Chương 104: Chapter 101: Effective Disguise

As always, the most important question was: what do I get out of it?

At least, that was one of Jessica's driving motivations. Of course, she wasn't a complete ego-maniac, and she'd just as soon put aside her wants and needs if the situation called for it. But on the other hand… sometimes a girl had to be a little selfish. She hung out with a [Paladin] all day, for crying out loud. Somebody had to balance the scales. Also, the answer to that question wasn't always money. The value of the reward wasn't always measured by how much it lined Jessica's pockets or filled her piggy bank.

She wouldn't call herself altruistic, but sometimes doing good made her feel good, which was a reward in its own right. But never let Al hear her say that! So that was the main question. But there were several auxiliary questions she had to tack on that acted as multipliers. What are the risks? Are there any backups or contingencies? What happens if we fail? Jessica knew the success of any scheme truly lay in the margins. The risk versus the reward.

If she, say, broke her leg in the process of making a couple of silver, the cost of going to a healer to patch herself up would leave her in more debt than she started. On the flipside, if something was too good to be true, it probably was, and she'd need to dig deeper to give the scenario more consideration. Those were the questions. So what was the subject of all this debate? Stealing from the church. Now, that might sound a touch extreme, especially coming from a rugrat who loved the place dearly.

If that was on the tin, Jessica wouldn't buy it no matter how enticing the contents looked. So this was one of those situations that required the fabled Jessica-deductive-reasoning skills to really crack. And since Melia, of all people, was the one suggesting this great heist, there had to be some merit to it. Okay, so maybe Jessica was being a touch dramatic, but if any of the brothers got wind of what the gnome had planned, they'd try to burn her at the stake for heresy. Or was it blasphemy? Maybe sacrilege.

Jessica could never get those terms straight. But it wasn't like burning a dragon would do any good, and Jessica was certain the abbey didn't have a fire hot enough to make Melia sweat, let alone burn. So why was Jessica considering going along with Melia in her journey to apostasy? Because it was freakin' hilarious. This all started with [Celestara's Avocado] and Melia's desire to turn it into some sort of dip.

All of [Sunrise] had been present for the holy ceremony in which they sacrificed the golden avocado on the altar of piety… and Jessica would be lying if she said she wasn't shocked when it actually disappeared. She'd never been overly pious; she knew the gods existed, but… after watching the avocado go poof and receiving the divine blessing, she almost considered finding the Bishop and giving her vows to join the church. Almost.

Thank the gods she didn't, because then she would have missed Melia's calculating look that promised a whole world of mischief. And, technically, Jessica was the designated Foodie, so this was most definitely part of her job description. If the dragon wanted to fly off and eat giant cows? No problem. Golden avocados? Sign Jessica up. Which was part of why she needed to ask the question in the first place. What the heck was actually going to happen if they managed to eat one of [Celestara's Avocados]?

Were they going to get smitten by a lightning bolt from on high? Would they get a debuff? Would they be cursed? Jessica could imagine a whole host of reasons why this was actually a terrible idea. But at the same time… Meliastraza was the freaking [Destroyer of Worlds]. What could a god who couldn't manifest a corporeal form actually do to her? So Jessica caught Melia's eye, made one of those head motions where she flicked it casually to the side, saying, hey, meet me over there, while not actually saying anything.

The gnome rolled her huge, expressive eyes but obliged.

"So," Jessica whispered conspiratorially, "You're up to somethin'. I want in." The gnome glared at Jessica suspiciously, but the [Hunter] was unmoving. After several seconds, Melia's eyes reduced to slits and her grin spread from ear to ear.

"I'm gonna make guac. You in?" Jessica had no clue what guac was, but if that was what the legendary dip was called, she was all about trying new foods. She grinned right back.

"I'm in."

The interesting thing about Melia was that the gnome both was and was not the most stealthy person Jessica had ever known. On one hand, she knew [Stealth], so she could be literally [Stealthy]. She could disappear and nobody, not even the gods, could probably find her. But then she'd do weird crap like she was trying to pull right now, and Jessica almost thought Melia wanted to get caught.

The gnome had a million and one ways to disguise herself or avoid detection, and instead of using any of those, she started to concoct a harebrained scheme. Gnomes. Jessica would never understand them. For one, everything had to have an "operation name." Jessica could get behind this. You couldn't just waltz into Horizon and rob the bank; you needed to make plans and call it something fancy. Today was ground zero for "Operation: Fever Dream, code name G. I. A. E." It… needed some work.

The last part stood for Greenhouse Infiltration and Avocado Extraction. Jessica gave it a few points. And… again. Just to make it perfectly clear: Melia could have easily [Stealthed], entered the [Greenhouse] without anybody ever knowing, picked an avocado, and left. Nobody would ever know! They'd never be able to find out! Heck, if Melia really wanted to, she could probably have gone up to the Bishop and asked for an avocado. Jessica was at least 85% sure that he'd let her. Instead… she gnomed. Hard.

The plan was definitely not simple. It was just about as convoluted as a plan could get and still be called a plan. It involved distractions, multiple layers of disguises, and tomfoolery of the highest order. If Jessica was a sensible person, she'd have laughed the plan off as ludicrous. But as Melia began to unravel the first layers of her diabolical scheme, Jessica just about laughed her pants off. It was also the main reason she agreed.

"So, we're gonna need a distraction," Melia said. At this point, Jessica didn't feel like arguing, so she listened patiently.

"And what's the most distracting thing around these parts?" Melia continued.

"Kids!" Jessica could think of about a hundred things more distracting than children, but the gnome had a point. Jessica could also see her hook; how she managed to score something out of this.

"Fair," Jessica grinned.

"What are you going to have them do?"

"Hmmm," Melia frowned thoughtfully. Her eyes went huge and she snapped her fingers.

"I know! I'll pay them to drag the brothers away!" Not…exactly how Jessica would have done it, but she could see this being effective….

"You figure one silver per kid is enough to bribe them to cause a ruckus?" Jessica slapped her hand over her eyes.

"Melia, they'd probably do it for a few copper."

"Well, we don't want to under-pay," Melia mused.

"One silver it is." If Jessica didn't know how much money Melia had literally lying around in various places, she'd have called it wasteful.

"Okay," Jessica nodded, "You've paid the kids. Now what?"

"Eh?" Melia tilted her head. Jessica sighed.

"What are you actually paying them to do? They've got your money; great. Are you just gonna let them run off with it?" The gnome didn't look like she thought this out very well, but soon enough, she was hit by more inspiration.

"I've got it! We'll have them buy ice cream! Kids love ice cream!" As does everyone else in the world, Jessica thought, but she didn't say that out loud. She was waiting to see how this dumpster fire erupted.

"Oookay," Jessica mused.

"Now where in Abbyton are we going to find an ice cream vendor to rope into this? What, do you think this is Horizon or something?"

"Oh, that's easy," she waved her hand, as if she could pull a frozen treat out of her pants.

"I'll get one of my [Retainers] to set up a stall!" She then proceeded to pull a container of ice cream out of her pants. Jessica's eyes bulged… okay, so it came from Melia's inventory, but she looked like she stuck her hand in her pocket and screw this noise, Jessica was 100% on board if she got free ice cream out of it! Forget the kids, she'd create all the distractions in the world! And judging by how the bucket of [Chocolate Ice Cream] began to frost over in the summer heat, this had to be a Melia special.

But before Jessica could reach out and abscond with the goods, one of the huge [Retainers] materialized next to her, scared the crap out of her, and calmly bent down to lift the large tub out of the small gnome's hands. As if they were simply waiting around for the express purpose of opening an ice cream shop.

"Mistress, please allow me! I'll do it!" It was L'menia, the tigerkin. Did all catkin have a thing for ice cream? Jessica knew Y'cennia liked to splurge over a bowl every now and again. Melia simply thanked her and continued detailing the master plan.

"So we set up a stall over…by the [Moonwell]," Melia settled on.

"That way the brothers don't have far to go to chase the kids."

"Sure," Jessica nodded.

"But why are they chasing the kids in the first place? So far, all you've done is paid some kids to eat ice cream."

"Ah," Melia wilted, but quickly regained her composure.

"We'll make it so that the stall only sells to adults!"

"The stall," Jessica repeated, "That you just invented, and staffed with your own [Retainer], which in theory is used in a plan revolving around children…will only sell to adults."

"Thems the breaks," Melia sighed dramatically, as if there was no other outcome. Jessica was already in too deep, so she laughed.

"You know what? Sure. Why not? So you pay the kids, drag them over to the [Moonwell], show them ice cream they can't buy, and make them return with an adult so they can buy it. There's only one problem." That Jessica was willing to point out, at least.

"At the end of the day, these are kids we're talking about. That's an awfully complicated plan. You're going to need some assurance they stick to it."

"Right," Melia frowned. She glanced worriedly up at Jessica, fidgeted, and eventually broke down.

"So what do you suggest?" Oh ho ho! Jessica rubbed her hands together gleefully; she thought Melia would never ask!

"You got any more of those sandwiches?" Melia gasped and slammed a fist into her palm.

"[Nostalgia's Embrace]! Jessica! You're a genius!" Yup! That was her! Jessica Miller: [Super Genius].

"Oh, but that might not be enough," Melia frowned. Personally, Jessica thought it would be foolproof, but she supposed it was possible that one or two members of the abbey might remember what she looked like as a kid. Once again, Melia rooted through her inventory, cheering as she displayed another ridiculous item.

"What." Jessica stared at it in disbelief. The gnome was holding an enormous pair of dark-rimmed glasses…which seemed to be attached to a gigantic fake nose and a mustache. There was only one thing to do: [Inspect].

[Definitely Not Glasses] Level: 250 Rarity: Epic On use: become disguised. Lasts 60 minutes.

Hello, fellow kids.

Jessica stared in disbelief. Not only was it possibly the least effective disguise she'd ever seen, but it was probably only going to attract more attention! And yet… she'd been around Melia for long enough now to know she had an insane item for just about any circumstance. And on top of that, these… [Glasses] were epic rarity. They had to work. Melia reached up on her toes to pass the glasses over, and Jessica took them. They were huge: far too big to fit her face.

And yet, when she held them up to her head, they adjusted slightly so that they didn't instantly slip off.

"I feel like an absolute fool," Jessica muttered. The huge nose and mustache partially blocked her lower vision, and on top of that…what sort of kid had a mustache anyway? Would these actually have any benefit after she ate a sandwich? But when she looked down at Melia, the gnome was squinting up at her, like Jessica had seen fancy people do at galleries featuring…"art."

"Yes," Melia said seriously.

"I think this just might do it."

"You're joking," Jessica spat flatly. It was one thing to play along with a silly game and another to actually believe it. However, Melia shook her head. The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

"No, seriously. If I didn't just watch you put those on, I don't think I'd be able to tell it was you."

"You're pulling my tail," Jessica scoffed.

"Wanna bet?" Melia grinned. She spotted Alastair loitering around after mingling with some other holy people and waved him over.

"Melia?" He asked calmly.

"What's up?"

"Have you seen Jessica?" The gnome asked sweetly. She blinked her large, innocent eyes up at Al, and it was all Jessica could do not to laugh. Al spared her a very brief glance, nodded once, and instantly turned to do the same to the [Retainer]. His eyes held no trace of recognition. He quickly scanned the surroundings, going so far as to peer around a nearby support column.

"No," he answered seriously.

"Did you need her? I can try to hunt her down, if you'd like."

"Ah, no," Melia said.

"I was just thinking I might like to talk to her. I can always find her later, thanks." Al nodded amicably to each of them before heading off. Jessica was left speechless.

"I cannot believe that worked!" She hissed.

"But- oh crap! I've got a time limit! We've gotta move!"

"Right," Melia grinned and got to work. Of course, distracting the avocado guards was only half the plan. Even with the tree fully vulnerable, they still had to go in there and grab the fruit. While there had only been one giant avocado set aside for the ceremony, several others had begun to grow, and they needed to be watched over, too. Jessica had no idea how Melia planned to pull it off, and frankly, she was starting to feel ambivalent about the whole crazy plan and no longer cared whether it actually worked.

She took a sandwich from Melia and scurried away to a secluded corner so she could fulfill her role.

Y'cennia had to admit, she was feeling rather good. Her head was held high, her tail swished to the beat of some unheard song, and even the normally stuffy chapel-chatter warmed her heart. With the addition of the blessing, she was positively glowing. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Though it would make sense if she was. Leave it to Celestara, Goddess of Light, to include a real glow effect on one of her blessings.

Maybe it was because she felt so good, or maybe it had something to do with the luck effect with the buff, but she was also feeling daring. Normally, Y'cennia was a straight-laced kind of girl who'd never go down the dark alleys or visit the tally man. She knew what happened when product moved, when [Street Pharmacists] had too much supply and they needed to offload their bulk before things got too hot. How people spent a little bit up front for a good time, only to pay dearly for it later on down the road.

With interest. Drugs. She was talking about drugs. And as an [Alchemist]- formerly -, Y'cennia knew better than to get high on her own supply. Not that she actually had a supply. She was far too principled. So maybe, right now, she wasn't feeling bold so much as she was slipping into the cracks. She'd regret her decisions later; she knew she would… but right now, she couldn't help herself. After most of the crowd had dispersed from the ceremony, Y'cennia followed some of the brothers back to the [Greenhouse].

She needed to find a grower. Now that a community of halflings was starting to unpack and call the abbey home, there was bound to be a restructuring in the [Greenhouse] worker hierarchy. If the abbey knew what they were doing, and Y'cennia was pretty sure they did, they'd let those Little People do what they did best. And that meant raising crops. All sorts of crops. Halflings were famous for two things: potatoes and pipeleaf. Hopefully not together at the same time.

Y'cennia hadn't had many dealings with the Small Folk, but she could tell they knew their stuff. Sooner or later, somebody was going to start growing some bush or leaf, and before it got too far out of hand, Y'cennia needed to get in on the ground level. Inside the [Greenhouse], most of the brothers dispersed to their various stations or picked up where they previously left off. Even though it wasn't a traditional 9-to-5 job, it was work that needed to be done and, well, trees didn't sleep. …

as far as Y'cennia knew. She spotted a slightly shady-looking brother loitering by the [Greenhouse] controls and found her mark. She flicked her head left and right to get into the right mindset, schooled her ears into a nonchalant position, and tried to be aloof as she approached.

"Welcome," the brother said.

"Hey," Y'cennia tried playing it cool.

"So, lots of space in this [Greenhouse]." Smooth. The man quirked an eyebrow and slowly turned to the side, as if taking in the view that stretched forever.

"You might say that," she chuckled softly.

"Nice," Y'cennia said suavely. Time to cut to the chase.

"Are all the plots taken up? I mean, is there any space available?"

"I'd have to check, but there might be?"

"Perfect," Y'cennia said, lowering her voice. She leaned in closer and practically whispered.

"I'm looking for somebody to grow…some stuff."

"As…one does in a [Greenhouse], yes," the man gave her a peculiar look, but Y'cennia ignored it.

"Not your average stuff," Y'cennia shook her head, leaning closer. She was practically headbutting the guy, standing inches away, but she made a little circle with her finger, rotating between the guy and herself.

"I'm talking the good stuff. I figure, a place this big, there's got to be a tiny corner where nobody checks, right? And we all saw how that avocado turned out. Anything planted here practically turns to gold. I'm looking for somebody discreet, who knows how to keep it quiet and low down, you feel me?" The man stared at her for a long moment in disbelief.

"Lady, this is an abbey. What are you talking about?" Y'cennia's nerves got the better of her; her ears shot up and her tail went rigid.

"Look, I'm just trying to see if we can grow some nip! Is that so much to-""Wahahaha!" Y'cennia bolted upright and whipped around. Somehow, a child had snuck up on her, and they were pointing at her, laughing.

"You're a cat! Wanting catnip!" Y'cennia bristled and was about to lash out, describing all the ways Nepeta catara could benefit society! It had proven uses in healing as an herbal remedy and didn't deserve nearly the stigma it received! Just because some people couldn't control themselves and ignored regulations and best practices…! Y'cennia stopped dead. This was a very… weird child. It was a girl around 9 to 10 years old, but she had the oddest face of any child Y'cennia had ever seen.

The poor girl had an absolute unit of a schnoz and some really big glasses. Her vision must be atrocious. And yet, she looked vaguely familiar… but for the life of her, Y'cennia couldn't picture why. So, she fell back on the old, tried-and-true method of dealing with an unruly child. She knelt down and smiled in a sweet, disarming sort of way.

"Are you lost?" She asked.

"Do you need help finding your parents?"

"Nope!" The girl cheered, her little red pigtails bouncing left and right. Y'cennia was about to ask what she was doing in the [Greenhouse] when she noticed the girl had a whole host of children gathered behind her…looking mutinous.

"Ahhh," Y'cennia wilted. Where was Jessica when you needed her? She was so much better with kids! Fortunately, the strange child didn't seem to care about her lack of people skills.

"Cat Lady!" The girl proclaimed, pointing at her.

"Are you done trying to sway the morality of that poor brother over there?!" Y'cennia had absolutely no idea what the little gremlin was talking about. None whatsoever!

"I'm doing nothing of the sort!" She scoffed.

"Good!" The little brat gave her a cheeky grin.

"Then step aside! We need him!"

"Eh?" the brother mumbled, surprised.

"Yeah, you!" The girl said, marching fearlessly up to the man and tugging on his sleeve. Emboldened by the strange girl's forwardness, the mob of children each went up to another brother, tugging on them, until everyone in sight was surrounded.

"We need an adult!"

"Wait!" Y'cennia whipped her head around. Those were dangerous words!

"Are you hurt, little girl?!"

"Naw!" The girl laughed.

"But we want ice cream, and they won't sell to kids! They only sell to adults!" The girl reached into a pocket and pulled out a shiny silver coin; some of the other kids did so too. Y'cennia shot up straight. This was a travesty! It simply wouldn't do!

"Oh, you poor thing! Don't worry, we won't let a stingy shopkeep deny your hard-earned coin! Men! Let's go!" Unfortunately, if there was one thing more effective at dulling Y'cennia's sensibilities than catnip, it was ice cream. She didn't even consider why somebody would be selling ice cream in Abbyton, let alone a bizarre practice of excluding children from their sales if they had good money.

She watched the children hustle the adults out of the [Greenhouse] and followed along, stealthily checking her inventory for her [Coinpurse].

Ellesea was in a studious mood. Meaning, she wanted to study any and every piece of magical literature she could get her grubby little hands on. Sadly, she was at an abbey, a place not usually known for its robust deposits of magical lore. However … this was Abbyton, and due to Melia's shenanigans, there was something of a budding community of scientists and researchers flocking to the abbey like a magical pilgrimage.

Frustrated that she had to sit through an entire sermon (no matter how monumental or historic it might be), Ellesea tapped her foot impatiently and made a beeline for the door as soon as she could. Granted, she, too, got caught up in the uproar over receiving an actual blessing, but her amazement soon wore off. Technically, the buff Melia gave them after her first [Dance] was more powerful. Ellesea had seen bigger and badder before. The same could not be said for the [Scholars] manning the research station.

She may have weaseled her way outside, but when she finally reached the magical hut, it was locked. Of course, Ellesea couldn't blame them, knowing partially what was inside, and if she had a trove of magical knowledge she was hoarding like a dragon, she'd lock it away too. … Melia must be rubbing off on her. Dragons weren't supposed to hoard weird things, but the gnome proved otherwise.

Ellesea tugged futilely on the door one more time and gave up thinking about a career in breaking and entering almost immediately. Busting through magically reinforced walls sounded like a pain, and then she wouldn't even be able to study their enchantments because the walls would be broken. She made her way back inside, grumped around a bit and tried to get a few of the mingling [Scholars] to let her study their work, but it was all for naught.

They were too busy celebrating, and the few that weren't busy drinking wine and chatting up the brothers pointed out that she should study the blessing instead. So, she sat down and did not study the blessing, electing to bring out Melia's [Spellbook] page instead. She held the paper in shaking hands. This… was what gave Ellesea her evolved class. Yes, there was probably more she could glean from its tiny writing, even though she wasn't really qualified to read most of it yet.

The words were far too small and half of them didn't make sense. Either Melia used multiple languages in her notes, or Ellesea simply needed a deeper education. She wasn't allowed to brood for long, though, as a tall, elegant figure approached.

"Elsie, there you are."

"Eluna!" The [Arcanist] smiled. It was strange being on such comfortable terms with the [Saint], but she was slowly getting used to it.

"Were you looking for me?"

"Not for long," the high elf laughed in her musical voice.

"But I'm glad I've found you now." It was almost enchanting; Ellesea wondered what magic the [Saint] could sing if she took up work as an opera singer. And yet, as with every time Eluna Brandywine opened her mouth, there was a faint sense of…disconnect. As if the person herself did not match the image. Not at all. But Ellesea was learning that the "Image of the [Saint]" wasn't something Eluna ever wanted or wished for. Ellesea tried not to let her reverence get the better of her.

"That little ankle biter is up to no good; I can feel it," Eluna grumbled through narrowed eyes. Now that Ellesea had her new class, she could actually see some of the magic that made it look like a high elf's eyes were blind, and she was desperate to study them. Perhaps Brandy would let her some time.

"Er, when you say 'ankle biter'," Ellesea began hesitantly.

"Do you perhaps mean…?"

"Melia?" Eluna scoffed.

"Who else?"

"What's she done this time?" Ellesea sighed. She was resigned to getting roped into another adventure…and she could barely hide the playful smile that crept onto her lips. It was long since time to admit it: the team had grown on her. Ellesea didn't think she could go back to a life of sitting inside a dusty classroom. Perhaps, maybe, she wouldn't have chosen a life quite as hectic as hers had been in the last month, but she was growing some resistance.

"I'm not sure," Eluna frowned.

"And that's what worries me." Ellesea watched the high elf's ears twitch sharply. They weren't as articulate as a beastkin's, but they were incredibly sensitive. Ellesea wondered what she was listening to.

"You know her well, don't you?" Ellesea asked. It was something she picked up instantly. The gnome and the elf almost seemed like sisters.

"Since we were kids!" Eluna laughed, her voice tinkling melodically.

"Don't let her innocent looks fool you; she can be quite crafty when she wants to be!"

"So…what do you think she's planning now?" Ellesea asked. She was torn. Half of her almost wanted it to be another miracle like the [Greenhouse] or the [Moonwell], but she didn't think the abbey could take any more surprises right now.

"It could be anything," Eluna mused.

"She has so many classes, it's imp- wait. She's here."

"How can you tell?" Ellsea gasped, standing up. Eluna gave her a wry smile and tapped her ears. Ah, she should have known. The [Saint] led Ellesea across the chapel to the main doors. There, Melia was trying to smuggle in a large egg-shaped bundle wrapped in a towel. Behind her, Jessica looked rather windswept, and Y'cennia wore a weird mixture of annoyance and bliss. Somehow, she'd found some ice cream and was savoring it.

Ellesea dearly wanted to know where it came from, but, oddly, mysterious ice cream was low on the surprise factor right now.

"Ooh, Elsie," Melia cooed, pointing her large purple eyes up at her.

"You're here! Wanna help me with an experiment?" An experiment? Ah, the gnome had some taste, after all. Clearly, she'd come to the right person.

"What manner of experiment are we running?" Ellesea asked smoothly.

"What are the parameters, what is the goal?"

"To see if we're about to get smoted by an angry god," Jessica cackled. Ellesea froze and slowly turned to face the [Hunter].

"... what?"

"Relax," Melia giggled.

"Nobody's smiting anybody. And besides," she added, looking up at Eluna, "If Celestara gets angry, just tell her she can have half." Eluna's face darkened and Ellesea distinctly didn't hear her mutter something about being over this shit under her breath. The pendant draped around the elf's neck glowed and Eluna adopted a resigned look. Then she shrugged and perked up.

"That means food, right?" She asked the gnome.

"You're cooking something?"

"Yup!" Melia crowed.

"With this!" She unwrapped the bundle and Ellesea wanted to faint. It was one of these divine avocados. Oh, they totally were about to get smitten, weren't they? Against her better judgment, she followed the group back into the chapel. When Ellesea asked why they weren't headed for the kitchens, the answer was simple. They were using [Celestara's Avocado]; therefore, it needed to take place in Celestara's presence. Melia hopped up onto the altar and began taking out ingredients.

Several concerned-looking brothers approached, but Alastair, being the good tank that he was, noticed from where he was resting across the hall and headed them off. Ellesea didn't want to think about what would happen when the rest of the clergy found out, so she focused on the gnome. Y'cennia, with her new class, was also deeply interested. Melia brought out ingredients. A whole slew of ingredients, half of which Ellesea had never seen before.

Granted, she was a noble and had barely stepped foot inside a kitchen, but the point remained. She brought out tools. A cutting board. Knives. A tiny little silver mallet that looked good for mashing small things. A mortar and pestle… though Ellesea didn't know if it was called something different for [Cooking]. Bowls. Big ones, small ones. And finally… the avocado itself. Melia sliced it open and Ellesea felt faint. That was a holy artifact…

Melia retrieved some small crackers called [Tortilla Chips] out of her inventory and speared some of the golden avocado. She sprinkled it with a touch of salt and tossed it into her mouth. Her smile was enormous. She quickly repeated the process and handed a chip to each of her friends. … it was a gloriously tasty holy artifact. Ellesea had no idea what the gnome was doing to the avocado, or even which ethnic group ate such food.

She guessed it might be somewhere in the south, perhaps the beastkin lands, but if it was, it wasn't something Y'cennia was familiar with. Not with how her eyes sparkled and her mouth watered. Ellesea stealthily handed her a handkerchief. Ingredients were chopped, diced, and dashed. The avocado was mushed. It all went into the bowl. And strangely, to Ellesea at least, who was used to [Cooking] requiring heat… it was done. Melia smiled at her creation, assured that the goddess would be pleased.

But even as the [Saint] subtly reached forward to dip a chip into the goop, Melia swatted her hand away.

"Nuh uh. Get the Bishop first." Alastair went sprinting away while the rest of the team waited impatiently. What sort of torture was this? Being forced to watch a world-class [Chef] whip up a culinary masterpiece, only to be denied a taste…. But the first sampling, as was right, went to the Bishop. He trotted up, huffing and puffing, looking confused and mildly worried. First, his eyes landed on the bowl of golden dip and his eyes widened.

But as he noticed the [Saint] and Melia both standing there, he was reassured.

"Your Excellency, have a taste," Melia said.

"This is called guacamole, and you eat it by dipping [Tortilla Chips]."

"Goes great with a lime marg," Eluna muttered, but she studied the Bishop and corrected herself.

"Or, if you've got a nice white wine lying around, that works too." The Bishop only hesitated for a moment. He popped the chip into his mouth. His eyes closed rapturously, and Ellesea feared he might have ascended. But when he opened his eyes, they were full of light. … perhaps a bit too literally. Not only were his eyes glowing softly like a well-shielded lamp, but a white halo had manifested above his head.

Behind him, a tiny set of flame-like white wings blazed as they fluttered, and his whole body seemed to give off a faint radiance. Everybody turned to [Inspect] the dish.

[Holy Guacamole] Level: 300 Rarity: Divine Created By: Melia the Magnificent On consumption: gain 4% total stats and 5 luck for the next 4 hours. On consumption: gain [Angelic]. Lasts 30 minutes Great for parties, appetizers, ball games, and the occasional sermon teaser.

The Bishop blinked, the light cutting in and out, and he poked the donut above his head. For a moment he seemed frozen with indecision…but he shrugged, causing the wings to flutter, and he reached for another dip.

"Fitting," he said, tossing it into his mouth with a satisfying crunch. Behind them, Ellesea could swear the statue of Celestara moved, but when she looked, it was as still as the stone it had always been. But…exactly half of the dip was gone. Nobody was getting smited today.