Chương 34: (April Fools) Integration AU

Martin, with a deep sigh, falls backwards into his couch. He stares at the vacant fireplace, unused since he bought the house a year ago. It's depressing, in a way he can't pinpoint, like a ghost of a different era. His phone lets off a series of vibrations, each one more ominous than the last. With a grunt, he answers the phone. Before he can even get a word in, a voice starts speaking.

"Okay, I got one. For real this time," Elia, his handler, says.

"Please stop. Look, I'm just gonna run out the clock. MBR can assign me someone, and they can't be any worse than the wardens you're suggesting."

"Okay, Kinkajou was a bad call, but I think you'll be interested in this one. She, uhh... she skipped the usual training, and she could use a gentle touch."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I'll just send you the file, okay?"

"Yeah, fine..." With a heavy groan, he hangs up the phone and checks his email. As expected, a new file is waiting for him, entitled simply "Shrike." His reticent hand taps the file, which brings up a strange sight. She's a kynde, apparently, one with some kind of heat and light manipulation ability. Apparently, she was hibernating underground, and was accidentally unearthed by a rockslide. According to her, it disrupted her somehow.

She's right on the border between magical being and human in appearance, uncannily pale with unkempt light brown hair. It's hard not to notice that she's wearing something that looks like a sleep mask in the picture, strangely enough. Most of all, though, she looks a little... lost. He reads through the file a bit more. She prefers very hot temperatures, is somewhat distant, can't stand artificial light. Worth looking into, at least.

Martin's Jeep crunches the gravel beneath it, as he pulls into the Magical Being Relations headquarters. It's a large, U-shaped building, with the front entrance being at the center of that U. He knows from experience that at least a dozen magical beings live here, usually ones that have difficulty with human society for whatever reason: illness, cultural differences, lack of desire... He enters through the front door, smiling at the front desk worker: an older man with a severe expression.

"Hey, Stolatz," Martin says, pleased with himself for remembering the man's name.

"Mhmm," the desk attendant says, going back to his newspaper.

"Torres is waiting for you, room B215."

"Excellent, thanks."

"Yeah... be careful with that one. I dunno why, but kyndes give me the heebie-jeebies." Martin rolls his eyes, writing it off as Stolatz being an idiot. It's insane to think prejudice like that exists in the modern day... Martin jogs up a flight of steps and down one of the wings. A few residents are lounging around here, all of them giving him a warm salutation. It's unsurprising, given how often he hangs out here when off-duty.

He returns the greetings to the assortment of people, only stopping once he reaches his destination. He gently raps his knuckles on the sturdy oak door, listening to the sound of shifting movements inside. Eventually, Director Ximena Torres opens the door, eagerly inviting him in.

"There you are! Martin, this is Shrike. Shrike, Martin." The kynde is buried deep beneath blankets despite the room already being very warm, the only light coming from the windows. Her head sharply pops out of the cocoon, and tilts slightly, golden eyes radiant against the sunlight streaming through the window. Her soft brown hair hangs loosely around her shoulders, and- Martin looks away to center himself. Be normal, you just met her.

"Hey, Shrike. Nice to meet you." Shrike looks up at him, expressionless, but not without emotion. Her mind runs through a dozen thought patterns, but none of them feel correct for the situation. Nowhere in her past was she treated so... cordially. Novelty in environment is expected, novelty in human behavior is not. It inspires a certain unfamiliar trepidation within her.

She has allowed Torres to do two things in order to facilitate this meeting: first, assign her a name, according to the customary animal theming used by wardens. Second, to reduce the temperature significantly for the sake of the next human who enters. It's strange. She has a desire to return to hibernation, but at the same time, there is so much to learn about the current period that she can't squander the opportunity.

She pulls the blankets slightly tighter, mind switching back and forth between her general process and interpersonal.

"I am seeking a purpose here, and have learned that slaughter of nuisance creatures is required. Are you seeking an ally in that endeavor, and further, would I satisfy that role?"

"Yeah," the man replies, scratching his vestigial beard.

"I'd like to bring you along for a hunt, to test the waters."

"I am unsuited for aquatic hunting."

"What? Oh, test the waters is an expression for trying something." Shrike straightens her head in response. Indeed, so much to learn.

"Very well. Consider me your accomplice." With an omukade terminated and a picture sent to the HQ, Martin begins the drive back from the mountains. It was a pretty standard hunt, though Shrike saved his ass at the end.

"So, how did you like it?" he asks. Shrike stays huddled beneath a few heated blankets provided by MBR, peering out from the mound like a turtle in its shell.

"It was suitable. You are highly experienced, and I completed the task as described."

"Good to hear. That big spear of light was amazing. I hope you stick with it, Utah never has enough wardens... well, enough good wardens." Shrike pauses for a moment, before saying, "Do not return me to the Magical Being Relations building."

"What? Why?"

"I do not wish to be sequestered from larger society any further, as MBR has offered. Even with artificial lights abounding, I am eager to learn what has changed over the centuries, particularly in regard to magical beast interpersonal treatment."

"Oh. I can get MBR to sign off on that. Did you have somewhere you'd rather be?"

"Does your own home possess a... what is the word... place for fire?" Martin stays silent, but changes his course. It's not uncommon for partners to live together, even if only for convenience, but Shrike might be... difficult to room with. Hopefully just the fireplace is enough for her heat needs.

"This is suitable," Shrike confirms, sitting next to the fire while wrapped in yet more blankets. Damn, that's cute, Martin muses. With a contented sigh, he leans against the dark wall in his living room, watching Shrike peacefully exist in the dim light and sweltering heat. He has a good feeling about this. Shrike looks towards him with a pleased smile, and slowly, her eyelids begin to drift closed. She's asleep within a minute.

Martin quietly steps beside her and adds another log to the fireplace, before going into his own room. With a little hesitation, he dials the number for a retired warden he knows. They aren't really friends, but he's still the best source of information. Something about him puts Martin on edge, though. He takes a little too much pride in how many beasties he's killed. If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. It isn't long before Peccary answers.

"Hiya, Martin, what brings you to me?" Martin stays quiet, not wanting to wake Shrike, even this far away.

"Hey... I got a new partner, and I could use some advice. She's a kynde who likes heat-""Shrike, huh?" Peccary interrupts.

"Wait, what? How the hell did you know that?" A loud guffawing makes Marting flinch, before slowly putting his ear back to the speaker to hear Peccary as he continues.

"Ol' MBR's always coming to me with the weird ones. Yeah, took some time, asked her questions, figured her out. She's got some kind of multi-track brain, uses differing ways of thinking depending on the situation. Between you and me, ain't none of them any good with people. Listen, Martin, you just gotta be frank with her. You know, don't be subtle."

"Uh-huh... makes sense..."

"Yup... Martin, you're a damn fine warden. I ain't cut out for the job nowadays, too much tranquilizing and relocating, but you have a way with the beasties. I gotta say, though, you'd make a fine integration officer, too. You have a way with not just beasties, but sapients, too."

"Huh. I appreciate that. I know we don't see eye to eye on... Wait, what are you implying?"

"Just that even if you weren't working for MBR, I bet you'd be integrating with sapients anyway." Martin hangs up to another round of loud laughing, and drags his hand down his face. He forgot about Peccary's habit of telling incredibly offensive 'jokes.' Inter-species relationships have been normal since... well, they were normal when he was a kid, so sometime between then and when Peccary was old enough to make jokes. In any case, he better get to bed. Going to be a long day tomorrow.

Shrike follows closely behind Martin with both a heavy coat and a pair of custom fit, fully opaque sunglasses. They are less comfortable than the sleeping mask she prefers, but help her blend in more, and blending in has always been required in her past. She senses plenty of people around in this massive store, but none give her more than a passing look, as usual... Martin taps her on the shoulder.

"Gonna go to the bathroom. I'll find you later, okay?"

"You are abandoning me?"

"What? No, you can wait here if you want, I just didn't want you to be bored."

"I understand." With a final look back, Martin leaves her sense of heat to use the bathroom. Her range is only twenty or so feet, and she's left alone. Suddenly, a smell hits her nose. Faint, but warm and vaguely familiar. She follows it, carefully avoiding everyone else, until she reaches it. A store within the store? Intriguing...

"Good morning," a young-seeming voice behind the counter says.

"What can I do for you?"

"What is that smell's source?" He sniffs the air, but looks back to her.

"I don't smell anything weird."

"There is a smell permeating the area, a bitter, warm scent. Is it truly undetectable by you?"

"Oh!" he says, now smiling.

"You must be new to human society, right?" She turns her body slightly sideways, making herself a smaller target.

"I am not seeking a general conversation, I am only asking for the source of the smell."

"Sorry, didn't mean to pry. That's the smell of coffee."

"Coffee."

"Yep. Comes from a roasted bean that's ground down and brewed into water." The faintest hint of a memory tickles the back of Shrike's brain, but she ignores it, far more concerned with the present right now. Some kind of machine is extremely hot behind him...

"I understand. Coffee contains caffeine, a stimulant. It is consumed, yes?"

"Yep. Did you want to try?"

"Indeed. Do not sell all of your inventory. I will ask my partner for the required funds, and-""First one's free," he says with a chuckle, taking a cup and putting it beneath the strange machine. After pressing a smooth face of the machine, Shrike observes it dispensing a scorching liquid, followed by him taking the cup and setting it on the counter, but maintaining a hold on it.

"One thing, miss. It's very hot, so you should wait a bit before drinking."

"Your warning has been heard." The moment the boy releases the cup, Shrike takes it, and enjoys a short sip. Immediately, a pleasant heat radiates from her stomach, and a delightful bitterness clings to her tongue. She begins taking longer sips that turn into gulps, until the entire cup is consumed within sixty seconds.

"Are... you okay?" the cashier asks.

"I am doing well. Is coffee typically sold at this temperature?"

"Well, yes..."

"This is excellent news!" Shrike announces with a growing smile.

"This is a popular beverage, correct? Is finding shops selling it difficult?" He starts to smile again, worry fading fast.

"It's not as common out here in Utah, but it's still everywhere. You know, I've never seen someone so excited about coffee before."

"It is kept at a very pleasing temperature for me, and has a delightful taste, and the caffeine itself does not affect me. I appreciate your generosity, and shall..." Shrike pauses, and steps to the side once realizing that someone has been behind her for some time.

"I apologize. I had not meant to impede you."

"Don't worry about it," the woman responds.

"I'll have an iced caramel latte, and a large, black coffee." The cashier takes her money, returning the change, as Shrike stands to the side, still caught up in the smell and heat. When her order comes, she takes her own drink, and offers the black coffee for Shrike.

"Welcome to human society," the woman says with a smile.

"Have another, if you'd like." Shrike begins to frown.

"I cannot pay."

"It's a gift."

"Oh! My gratitude." Shrike eagerly accepts the cup, enjoying the warmth in her hands.

"Is it so evident I am not human?"

"Yeah, once you start talking, but don't worry. It's not a bad thing," she says.

"My name is Irene. You are..?"

"I am a kynde. My name is, as of recently, Shrike." She takes a drink from the second cup, and savors it much more than the first, intentionally making it last.

"I am very grateful to you both." Irene smiles even wider.

"Seeing anyone get this happy over a cup of coffee is reward enough. Are you alone?"

"I am with a partner, who has departed temporarily to visit the bathroom."

"Unshaven, has serious eyes?"

"Yes. Martin."

"Yeah, there's a slightly panicked guy wandering around. Hey, Martin!" Irene calls, waving her hand. Martin perks up, and immediately jogs over.

"There you are! I was worried I lost you. You okay?"

"I am excellent. These fine people have gifted me this hot beverage called 'coffee.' Is this possible to produce at our home?" Martin nods.

"Do you like it?"

"It is a great pleasure, between the heat and faintly bitter taste..." she takes another slow sip, sighing contentedly.

"Uhh... Shrike, slow down. It has caffeine in it, which-""It is a human stimulant that does not affect me. Thank you again, Irene and shopkeeper. This has been an exceptional experience. I have faint memories across prior centuries, and never have I been accepted within human society so willingly. It is very... special, and important." Irene smiles again, and takes her leave, while the cashier is already busy with another customer. Martin takes Shrike's free hand.

"Okay, come on. Let's go check out the coffee aisle, see which you'd like to try."

"There is an entire aisle of coffee variants? Are all attainable?"

"Let's start with three." Martin holds his face in his hands, sitting in a kitchen chair.

"Come on, instant coffee isn't that bad..."

"A falsehood! I demand you dispose of the so-called 'instant' flavor. The only instant effect was sullying the taste of water, as though dirt was the prime ingredient."

"Shrike, my budget's a little tight, and my coffee maker's on its last legs. That's a metaphor meaning it's about to break."

"Is that the only impediment? Very well, I shall remedy this." Shrike produces a debit card from her pocket.

"This is the money one and not the identifying one, correct?" He takes it with reverence.

"Yeah. You sure this is what you want to spend your first paycheck on?"

"Earnestly."

"Well, it's your money, I guess..." Shrike folds her arms, a deep frown settling on her face.

"Who is the lord of your land?"

"Huh..? Like, the president?"

"I refer to the proprietor of your building. I wish to speak with them."

"Oh. I actually bought the place. I have a mortgage to pay, though."

"I understand. What am I being paid to work for Magical Being Relations? I do not wish for a meaningless number, if possible, but a relative understanding." Martin slides the instant coffee into a shelf. He'll be drinking it for a while.

"About the same as me."

"I understand. Do I have any unique recurring expenses?"

"No, not really. No rent since you live with me, and MBR manages magical being healthcare insurance, which is free. Lucky you."

"Very well. I insist you take as much money from this card as you require."

"Oh. Uhh." Martin looks at her debit card for a moment longer.

"Shrike, I'm not going to make you pay to live with me. You're my partner, not a tenant." Shrike remains impassive as Martin tries to return her debit card.

"If we are equals, then it would reassure me for it to be proven. Allow me an equal share of expenses." Martin smiles, putting the card in his pocket.

"Sure. I hope I didn't come off as infantilizing."

"You did not." Shrike's tone grows dimmer, and more serious.

"Martin, you are treating me with particular courtesy, far beyond what is reasonably expected for my cooperation. What is it you seek to gain from me?" Martin shakes his head, having figured this conversation was coming.

"Nothing, Shrike. You're new here, and I'm sure it's a pretty dramatic transition. As an expert on dramatic transitions, I'm just doing for you what I'd do for anyone in your position." She slinks into a kitchen chair, holding her knees to her chest.

"I had expected to find some humans open to treating me as an equal. There are always some, but I have been accepted by the large majority of humanity without so much as a single proof of my intentions. No, I am celebrated, treated as a long-lost family member by strangers, assisted at every turn without any expectation of repayment. I... I find it difficult to trust, as I have no frame of reference for my current existence, no anchoring point to situate myself on."

"Then use this house as your starting point. Use me. I'm pretty boring, but I'm not planning on any radical changes." Shrike pulls her legs in closer.

"Then you must know all of me, all that I remember. I am far from a neutral presence. I have killed and consumed humans before." Martin grimaces.

"Why?"

"I am unsure why. I remember anger, peeling away the gleaming metal armor of someone, feasting on their heart. This was not deep in the past, I remember, perhaps two or three cycles prior."

"What color was the metal?"

"As is steel or iron."

"Uh-huh..." Martin looks for something on his phone, and sets the brightness to the minimum before turning it around.

"Did it look like this?" Shrike peeks at his phone, and nods several times.

"Almost identically so." He chuckles a little.

"That's amazing. It's a conquistador. You were acting in self-defense. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"You only confirm my suspicions... Martin, I require guidance, if I am to prosper here. Will you assist me in navigating?"

"Of course I will, and I'd be honored to do it." Shrike nods, but he can't see what her eyes are hiding. Her smile implies good things, though.