Chương 71: Mistakes Were Made

Brandy's face was pinched, and it wasn't because of Melia's magical [Greenhouse] she was staring at. Well, only partly, because Brandy didn't know how to feel about a fantasy greenhouse rivaling a modern-day, if small-scale, advanced industrial agricultural center. No, what made her eye twitch was the fact that Celestara had the gall to make a request for something to be planted in it. The cheeky goddess living in her necklace was getting a bit too familiar, invading her dreams to talk about avocados.

How was Brandy supposed to even bring this up? Ahem, good brethren, your goddess demands avocado toast. Brandy snorted. If Celestara wanted avocado that badly, she should just send Brandy home. Southern California was loaded with them. Instead, she stood silently in the entryway of the [Greenhouse], slightly to the side so she wouldn't get in the way of any of the brothers who were busy at work.

Before coming to this world, if anybody asked her what she thought people in a monastery, cloister, or any other place like this did, she would have guessed something to do with whatever religion they practiced. Maybe took some vows of silence or secluded themselves for meditation and reflection. Plenty of monks did do that, but Brandy was surprised to see how many people at the abbey worked in other fields. Some, quite literally. Did they take vows of plows? Brandy snorted again. Now she was just being ridiculous.

Jokes aside, Brandy counted at least thirty brothers and a sister diligently working the fields. Some were [Priests], most were [Acolytes] and [Monks], but all of them had at least a few levels in a farming class with skills to match. People were already hard at work digging, tilling, fertilizing, and otherwise doing whatever it was that people needed to do to get ready to plant crops.

The sister must have had some sort of scholarly class, or maybe she was simply logistically minded, because she was standing at a lectern with a schematic of the [Greenhouse] pinned down, with tiny annotations of what was going where and how it would be sorted. Sitting on a tall stool next to her was the bag of saplings under the careful watch of two burly guards. Brandy could leave. She could turn around and walk right out that door.

But she was too responsible, and she knew her dreams would be filled with a nagging, disappointed goddess who didn't get her avocados. Brandy let out a heavy sigh and made her way gracefully toward the lectern.

"Excuse me, are you in charge of deciding what trees get planted?" The woman turned around, heavy bags in her eyes, likely from staying up all night so as not to waste any valuable time in the new [Greenhouse]. As soon as she laid eyes on Brandy, her eyes widened and she bowed her head low.

"[Saintess]! You honor us with your presence." Brandy resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Light bless you, sister." She cast a low rank [Renew], which wouldn't do much healing in actual combat, but it was pretty, flashy, and might alleviate the annoyance from a few scrapes and scratches. The woman stared at her arms in awe as golden-green sparkles infused her. These people were healers, or at the very least surrounded by them. They'd seen this exact skill before, stronger ones even. It shouldn't be such a big deal. Brandy shook her head and asked again.

"Are you in charge of planting? Or can you point me to who is?"

"Yes!" the woman cried eagerly.

"We were informed by the Bishop to prepare a wide variety from the saplings provided to us, with the exception that at least one section of the [Greenhouse] is to be reserved for a cherry grove." Brandy's eye twitched again.

"Other than that restriction, we have a staggering amount to choose from. We're almost paralyzed by choice, if I'm honest, especially since we don't know all the features this place provides. Some of our more agriculturally inclined members are investigating as we speak, and I'm sure we'll begin planting before the end of the week."

"So," Brandy asked tentatively, "The full list of trees hasn't been decided on yet?"

"Hm, no, strictly speaking, it hasn't. I'll be honest, none of us have ever managed an enchanted [Greenhouse] before…if they even exist. It's the first one I've ever heard of, but I'll admit my experience is lacking. I am only rank 2, and yet Matron Vivian has trusted me with this responsibility."

"And I'm sure you'll do quite well," Brandy said, watching the woman's face light up like the sun.

"So, about those trees," Brandy persisted.

"Would it be possible to make a request?" Despite how reverential the woman was when talking with the [Saint], it seemed like that lofty title would only take Brandy so far. The woman looked torn, supremely regretful, but she shook her head.

"I…am afraid not," she said, bowing deeply.

"At least not without direct approval from the Bishop himself! We were told this [Greenhouse] was donated by a very particular person, and they are not to be angered! As such, every decision must be cleared by him first. I am truly sorry!"

"Not even for a single tree?" Brandy balked.

"Perhaps we could send word to the Bishop?" the woman almost begged. She really did want to please Brandy, but she was doing a good job sticking to her guns. Brandy could respect that. But waiting for approval from the top of the church sounded like a massive hassle and a lot of red tape, and Brandy wanted to get out into the fields and start leveling again. This was supposed to be a minor errand to get a nosy goddess off her back.

Brandy closed her eyes and debated whether she really wanted to do what she was about to do. She should be patient. There wasn't any rush. The trees would all grow rapidly in here regardless of when they got planted, so what was one or two extra days? Until the thought of taking a nap and having to listen to Celestara disrupt her sleep time pushed her over the line.

"What if I told you Celestara herself wished for this tree to be planted?" Brandy asked with a heavy sigh. Part of her didn't expect this to work. Who in their right mind would believe that from a complete and total stranger? The woman stared at Brandy, likely wondering if Brandy thought she was an idiot. And then Brandy's status as a [Saint] asserted itself and the woman's face lit up.

"Has Celestara decided to bless this planting?" she said excitedly.

"Will you bestow a miracle on our efforts?" Brandy nearly recoiled. She should have waited. She should have petitioned the Bishop in a letter, where she could be far, far away from this madness. The woman's shout drew the attention of several nearby workers, who all rushed over to watch the [Saint] bless their efforts. Better yet, Celestara could get somebody else to be her mouthpiece…but Brandy knew that wasn't possible. Apparently, nobody else had the connection or whatever to act as a conduit.

"Which tree do you wish to bless?" Brandy groaned. Where was the woman's earlier hesitation? But now that she was deep in this nonsense, she had to get it over with, and she really didn't want anybody calling over the Bishop or the Matron. She didn't need her legend of sainthood growing any larger.

"An avocado tree," Brandy sighed, before quickly adding, "Just one!" The woman picked up the small sack, closed her eyes, and mentally sifted through the bag's inventory. When she finally found what she wanted, she reached in and began pulling something out. Two young men came rushing over to assist, and within moments, they were holding a small, healthy-looking sapling. … it was a far cry from the avocado trees Brandy was familiar with.

She supposed they had to start somewhere, but this sad thing looked closer to a Charlie Brown Christmas tree than anything appointed by a goddess. The two men carried it forward reverently, presenting it to her and waiting for her blessing. Brandy stared at the small sapling being held aloft by the two young men. She wanted to groan. Why was this her life? How did this help her defeat a Demon Lord? And that tiny twig of a sapling did not look very sturdy.

Was it really going to grow up big and strong and finally produce fruit worthy of a goddess? … were avocados actually fruit? What was she actually supposed to do? How did one bless a tree? She was a [Saint], not a [Druid]. Brandy didn't care anymore. She laid her hand gently on the trunk of the spindly tree, barely thicker than her forearm, and wished for it to flourish.

Celestara, so help me, if you don't appreciate the work I'm doing for you in your stupid avocado quest, the next time I'm in Lakeridge, I'm throwing your necklace in the lake. What could only be described as a white dot appeared suddenly in the air above their heads. A blinding white dot, as if somebody punched a hole in reality and there was a bajillion-watt bulb behind it. Like a cosmic Lite-Brite.

The dot stretched out into a thin line, about a foot long, and then, like the radar sensor, it pivoted in a circle, moving through a full 360 degrees. Soon, a blinding white circle appeared in the air, like a window into the divine realm, and a column of light poured from it, washing the sapling in holy energy. The men dropped the sapling in panic, falling to their knees and covering their faces with their hands. Fortunately, the sapling wasn't damaged.

In fact, as the light quickly faded, it remained floating in the air, slowly revolving in a circle. The leaves, previously a healthy green, had turned golden, and not in an unhealthy or sickly way. Not in the "it's autumn and the leaves are falling" sort of way either. Literally golden. While they weren't metallic, Brandy wouldn't be surprised if they might get mistaken for pure gold. The foreman lady, whatever her title actually was, shakily reached her hand out to touch the obviously sacred sapling.

The men on the floor slowly raised their heads, just as their mouths slowly fell open. Everybody did the first thing that came to mind: cast [Inspect].

[Celestara's Avocado Tree] Level: 0 Rarity: Divine Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. Produces: [Celestial Avocados] Some elves cultivate World Trees, some elves bless avocados. The value of either may be up for debate.

Brandy didn't wait for their gears to finish turning. She absolutely should have taken the slower route and written the Bishop for consent. This made her situation infinitely worse. Without saying a word, Brandy turned on her heel and walked toward the exit. I'm going to leave now.

This was going to come back and bite them all in the ass. There wasn't a world in which this didn't come back to bite them in the ass. But, like a gambler placing down their rent money on a roulette table, Jessica waved away her concerns and considered it tomorrow's problem. Today, she was going to have fun.

She didn't set out this afternoon with entertainment in mind. The abbey had been suspiciously quiet for several hours and Jessica's nose for trouble started flaring. The little boogers that ran around these parts would hardly shut up until a brother or a sister threatened them with dire (if mostly imaginary) consequences, and the only reason peace and quiet returned was if one little miscreant went too far or they found someplace else to terrorize. Today was the latter.

Brandy came rushing into their rooms earlier, claiming a desperate need to escape, rambling about some sort of weird ritual taking place in the [Greenhouse]. Alastair asked no questions and led the ambitious healer out to the [Wololol] fields to go hunt some wolves. That left Jessica, Y'cennia, and Ellesea cooped up with nothing to do.

Each member of the team had registered Abbyton's brand-new Aetherstone, so technically, they could travel somewhere if they really wanted to, but going was a lot more expensive than coming. They were only hanging around for as long as they were because Meliastraza went and did something silly, and Alastair, being the voice of reason, suggested they be on hand to handle the inevitable fallout. Somehow, Jessica knew he wouldn't be too pleased with her decision on how to handle that, exactly.

Ever since the dragon-gnome came into their lives, Jessica had a newfound appreciation for crafters. First, she built those [Planters], then she built the [Moai Heads]. Jessica was beyond impressed when she saw the [Greenhouse]. This might have been the first real time where she consciously considered how a crafter might be more powerful than a fighter. Turning a building the size of a schoolhouse into an area large enough to house multiple forests was mind-boggling.

Already, the abbey had sent out a plea for assistance to the Bastion of Light, and a whole army of monks had shown up to work the fields and tend the trees. As soon as Meliastraza woke up, she was going to be so excited at the prospect of many tasty fruits. Though that probably depended on exactly when she woke up. At first, Jessica was afraid it might be another one hundred years, but one of the [Retainers] laughed, saying that the dragon was simply tired after using so much magic and needed to recover.

Jessica wasn't keenly attuned to sensing mana, but Ellesea was, and she trusted the [Mage] when she said she had no scale for what the dragon had done. Creating a brand new leyline? It sounded impossible to Jessica, but so did a tiny gnome turning into the [Destroyer of Worlds] and then settling down for a good nap.

The whole group of [Sunrise] had followed the [Retainer] as she placed Melia out in that clearing at the edge of the woods and watched her turn back into a dragon, and their fears were lessened slightly once the giant beast started snoring. Now they just had to figure out if they needed to be afraid of somebody discovering a sleeping dragon in the kingdom's backyard. And, as fate would have it, somebody did, and it only took a day.

The fact that it was one of the abbey's children was amusing, but Jessica didn't know if that made it better or worse. She was familiar with the runt who scampered off and wandered nearly a mile away from the abbey without any adult supervision. The poor kid seemed lost in his own little world of imagination sometimes, and there were even odds that he was going to grow up to be a brilliant artist, or it was simply going to get him killed.

If he'd run into anything other than Meliastraza napping in the woods, it would have been the end of him. Instead, Layalee had allowed him to wander right up and "touch the beast", which made him run back and brag to all his friends about how strong and brave he was. Of course, it also informed every adult in Abbyton that there was a, to quote the child, "Gigantic, terrifying dragon monster." Cue mass panic and uncertainty.

Thankfully, before any more [Couriers] could be sent out to contact Horizon for assistance, the matter of the little valley's immediate demise was settled. No, this dragon was not a monster, no matter how monstrous she might seem, and she wasn't going to eat everybody and set the world on fire. The first part, Jessica could see happen accidentally if people got too close to her mouth while she slept, but fortunately, one of her [Retainers] was standing guard at all times.

For everybody else's safety, obviously, as [Sunrise] knew. But the simple folk of Abbyton did not. Some of the local families decided it would be a good idea to take up arms and scare the beast away, which sounded absolutely absurd to Jessica, since none of them were higher than rank 3. What were they going to do with a bunch of torches and pitchforks? Those rusty old pokers could barely skewer hay, and what was a piddly little flame going to do against a creature immune to lava?

Tensions were high as a mob marched north, but they got stopped by the wall that was Layalee. The giant woman retrieved her battleaxe, slung it casually over her shoulder, and simply told the growing crowd that they needed to be quiet while her mistress slept. She didn't bother telling them they needed to leave. Jessica supposed that when one was a powerful servant to an even more powerful dragon, little things like peasant mobs were, at best, a slight nuisance.

That was until somebody in the crowd tossed their torch at Melia. Jessica watched it soar through the air and the whole world felt like it was moving in slow motion. She almost forgot to breathe as it arched slowly and clattered uselessly off the dragon's shiny scales. The whole clearing went deathly silent. As soon as it touched Melia, Layalee reacted. Jessica wasn't fast enough to catch the exact skill, but the [Retainer] quickly raised one foot high… and stomped it to the ground.

A shockwave erupted from the impact, snuffing out the torch and knocking everybody gathered onto their butts, stunned. Not even [Sunrise] was spared. Jessica was certain that more than one person in the crowd lost control of their bladder as almost every eye turned to the giant woman, seeing her as just as big a threat as the monster behind her. Which, in truth, was not a threat at all, but the mob didn't know that.

For her part, all Layalee did after that was dust off her shoulder, reiterate that her mistress needed to sleep, and any gathered observers were welcome to remain so long as they were quiet. Jessica blinked, comparing the shockwave from that stomp and the racket it created to bowl everybody over, and the fact that Meliastraza slept right through it. She was more than certain that nothing anybody in the crowd could do would be able to wake her up, but she didn't feel the need to point that out.

So the abbey returned to its peaceful ways for several hours, though a handful of townspeople felt the need to post a guard over Meliastraza, making sure the dragon didn't do anything funny if she did wake up. And that's when the children started showing up. Jessica didn't know how so many kids managed to escape whoever was supposed to be watching them, but that's why they weren't in the abbey, and things were so quiet. When they returned to Meliastraza's landing, they found out why.

The kids, inspired by little Jack's tale of heroism, all decided they needed to become the next dragon slayers. Translation: slaying a dragon meant climbing up its back so they could look down on the world, before sliding down one of the giant, leathery wings. The parents stationed at the perimeter looked like they were about to faint, but none of them were willing to set a foot past some invisible barrier to retrieve the wayward youth.

They kept glancing around, from the sleeping dragon- likely worried that it might wake up and go on a rampage -back to the abbey, as if expecting an army to show up and slay the beast. And then every once in a while, they'd spare a glance at the frankly terrifying [Retainer], who stood calmly without a care in the world, simply waiting for the day to drag on. So, at first, Jessica was stunned to see the comedy play out before her.

Parents scared witless, fearless children scaling the black mountain, and a bored maid. The parents, Jessica couldn't care less about. They were here of their own free will; they were more than welcome to go back to their jobs or homes, or wherever it was they milled around to catch up on idle gossip. But the kids… the more Jessica watched, the more vexed she got. Because they were doing it wrong! And somebody was going to hurt themselves!

She spared a glance at the terrified parents, making sure there wasn't anybody she knew or might be afraid to piss off, then walked up to Layalee. She craned her neck back to see the woman's face, who smiled gently down at her, and she threw her thumb over her shoulder at the dragon behind them.

"You gonna do anything about that?" Both the [Hunter] and the [Retainer] turned to watch a small child slide down a wing, whooping with glee.

"No."

"Aight," Jessica nodded. Now for the test.

"Mind if I do something about it?" The [Retainer] simply tilted her head. That wasn't a no, strictly speaking, so Jessica counted it as permission.

"Good chat," Jessica said, patting the huge woman on the bicep, before walking past her toward the line of kids all scrambling toward the dragon-slide. Half the kids were taking the long way, starting at the tail and following it all the way up Meliastraza's back until they reached a wing. But she had a huge tail, and that route was easily three to four times longer than it would have been compared to climbing the scales directly.

Jessica walked up to Melia's side just in time to pull a small boy off, right as he lost his grip and was about to fall.

"Look," Jessica said with her hands on her hips as soon as she set him down.

"You're gonna hurt yourself. How are you gonna slay the dragon when you slip and break your neck? Watch me. I'm a pro!" At this, the children hastily made a space and Jessica stepped up. She eyed the climbing lines along Melia's scales and mapped her way to victory. She set her initial grip: solid. Footing? Solid. Within moments, she was at the top, looking down at the stunned faces of children (and horrified parents), basking in the glory of their cheers.

Then, for good measure (and because it was fun as heck), she showed them how a real pro slid down. While standing. Of course, she told them not to copy her until they got on her level, and she ignored Y'cennia's subtle question to Ellesea about whether that was literal or figurative, since it would take the kids years before they hit rank 3.

Jessica spent the next several minutes coaching little rascals in the fine arts of Melia-climbing, which she was expecting to get a skill at any minute now, when Y'cennia muttered some fateful words.

"Wouldn't it be better if they didn't have to climb at all?" Jessica didn't know where Y'cennia was going with that or if she had a plan, but two shadows fell over Jessica, and she didn't get the chance to find out. Spooked at the sudden shade, Jessica turned, just in time to see Layalee and L'menia, who'd appeared out of nowhere.

"Oooh," L'menia purred, "The kitten's got a great idea! Lee, you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?!"

"Nobody ever knows what you're thinking."

"Hey! Actually, that's true. Even I don't sometimes! But that's beside the point. Wait here!" In a show of incredible Agility and Dexterity, the tigerkin bounced and hopped her way to the top of Meliastraza's head. She'd barely needed to find grips at all; it almost seemed like she was wall-jumping. And once she was on top, she slid down the neck, standing on a shoulder next to where a wing draped down. She made little grabby hands down toward Layalee.

"Toss me a munchkin!"

"What." Jessica barely had a second to spare for disbelief when Layalee suddenly bent down, plucked up a kid, and yeeted him into space.

"Ahahahawheeeeeee!" The kid flew through the air, yelling his lungs out, having the time of his life. The tigerkin caught him expertly, gently setting him down in the valley of a wing, and gave him a little push. The kid barely had a chance to catch his breath from all the screaming when he was back down on the ground, surrounded by envious peers. As one, the mob of munchkins all turned toward Layalee…and lifted their hands.

"Me! Do me!"

"No, I'm next, me!"

"I want a go!" Each one started yelling over the other, and suddenly, Jessica felt very old. Not because she was responsible, but she felt the years physically draining her as she watched something that definitely should never be possible. But the parents, despite their loud cries and protests, still would not budge. Probably because, deep down, they understood that the kids weren't in any real danger. Despite how it looked. Jessica spared them a glance… and realized… she didn't want to become one of them.

She waited, silently counting until every kid had at least a dozen trips down the slide. She subtly made her way back to Ellesea and Y'cennia, slowly inching them closer to the [Retainer] creating living projectiles.

"Ok, you're up next," she said out of nowhere, pushing Ellesea forward.

"What?!" the [Mage] barely had time to stutter as she staggered forward, looking incredibly shocked at this sudden betrayal. A large, powerful hand landed gently on her shoulder. Ellesea went silent, paling as she followed the hand up the arm. At the end, of course, was Layalee's calmly smiling face.

"Up you go."

"Wait, waitaminuteyoucan'tdothistomeeeeeeeeee!!" And suddenly, their [Mage] had achieved flight. Yes, Jessica nodded, there was going to be hell to pay. If not from angry parents, misguided adventurers looking to become Dragonslayers, or entrepreneurs searching for loot…then small angry [Mages]. And [Alchemists]. And, heck, the [Retainer] wasn't showing the slightest sign of getting tired, so it was finally her turn.