Chương 90: Book 3; Chapter 89; I grew up!

The town was small but busy, with lots of travellers buzzing in and out, which promised a good chance to have a ride. No wonder it was busy – a wide and firm bridge over the river offered an easy crossing to the other side, which was close to impossible to cross before. Even the canyon lost its height here and wasn't either so deep or wide. But before crossing that bridge, Rainee wanted to go to the market and showed Blake into the clothing shop.

"You will have to choose new clothes for yourself," she said after walking in.

"Me?" Blake was surprised.

"Why would I need new clothes?" He looked at himself thinking that, yes, he was a little bit dirty, but not overly too bad.

"Wouldn't new clothes get the same dirty before reaching home? And what would I do with these that I am wearing right now?"

"These will have to go to the bin," Rainee said, "unless you have someone smaller than you who would like to wear them."

"Your sister is right," the store owner said, "you definitely need a new outfit as this set you have outgrown a long time ago. You must like it very much to keep wearing it." Blake was about to say that Rainee was not his sister, but after hearing the rest of what was said, turned around and ran to the mirror. What he saw surprised him but also made him happy.

"I grew up!" he exclaimed while still looking at himself with disbelief. He was right. The trousers and jumper that a few days ago were even slightly too big for him, now were a few inches short. Also, just now he realised that the shirt also was really tight over his shoulders.

"I really grew up…" he said again, this time with more disbelief than joy in his voice.

"Yes, you did," Rainee confirmed, coming closer and standing next to him.

"That's why you need new clothes. I doubt you will have a suitable set for yourself at home, so it would be good to change here, where all you need is available. Didn't you notice?"

"No," Blake confirmed, "I didn't notice. Did you?"

"It is difficult not to notice," Rainee laughed, looking at him in the mirror. She was right, it was difficult not to notice bare ankles sticking out of too short trousers. Also, the difference in height between them wasn't that great any longer. After recovering from the first shock, joy returned to Blake's face and he got into the task of choosing a new outfit with eagerness. He strictly refused any help from the store owner, as she was finding him very cute and was offering sweet and childish clothes.

But Blake said no. He said that he was an adult now so he had to dress as an adult, by saying so he brought a lot of laughter from the store owner and Rainee, but no one argued with him any longer and he was left to choose to his own liking. He got stuck only with the coat. In theory he didn't need a coat now as it was still just the beginning of autumn and it wasn't that cold, but still he chose to have one and got stuck on the colour. So he turned to Rainee for advice, showing her green and blue.

"I would choose black," she said, dismissing both options, "it would complement your eyes," she added.

"My mum says that black makes me look pale," Blake said, not being sure about this advice. Rainee didn't answer as it wasn't a question so she had nothing to say to it.

"And also there is no black coat," Blake added, looking around. After hearing that, Rainee walked to the other side of the shop, to the adult section, and brought back a black leather jacket with fur lining.

"You don't need a coat," she said.

"It is really not that cold yet and you will have a hard time carrying it back home on such warm days. Even after you bring it home, do you really feel so cold in the winter time that you need a thick coat? Or is it your mum who thinks that you need one?" Blake didn't answer to it. Rainee was right, it was his mum who insisted on him being wrapped up.

"But this one is too big," he pointed out, looking at the jacket in Rainee's arms.

"Not if you make some adjustments," Rainee said, helping him to put it on, "also, if you will be growing as fast as now, you will outgrow anything smaller before winter ends." She rolled his sleeves and adjusted a few straps and sure, the jacket didn't look so big anymore. Fur on rolled sleeves matched fur on the collar and one would think that it was made intentionally like this. Blake looked really smart in this jacket, and the black colour truly suited him very nicely.

His black, shiny eyes were looking even brighter, leaving the store owner sighing in adoration.

"I am definitely taking this one," Blake said firmly, looking at himself in the mirror, "in fact I am not taking it off."

"I thought you might say it," Rainee laughed, "but it is okay as it will not toast you as much as that other coat would have. I think it is very useful – can be used on cool summer days and also in the winter. Light and relatively warm." Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

After leaving the store, Rainee wanted to go straight to the other side of the river, but Blake disagreed so they had to stop for a second breakfast, as he said "while there was something edible around" and also get some food supplies for travelling. It made Rainee smile, but she didn't argue and let him be in charge. Getting a ride proved to be a more difficult task than the children were expecting. Not because there were not enough passing carriages and chariots, or that people would be unfriendly.

Many did stop and offer a lift, but after realising that Deamon would be coming together, offers were quickly withdrawn. And not because Deamon would misbehave. He just somehow had become... scary. Why? It was difficult to say why. In the past three days he also had grown considerably and by now lost all that little cuteness of the puppy that he had before. If no one before thought him being cute, then now, looking back everyone would say that he was. People were simply afraid of him in such close proximity.

After many unsuccessful attempts, Blake stopped to have a better look at Deamon.

"What is going on with you? Why are you doing it?" he asked in a stern voice, "what is wrong with you? Can't you look a bit friendlier? You are scaring people."

"No, he is not," Rainee interrupted him even in a more strict voice than Blake was speaking.

"It is you who doesn't understand what you are doing."

"What am I doing?" Blake didn't understand.

"You are harming your dog in the very same way as you yourself were harmed."

"How?"

"By telling him that what others want to see in him is more important than who he truly is."

"I don't understand you," Blake said honestly.

"He is scaring people. Nobody wants to take us in."

"No, he is not scaring people. How is it him scaring anyone? He hasn't done anything, nor has he misbehaved in any way."

"But everyone is refusing to give us a ride just because they are afraid of Deamon. Isn't that true?"

"Of course it is true," Rainee couldn't deny it.

"But how does it have anything to do with Deamon?"

"Because if he weren't with us, we would already be riding long time ago!"

"That is true too. But do you want to leave him behind just to have a ride? If that's what you want, we can do it. I am sure he will find a way home by himself."

"No!" Blake shook his hands in front of him.

"I don't want it! I don't want it! Why would I want to upset him like this?"

"Then why don't you mind upsetting him in another way? Why is it him who has to change to make others less afraid when this fear has nothing to do with him? How is it him scaring anyone? I have never seen such a well-mannered dog in my life. If you know it, then why do you insist that he has to change to make others less afraid? It makes no sense. If people are afraid when Deamon does nothing to scare them, then it is they who have to change, not Deamon. How do you expect him to change?

Don't you like him the way he is?"

"I like him very much the way he is."

"Are you afraid of him?"

"No, I am not afraid. I think he looks very cool," Blake said again while looking at Deamon with a smile.

"Then why do you want him to change to suit others?"

"I don't know what I was thinking," Blake said openly whilst hugging Deamon's neck in apology.

"But still, how are we going to get a ride if Deamon will not change and people are afraid of him?"

"We will not. We will walk."

"But it would be much easier for us to have a ride..."

"For you, maybe. But not for Deamon and not for people who are afraid of him. Why does someone else have to change just to make your life easier? Isn't that what your mum did to you? Asked you to change so her life would be easier. Did it work? I will tell you that it didn't," Rainee added, seeing that Blake was clueless about what she was talking about.

"She wanted you to stay little so you wouldn't leave her side, now she is looking for doctors to make you grow. She wanted you to behave in a way she thought was good, because she was afraid that if you were different people would not like you, but it didn't work as you still don't have any friends and it is not even possible for you to have friends as people don't know who you are as you are constantly trying to be someone that you are not.

It is difficult to be different from what you truly are, that's why you don't like to be with people. She wanted to keep you at her side all the time to make you happy, but the only time you are truly happy is when you are away with Deamon, doing what you want, not what your mum wants. She tried to keep you at her side, keep you for herself, so she wouldn't lose you. But did it work? And no, it didn't work not because you nearly fell and she nearly lost you.

She lost you a long time ago when you stopped doing what you want, in other words stopped being yourself. And she doesn't even see or understand it, despite that she is supposed to be the closest person to you, when you sacrificed so much by trying to make her happy... I don't understand this kind of love. I don't see any love in it, just neediness. When someone is praising and approving what they want to see in another, making them think that this is what love is. How could it be love?

When you love someone, you give your love to them as they are, not tell them to change, and if they do, then you love them, and if they don't, then you get upset that your expectations were not met... Why would someone even expect something from others? Why do you expect others to change so it would be more convenient for you? Well, I understand why - you have been taught that this is how people who like each other do, and you changed yourself so much to satisfy this need.

But still my question remains the same, why do you expect others to change so you could live easier? It is your life, so why do others have to change for it to get better? Do you think it will ever work? Wouldn't it put us in a truly sorry state that for us to live better others would have to change?" Blake didn't reply to it but kept walking in silence. One would think that he got upset after this harsh talk, but in reality he was just deep in his thoughts.

He would just stroke Deamon from time to time, who was always walking next to him. While he was walking like this, a cart stopped by and the driver offered them a ride.

"No," Blake refused the offer, "my dog is very big and people think he is a bit scary. I don't want you to be afraid of him." The driver looked at this large dog with red eyes next to the boy and it was obvious that the thought of this dog getting in his cart wasn't very appealing.

"Why don't you kids get in the very back and your dog then can run behind," he suggested after a good thought.

"What if he gets tired?" Blake wasn't convinced by this offer.

"If he gets tired then you can get him in, as long as he doesn't come to the front," the driver said after a short hesitation, "but he is a large and fit dog, there is no reason for him to get tired as my horse is not that fast either." Blake's mood was uplifted a good deal after hearing that and he looked at Rainee for advice.

"We can try," Rainee suggested by that bringing an even bigger smile to Blake's face. Deamon proved to be a very good runner and to keep up with the trotting horse didn't bring him any challenge. Rainee and Blake were sitting at the very end of the cart with their legs hanging down. They didn't talk as both were deep in their thoughts. Nearly an hour passed until Blake finally spoke.

"Thank you for telling this to me," he said, not knowing how to better express himself.

"Thank you for hearing what I said," Rainee replied.

"Not many do," she added after a short pause.

"What will you do after we reach my home?"

"I think I will go home too."

"How? You let your horse go?"

"She will find me. It never was a problem. And besides, you already know that to travel you don't need a horse."

"I like walking," Blake said again after a short silence.

"Me too," Rainee agreed.

"Then why are we in this cart?"

"I don't know," Rainee chuckled to this question.

"I thought that after bringing me home you would go travelling again and was going to ask you to take me with you," Blake said.

"Your mum will not agree."

"I know," Blake couldn't argue with it.

"But still, I might want to go on my own…" There was silence again.

"If we both are going home, maybe we could travel together for a bit longer now, while we can?" Blake suggested.

"If we both like walking then maybe we could simply walk?"

"I don't mind," Rainee smiled back.

"Then how will we do it?"

"That's very easy," Rainee said, jumping down from the cart and pulling Blake together with her. The driver felt this little stirring at the back and looked with fright over his shoulder, thinking that this scary dog got tired of running and jumped into his cart, and was surprised to see that it was his companions that left.

"Thank you for the ride," the children shouted to him while waving hands, "but we will walk from there." The driver stopped his horse anyway as he knew that there were no nearby towns around but by the time he stopped and looked back, the children and their scary dog were gone from the road under the shade of the trees. It did take them two and a half days of travelling until they reached the village where Blake was living.

They didn't manage to get to it on foot, as the last part of the journey they did in a carriage. They were hijacked by Blake's neighbour, who was originally travelling in the opposite direction, but upon seeing and recognising Blake turned around and would not listen to any refusal, neither about how they want to walk, nor how scary Deamon is. Apparently the whole village was looking for Blake for the past few days and by now, after conducting a search through all the area, with sorrow they pronounced him dead.

So after finding him walking on the road, the man would not listen to any excuse and after getting both children and the dog into his carriage, set the horse to the gallop until they had reached Blake's home.