Chương 9: 8. The Throne of Carburetors

Every trial came with its secret rewards. Back in my previous run, I spent a few weeks with a former game designer who had shared a few theories regarding the Grand Arcana. The man seemed out of place. Everything from his gear to the cards collected didn't seem to make sense. Lots of people shunned him, viewing him as a weirdo who'd last a few days at the most. Later it was revealed that he had been taking part in the game for years.

To boot, several deities had granted him their blessings, curious to see his advancement. At the time, I had felt enough pity to offer him some of my supplies. Thinking about it, I still had no idea why. One got to see lots of pitiful people while moving forward. In more cases than not, helping them was more dangerous than facing monsters. He hadn't taken any of the food, but appreciated the gesture enough to tell me a few things about game design.

"It's all a bell curve," he'd say.

"Trials always focus on the average. The best and the worst only get pushed towards the middle." It had taken me a while to figure out what exactly he had meant, but when I saw it, my view of the Arcana changed. There were two things that deities disliked: people dying too early and people completing the trials too fast. As a result, safety measures had been put in place to prevent either from happening.

I had little doubt that the moment half the participants were killed off by goblins, Harlequin would announce some new made-up rule to save the rest. Either the goblins would be unsummoned, or part of the killed would be revived. The whole point was to push us to the middle of the bell curve until the time we could get there on our own. The attitude towards the strong was similar, though executed in a different fashion.

We didn't get divine penalties, although I had my thoughts on that given that we were thrown into a goblin trial so early on. Traps and enemies, far superior to anything else displayed so far, were scattered throughout the trial. There was no chance that an average person would find them on their own. Yet, those with the will and strength to do so had a chance to receive a substantial boost early on.

"Looks like we're here," Marcus said, pointing to a spot on the map. Thanks to his intuition, we had managed to find a stand containing information on the area. Hidden among magazine and newspaper articles were depictions of enemies we might expect, along with weapons, card explanations, and—funnily enough—deity advertisements. Seeing blessings offered in seventies-styled adds was a bit too much. Also, the fact that I didn't recognize any of the entities suggested that they were strictly small-time.

"That puts the goblin leader here." I put a ten-cent coin where the paint shop was.

"One's in the city center," Cathy said, placing a quarter on the map.

"The commander at the top of the tallest building. Maybe he's the big boss of the trial?"

"No," Marcus said firmly, his intuition kicking in.

"He's right," I said, adding another coin.

"Boss info is hidden. It's probably one of the unknowns." The papers had articles on a few of them: Monster hiding in the sewers! Mysterious phantom seen on west side! Boogeyman at large in city! Specifics were scant, barely hinting at the creature's powers. If I had to guess, one of the creatures was the boss, with the other two being elites. The only firm rule we had to go on was that they had to be goblins. Everything else was a matter of interpretation.

"And you're sure that the trial will end if we kill them?" Cathy looked at me.

"No," I replied.

"It's just a feeling. You have to admit that my hunches have been right so far." I looked at the map. Seven coins were on it. Excluding the goblin leader I had already killed, that left six plus the three unknowns.

"I think the small ones represent the number of waves left," I said.

"If we kill them, the waves become more manageable. It's the big ones we must focus on. Also, I have a feeling they only appear at night."

"What makes you think that?" Marcus crossed his arms.

"Harlequin's announcement," I lied.

"He went out of his way to say that goblins won't attack at night, then switched and said that we could explore the city during the day."

"An obvious misdirect," Marcus mused.

"It's a lot of speculation. There's no telling you're right."

"There's no telling I'm wrong," I countered.

"Everything is guesswork. The only given is that he's not the type to provide help unless he has to. Whatever the deities really are, they want a show, which means giving us just enough hints to figure things out on our own." That was a stretch, but without a basis for comparison, they had nothing to say.

"So, that's the plan?" Cathy asked.

"We search for the trio and hope to get lucky?"

"No," I replied.

"We'll need better weapons. That means starting with the small ones." Six goblin leaders. By definition, that meant they'd be surrounded by a horde of ordinary goblins. Depending on the rules of the trial, getting them to fight could range from elementary to outright impossible. During the wave, the goblin leader had remained behind. If attacked, there was a good chance that he might flee, seeking protection from someone more powerful. I looked at the map again.

"I say we start with this one," I pointed to a coin relatively isolated from the rest.

"It's far from any boss areas."

"Fine, but I'll need a better weapon," Cathy said.

"I'm not carrying a sledgehammer through the streets." Like us, she had taken several goblin knives, but those were a lot less useful than one might think. Having them was alright as a last resort, but I would definitely not rely on them for any substantial fighting. They were so crude and flimsy that even using them for throwing was questionable.

"I think I saw a sports shop on the way here," I said.

"Maybe we'll get something from there." Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site. With that, the conversation ended. I used a knife to mark the location of the coins on the map, then rolled it up and put it into my inventory. A cold eeriness surrounded us as we walked through the town. The dim lights and deafening quiet made everyone stay on edge, some more than others. It was as if we were walking through the eye of a hurricane, never sure when we'd enter the storm.

For me, the lack of light was the most annoying. Near the end of my previous run, I had obtained enough favor from a deity to get the blessing of dark vision. Some would have called it a game-changer. For me, it had merely been a necessity. Right now, I'd even settle for a chalice card. As promised, we went through what passed for a sports store. The selection was pitiful—mostly clothes and footwear. People in this version of the seventies didn't share a fondness for exercise.

Thankfully, we came across something unexpectedly useful: bows and arrows. Without the proper cards, such weapons were as helpful as a toothbrush—I could still find some use for them, but it wouldn't be as intended. Fortunately, Cathy was a different matter. Being the athlete that she was, the woman had spent a few years practicing archery. According to her, she wasn't particularly good at it, but still found it preferable to dragging the hammer.

Taking a pair of bows and as many arrows as her inventory would hold, we continued towards our destination.

"What happens when it's over?" Cathy whispered after a while.

"The trial?" I asked, unsure of what she had in mind. The woman nodded.

"We get new cards, then move to the next, I guess."

"Yeah, but until when?" That was a very good question, one to which I had yet to find an answer. The common belief was that the trials were infinite. The whole purpose of them was for deities to find their favorites. Just before my near-death, a goddess had told me that I had reached the final trial. Supposedly, once I passed it, everything would change. As any deity, she had remained cryptic about it, only ready to say more in exchange for a contract. Looking back, I should have taken the deal.

Now, I'd never know whether she was telling the truth or not.

"Until we die," Marcus said unceremoniously.

"Or they get tired of us." It was a cynical view of things, but I wholeheartedly agreed. Even after everything I had seen, the only people who broke free from the Arcana's grasp were those plucked out by the deities themselves.

"Let's get through this one first." As we continued, the faint stench of rot became more and more pronounced. It was as if someone had dumped a pile of food in the street and let it rot for days. I was already itching to draw out my machete. Seeing Marcus summon his dagger from the inventory confirmed my suspicions. Next corner, I moved my lips. Cathy and Marcus had caught on since they nodded, preparing for a fight. Pressing my body against the wall, I carefully looked around the corner.

A pack of goblins was there, as expected. Using a car as a makeshift barbecue, they were roasting something that would make any sane person vomit. From this distance it was impossible to tell what it was, but there was a good chance they had dragged one of the killed participants, transforming them into a feast. Ignoring their culinary practices, I focused on the numbers. From what I could make out, there were over thirty creatures, including the leader.

That left a quarter unaccounted for, assuming there were forty of them. Goblin Leader Level: 3 Cards: Three of Swords Special: Spread Fear Weapon: Slaughter Hatchet (x2) The leader was sitting on a crude throne made entirely out of carburetors. Only a goblin would come up with such an idea. His weapons were a pair of hatchets sticking from his makeshift belt. An interesting choice, though a deadly one. If I had faced him at the start of the trial, odds were that I'd lose.

Now, thanks to my new card and weapon, I stood a chance.

"They're there." I pulled back.

"I saw around thirty, which means ten must be hiding somewhere." I paused to see the others' reaction. On the surface, they seemed to take it well. Sadly, that could well change once the actual fighting started.

"The leader's there." I turned to Cathy.

"Think you can hit him from here?"

"What's the distance?"

"Sixty feet? Maybe eighty."

"Eighty feet," the woman repeated.

"I can try as long as he isn't moving."

"He's not." At least not much.

"Here's the plan. You try that. Meanwhile, we'll be ready. Hit or miss, the rest of the goblins will charge this way. Don't shoot at them. Run somewhere safe while Marcus and I deal with them. Once you find a good spot, you can assist."

"Sounds like you'll be doing most of the work," Cathy protested.

"Do you prefer to go get your hammer?" I asked, effectively ending the conversation. All in all, it was a straightforward plan. The truth was that we didn't have the cards for anything complicated. In another five trials, assuming all of us survived that long, he'd have options to choose from. Until then, we'd have to do with what was available. Mentally preparing myself, I stepped to the side, giving Cathy some space. It would be great if she could hit the goblin. Personally, I had tempered my expectations.

Hitting a small target from this distance at night was a feat in itself. Ironically, the archer card would have been quite useful in such a situation; the paladin—despite its many other benefits—not so much. Focusing on her target, Cathy froze perfectly still. Calmly, she took an arrow from her quiver and placed it in her bow. The situation was so tense that I could hear the bow bend. Then, after a few seconds, the arrow was set loose.

Accustomed to the speed, I watched it split the air on its way to the goblin leader. Despite the difficulties, Cathy had managed to target it straight on. For a moment it seemed that the creature would die there and then. A split second before I could cheer, the goblin drew both of its hatchets, slicing the projectile into three. Damn! I thought. The suddenness of the attack created mass confusion among the creatures. Goblins looked around, uncertain what to do.

This was the point at which Cathy was supposed to pull back behind the corner and run off. Instead, she drew another arrow and fired it at the crowd. One of the common goblins fell to the ground with a gurgle as the arrow struck it in the neck.

"That's enough," I said, gripping my machete. Once again, she didn't listen, downing a second enemy.

"Nshaka!" The goblin leader pointed in our direction. I felt the surge of fear forcing all the creatures in the vicinity to turn around and charge our way.

"Cathy!" I shouted, physically stepping in front of her.

"You can't take them all!" Thankfully, my comment convinced her. Reluctantly choosing not to shoot again, the woman stepped back, dashing away. With a bit of luck, she'd be able to find a good spot from which to provide support soon enough. Until then, it was all on me and Marcus.

"Forty critters," he said, tossing his dagger from hand to hand.

"Sounds like fun." I could tell that the properties of the dagger were on his mind. If anything, that was probably the reason he had agreed to help out in eliminating the creatures. Every kill boosted the properties of his weapon. Even now, it was markedly larger than it had been back in Arcana hall. A few more dozen kills and he might very well unlock its first combat ability.

"It's all fun and games until someone dies," I said beneath my breath and slashed at the nearest goblin. The second fight for survival had begun.