Chương 187: Chapter 173-Chosen Boringness

I didn't think I would ever say this, but I'm tired of paradise. Don't judge. You would be too after a whole month on this island. I mean, it would be a lot more fun if I was learning about magic circles… Which I kind of am. I mean, I'm not learning the cool stuff, though. Then there's the chanting. I kind of have that down to a T. Turns out it's not that different than [Lying]. Which I'm obviously good at. A splash of water pulls me from my thoughts. An annoyed William points at me and then at the rock.

Today my chanting partner isn't Viola. She's in her room. Ruby told me she's bummed after failing to get her [Attribute-Skill]. Yet another splash of seawater finds itself straight in my nose.

"I get it. Gods, can't a man relax?" I ask. William points at his ear and then at me.

"How am I supposed to listen to your chanting if you can't speak?" With exasperation, he taps his ear again.

"Fine. I'll just do it. No need to get all angry," I say as I walk to the target. William, whose head is barely above water, gives me a glare. Guess laughing at how a wave could sweep him away is not a good move. I could just do it… No, it's low-hanging fruit… Get it? Low- The taste of salt mixed with anger graces my nose.

"I got it the first time! Just start chanting already." William brings his hands together, weaving together a mixture of hand signs. Where did he learn those? Can we really call that chanting? He then claps at me. The water ripples as a sound wave rips through the ocean and straight into me. Before I know it, I find myself clear in the sky. Hmm. This is going to hurt. A nasty slap sounds out as I crash clear into the water. Pulling my head out of the water, I spit some water out.

"William, you fucking did that on purpose." William turns his blonde head away from me.

"Don't ignore me, you ass." Julian looks down at me.

"Are you okay, my rival?"

"Doing just fine, Julian. Can't wait to get off this island, though," I say as I wipe the water from my face.

"Everyone seems to be in a foul mood," Julian says with an elegant tone.

"A month in paradise will do that to you. I'm surprised you're not in a bad mood."

"Why? Have you ever seen me in a bad mood?"

"Well, there was… actually, now that you mention it. Not really. Do you ever get angry or annoyed or tired or… annoyed?" I ask, hoping to annoy him.

"Not really. The closest I've come to breaking my elegant demeanor would have to be when you refused our challenge," he says, letting his hair glisten in the light.

"Oh yeah. Those are some nice memories. I got a cookie recipe out of that. Before I forget, I'm planning on [Cooking] something up for Hopper's birthday today. Anything you don't like?" William bobs up and down in the water as the waves slowly take him out to sea. He waves and splashes, trying to get my attention, but I'm far too busy to see him or even hear him. Maybe it has to do with that fall I took. Who really knows?

"I'm not a fan of avian meat. That's about it." A single fin crests the water behind William. He suddenly looks around right as it disappears from view. He meets my eyes with a hint of panic as a whole group of fins joins the fray. Odd, why is William playing with those barracudas? The world may never know.

"Alrighty. I was planning on hunting down a Giant Boar anyway. Don't tell Hopper. It's supposed to be a surprise." William bobs helplessly in the water as the barracudas spin him further into the sea. Should I help him? Are Dwarves buoyant? Gods, it's really a shame that I'm so distracted. Julian follows my gaze.

"Why is William being rotated by barracudas?"

"I don't know, but maybe we should help him." Julian nods as we walk right over to him. The barracudas scatter as we approach. William, who is bobbing in the water with an annoyed expression, looks up at us. He points at me.

"I would never, and even if I did. This water is only chest deep," I [Lie] with a knowing smile. He throws his hand back in anger.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Chest deep for me." All of a sudden, he starts to make hand signs rapidly. Oh shit. Without a second to waste, I trudge my way through the water.

"Why is he… What are you-" Julian's eyes go wide as William claps his hands. A sudden explosion of sound erupts from him, sending Julian, William, the barracuda, and me flying high into the sky. Landing hard on the sand, I let out an audible groan. I had that coming. A barracuda slams straight into my stomach before flopping back into the ocean. I didn't have that coming. Clara looks down at me.

"You seem to be injured," she says in her usual emotionless voice. You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

"Thank you for the observation." Standing back up, I watch as Professor Outis pulls William and Julian out of the water.

"No more sound explosions. We talked about this." Clara looks into the jungle with a confused look.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

"No. Nothing. The cook, Martin, is looking for you. He said something about spices."

"Almost forgot. Thanks, Clara." Rushing past Professor Outis, she yells out, "Don't forget to pack your bags, Chosen One. We leave tomorrow morning!"

"Got it!" With a quick [Clean], I dry myself off and head into Daisy Hall, almost running into Veronica.

"Sorry about that."

"No worries, Chosen One. I should have been looking where I'm going," she says politely.

"I was the one who was running. Speaking of running. I have to go. Thanks for taking care of us." Without waiting for her to answer, I run through the halls until I reach the kitchen. Martin rushes from one end of the room to the other, balancing pots and pans as he does. The moment he spots me, he places them on the nearby counter without spilling a single drop.

"Good, you are here. These are the spices I promised. They'll go well with pig. Although I do recommend-""Make sure to drain the pig before you butcher it. I heard you the first time, Martin." Without looking up, he peels potato after potahto.

"Don't bite my head off now. I might like you, but don't think I won't serve you underseasoned yams. I'll do it."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Want to try me?" A laugh breaks out between the two of us.

"It's a shame this is our last day. So, what do you do when we're not here?"

"I work as a personal chef now."

"Now?" I ask as he chops and dices the peeled potatoes.

"I used to be the Caretaker at Slyvian University. Sadly, I was demoted." Why does that sound familiar? Caretaker? Wait a minute… Caretaker Martin Prill. That's the guy that Shady was impersonating to get access to the mana pools under the clocktower. Ah, I guess he got demoted for that. Maybe I can explain to Al about his circumstances. Perhaps even get his job back.

"Well, thanks for the spices. I have to go and hunt a Giant Boar all by myself," I say with a long sigh.

"Why are you doing it by yourself? Can't you ask your girlfriend to help you?"

"First, I don't have a… girlfriend. Second, I'm doing it by myself because everyone else is busy," I say, protesting a bit quicker than I meant.

"Really? I thought you and the Princess were an item."

"Why would you even think that?"

"The long glances. The slight touches. Not to mention that the two of you are almost always near one another. That and the fact you turn purple like a squash when she gets too close," he quickly and mercilessly rattles off as he stirs the potatoes.

"You're crazy. I'm going to go and hunt a Giant Boar now. Have fun with those delusions of yours," I say as I quickly leave the kitchen. Stalking. Something I apparently do a lot. Maybe there's a better word for it. Prowling? No, that has more of a predator feeling to it. Shadowing? Nah, sounds like I'm doing a job. What about Pursuing? Let's not use that one. Ah, I know the one. Hunting. I'm currently hunting this big ol pig. I've actually been at it for hours at this point. So, I must not be good at it.

Gods, why couldn't I get Talon to help? He seems like the type that would be good at this, but no, 'I have to chant,' he says. The grass rustles below me. From up in the tree, I carefully palm my Leech Dagger. Is it here? The tall grass parts as the Giant Boar that dragged me away earlier comes into view. Good! Now, just step into that log trap and everything will be smooth sailing from there. The Giant Boar sniffs the air and then steps- A roar suddenly rattles the grass, the trees, the boar, and even me.

Damn fucking Drake. Can't you stay quiet? The rope tied to the log snaps, sending it flying straight into the disoriented creature. Now's my chance. Without a second to waste, I jump down and quickly stab the Giant Boar through the brain with Stabby. Giant Boar LvL. 7 has been Defeated. Okay. That worked out better than I thought. Now, all I have to do is drag this thing back with me… I didn't think this through. Shit. I quickly slash the throat of the Giant Boar with Stabby. Can't forget to drain it of blood.

At the same time, I tie its legs together with dried vines and a large sturdy branch. Okay, this should do it. From the branch, I hoist the body up on my shoulder. Guess my 22 in [STR] isn't for nothing. In no time at all, I find myself back on the beach. Huh, where did everyone go? Actually, where's Daisy Hall? Did I end up on the wrong side? I wouldn't be surprised. I'm terrible with directions. As I step forward, I notice multiple footsteps in the sand. No, this is where we were. Did they move for some reason?

"Man, this is a real bore. ~Yawn," a woman sleepily says from behind me. Every part of my being screams out, trying to warn me. DANGER! Before I can even drop the Giant Boar, my entire vision goes upside down. My body flops down on the ground, landing in front of me. How is this… What… I… I'm Dead. Tick. Soul Damage Detected. Skill <Soul Res. > has removed the Soul Damage. I shoot up from the sand, my body shaking as I try to catch my breath. Touching my neck, I let out an audible sigh of relief. Thank the Gods.

It was just a bad dream. I didn't get my neck cut off or anything like that. That would've been crazy… I mean, it felt so real, but it had to be a dream, right?

"You're showing signs of stress," Brown chimes in.

"I just had a nightmare. Also, are you finally finished with your business?"

"What business?" she asks in confusion.

"You know the business… When did I get here?" This isn't where Daisy Hall is, but it looks oddly familiar. Why does it look so familiar, and why was I sleeping on the sand? Looking down at my clothes, I recognise my uniform. Did somebody change me in my sleep?!

"CJ?" Hopper asks as he steps out from the treeline.

"Oh, Hopper! I didn't expect you so quickly," I say as I wonder why Penelope wasn't keeping him busy.

"Sorry? The forest is filled with monsters. Had to take the scenic route in order to avoid them. The rest of the group isn't that far off. Are you okay?" he asks with a worried look.

"We've had this conversation before, havn't we?" I ask in confusion.

"I doubt it. Damn, that teleportation mishap really has you all out of sorts, doesn't it?"

"What are you talking about? That was a month ago. Why would it be-""A month ago? What are you talking about? It's only been a couple of hours, CJ," Hopper says without a hint of a lie. No. That can't be right. Looking around at everything, I finally recognize this place. This is where I arrived a month ago after the teleportation incident. Then that means… I really did die. What the fuck!?