Chương 26

After dessert, the servers brought coffee and tea. The talk changed with it. People stopped dinner chats and began working. Harvey kept Constantine, Philip, and David at the table with a half-finished sentence about Gulf shipping. An aide had already unfolded a map beside the coffee service. Nova led Judith and Maria toward the inner salon. Jessamine followed. A protocol officer appeared at the edge of the room. He leaned toward Serana and spoke briefly. She nodded once, stood, and followed him toward the exit.

Jacques went with her. Gladice stood.

"Angel. Louis." She looked from Angelique to Louis.

"It's been a pleasure today. I'm sure we'll find time to get to know each other better tomorrow." She extended her hand toward Louis. Louis waited a beat before taking it. She held his fingers and pressed her thumb into the center of his palm. She smiled.

"Good night." She let go, glanced once at Angelique, and followed the aide into the hall. When Gladice was gone, Angelique turned to Louis. She looked him over. Her voice was lower now.

"Come with me." Louis followed. She led him through the salon and out onto a small terrace above the east gardens. The night air was warm and dry. Angelique closed the door behind them. Then she turned to face him. Louis stood there with his hands at his sides and nowhere to look. Angelique looked at him.

"Do you have any idea how ridiculous you looked tonight?" Louis swallowed and did not look away.

"Probably."

"No." She shook her head once.

"You don't. Because if you did, you wouldn't have let her treat you like a pet."

"I didn't have a choice. She would have made it worse if I refused."

"She's making it worse anyway," Angelique said.

"By letting her, you're giving her permission to humiliate you in front of everyone. Including me." She said the last words harder.

"Did you enjoy that?"

"Of course not."

"Then why did you do it?"

"Because I lost the bet!" He glared at her. Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

"So what?" she snapped.

"You think being obedient will save you from her? She doesn't want your obedience. She wants to watch you bend."

"And you don't?" he said.

"You were playing too."

"Of course I was." She crossed her arms.

"The difference is I know when to stop. You don't. You let her put her hands on you, make you do things—" She stopped and looked away.

"I saw your face when you came back. You looked... ruined." Her voice lowered.

"And I don't like it." Louis's fingers curled once at his side.

"What do you want me to do, Angelique? Walk out?"

"Yes," she said.

"If she makes you do something you don't want to do, you say no. You leave."

"Easy for you to say."

"Why? Because I have some pride left?" She took a step toward him.

"Or because I'm not so desperate to please her that I'll let her use me like a toy?" Louis raised his voice.

"She was trying to blackmail me! If I'd refused, she would have told everyone about us." Angelique was quiet for a second. When she spoke again, her voice was lower.

"No, she would have told a version of it. That is not the same thing." She shook her head.

"What happened between us is not hers to define, and you do not get to protect me by letting her put you on a leash." Louis's voice hardened.

"And what would you have done? If you were in my place?"

"I would have said no," she said.

"And if she tried to make an issue of it, I would have made sure she regretted it."

"How?"

"By not caring what she said." She raised her voice.

"You think she has power over you because she knows a secret. But secrets only have power when you act as if they're shameful. You act ashamed, and she uses it. Stop acting ashamed." Louis looked toward the garden.

"You weren't exactly proud yourself earlier. After we... you didn't even look at me." She flinched slightly.

"That was different."

"How?"

"Because I needed time." She turned toward the garden too.

"Because I hated you for a little while, and I didn't want everyone to see that either." Louis's mouth opened, then closed again.

"You hated me?"

"I hated what we did. How it made us lose control. How easy it was. And then I hated her for seeing it and using it." She looked down.

"And then I hated you for letting her." He took a step toward her.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," she said.

"Be stronger. You're not some… plaything for her to amuse herself with. You're better than that."

"I'm trying."

"Try harder." She looked at him, then turned away.

"You should go to bed. We have another long day tomorrow." Louis stayed where he was. Sweat cooled at his temples. Angelique kept her back to him. His hand lifted a few inches, then stopped.

"Angelique." She didn't turn.

"What."

"I'm sorry I made you hate me." She did not answer at once. Then she turned back and looked at him.

"You didn't," she said.

"I'm just... tired of everyone playing games with each other. Including us." Angelique walked back to the door, opened it, and stepped inside. Louis stayed on the terrace and looked out at the garden. The place beside him was empty now. The night air cooled the sweat on his skin. It did nothing for the rest of him. When he finally went inside, the corridors were nearly empty. His room was dark except for the lamp left burning beside the bed. He closed the door and stood with one hand still on the latch.

In the mirror across the room, his face was still red. He lay back without undressing. The mattress gave under his weight, too soft after everything happened today. He tried to hold one thought at a time. None of them stayed separate. Shame kept tangling itself with desire. He turned onto one side and pressed the heel of his hand against his eyes. Then he let his hand fall away and kept staring into the dark until sleep finally came.