Chương 42: Part 42 - Answers

Kings often dwell on subversion, although mostly of a different sort than what I find myself contemplating on quiet evenings. For subversion of the self, the issue is the degree of change one is willing to accept from a single source. The inevitable minor changes from life go mostly unnoticed, the gentle wearing of waves on rock or wind on a crag. Major change may be a tragedy, a friendship, a marriage. Many a man has been dragged to a new course by a determined wife or comrade, but do we term this subversion?

Only in grumbled jests from the man's abandoned drinking partners. Should I consider myself compromised by the touch on my soul? I submit that its extraordinary nature does not lend it any particularly sinister aspect. I am not even the more malleable of our pair. Our conversations draw and redraw the mark upon me with every passing day, and were there eyes to see none would spy the companion who left with me for Sjatel in my dreams of late.

- Excerpt from the collected letters of Goresje Di Sazhocel Selyta, Royal Archives, Ce Raedhil.

"I think we have an agreement in principle," Arjun said, leaning back to massage his brow. Vumo smiled back faintly.

"It would appear so," he said.

"Supplies and noninterference in exchange for your assistance in preparing our defenses."

"Where we come from, there's a saying that the, ah - evil is in the details, shall we say," Arjun replied.

"I expect we're envisioning two entirely separate arrangements at the moment." The scriptsmith chuckled softly and rubbed a hand over his bald head, looking around the table at the others.

"I shall have to remember that one for the next session of the ministerium," he said.

"Very well, let us revisit some of the items in detail. Did you have a starting point in mind?"

"There's only one place to start," Mark said, looking at Vumo with a dark expression.

"And that's with the Aesvain." Vumo frowned.

"They stay here, of course. I had no plans to disclose their presence to the garrison abbey, with any question of future disposition to be settled after the threat from Asu Saqarid is dealt with. As long as they offer no threat to us and remain concealed from the garrison abbey, I am content with the current state of things."

"We've got some objections, for our part," Jyte retorted.

"We want safe refuge here for the Aesvain."

"I believe that's what I just said," Vumo replied dryly. Jyte stabbed his finger down on the table, glaring at Vumo.

"All of us," he said. Vumo looked puzzled for a moment, then his eyes widened.

"Impossible," he protested.

"Keeping you here is one thing, but moving all of the rest - even forgetting the supplies and manpower needed, they are in no condition-" He blanched and bit back the rest of his sentence, managing to look slightly abashed. Jyte's glower deepened, dripping with contempt.

"The fact that they're in no condition to travel," Jackie said softly, "is exactly why transferring them here is non-negotiable."

"I understand your position," Vumo said frustratedly, "but there is simply no way to move them. Most of the Aesvain are near Idran Saal, and thanks to you we have no keystone to activate the gateway frame we've constructed there. Bringing them overland would kill them, and even if they could be brought here there is no way to ascend the summit without alerting Draatyn Asidram." He sighed and gestured helplessly.

"I can route food and medicine to them, improve their quarters, perhaps even discuss relocating them farther from the front given time. Realistically, however, I cannot promise more than that, not without damaging our defense of Idran Saal." There was a moment of stony silence before Mark rapped his knuckles on the table.

"And what if you had a gateway in Idran Saal?" he asked. Vumo raised his eyebrow.

"That would require a keystone," he said.

"We currently possess three, which are in active use in Utine, Ce Raedhil and Setimen. All three are vital cities, our war preparations rely on each of those gateways being in operation. The only keystone we could spare is the one you left in Sjatel." He spread his hands wide.

"If you were to grant us use of your keystone we would be immensely and materially grateful, but somehow I doubt that was what you had in mind."

"Ours is off the table," Mark confirmed.

"But for reasons I don't feel like sharing with you, we already had plans to visit Idhytse."

"Idhytse," Vumo muttered, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"We had never attempted operations there, it was too far afield when we had Sjatel practically within our borders. You believe there's a functional gateway there?" Jesse nodded.

"We have reason to think so," he confirmed.

"Even so," Vumo said, "the distance is prohibitive. I presume you had to leave your chariot back in Sjatel?"

"We did," Mark said with a grimace.

"No way to fit it through the gateway."

"No, I imagine not," Vumo chuckled.

"Unfortunately, that means that there is no good way for you to get back to our lands from Idhytse if you disable the gateway. By land or sea, it would require that you reach Utine, transit via the gateway there to Ce Raedhil, then proceed from the capital to Idran Saal."

"So send a chariot to pick us up," Jackie suggested.

"You guys have some, right?" Vumo stared at her.

"That would be difficult," he said slowly.

"There are a handful of functional chariots in Tinem Sjocel, but they are not all equally capable. You've traveled that stretch of land before, so you know that the terrain is rough and the distance considerable." He shook his head.

"None of the ones owned by the scriptsmiths could make that journey." Arjun squinted at him.

"But there is one that could," he guessed.

"Belonging to Citsuje Di," Vumo sighed.

"But obtaining use of a chariot owned by the king would be-""Difficult?" Mark said snidely.

"Awkward," Vumo replied, giving him a cool look.

"It would require disclosing things to the royalist faction that they do not currently know."

"You, keeping secrets?" Mark snorted.

"I'd like to say I'm shocked, but…"

"You may make light of it if you wish," Vumo said patiently, "but I believe you have seen by now that sometimes knowledge is dangerous. The scriptsmiths consider carefully what we share with others, and what the implications of spreading that knowledge may be. The royalists are less mindful in that regard, so we may expect that anything we tell them will spread to all interested parties in short order." Arjun frowned, running a hand through his wispy hair.

"You think they'll leak word of the Aesvain's presence here?" he said.

"Is it necessary to disclose that to obtain the chariot?" Vumo shook his head, suddenly looking very tired.

"They would certainly spread that news if they knew, but I don't believe it will be necessary to disclose it," he sighed.

"No, I was referring to the state of the impending conflict with Asu Saqarid. I told you when I arrived: we cannot risk disorder in this crucial time. It is imperative that our preparations are calm and orderly, undisturbed by the infighting that panic would bring." He hesitated, seeming to be on the brink of speaking further before shaking his head and looking down at the table. Arjun stared at him.

"They don't know," he said softly.

"You've let them think that you have all the answers, that this is some manageable border skirmish. They have no idea how serious the threat is." Vumo looked up and met his eyes, giving him a small half-smile.

"I am the expert on the silent ones," he said bitterly.

"I am one of the few remaining who has fought them in the past, and the head of the scriptsmiths besides. If I cannot repel this threat, then who among the Sjocelym could?" He laughed again, dull and quiet.

"As I said before, we are not without our resources. It may be that addressing this threat is well within our capabilities, but to say that it is certain we could repel it-" He broke off, then shook his head.

"No, not certain at all, although the thought has not yet entered their heads. Scriptsmiths' business is handled by scriptsmiths, after all!" The smile died from his face.

"Asking for the chariot would be unprecedented, and if I do the royalists will begin to suspect that the threat may be without precedent as well. They will not know, but the seed of fear is enough. Some will move to protect themselves, selfishly and blindly, and in so doing they will expose others to their fear."

"Fear is a disease," he said.

"One that spreads through expressions and furtive glances, one man's hurried pace or hunted eyes. Release it and we will shortly be forced to fight this war on two fronts, holding ourselves together with one hand while our other pushes back the enemy. I have no doubts about that fight's outcome." Arjun opened his mouth to reply, but before he could speak Mark stood from the table and walked around to sit directly beside Vumo.

The smaller man looked up at him curiously, and when Mark spoke his voice was barely audible to the others.

"Let me tell you how it is," he murmured.

"You keep saying it's going to take everything you have to win, but you're already closing off options because you think you can salvage this. You still think that you can handle this without looking like a dumbass in front of the king." Mark grinned.

"But you're fucked. We're all fucked. Maybe, if we work really hard, we might be able to get to a point where we can put a plan together. Right now we can't even estimate how bad it is. We need intel, we need resources, and we need you to stop holding out on us because you don't want to kill the mood at the king's dinner parties." Vumo stared back for several long seconds before nodding.

"I will obtain the chariot," he said, his voice low and strained.

"And I will think on what you've said." His gaze sharpened.

"One should always be aware of the limits of their capability. Good advice for anyone to heed."

"Great," Mark drawled, pointedly not looking at Vumo as he walked back to his seat.

"See, this is fun. You want to keep going?"

"I suppose we must," Vumo said, rubbing his eyes.

"Very well. I have a list of artifacts that I would like to show to Maja for identification and analysis." Jesse cleared his throat.

"You can leave them here with us," he said, "and we will have Maja review them." Arjun looked appraisingly over at Jesse but said nothing, while Jackie shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Vumo paused, then folded his hands in front of him.

"You have no intention of giving me a direct conversation with Maja," he said. There was something hard and brittle in his voice, and an ugly pall flitted across his eyes. Jesse shook his head, ignoring the attention from the others.

"Not today." Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

"We could have bargained for more if we gave him what he wanted," Mark grumbled, scratching his head discontentedly.

"I don't see what the harm would have been. It's not like she would take commands from him." He darted a glance at the front door, as if expecting Vumo to pop through. The elderly scriptsmith had long ago returned down the hill, looking an equal mix of hopeful and frustrated. In exchange for supplies and Vumo's assurance of safety for them and all detained Aesvain, they would provide analysis from Maja to help the scriptsmiths best employ the contents of their deadly vault against Eryha.

And as a down payment, Arjun was currently downstairs inspecting every spoke of the self-powered cart. Vumo would return in a span of days via the gateway to bring the first batch of artifacts and to exchange intelligence on their mutual enemy - but not to speak with Maja. He had repeatedly tried to bring the subject up after Jesse's initial rejection, but the answer had been the same every time. Jesse nodded.

"I know," he said.

"I might just be paranoid. Maybe it would have been fine to let them talk, but there's something about the idea that I don't like. Vumo is old and knows a lot - and he wasn't lying when he said that a few minutes of conversation with Maja could yield big returns for him. I just don't know that we would necessarily be able to pick up on everything he got from her - or that she got from him." He shook his head.

"Honestly, though, that's just a rationalization. I had ruled it out before I ever really thought about it. Whenever I think of Vumo and Maja talking one-on-one, I just get this sense like that would be something significant."

"Significant how?" Mark asked.

"Like he's got some plan involving her?" Jackie leaned back in her chair, staring up at the darkened ceiling.

"Like it would be something that changes everything, that we could never undo," she said tonelessly. A few beats of silence passed before she lowered her gaze to see confusion on Mark's face and raw astonishment on Jesse's.

"That's exactly it," Jesse said.

"How did you know?" Jackie shrugged.

"Probably the same way you did," she countered.

"My guess is that Tija knew something, and even if I don't know it I've got the memory knocking around somewhere upstairs. I couldn't tell you why, or what might happen - I just know that we should have our ducks in a row before we let those two talk."

"I agree completely," Jesse said, sounding slightly dazed.

"I should have figured this out earlier. Didn't really even connect it to Jes before now. It just feels like intuition, or something you half-remember from a dream. The shape, but no details." He paused to collect himself, looking intently at Jackie.

"Then - can you remember it happening any other times, aside from just now with Vumo?" She shook her head.

"Can't think of anything."

"No, there was definitely another time," Mark said.

"Right after you touched the tablet a couple of nights ago, I suggested that we show it to Maja. You did the same thing, you were immediately against it with no hesitation." Jackie blinked.

"I guess I was," she said, sounding vaguely troubled.

"I didn't even think about it, it's like Jesse said - I just know that asking Maja to look at it would have consequences."

"I know it too," Jesse said, surprised.

"For the tablet, just like when I consider letting her work on my sword. Not sure how, but when I think about giving either of those items to her it feels fundamentally wrong." He shook his head, blinking rapidly.

"A whole lot of things are starting to make sense. Jackie, have you learned anything about the tablet from the fragments in your head? Something that might let us know what Tija did that makes it so important?"

"Not from the fragments in my head," Jackie said, shivering as her eyes defocused.

"But when I touched it I had a - strange experience." Mark frowned.

"You didn't say anything about that," he muttered.

"It seemed crazy at the time," Jackie said.

"Still does. I wasn't sure if I had imagined all of it or not." She shook her head, closing her eyes.

"I touched the tablet and felt lightheaded, and then all of a sudden I was somewhere else. A long, enormous room with high ceilings, and all along the sides were these alcoves decorated with statues." Her eyes fluttered open, looking at nothing in particular.

"It was otherworldly. I've never seen anything else like it."

"I have," Jesse murmured.

"Let me guess - the light was cold, and nothing made a sound. The things in the alcoves hurt to look at." Jesse met her eyes and saw shared understanding there. Mark looked back and forth between the pair in increasing consternation.

"All right, someone fill me in," he said.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Back in Sjatel - just before everything went south, Jes showed me something," Jesse said.

"She said that when Goresje made this sword he somehow put fragments of knowledge inside it, things that were like the parts that made up her being. They contained techniques, knowledge. What she learned from the sword helped her talk to me more effectively." He pursed his lips, glancing down at the sword.

"When she showed me what it looked like to her, it was a place like what Jackie just described. A sort of hall, almost like a cathedral." He looked up at Mark, who was still anxiously shifting his gaze between them.

"It's a toolbox," he explained.

"A toolbox meant for someone like Jes to use, or like what Tija tried to put in Jackie." Mark blinked, looking at the sword sidelong.

"So when you're moving fast or doing the trick where you impersonate one of the pillars, it's from the sword?"

"Kinda," Jesse said. He waggled his hand back and forth equivocally.

"There's some things that Jes can do on her own, others she needs the sword for. But the sword makes her better at everything, more powerful." He looked at Jackie.

"For me, that's a good thing. For you…"

"Yeah, we don't want to make anything I've got in me more powerful," Jackie agreed. She rubbed at her arm under the sling, flexing the fingers on her injured hand.

"There was something else," she said.

"When I was there, my arm was covered in these glowing lines from the tips of my fingers right up to where the bone broke." Jesse frowned.

"Lines like script?" he asked.

"No, not script," she said, shaking her head.

"Like webbing or lace, just this dense pattern over my skin that glowed like a qi coin."

"Interesting," Jesse said thoughtfully.

"I never saw anything like that, but when Jes took me into the sword she had a strand of qim. She never explained it to me and I assumed it was just for lighting at first. Later, though, I got the impression that they were protecting us from the light in the cathedral somehow. The light is-""Dangerous," Jackie said, shivering as she remembered.

"You don't have to tell me. It feels like it would shine right through you, and not even bones would be left."

"So what do we do about the tablet?" Mark asked.

"We don't want to risk what's left of Tija getting supercharged. As much as I want to try and fix it up, it might be safer to ditch it. We don't really need the tablet anymore now that we've got the regional code set up." Jesse stroked his chin, looking thoughtful.

"Maybe," he allowed.

"But think about it. Tija wanted to use Jackie and the tablet for one purpose - to kill Eryha. So if she built a toolbox out of the tablet we can be pretty sure that everything in there will be useful for that purpose."

"I hate that you're making sense," Jackie muttered.

"I'll be honest, that thing scares the piss out of me and I want to chuck it down the mountain - but I think Jesse's right. Tija kept going on about how I couldn't hold everything she needed to take down her sister, so I'm betting she put just enough in me to keep control and tossed the rest in the tablet." All three of them looked over towards the corner where the tablet was tucked away in Mark's bag.

"So, we hang on to it," Mark said.

"Actually - wait. The sword and the tablet are both scary artifacts, fine. I can see why maybe there might be some issues handing them over to Maja. But why do you both get the heebie-jeebies thinking about letting her talk with ol' Grandpa Vumo?" He raised an eyebrow and looked between them.

"Doesn't that raise some questions about him, if he's in the same category as the tablet and the sword? And, for that matter, doesn't it raise some questions about Maja?"

"It's concerning that every time we've had one of these feelings it's about giving Maja access to someone or something powerful," Jesse agreed.

"Especially considering we're planning on finding yet more artifacts to give her so that she can fight Eryha. But at the same time, when I talk about doing that it doesn't feel the same as handing her the sword."

"Yeah, for me either," Jackie agreed.

"I'm not sure what it means. Maybe it's just - hell, I guess I'm an asaarim just like you now, aren't I?" She laughed, sounding wholly unamused.

"Vumo said asaarimyn were guided down a path. Maybe this is just what that feels like." Mark shook his head.

"I would get it for Jackie, since what she's got came from Tija. But why would Maja load Jesse up with a script that would make him hesitate to hand her powerful items? She's definitely interested in them." He scratched his head.

"It doesn't make any sense."

"I - don't know," Jesse admitted, flexing his fingers.

"I can't figure it out either, but I know someone I can ask. Someone I should have asked a long time ago." He patted his sword in its scabbard and gave the others a small smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"It's getting late, but I'll try and have a conversation with Jes about it before I turn in. Now that I know the right questions, I might be able to get some answers." It was dark in the control room once more, and reflected starlight twinkled from Goresje's blade as it lay across Jesse's knees. Slowly, he lowered his fingers until they were resting on the bare metal of the flat, then closed his eyes. Inhale, exhale. He breathed slowly, trying to let the tension bleed out of his shoulders. Inhale, exhale.

Now that he was looking for it, he could spot a few times where he had made snap judgments about something without really thinking it over. Were any of those decisions truly his? It was a disturbing line of thought, and he pushed it aside for the moment. Pushed them all aside. Getting agitated would only delay his answers. Inhale, exhale. He found himself dwelling on it and cursed under his breath. He was procrastinating. He was - afraid.

He didn't really want to have this conversation, but what good would putting it off do? It was overdue already, only happening this late because he had been too blind to ask the right questions. Inhale, and the sharp salt tang of the sea tickled his nose. He opened them to find the familiar window open over the Ce Raedhil shoreline, stars and qim twinkling beyond it in the two halves of the world.

The room's decor had shifted again, and Jesse saw a selection of small figures on the end table - mostly animals, hand-carved out of rough stone.

"Hey," Jes said, smiling and walking towards him from the far corner.

"I didn't expect you back so quickly." She met Jesse's eyes and her smile faltered.

"Is something wrong?"

"Can't you tell?" he asked.

"You know I don't just snoop on everything," she said, sounding wounded.

"You deserve some privacy, and for me - I've been taking time to think my own thoughts, to try to see what they are. I can't do that if I'm constantly exposed to yours. If you want, though, I can-" She blinked, then stared at Jesse with tears welling in her eyes.

"Oh. Oh, no, no," she whispered.

"No, it's not like that."

"Tell me how it is, then," Jesse said levelly, stepping forward as the qim in the room grew dimmer.

"Because from here-""I'm not controlling you," she protested.

"I've never tried to. I don't even think I could. It's you, it's always been you." She hesitated and looked down at the floor.

"You know that I can't see all the fragments I was left with," she said.

"I don't know why. Maybe it was a mistake when I was transferred to you, maybe they're just not meant for me yet. But I can sense the shape of them, feel around the edges. I think maybe you can too."

"I've never had any insight into your mind," Jesse said pointedly. Jes shook her head.

"No, not like I have into yours," she agreed.

"But the link is there even if you don't have the tools to use it. I've always wondered if maybe you can see a little more of those pieces than I can." She twisted her lips ruefully.

"You weren't built with blinders, like I was."

"So you're saying I'm accessing bits of you that you can't see," Jesse said, giving her an evaluating look.

"But that doesn't explain why you've got those bits in the first place." Jes went very still. The room was dark now, but Jesse could see the raw fear building in her eyes as he spoke.

"It makes sense that Tija would want to keep Maja away from items of power, sure," he said.

"But why would a piece of Maja want to do that? The entire point of creating asaarimyn is to go out into the world and do things Maja can't, so why would you balk at giving her what she wants? She clearly wants it." He stepped closer to her, looking down at her wide-eyed face.

"But you don't, and I think you've known why for a while." Jes took in a shuddering breath. Tears marked the corners of her eyes, and she turned away from his gaze.

"Yes," she rasped.

"Or at least I suspected. There were too many things that didn't add up after Sjatel. All it took was a touch…" She trailed off, touching her right arm, then forced her head around to look Jesse in the eye.

"I should have told you," she said.

"I should have shared - but you had just started talking with me." The words came out of her mouth in a rush, jumbled and desperate.

"You accepted me, after all that time, after all those days hating me, hating what I was. I couldn't - I wasn't sure, I didn't have anything other than a horrible suspicion until Jackie helped to confirm how marks from different sisters interact, how that was the only difference between… us."

"I should have told you then, but I just-" She clenched her fists, looking up at him with red-rimmed eyes.

"I was so afraid. Am still. Afraid of what all this means, of what I might do, that you might have been right to-" She choked off and began to cry, sinking down to sit on the bed.

"I don't know what to do," she sobbed. She was silent, then, weeping and shuddering in the near-total darkness. Jesse stepped forward and sat beside her on the edge of the bed, and after a minute she spoke again in a small, hopeless voice.

"Do you hate me?" the fragment of Eryha asked. Seconds ticked by before Jesse sighed and shook his head, draping an arm around her shoulders.

"That would be easier, wouldn't it?" he said.

"But I don't. I - dammit, I can't. You told me from the beginning who you were. Not Maja, not Eryha." He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and pulled her close.

"You are me, and I am you." The room rippled with a burst of color, the qim flaring to life around them. Her arms snaked around his torso and squeezed. He felt tearstains soaking into the front of his shirt, felt the soft tremors of her relieved weeping as the tension bled out of her. Jesse returned her embrace in silence and watched the light slowly trickle back into the room.

"So what do we do?" she murmured, her voice quiet and hollow. It was the right question to ask, but Jesse had no answer.