Chương 15: Cursed Child

Yuto and Shariel's journey was modest. They did not have a horse or a carriage. She insisted on walking on her own two feet and made Yuto carry all her luggage.

"Why don't you wear any shoes?" he asked her as he walked behind her with a large pack. She was barefoot, just as she had been when he first saw her.

"I enjoy the feel of the dirt underfoot. Don't mimic what I am doing. If you hurt your feet, I will be forced to carry you on my back." She seemed to be rather an odd personality and mysterious in many ways. The name that she had given him was fake, first of all, and she refused to tell him her age or what she had been doing before she met him. Part human, part elf...

Elves were proud to a fault, and they never interbred with other races.. There was absolutely nothing beneficial that came from mixed blood in this world. The resulting child would not belong to either camp, and the Constellations above did not favor those of mixed blood either.

"You will decide where we sleep tonight," Shariel said suddenly. This was their first day, and she was looking at the setting sun.

"Me?"

"Yes, the world is a rather unpleasant place, and in order to survive in it, you need various kinds of knowledge. Most problems can be solved by force, but not all of them." She shook her bottle and continued speaking.

"The matter of finding a place to sleep is particularly like this. You could swing your sword all you want out here, but it won't build you a home. And at your age, you must sleep and eat well in order to grow," she said. Shariel did not just teach him how to utilize his strength and powers. She taught him how to find water, know when something was edible and when it was not, read the wind, find a safe place to spend the night, hide his presence, read the presence of others, and so on.

She taught him everything he needed for his survival.

"Controlling your strength and becoming stronger is important, but equally important is staying alive for as long as possible, because if you live for long enough, you generally grow quite powerful."

"Like you, Shariel?"

"You impudent child, you do not mention a woman's age. Do you have a death wish?" Yuto absorbed her teachings like a sponge. To be more precise, he felt that he already knew a lot of what she told him. It wasn't so much learning as jogging his memory through her lessons. When they were looking for water or deciding where to make camp, Shariel would only tell him half of what he needed to know, and the rest Yuto would figure out by himself.

"Huh! Would you look at that?" She chuckled as she looked around at the spot that Yuto had chosen for their camp. The wind was at their back, some water was nearby but not too close, and there was a rock formation behind them that would reduce their blind spots.

"It's almost as if you've done this before. Don't tell me you got all your memories back?"

"That is not the case. It's just that I feel like I've done this before." More memories kept coming back to him. He had been king of Velkyne, but he had been traveling more often than he had stayed in the royal castle. In particular, he had very many memories of the battlefield, which he supposed was natural since he had defeated every Eclipse.

"Now I am even more curious about your past than before. What exactly were you up to in your past, I wonder?" Shariel said, her eye gleaming, but he didn't reply to the question. He couldn't tell her. What would he say? That he had once been king of the kingdom that was said to have been destroyed three years ago, and that he had traveled back from a distant future? It made no sense even to him. And he did not trust her enough to tell her the whole truth, anyway. She wants something from me.

He didn't know what exactly it was, but her kindness wasn't for free. She was peculiar in many ways and had many secrets. For instance, she didn't ask him for details about the Void Skills.

"Shariel." He decided to ask her directly about this question. She glanced up with her single visible eye as she lit a fire with the firewood that he had gathered.

"What do you think this power is that I control?" he asked.

"I don't know. Maybe it's magic," Shariel said with a grin. She looked down at the embers.

"Even though I say that, I realize it probably doesn't make any sense. You have plenty of ether, but not so much that you should be able to use that kind of magic. Besides, your power is far beyond what is typically possible with magic." Yuto listened.

"Then there is only one conclusion. It is a sovereign power from a Constellation. But then again, you are not a noble, are you?"

"No, I've never had this kind of power, actually. It only revealed itself after I left the Colosseum."

"So when you first met me? How odd. Perhaps some Constellation noticed that you had survived an encounter with the Crimson Ringmistress, and it got their attention." She chuckled and sat in front of the fire.

"That also makes very little sense. But I told you before, they are unpredictable. It was their decision to grant their powers only to nobles. I suppose they could make exceptions depending on their whims."

"Is that right...?"

"Is there any other possible explanation? It just makes sense to think that some Constellation made an unusual choice. A fighter from an underground Colosseum who didn't even know who he was, somehow survived the Crimson Ringmistress and got an invitation from her. That's a story that could interest one of them. It's stories like that which they live on."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Why do you think they look down from above at the world we live in? What would keep them amused in their never-ending lives?" A cold look entered her single visible eye. It was nighttime now, and stars had appeared in the sky. She glared up at the night.

"You might say Callisto is a stage and the Constellations are the crowd who watches the stories unfold and enjoys them. It's not so different from how the Colosseum worked." His head began to hurt again. He was very familiar with what she was saying. It wasn't that he had understood from her comparison to the Colosseum. He had known this intimately ever since his past life.

"If anyone pleases the Constellations, they will focus on that person. When they turn twelve, the Constellations will form a contract with them, and if they watch the life of that person unfold and find pleasure and entertainment, they will grant a more powerful blessing. It is mostly the nobles who get this treatment, but sometimes there are exceptions." Shariel gazed down at him.

"But that is just a guess, mostly. I cannot tell if your power really comes from them. I don't have a Constellation myself, and there is something very exotic about your power that makes me unsure if it really comes from a Constellation at all." He fell silent at this.

"And you don't seem to know it yourself, do you? But that's enough, isn't it? For now, at least." Yuto watched her and thought that this was a very reasonable guess. Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!

"Does my beauty entrance you? I understand, but you are making me embarrassed by staring at me too openly." She chuckled and uncapped her bottle. He cleared his throat and looked away.

Enough for now... she says.

She did not pry, and her words just now strengthened the notion that she was purposefully holding back from asking too much about his power. That made it even stranger that she was so eager to teach him how to use it. I don't know what it is that you want from me, but at present I have no reason to refuse. He thought as he stared at the fire. She might have her own reasons for wanting to use him. Well, he would also use her. There was nothing else he could do right now, anyway.

* A week had passed since the journey began. Shariel and Yuto passed over the border of Valisthera and visited a small village. It was so tiny that it wasn't even on the map. It had around twenty houses, some fields, and an old well. Shariel was only dropping by to replenish her alcohol stock. The villagers smiled at the outsiders and welcomed them.

"You've visited us on a good day. Come and enjoy the festivities with us," one of them said. They had been about to leave quickly, but the villagers asked them to stay.

"A wedding," Shariel murmured. Some people were gathered in a clearing at the center of the village. There was no luxury on display. Instead of gold and jewels, ornaments made of braided grass were everywhere, and instead of real music, people clapped their hands together. The bride's dress had apparently been used by many women before her, since it was fraying at the hems, and the bridegroom's clothing did not even fit his body. Even so, everyone was laughing.

The bridegroom took the bride's hand, and cheers erupted into the air. Somebody began to sing a clumsy tune, and everybody joined in. Children ran around the couple, and the elderly watched with proud smiles on their faces. Yuto stood by the well, staring blankly at the scene. The bride and bridegroom beamed at each other and kissed. His heart ached all of a sudden.

Huh...? This was no headache. He wasn't losing control of his ether again, either. This was different from the skull-breaking pain that had visited him every time something jogged a memory. It hurt him and filled him with longing and warmth. I...

He found himself staring down at his palms. I once held someone's hand like that.

He felt very certain of this. He couldn't remember her name, but his hands did. His hands recalled a smaller one that had fit perfectly and snugly in his palm, and the swell of emotion that he had received every time he held it.

Who was she again? He searched his memory desperately. In the last stream, he had glimpsed into a past in which he had been a hero, a king, a father and a husband. But the memories were vague at best, and at the end there had been only rage and hatred at the violence that had occurred. He had not felt anything like this. Now that he was watching this marriage, his emotions overwhelmed him.

He desperately searched his mind, ignoring the headache that this caused, as he tried to remember whose hand it was that he recalled. He remembered laughter, the same laughter he had heard in his dream. The voice had been hard to make out, but he knew it had mattered to him more than the world. He recalled a small body jumping into his arms. My family. My wife and daughter. The husband and wife smiled at each other, and the villagers sprayed wildflower petals at them.

A celebratory song continued, and Yuto watched it all. The Constellations looked down from above, and nobles enslaved other people. Monsters committed massacres on a whim. That was the kind of world this was, according to what Yuto had seen so far after waking up. A prison, the Colosseum, blood and death. But even in a place like this, there was joy, as was evident. Small happiness that consisted of old dresses, wildflowers, and awkward snatches of music.

Ahh...

He felt as though he were staring at something too bright for his eyes. The past he was trying to remember overlapped with his reality.

"Are you envious?" said a voice from beside him. Shariel stood with her hands clasped behind her back, watching the same scene. Yuto was unable to respond. His heart ached too much for him to say that he felt envious, and he could not take his eyes off the scene, which prevented him from saying that he felt no jealousy at all.

"It's not wrong to be envious," she said. Her voice was quiet.

"A person can envy many things, including that which you do not have, or that which you have lost." With those words, she walked away. He stood there for a little while longer and only turned away when the husband and wife were no longer visible because they were surrounded by the villagers. He heard the song blessing the newlywed couple even as he walked away from the village. That night, Yuto dreamed again. The dream was clearer than before, perhaps because of the wedding he had seen during the day.

He heard laughter. A warm hand took his hand, and a small body was in his arms. She looked up at him and murmured something. He felt happy. So happy that he thought his heart might explode, and this scared him since he knew what would come after that. His dream turned blood red, and the songs of happiness turned to screaming. The warm hand went cold and fell limp on the floor. The small child in his arms was carried away by someone else. He reached out to grab her, but he couldn't touch her.

He shouted her name, but he didn't hear what the name was. He walked unsteadily through an underground passageway in a blood-drenched palace. He left bloody footprints in his wake, and his hand kept slipping off the wall as he tried to support himself. Blood kept pouring out of the wound in his chest. But still, he kept on walking. He couldn't stop. If he did, everything would be over. And once everything was over, he would not get his revenge, nor be able to take back what he had lost.

What about the things that would never come back no matter what he did? What about the ones precious to him who had died? What exactly have I lost?

He walked and walked until his knees gave way. The stars laughed at him from above as he sat on the floor. They cackled and clapped their hands together and cheered. With a gasp, he opened his eyes. He could see the night sky and the hateful stars that filled it. He glared at them and slowly got up. His body was covered in sweat, and his heart still beat rapidly, as if he were still dreaming. He could hear the campfire burning. Shariel was sitting across the fire, her bottle on her lap.

She was looking at him quietly.

"First, have some water," she said. Then she tossed the water bag to him. Out of breath, he took a sip, and as the cold water traveled down his throat, the lingering dream slowly faded away.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" he asked.

"I don't sleep much," she said casually, drinking from her bottle. But he knew the truth. He had never slept easily ever since they had begun this journey. It was always the same nightmare. And every time he woke up, she was sitting there, awake. There had been no exceptions.

"You must have had another bad dream." She laughed and murmured to him.

"A dream from your past?" she asked.

"Yes..."

"Hmm. Of course you have that nightmare every time, since you survived such a terrible place." She drank from the bottle again.

"I am accompanying you now to help you recover your memories, but sometimes I think maybe it's not necessary for you to remember if your past was so painful and terrible that you cannot sleep properly at night." She put down her bottle and watched him quietly.

"Perhaps it would be better to erase such a past entirely, no matter what sort of life you had before. You're alive now, and now is what matters. If you want, I can help you. I can wipe every trace of those memories."

"No, that won't be necessary," he said with gritted teeth.

"I can never forget this past. I have to remember all of it."

"And why is that? It causes you pain, doesn't it? Child, you're still young. You survived hell. So, perhaps it would be better for you to move on and seek happiness."

"I can't do that," he said, clenching shaky hands.

"The memories are far too happy for me to forget. I can never forget."

"So the happiness of your past matters more to you than the satisfaction you may or may not find in your future?"

"There is no meaning to happiness earned by forgetting my past. And I don't even want happiness in the first place."

"Then what is it that you want?"

"Revenge." Shariel's eye narrowed. Then she spoke again.

"Revenge? Against whom?"

"Whoever caused me pain in the past."

"Hahaha..." she said, chuckling in a low voice.

"You are cursed, child. Your past is clinging to you, making you obsessed with it." He said nothing.

"I won't tell you that it's wrong. Everybody has an obsession. Even I have one." She got up slowly, came over to him, and sat down. Then she patted his sweaty hair a few times.

"But it seems to me that you don't even remember who you want revenge against." She forced him to lay his head down on her lap.

"Even revenge takes power. So sleep for now. You must sleep well if you want to be stronger." He stared up at her blankly. It had already been a week since he had accompanied her. His feelings about her hadn't changed. She was mysterious, suspicious, and full of secrets. She was being kind to him because she wanted something from him. She wanted to use him for her own ends. What exactly do you want from me, I wonder?

She had mentioned putting him in debt and that she would force him to pay at a later point, but that was not enough to explain these things. She stayed up at night watching him whenever he had a nightmare. She gave him food, saying that he needed to grow. She ruffled his hair, and her hand always felt warm when she did that. Even if he asked about it, she would always give him the same answer. So he closed his eyes.