Chương 108: 42 – The Times Between

"They aren't committing to any more attacks. Certainly not after that!" Lupkep boasted. He'd been up on the wall, handing out Dexterity draughts to anyone who wanted to drink one, and he'd seen the entire spectacle just as I had. I leaned over my cup, nodding.

"Chin up, Elmerina! We're doing well! At least for tonight, we're safe, warm, and well fed. What more could we ask for?" I tried to smile at him, and I thought I succeeded.

"Sorry, Lupkep. I've been feeling terrible lately. I've caught something, and seeing what happened outside the wall isn't doing my stomach any favors," I said.

"Sleep is what you need. Sleep and stew. I swear you move around more than old Dobretin these days. Popping up every which way. I can hardly turn around without seeing your bright red hair! Not that I'm complaining, of course," he said.

"I'd offer healing… but it wouldn't help," Akkiwa said from beside me. I nodded.

"Normuran said the same thing. Rest, and plenty of water. Fruit would help, but it feels like I haven't seen an apple in months."

"Hard to come by fruit in the winter months," Lupkep said.

"Edra might've been able to keep a few, but I think she made an effort to use most of them when it became clear that she might need her mana for more pressing issues than cold storage."

"Don't trouble yourself. I'm spry. I'll bounce back in no time," I said, feigning my old confidence as I held up my arm and squeezed my flimsy bicep.

"I've got dried pears," Akkiwa said.

"Papa likes them." I tried to keep my eyes from widening in hope, but Akkiwa grinned.

"I'll get you one. We don't have too many, and it'll be like prying open a bear's claws to get him to part with one, but for you, I'll do it." I bowed my head.

"If it's not too much trouble." Akkiwa grinned.

"What are friends for? Make sure you make it up to me with loads of corn when the summer comes." Summer. Gods, a girl could dream.

"If we're still here in summer," piped up Eysee from the next table over.

"There'll be none of that talk," Lupkep said.

"We've already shown them what we're made of once. We're going to be alright, lass. You'll see." Just a month ago, he'd called me 'Lass,' too. It was always 'Elmerina' now.

"If you say so," Eysee said dejectedly. Eysee was concerning me. Where Elsee had perked up and become more vibrant than ever due to her increasing levels, Dexterity, and Archery skill, the once exuberant Eysee was flagging under all the new restrictions. Locked at home, firing her sister's crossbow, completely unable to go anywhere without her someone accompanying her.

Her mischief was no longer appreciated or tolerated, and half of the other kids in town her age had moved on with the evacuation parties, or left for Denarla long ago. I was here, but I was to her what Oxana had been to me. Older. Not a close confidant. Elsee was getting to be herself, but Eysee was being forced to wash bandages all day, help with wounded, and was probably seeing crossbows in her sleep with how many the family had been making. Come to think of it, I was flagging under all of this myself.

Gods, when was the last time I'd gotten to sit down and try to make something? I missed my lab… It wasn't the same anymore, though. With the wall a hundred paces away from it, and the memory of the troll attacks, I couldn't feel comfortable there now.

"I know you're trying to keep our spirits up, Lupkep, but uggghh!" Akkiwa groaned.

"I hate this. All this waiting and wondering. With the rift monsters, at least they just attacked and got it over with. What are they going to do!?"

"The general says…" I trailed off, holding my throat, before I burst into a coughing fit.

"Are you sure you should be up and about, Mera?" Akkiwa asked, patting me on the back in that way that never actually helps anyone, but still feels like a kind gesture. I shook my head.

"No, but what if they need me?"

"The town has kept up just fine without you for years, Miss Elmerina," Lupkep said.

"Ignoring the fact that we'd all be dead twice over without her," Eysee piped up again. Lupkep glared at the young girl, but she hadn't even looked up from her broth. Eysee's pessimism was clearly starting to bother the old tavernkeeper. He was about to say something pointed, but Akkiwa interrupted before he could.

"What did the general say?" she asked me.

"They'll likely not attack again at least until tomorrow. He doesn't expect an attack at all. He thinks they'll try a siege. They know we can't have much food, and the lake won't provide enough. Why risk the men, when it's easier to just trap us? Easier to starve us out than engage us directly again. Barring that, they'll definitely ford the river and attack from the Denarlan Road, or possibly the High Road, but that'll take a few days at least. For now… we're safe." The narrative has been taken without permission.

Report any sightings.

"As safe as we can be with an enemy army right outside our town?" Akkiwa asked with a dorky grin. I chuckled.

"Yes. That." The Mayor had already told everyone this, but it seemed they needed to hear it again. I stood.

"You're going home?" Akkiwa asked. I nodded.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"I didn't mean to waste Edra's soup, but I don't think it's a good idea for anyone to eat that."

"I'll eat it. I'm not afraid of a little cold," Eysee said, reaching for the soup. Before she could, Edra seemed to pop up out of nowhere and bopped the other girl on the head.

"It's not good to eat after the sick! Didn't Omoali teach you anything?" I blinked, but turned to Eysee.

"She's right. You could get sick too, and that would make you even more miserable."

"I'm not miserable!" I gave her a half-lidded stare, and she wilted. I sighed.

"Thanks, Edra. I'm just going to head home. Eysee. Walk with me, would you?"

"I wasn't done eating!" she insisted. I eyed her empty bowl.

"... Well. I wish I wasn't done eating."

"Don't we all?" I said with a chuckle. I wrapped my cloak around me, a gift from Hadra last year, and stepped out of the bar. A small round of sad groans accompanied my departure, and I waved at the disappointed patrons. Another night with no story. With Nemmikel gone accompanying Mom, and me sick, entertainment was in short supply lately. I held the door long enough to let Eysee follow me outside.

"You're not really heading home, are you?" she asked.

"A few quick stops first," I said.

"Mera… you need to rest!" the girl said.

"You're going to run yourself into an early grave, and if I'm saying that, you know it's bad." I chuckled.

"A few stops. I promise."

"One stop," she insisted.

"One stop then," I agreed, before turning and walking toward the west end of town.

"Your house isn't in this direction, Mera," the girl said. I beamed at the girl, and she rolled her eyes. We walked for a little while in comfortable silence. Well. I felt comfortable. She was clearly agitated.

"What's going on with you?" I asked finally.

"Hmm?"

"Why the bitter act?" I asked.

"Why are you poking Lupkep?" The girl sighed.

"It's not about Lupkep… or anyone really. Sometimes I wish… I wish I'd gone with the evacuation."

"It's not too late. The east end of town is open, and I'm sure Omoali and Mularet would prefer if you didn't stay. I'm a little surprised they weren't some of the first ones to leave, considering the two of you."

"And go where? Better to die here than have to rebuild somewhere that'll get destroyed by armies again in a few years anyway. Or… that's what Dad always says."

"You don't agree?" The girl gulped.

"I… I don't… I see Elsee, looking so happy, gaining skills like this is the best thing that ever happened to her. Mom and Dad never even thought of leaving. They're making so much money, and they don't seem scared at all! Th-then there's you." Part of me wanted to ask what I could've done, but it would've been only for show. I knew what she was talking about.

"You're all so fucking brave, and all I want to do is crawl into my bed and cry. I hate this! Why can't things just be like they were!? Why can't I be like Elsee? She's preparing how to fight the monsters, and I'm just… alone."

"Cobias left, didn't he?" She chuckled.

"For being so perceptive, sometimes you miss the obvious, Mera. Or should I say Lady Elmerina, now?" I rolled my eyes.

"If you do, then by my new status as a Lady, I command you to stop immediately." She laughed. In the distance, over the wall, a burst of magic came from the distant treeline, followed by the rumble beneath our feet. Another tree being felled for our enemy's firewood.

"So… what am I missing? I thought you and he… well. I knew the gossip circles were starting to push the two of you together almost as hard as my parents did with Reid and me. I didn't think you appreciated it any more than we did." We kept walking, and she didn't say anything for a while.

"It was during my concussion. She left. At the first sign of trouble, they packed up. By the time I woke up, their entire family was gone. I don't even know where they went, and I didn't get to say goodbye." I grimaced. Unlike Elsee, Eysee had never wanted to leave the village. She'd never been conflicted. Until now, I'd always thought she had feelings for Cobias, but it was more complicated than that.

"Olina," I said.

"Not her brother." She lifted her fist in a pathetic cheer.

"I didn't know," I said.

"I feel like I should've, but I didn't."

"I don't think I did either. Not till she was gone. It's not her brother I miss, though," she said.

"I mean… not like I miss her." I barely knew the girl. Cobias and Olina Farmer both lived a long way out of town. Their parents were friends with the Carpenters, but they didn't do much business with us, and tended to dislike Mom for all the usual reasons. Cobias was the twins' age, while Olina was a year older. Seventeen. Close enough in age to be best friends with the twins. This fucking war. Splitting things I couldn't even see. What did Eschal think to gain from it? I sighed.

"I wish I could help. You've got to know all of us feel that way too, right? I mean about the war, and wishing all of this would just end, so things could go back to how they were?"

"You most of all. No one else sees it, but I do," she said.

"Here I am complaining about missing one friend. At least I've still got El, and my parents." A lump formed in my throat. I didn't know why. I shouldn't feel guilty of all things. Tears were coming unbidden to my eyes.

"I'm fine. I know they're all doing their best to get back here." She put her arm on my shoulder.

"Yeah. They are. You know they are," she said. The shoulder pat became a hug. I didn't cry. I needed to get down to the smithy and check the progress on the next cannon. Fred had an idea of how we could test just before the attack, and I wanted to find out if he had made any progress. But the hug lasted longer than it needed to. Huh. Eysee was taller than me now. I wondered when that had happened.