Chương 14: Interlude: Shikaku

The glass panes of the windows of the conference room trembled from the force of the shouting within. Ordinarily, being privy to two people screaming at one another would be a deeply uncomfortable experience, making the witness feel akin to an intruding voyeur. In this particular instance, there was nowhere else Shikaku would rather be on a Saturday morning than watching the Hokage verbally ripping into Danzo.

"Itachi was working with us to de-escalate the situation!" The Sandaime roared at his long-time friend.

"Your meddling has just cost us the Uchiha clan!"

"Don't be so naïve, Hiruzen," came the sharp retort.

"The Uchiha have been planning this for years; Itachi has always been a traitor."

"I wouldn't be so quick to name him a traitor when you tried to coerce him into killing his own clan!"

"You would believe a turncoat over me?" Danzo snapped back.

"You think I don't know you? Look at them!" The Hokage jabbed a finger at the many sheets of paper arrayed before the seated clan heads. There were so many that they covered the entire conference table, blanketing it from one end to the other.

"Each and every Uchiha has written ' early retirement due to impending health issues' on their resignation forms!" Shikaku bit down on his lip. He didn't know if impending murder really qualified as a health issue, but certainly, it would be hard to continue working without a pulse.

"The resignation forms." Danzo's lip curled uglily, curdling his expression from sour to bitter.

"You still think Itachi was working for us? Look at his letter." He snatched up the offending piece of paper." Thank you very much for the opportunity to work in this important position. All the experience I've gained as a triple agent has allowed me to grow as both a ninja and a person-" Danzo had to stop reading due to sheer rage.

"Do you hear this drivel!?" He crumpled the paper in his fist and slammed it back on the table.

"He's mocking us!" Shikaku had to choke down another spurt of inappropriate laughter. Despite his current amusement, the situation they found themselves in was the furthest thing from funny. An entire clan just up and leaving? One as powerful as the Uchiha? It didn't happen. Except it had, and now Konoha had never looked so weak. Already, the other nations were scrambling, looking for ways they could use this development to their advantage.

International relations would be a mess, and that wasn't even delving into the repercussions for the village itself. Shikaku knew the reason why all the clan heads had been called to this meeting was because there were fears they might go the same way. And while he didn't doubt the Hokage's outrage was sincere, it was also a display to show that indiscriminatingly culling dissenters wasn't the way they did things. Except it was. It always had been and always would be: traitors could not be allowed to live.

The Uchiha, however, were in the unique position of having left Konoha in an officially non-treasonous manner. They'd dotted their i's and crossed their t's, and now Konoha was stuck, forced to acknowledge their departure lest they renege on the founders' treaty. They legally seceded, as all clans had the right to do, and now Konoha couldn't act against them.

Any sabotage would cast them in a bad light, but at the same time, they couldn't simply allow them to get away without repercussions, since it made them look weak. Damned if you, damned if you don't. Shikaku admired the move even as he bemoaned how much trouble it had caused for the rest of them.

"That's not the only thing in the resignation forms," Chouza spoke up neutrally, very careful not to accuse anyone.

"Orochimaru always did have an obsession with the sharingan," Danzo sneered.

"I told you to kill him when you had the chance." The Hokage grimaced, the lines on his face deeper than ever. Shikaku, however, had his gaze fixed on the other. If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it. The elder had taken children from the clans before. The Nara wouldn't be surprised if some of his members in his personal division had red pinwheel eyes, just as he could imagine that not sitting well with the Uchiha.

It was interesting that they hadn't announced that nugget to the world. Shikaku guessed it was an olive branch, a gesture that they didn't want to harm Konoha more than necessary. It might also be that they didn't have sufficient evidence to present to the Daimyo when they notified him of their secession. They appealed to the civilian courts. They aired their dirty laundry for the world to see. What kind of shinobi does that? That it was effective only drove the nail in deeper.

And speaking of driving the nail deeper–"We've never paid the Uchiha rent before," Hyuuga Hiashi said dismissively, "and clan grounds belong to the clans."

"Clan grounds," Inoichi agreed.

"But what about the rest of Konoha?"

"We never paid them rent because Hashirama and Madara agreed to waive it in exchange for waiving their clan tax," Sarutobi said drily.

"While other shinobi pay a standard forty percent of their income to Konoha in exchange for medical coverage, utilities, and equipment, the Senju and Uchiha didn't pay anything." Which is why the only living costs for non-clan shinobi is food and rent, Shikaku thought. The rest of their living expenses were paid for already by their taxes.

"Only now we're not providing any of that…" Inuzuka Tsume trailed off in comprehension.

"Do we have any idea where they've gone?" The Uchiha had successfully pulled off the most daring disappearing act in shinobi history. To make matters worse, not only had all they all vanished, but they'd even managed to take their entire compound with them. The only thing they'd left behind was a gaping hole in the ground, sitting mockingly where the district had previously stood.

"None of our spies in any of the major or minor villages have heard anything. Beyond reporting their secession to the Fire Daimyo, they didn't petition any of the other lords for protection. Even the Cat Clan home is completely abandoned; Sora-ku is a ghost town," Sarutobi said to discontent mutterings. Aburame Shibi, who had been silent until now, brought things into perspective.

"The Uchiha are a high-profile clan with over two-hundred-and-fifty members, with both elderly and children. Sooner rather than later, they will be found. What we need to focus on is not where they have gone; it is what we will do once we know." Shikaku agreed. What could Konoha realistically do? What would the other nations do? What was the Daimyo going decide?... And were they really going to pay the Uchiha rent?

As expected when you gathered a room full of strong-willed people, they made absolutely no headway and adjourned for the day with nothing decided. While the clan heads went their separate ways, Shikaku and his teammates congregated at Chouza's house. By mutual agreement, none of them spoke until after they'd cracked open a jar of sake and downed two cups each. Shikaku luxuriated bonelessly in one of Chouza's deckchairs, glad to be free of the stuffy meeting room.

"Pretty ballsy of Fugaku," Inoichi finally said after a good five minutes of blissful quiet.

"I didn't think he had it in him." The Nara snorted in agreement.

"Well, you've certainly got to admire it; it's the first time an entire clan resigned due to health issues."

"They obviously didn't want to foster anymore ill will," Chouza added his opinion.

"It was an entirely bloodless operation. There were only two guys who had to stay longer than a night in the hospital: one for diarrhoea and the other with a severe sinus infection. Even Hatake was up and about the next morning." Hatake Kakashi – continuing his trend of being the unluckiest person ever – had a bout of insomnia that night and felt something off when the Uchiha started reverse summoning their members.

Instinct drove him from his house to the compound, just in time to be ambushed and knocked unconscious. He woke up to a killer headache, a gruelling interrogation, and a whole lot of paperwork that otherwise could have been avoided had he just stayed in bed.

"The political ramifications will be lasting," Inoichi said, "but what I'm more concerned about is the man they blame for the kyuubi attack." In addition to embarrassing Konoha on an international level, the Uchiha had also submitted a new bounty.

"Do you think it's really Uchiha Madara?" the Yamanaka continued.

"Or is the Uchiha clan pulling one – well, another one over on us?" Shikaku shrugged.

"The readings from the sensory division corroborate the story, but it could also have a hundred other explanations." Personally, he wasn't sure what to think. A rogue Uchiha would certainly explain a lot, but at the same time, it was such a convenient excuse. The only thing the Nara was sure about was that neither side was blameless. The Uchiha and Konoha's higher-ups had been silently feuding for over a decade; they were ninja – no one was innocent.

"What I want to know," Chouza piped up, "is who had the guts to give the Uchiha Madara, first missing-nin and bogeyman of all shinobi, a nickname like that in the first place." Shikaku snorted in agreement while Inoichi scowled down at the latest bingo book they had open on the deck table between them. A swirly orange mask looked up from the page, single red sharingan peering out as messy hair in an unmistakable style cascaded down around him.

"This is the person who unleashed the ninetails upon Konoha," Inoichi complained.

"The reason why the Yondaime died. It's hard to take him seriously when his nickname is, Madman Madara the Masked." In addition to a very respectable bounty of fifty million, the Uchiha had given him an entirely unrespectable moniker. The three friends spent the evening relaxing as much as they could, all knowing that such luxury would soon be scarce. Konoha's prestige was seriously marred and the other nations had no love for them.

The Fire Court was in turmoil, the Daimyo now intimately aware of the inner strife within the village. The Uchiha were gone, hidden away in some forgotten corner of the world, no doubt preparing for the next step of their still-unknown plan.

"One thing is certain," Chouza said solemnly as they watched the sun set over the canopy of trees, casting green leaves in a fiery glow.

"Everything is going to change."