Chương 179

I had finished the modifications on the holograms that night, before finally going to sleep and enjoying my eight hours of instant sleep. Waking up feeling refreshed, I knew I would need to get out of the apartment, or I would pick at the songs trying to fix them, when they were already great. Feeling antsy, I knew that I needed something that would keep me moving. Squats while holding dumbbells ended up being the exercise of choice.

Hidden away in the TC gym downstairs in a corner, I was given some privacy so no one could see just how much effort I was putting into the work. Dripping with sweat, my legs felt like they were butter, but I needed just a few more reps to be satisfied. I didn't exactly enjoy the exercise, but there was a knowledge that if I could just hit the next level, and then level 10, I wouldn't need to do this ever again.

Perfect physical fitness for as long as I lived was a very tempting proposition to just keep pushing a few more. I winced as I felt my leg finally give, unable to keep myself going. I gently placed the weights down and took a second to stretch. Then because muscle pain sucks, I pulled a MaxDoc out of my pocket, I took a second to huff it, and instantly felt a tingle go down my legs. Muscles abused and at their utter limit, tingled as they were refreshed, feeling like I had just gotten up that morning.

Stretching my muscles I let myself get ready, and then picked up the weights again. I had checked, and John, wasn't around today and so behind the little corner, out of sight I went back to it. This time doing crunches. Body 9. The plan was I would earn it today! I went at it. Inhaling and exhaling as I moved, abs hauling me up and down, the extra weight in my arms making it all the harder.

Slowly my muscles refreshed from the MaxDoc started to burn, started to weaken and tire, but pain was temporary, especially when you can literally just take some medicine and feel fine a moment later. There was something very freeing about knowing that any pain I had to deal with could end in moments. Something that you knew would end, and end quickly had less fear to it. What was my body besides just a machine? What was Motoko, but a girl in the shell?

I changed exercises, push ups were easier, as my arms were chrome, but they still worked the core, and some of the muscles in my back. I was sweating, as I lowered myself to the concrete over and over. Drops falling down my nose, running over my eyes, but my Kiroshi didn't sting from the sweat, so I ignored it, and just continued on, down and up. Up and down. Muscles pushed to their limits and their limits ignored. I was cool, frozen solid as I continued to work. 100 Body XP Gained Body Leveled up!

Collapsing onto the concrete I lay there for a minute just breathing trying to catch my breath. I had done it. Body 9. I struggled for a few moments to pull another MaxDoc out of my pocket and huffed it down, and then I rose up and stretched feeling just fine. Frowning at how sweaty I was, I decided it was time to get a shower… I pressed a hand along my Leotard… Gonna need to get this adjusted a bit. It was kinda tight all of a sudden.

—-- Spending the day getting my outfits adjusted to make sure it fit wasn't what I had planned, but it kept me out of the apartment. But only for so long. As I walked inside, I stared at the guitar sitting innocently against the living room table, and felt it creeping up my spine. The realization of what was coming. I had agreed to go out on a stage and play songs for people. Living actual people. People I didn't know!

I walked over to the couch, fell to my knees, grabbed one of the cushions and slammed my face into the cushion as I screamed. What was I doing!? Only once I was done did I rise up gasping for air and then centering myself. I had agreed to do this. Hiromi was right, I was being such a gonk about it. There was nothing to be afraid of, and there was a part of me, that wanted to get up on stage and be a fucking rock star.

But that part was currently quivering behind a mental couch pretending it didn't exist for getting me into this! I shook it off. Slapping my cheeks with my cool chrome hands and breathing in and out.

"I'm not fucking Bocchi." I reminded myself. If that girl could do it, so can I! Totally ignoring Bocchi being a manga character! It still counted!

"Shake it off." I ordered myself. Having gone over all the songs already I had cleaned them up as much as I could. Each of the five tracks were ready, I was ready… Well, the songs were ready anyways. Stalking around the apartment a few minutes later I realized I was getting lost in my own head and I needed to do something. I got up and walked straight out of the house. I didn't want to bother Hiromi or the boys, they were supportive about this, but also a bit too close. Jun was out too, because he couldn't know!

So who else could I go and chat with… Wakako? The fact that thought had gone through my head told me how rattled this had made me. No, that was silly, but I did have someone else I could chat with. Jumping into the Quadra I gunned it out of the garage, heading straight towards Kabuki. —-- Lizzies was active, the start of their after work rush was just starting as I arrived, but I managed to slip into a spot without trouble and then went hunting. Rita should be here…

Well if not Rita, then Judy, but honestly Judy wasn't one I would really go to for advice. Girl doesn't exactly have her own shit together. Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author. She wasn't the outdoor bouncer, and there wasn't a line yet, so I was able to walk up to the woman at the entrance.

"Is Rita here tonight?" I asked, and the woman looked me up and down.

"Who wants to know?"

"Motoko! Rita's a choom."

"Hmm. If you say so. She's inside, check the roof."

"Thanks!" I called out rushing past and doing just that, hitting the stairs up and then bursting outside to see a basketball game going full blast, and Rita watching over the roof. Why the Mox had someone up here keeping an eye on things didn't make sense to me, but I wasn't about to question my good luck.

"Rita!" I called out as I hurried over, she had been leaning up against one of the AC units just watching the game.

"Motoko? Haven't seen you in a while kid."

"Yeah it feels like it's been forever. I haven't really done gigs that work as BD's so I haven't stopped by for Judy in a bit… But um… You got a minute?" Rita looked me over not seeing me injured or anything and she shrugged.

"Sure, you want some privacy?" She offered and I waved her off. It was fine.

"No it's nothing like that. So… I've been making some songs and stuff. One of them I made got the interest of Denny! The drummer from Samurai, it was Jazz and fun and stuck in my head, but she wanted to buy it, so I said yes."

"That's… Preem!" Rita offered perking up in surprise.

"Yeah, Hiromi did a great job getting a good deal too, but that's not it… Hiromi talked to me, after hearing another song I was making a new one technically… She convinced me to… Well get up on stage. I have an actual gig scheduled and everything, but I'm totally freaking out about it!" I turned to her, sort of looking for something, advice, wise words, anything! Instead Rita started laughing at me.

"That's amazing!" She said, offered out between giggles. Actual giggles.

"I was really hoping for more than that." I pouted.

"I'm sorry! It's not! You just look so freaked!" She continued to giggle and I pouted, and finally she managed to control herself wiping a chrome hand over her mouth to try and stop the smile across her lips.

"Okay, I'm good. Sorry."

"Mean." I mumbled back.

"Oh come on, it's funny! Motoko, I've heard you play before, you're good. And if you already sold a song, that's amazing. You have nothing to worry about, and hey, even if you fumble it, or make a mistake it's fine! You're a kid. You can only do well out there." She offered, trying to sound mature, but the way she kept wanting to break into laughter wasn't helping.

"Thanks I guess." I mumbled. So much for Rita's big sis energy… No wait, this was literal Big Sis energy. Fuck, I needed like, Mom Energy right now or something.

"So you are going to play your songs? Where at. I'd have heard about it if it was here."

"No, I don't know if my stuff fits Lizzies. I picked a bar, Red Dirt in Arroyo. It's where Samurai had their first gig, so it's special. I wanted to play there."

"When at?"

"Tomorrow night." I whispered, revealing the truth. I had so little time to mentally prepare myself! Or as was probably more likely, time to find a way to run the fuck away.

"I don't feel like I'm ready for this. If I'm really cut out to be a Rockerboy. I don't even like crowds!"

"Alright, I see you need some real words here. So here it is. Tomorrow night Motoko, take your guitar and get up on that stage and play your songs. Play them, loud and with all the emotion you can so that even the corps at the top of their towers hear you. That's what it means to be a Rockerboy." Rita said, her tone serious as she reached out and put both hands on my shoulders. Chrome to chrome.

"I will. I just feel anxious." I said and then I stopped and took a breath in and out.

"No. It's not anxiety… It's excitement." I told myself. Good advice from a past life.

"Hey! That's what I want to see. That's right!" Rita agreed, smiling.

"Of course you realize I'll have to show up now."

"I mean… If you want? You were the person that gave me the idea to play music, so if anyone deserves to hear it… It's you." I told her, looking up into her eyes, and I watched as her chrome face normally still shifted, into a look of surprise.

"God kid. Pull shit like that tomorrow, and you won't have any issues." She said, and then so quiet I couldn't quite make it out, and I'm sure I heard it wrong, she said something that sounded like.

"Damn Heartbreakers." —--- My luck of course didn't hold out. I kept expecting there to be some random occurrence, a Scav attack. Maelstrom war. Or anything that would interrupt the time of the gig. Or maybe I just hoped it would, but nothing happened. So I slipped into the Quadra, guitar in the passenger seat, music box on the floor and drove over to the Red Dirt Bar. It was time to head over, talk to the owner, and set up. At least that is what Hiromi told me. She was already there apparently?

I have no idea what madness Hiromi was plotting, but the fact she was there already told me a lot. The drive over didn't last long enough, and before I knew it I was pulling into the little parking lot beside the Red Dirt Bar. I could even see Malcolm already out there… Beside his Rayfield… Malcolm you fucking gonk, you're gonna get that thing stolen out here! I pulled up beside him and stepped out.

"Malcolm, why did you drive that?"

"Heh! You're kidding right? I'm going to a rock party tonight! Of course I need to show up!" He said waving his hand at the car.

"Malcolm if someone steals your car I'm not hunting it down."

"Okay one… Please? And two, I doubt it! The Rayfield has amazing security!" I just stared at him for a while, before he sighed.

"Should I send it home first? Catch a ride home with Ichi or something?" He asked quietly, like a kicked dog. I stared for a while, there were people starting to arrive, and it was obvious Malcolm was getting attention… I sighed, running a hand over my face to keep myself from smiling.

"If someone steals your car I'll help you get it back. Go get 'em tiger." I said, slapping him on the shoulder. There were quite a few people looking at Malcolm with interest. Good luck buddy. I headed to the passenger seat and pulled out my Guitar and Music box. Deep breaths. I turned and headed inside. The bar was tiny. One main room, a set of stairs to the second floor that was just a viewing level. One tiny bathroom, and a small storage room that led back outside. Bar to my left, and there it was…

The stage looked so much smaller than I remember. The massive Samurai mural was there, but the rest of it felt like it was barely big enough for me, much less an entire band.

"Motoko!" Hiromi cheered at me from the bar.

"Come over! Meet the owner!" Walking over the older man behind the bar gave me a look over and a nod.

"So you're Motoko Kusanagi. Well, I wish you luck kid. Payment'll get sent to your manager when you're done." He offered and then turned to take an order from an early patron.

"See! All set!" Hiromi offered and I nodded, looking away over the bar. Why was I doing this?

"Just relax Motoko! Here, c'mon!" Hiromi demanded pulling me away and towards the little storage room. I let her lead me away and then once the door was closed she spun on me.

"Motoko! You can do this!"

"I know! I'm just… It's embarrassing!" I whined childishly rubbing my face.

"Pfft. I guess even you lose some of your cool sometimes too huh?" She teased and I stuck my tongue out at her which she returned, and soon we were both giggling.

"You can do it."

"I know."

"Good! Then get dressed. Where is the outfit we got for you."

"I'm not wearing it." I told her firmly. The monstrosity that Ichi, Malcolm, and Hiromi had decided was somehow going to be my Rockerboy outfit was a definite no.

"Aww, it was sexy though."

"It's fine. This is what I'm comfortable with anyway." I was wearing my jeans, and Leotard, with my jacket on top, and I even had my fingerless gloves. Hadn't worn them in a while since I didn't need them anymore, but it felt right.

"At least the-""Hiromi, I know you think it's sexy, but it's really not me." I denied her. The less said about the hat the better.

"Fine, it's your gig after all. We have a seat up front, you should come hang out for a while." Then she leaned in with a smirk.

"Ichi has been flirting with a waitress for the last ten minutes, and fumbling with it every time."

"Okay, that I have to see." I agreed and we both smirked as I followed Hiromi back into the main room. I looked around and nodded. It wasn't very active, less than twenty people so far. Everything was good. That size of a crowd I could deal with. Settling onto the table I noticed that Malcolm was inside now, and both boys jolted as Hiromi and I arrived, and then pretended nothing was wrong.

"What are you two up to?"

"Nothing!" Both boys denied at once, only making it more obvious they were hiding something.

"Okay sure." I argued with a snort, and slipped onto the stool seating. Heaving my guitar on top along with my Music box. Now… Now I wait. It was actually pretty fun. Ichi was failing at flirting with the waitress indeed, his own overeagerness was hilarious, especially since I could scan the woman and know she was twice his age. Double hilarity. Malcolm actually had some attention from the men and women that had seen him come in with a Rayfield.

Although to Malcolms annoyance, it was mostly questions about what his dad did for a living. Hiromi though was busy, barely taking any part in the conversation as she was constantly on calls. Then, it grew closer. Twenty minutes until I was up. And in walked Junichirou Kusanagi.

"Who squealed?" I demanded, harshly looking at my chooms.

"Just tell me, I'll only kill you a little!" I hissed at the little traitors, and all three of them looked away.

"So it's treason then." I whispered out, realizing they had all betrayed me.

"Of course we had to tell Jun, Motoko! He'd have killed us if we didn't!" Ichi finally squealed first, as Hiromi waved at Jun but was distracted on a call still. I growled at the two boys before flushing as Jun walked over and pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm so proud of you." He whispered into my ear, which was just outright breaking the rules!

"So why this shit hole?" The person that had accompanied Jun asked. Alice looked over the place with a look of distaste.

"Hey!" The owner called out, but Alice just ignored him as he turned to just grumble to himself instead.

"I didn't expect you Alice… And I wanted a small place for my first gig." I answered back. She nodded at that.

"Well it is small. And Jun asked me to come, when I heard it was you playing I had to come." She offered, but I could tell that wasn't the truth, she was making eyes at Jun the whole time. Fair enough. Jun probably asked her to come since she was more musically inclined, and she knew me, not realizing Alice didn't give a shit about me. But Jun was here now! Dammit! This was supposed to be a small event! Minutes passed as Jun and Alice settled in, at another table.

There wasn't enough room at the one my chooms had claimed. To my discomfort more people were coming in, already the stereo was playing Samurai songs, and the noise was drawing in the crowd. My fingers tapping away at the table must have been obvious but not one bothered me. And time moved ever closer.