Chương 44: Chapter Forty-Four: Skills

"So, you're saying that polarization in regard to light deals with the oscillation of the electromagnetic waves being emitted. When light is polarized, it means that they are filtered to only allow a specific direction of oscillation waves to pass through the filter, is that right?" I ask while visualizing the image of a rope being waved in one direction like Kathryn explained as a visual aid.

"Yes, that's basically it from what I understand. Don't forget that non-polarized light scatters in all directions of oscillation. Sorry I can't really remember anything else from the class, it was a couple of years ago and I mostly just took it for an easy credit. Turns out that classical optics don't actually have to do with old timey bifocals like I thought, heh." She chuckles to herself while lying back on the thick, heavy wool blanket that covers each bunk in the barracks.

"Hmmm… I think I get the general gist. Do you know if this same principle applies to other forms of radiation or just electromagnetic?" I inquire from my perch on the metal bed post. Kathryn shrugs, and I assume I have finally reached the end of her knowledge on the subject. She knew a surprising amount, and the rope example she gave me was quite useful in putting the theory into real world application, so I leave her alone for a moment while I wonder to myself how I could use the information for my skill.

<Polarize> already filters the glare of the sun, so I have to wonder how it arrived at that use already. Was an instinctual application of the skill that fit my current understanding of polarization the reason the skill manifested as glorified sunglasses? If so, then theoretically the skill should do more now, right? Firing up <Polarize>, I attempt to mentally change the 'filter' like Kathryn explained, but nothing happens.

Is it a matter of my understanding of the skill's nature, or rather my lack of ability to manage the skill itself? I have never had such trouble with any of my other skills, so the idea seems to be a matter of my ability rather than understanding. I didn't really need to understand the application of my skills before they became useful to me. I just tried all sorts of ideas that came into my head and then brought them into reality purely from my imagination and the help of some intense focus. Can I do this again?

Can I just weave the basic theory I already know with some fictitious and creative thought in order to push the skill beyond what its current abilities are? That seems much too easy and something I have already tried in the past. Experiments with mana, my concentration skill, and a fair dose of imagination have led me to a dead end with the peculiar skill. Even Master Lirin himself didn't know how to use the skill or what it could be applied to in practice.

Was this purposefully censored by the system or did he truly not know anything? Something tells me I'll never really know. Even worse is that fact that the Mana Thaumaturge's creations can't even assist with this particular issue. I had attempted to use the prototype array for <Polarize> beforehand, but even the data provided by the archive didn't help at all. The only thing the machine showed me was the mana pathways that reacted in my eye, but not how the skill actually interacted with the world itself.

I'm missing something. Something that isn't provided through understanding of the skill's uses or even how the skill itself reacts to my activation. I think I lack understanding about skills themselves. Despite some of my skill's relatively high levels, I wouldn't think of myself as particularly adept at leveling them beyond any normal speed. Rather than talent with the skills, I earned levels in each through sheer quantity of experimentation rather than quality.

Under Master Lirin's guidance, I used my skills in all sorts of odd ways for what I thought was improving my familiarity with them. By now, I can change the output rate, the location of expulsion, and the speed at which my radiation is drained through my <Emit> skill. This was something learned through practice and repetition inside the testing room of the basement similar to my level in <Mana Control>. <Fixation> is different though, as I believed myself to have leveled it purely through use alone.

I can't recall myself using the mental skill in any sort of creative way, and Master Lirin never taught me anything about using it. Is it simply a difference in nature of the skill compared to some of the other more physical ones? <Infuse> and <Mana Construct> are both skills that I can visualize easily. The trick with those two is I legitimately had to visualize them in order to gain them as skills.

They also both have physical manifestations that I can see with the naked eye which aid me in the ability to manage each of them. Wait…

"Kathryn?"

"You've been randomly asking me questions a lot now, you know that right? I'll have to get some payback or something for this later." She says while shifting to her side on the bed to get a better look at me.

"That's fine. But I have another one."

"Okay, but your neck is bleeding. Is that normal?" She asks in a slightly concerned tone. This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. I stop my fingers from scratching my skin, not having realized I was beginning to tear through the top layer. I also notice how she didn't offer to help me clean it up or even ask if I was okay. Maybe she has started getting more comfortable with me?

For right now, it doesn't matter, and I get back to the task at hand while wiping myself off with the hem of my shirt.

"When you use <Terraform>, do you imagine any specific way of your body utilizing the skill at all?"

"How do you mean?"

"Like does it feel easier to use the skill when you imagine the ground as another limb or something?"

"Eh, nothing like that." Her lips purse while she studies the ground for a moment." If I had to say one thing, I kind of clench my hand into a fist or open my palm when I try to do certain things cause it feels more comfortable. I don't know if it actually helps make the skill work any better, but I would say it helps me use the skill without having to constantly think about it, I guess." I nod at her explanation before retreating back into my own inner discussion. Just as I thought.

Skills are similar to muscles in that they respond to memory, comfortability, and personal imagination.

Muscle memory allows an athlete to grip their bat or racket with the same hand position every single time simply because that is where their mind likes it to be most. An individual's personal technique of how they proceed with any normal activity like walking or talking is dependent on how that individual is most comfortable doing it. Their personal tastes and what they think is more enjoyable, cool, or just easier to deal with overall dictates how they do these everyday activities.

So, theoretically, the best way to use your skills in a way that costs the least amount of mental strain or thought is to use the most comfortable method of activation for the user themselves. In a way, this would be just like making the skill your own rather than just attempting to use it for what you might think it should be. Maybe that's why others telling you how to use your skill makes it harder for the individual to level up their skill themselves.

The intrusion of a perceived method of use that is not synonymous with the user's own method could completely screw over how that person uses their own skill. Holy crap. That's why Master Lirin's prototype array is formatted to provide the user with a complete analysis of how they use their skills and nothing else. It's basically just a method of reflecting your own thoughts back at yourself until something clicks in your own personal understanding of how your skill works.

In the wake of my discovery, I seat myself on the ground while ignoring Kathryn's questioning look. Since <Polarize> is already activated, I close my eyes and slip into a sort of meditation with <Fixation> that allows me to focus on my own thoughts rather than dealing with any of the others in the room. Soon enough, the sounds of chatter and other inputs entering my mind become nothing but a silent buzz in the back of my head as I fully concentrate on the theory concocted in my brain.

I need to think of what <Polarize> looks like. What does it feel like when I use it. How it changes my perception. Instead of focusing on what it does when activated, I need to consolidate in my mind what the skill itself even represents. For starters, I imagine a slit filter exactly like how Kathryn describes. The filter's exact visualization is useless to me, so instead of thinking of it like a physical object, I imagine it as a principle.

Whenever light passes through this filter, the oscillating electromagnetic waves are whittled down to only a specific type that I allow to come through when passing a certain point. But where is the point at which they are filtered? For now, I will stick to my sunglasses analogy since it is the most familiar to me and say that the certain point I am looking for is the surface of my eyes.

With this decided, I force myself to acknowledge that the film covering my eye is the origin of the filter, and everything that comes through it is dependent on how my filter is oriented. Slowly, with enough time to imagine each and every orientation of the filter principle that coats my eyes, I envision how the waves entering my eyes will be polarized. What will the product of each filter result in? Can I use a filter to magnify ambient light like night vision?

Can I create a filter that delves all the way down into invisible infrared light? What would I see after this is complete? Can I use this to filter my radiation and mana at later levels? I ask myself these questions and much more. Instead of forcing the skill to activate and attempting to change its effect, I instead concoct predetermined solutions of what I believe the skill's effect will be after I change it.

Notifications ping somewhere in the confines of my brain, but I don't even hear them at all as I re-create my starter skill from the ground up inside my head. Eventually, I reach a point where I can feel my eyes burning, and my head pounds violently. The surprise of pain causes me to lose focus, and my eyelids flutter open to reveal a backdrop full of vibrant colors and movement that makes my head hurt even more.

It's like the entire world has been enveloped with some sort of fun-house mirror effect mixed with a kaleidoscope that reminds me of the old videos I would see where someone would purposefully attempt to induce an epileptic seizure on the viewer. Through the information overload streaming through my eyes and into my brain, I barely have the wherewithal left over to realize that the blinding scene is a side effect of my skill.

I quickly turn off <Polarize> and the wave of fractured light and moving figures is deleted, leaving me back on the floor of the barracks with blurry vision and stinging eyes.

"Are you okay man?!" Wade shouts from nearby. Looking up from my position on the floor, I realize that the other three people in the room are surrounding me with varying levels of concern and worry. Taking a breath to steady myself, I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. Crimson red smears all over my skin, and it seems that my eyes were bleeding due to the strain I had put on myself.

"I'm fine. How long have I been bleeding?" I ask curiously.

"Only like a few minutes, I think. We didn't even notice until Kathryn saw you fall over." The blonde boy explains as his features draw into a rare expression of genuine worry. I must look kind of scary to warrant such a reaction from the others, but besides the headache left over from the experience, I actually feel pretty good. Instead of going to the bathroom to clean up my face, I check the notifications that have been burning a hole in my thoughts the entire time. < Polarize Lvl. 1 -> Polarize Lvl.

2 > < Polarize Lvl. 2 -> Polarize Lvl. 3 > < Polarize Lvl. 3 -> Polarize Lvl. 4 > < Polarize Lvl. 4 -> Polarize Lvl. 5 >"Are you actually alright, man?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm peachy!"