a plan."

"Yes." They stood. Brushed off their clothes. Started walking back toward the district.