Chương 135: Date Night

Joe eventually swallowed his pride and congratulated both Corel and Esha on becoming the highest-levelled Human and Voldura on Thropia. He was absolutely not jealous or envious in any way. Not at all. These very convincing thoughts were still echoing in his mind when he awoke to a strange, pressing sensation on his chest. He blinked and rubbed the sleep from his eyes with a wide yawn, then tried to roll onto his side. Something pinned him down. He reached out with one hand and gave a slender leg a gentle squeeze.

Nothing happened. Joe finally opened his eyes and stared up at Esha, who was seated comfortably on his chest, nibbling on something that looked suspiciously like a peanut.

"What are you doing?" Joe asked, yawning once more.

"Wahfating forr doo too brweakthrruuu," Esha mumbled as she popped another peanut-looking thing into her mouth. Joe groaned and gently lifted her, planting her on the bed beside him. She kept her legs crossed the entire time, staring at him and calmly plucked another peanut from the bag in her hand. Joe rolled his eyes and headed toward the bathroom to wash his face. He had taken only two steps when a familiar weight latched onto his back. A chin rested on the top of his head, and crumbs fell onto his cheek.

Joe walked into the bathroom, ignoring Esha as best he could while he brushed his teeth and washed his face.

"Yufu mssh one," Esha said, pushing a finger into his mouth and pointing at a tooth.

"Ack!" Joe exclaimed as he removed her finger and scowled at her in the mirror. She gave him the most innocent look he had ever seen on her, as if this was perfectly normal behaviour. Joe groaned again and finished drying his face, pointedly pretending she did not exist. For an entire day, Esha remained glued to his shoulders. Even when Corel appeared, she acted as though the situation was entirely normal, giving Joe a quick head-bump before hopping up to plant a kiss on Esha's cheek.

Joe stared in disbelief as Corel waved cheerfully and vanished.

"Traitor," Joe grumbled. This continued for three full days before Joe finally cracked.

"Seriously? Don't you have anything better to do?" he demanded, staring up at Esha as she leaned forward and popped another peanut into her mouth.

"Nope."

"How many of those things do you have?" Joe asked, eyeing the bag in her hands. Esha's eyes glazed over for a moment before she answered.

"Eight hundred and forty-two." Joe just shook his head. Finally deciding he had endured her joke long enough, he started prying her legs from his shoulders. This, of course, only made Esha clamp down with her full strength as she tried to stop him. Thus began a two-hour tussle, during which Joe tried, and mostly failed, to remove Esha from his back. When he finally achieved victory, he was greeted by a large round of applause from the onlookers, who whooped and clapped with abandon.

"You could have helped," Joe grumbled as he shot Gao and Alice a glare. They only laughed harder before Esha pulled Gao into a hug.

"Whatever," Joe muttered, before vanishing at last, finally free to move normally again. He reappeared at the teleportation array, his recent days of torment having sparked a thought he could no longer ignore. It was time for a small journey to Relashra. Joe arrived and was greeted by two Volduran soldiers, who bumped heads with him before giving formal salutes.

"Feormere. Are you here on a formal visit?" one of them asked.

"Not this time," Joe replied.

"I was hoping to ask if Varaiya is available?" Both soldiers nodded and escorted him to a building he had not seen before. Inside, he was greeted by another pair of Voldura, whom he recognized and who waved away the following guards.

"Gentlemen," Joe said with a smile.

"It's been a while. Forgive me for not remembering your names."

"Greetings, Feormere, I am Clyd, and this is Garro. Welcome to Relashra. Are you here for any particular reason?"

"Yes," Joe replied.

"Indeed, I am. I came to ask if Varaiya was available. I don't have an appointment or anything." Both Voldura bowed, and Garro quickly hurried off.

"We will inform the matriarch of your arrival. Please follow me," Clyd said, gesturing for Joe to follow.

"Varaiya is the matriarch now? Did she get a promotion?"

"Yes," Clyd replied simply. Joe tried his hardest to picture the petite Voldura as a matriarch, but the image refused to form. That might have had something to do with the… personal nature of their relationship, sharing a bed on more than one occasion, something he would never mutter aloud. He coughed lightly to clear his throat. He was soon guided to a quiet room occupied by a single elderly Voldura. The elder turned her head as Joe entered, her brow scrunching in curiosity.

Joe didn't recognize her, so he stepped forward and offered a deep, respectful bow. As he straightened, Joe noted the mature lines on the elder's face. Her shoulder-length hair was tied in multiple braids that draped neatly around her horns, and a very flirtatious smile rested on her lips. He had to admit, even though she looked old enough to be his mother, she was strikingly handsome, with an odd, commanding air about her. She also wore a low-cut top that put Corel's leathers to shame.

"Greetings, Elder, I am Joe. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"I know who you are, Feormere," she replied.

"I am Eckia. Do you prefer to be called Joe or Progenitor?" Eckia asked with a sly smile, openly eyeing him from head to toe. Joe suddenly felt like prey beneath a hawk's gaze and shuffled his feet.

"Joe is fine. No need for formalities," he said, standing a little straighter for reasons he didn't quite understand. Eckia smiled wider.

"You are more handsome the closer I look at you. I understand why Corelliandra stays so close to you. Come here, boy, let me smell you." She waved him forward. Joe assumed she was joking and stepped closer. When she abruptly grabbed his head, pressed his face against her chest, and inhaled deeply, he froze entirely, his mind blank.

A moment later, she bumped her forehead lightly against his and sent him a fleeting memory of her husband's burial, something Joe didn't fully understand, but recognized as a show of respect. When she released him with a wink, Joe bowed quickly, doing his best to regain his composure.

"I assume you know Corel well?" he asked, choosing to ignore the last twenty seconds entirely.

"She is like a daughter to me," Eckia said calmly.

"I once bedded her father." Joe gaped at her. She laughed and waved it off.

"Tell me, Joe. What brings you here today, to Relashra, in… secret?" she asked, her smile turning knowingly seductive. Joe was starting to think this elder was dangerous.

"I came to find Varaiya," he replied honestly, "to ask her for advice."

"Oh?" Eckia purred.

"Do tell. What could the number-one ranker need advice on? I assume this involves Corelliandra? Is she with child yet?" Joe coughed and lost all sense of coherent thought.

"I… uh… I hope not. At least, I don't think so. In fact… is that even possible? I don't know how it works for Voldura." His thoughts spiralled. Had that been a possibility all along? Eckia laughed heartily.

"Do I need to explain the birds and the bees to you, human? Would you like to sit on my lap while I do?" she asked, patting her thigh and winking. Joe shook his head quickly.

"I think I know how it works. Wait, did you say birds and the bees? Do you also have that saying among the Voldura?" Eckia nodded.

"It's a simple enough analogy." She rose to her feet and clapped her hands once.

"Now, as much as I enjoy teasing you, let us go find Varaiya. She will want to join in on making you uncomfortable." She headed for the door without waiting.

"Could we not do that?" Joe pleaded as he followed. Eckia only laughed. A confused and thoroughly bewildered Joe followed Eckia into what he assumed was Varaiya's office. Eckia moved with complete authority, and not a single Voldura challenged them as they passed, which only added to his growing unease. Varaiya shot to her feet when they entered, then paused as she took in Joe's ashen expression.

She laughed lightly before greeting Eckia with a head bump, then turned and gave Joe the same greeting, leaning close to whisper in his ear.

"Congratulations on surviving Eckia," she whispered with a chuckle before returning to Eckia's side.

"What brings you both here today?" Varaiya asked.

"Joe here needs some advice on love and babymaking," Eckia said brightly, before Joe immediately jumped in.

"Romance!" he corrected, exasperated.

"I would like some advice on romance! Not.. babymaking." Eckia tsked at his interruption but didn't argue, while Varaiya shook her head, amused.

"Romance?" Varaiya asked.

"What kind of romance advice were you looking for?" Joe stepped forward as both Voldura eyed him like a choice cut of meat. He was starting to think this had been a terrible idea, but he was far too deep to retreat now, so he sighed and pressed on.

"I was just hoping to find out what kinds of activities Corel might enjoy as a couple," he said carefully.

"Like, does she enjoy long walks in the moonlight? Or swimming at night? Or…" Eckia clapped her hands excitedly, cutting him off.

"Yes! All of those. But I have a better idea. Also, this discussion needs more minds. Let me gather the others." Before Joe could even ask who the others were, Eckia vanished. He turned toward Varaiya, silently pleading for an explanation.

"Nothing can stop her once she gets going," Varaiya said.

"I don't think you fully understand the snake you've just released from its cage." Joe had a sinking feeling that he understood perfectly and briefly considered fleeing back to Landradad, but he forced himself to stand his ground. Soon enough, Joe found himself seated in a room filled with six elderly Voldura women, along with Varaiya and Eckia. They spoke animatedly, eagerly suggesting ideas for what they deemed the perfect evening date for him and Corel.

"He should cook for her, then eat pumppoo beside a lake before taking hallucinogenic pills," one elder suggested.

"No," another countered.

"She cooks better than he does. He should take her riding on one of those elephants we saw in the wildlands. Then, hallucinogenic pills, followed by mating beneath the moonlight." Joe listened in stunned silence, increasingly alarmed by how many suggestions involved drugs, visions, or both.

"Sorry to interrupt," he finally said.

"But are hallucinogenic pills commonly used by Voldura?" Every elder nodded emphatically.

"You have the look of someone who has experienced such nights many times," one of them observed.

"Does Corelliandra drug you often?" Joe hesitated, very aware that there was no correct answer to that question.

"She has… on numerous occasions," Joe admitted. Eckia nodded.

"Marking her territory. Smart. I can still smell her on you." Joe's mouth hung open at that. Marking her territory? Surely not. He turned to Varaiya, who merely nodded along with the others.

"She has claimed you long ago. She was never one to miss an opportunity that presented itself so… willingly." Varaiya said with a wink. Joe didn't know what to say to that, so he said absolutely nothing at all. He simply listened as they offered more and more ideas, all of which, at some point or another, involved drugs. This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

Even though some of the suggestions were outrageous, to say the least, Joe felt he was learning a great deal about Volduran romance. In essence, it was similar to human romance, except it often involved a third party. A close friend, sister, or cousin. He wasn't entirely sure if the cousin part was true, or simply something Varaiya had added for obvious reasons. Still, it made him more understanding of Corel's insistence on involving a third partner at night, and he resolved not to be so prudish about it anymore.

Unless it involved Esha, he still hadn't forgiven her for her boasting and endless torture.

"How about a boat ride along a lake?" Varaiya added.

"There is a very large lake south of here. One big enough that you can not see the end of it when standing on the shore."

"Excellent idea, Rai," Eckia said.

"With a spot of fishing and some high-potency pills…" That last suggestion actually sounded rather appealing. Joe couldn't remember the last time he had gone fishing. He decided to speak up before they moved on.

"I like that idea. Are there any speciality dishes involving fish you can suggest?" he asked. All eyes turned on him, and for a moment, he wondered if he had asked something taboo.

"Can you cook, Joe?" Eckia asked.

"Yes. In fact, I'm a little peckish. Would you ladies mind joining me for a meal? My treat." Joe was met with a chorus of yeses, accompanied by raised eyebrows and questioning glances.

"He can't possibly be any good at cooking. But I'm willing to let him make a fool of himself," one particularly grumpy elder commented. Joe let the broad smile spreading on his face say everything as he pulled out his oven and began preparing a meal fit for a king. Joe's culinary prowess had only improved over the last years he'd spent using mana to infuse his cooking.

So now he sat, in an almost euphoric state of satisfaction as every single elder, along with Varaiya and Eckia, dug into his meal, their expressions filled with awe and pure, moreish bliss. Few things were more satisfying than shocking someone with the tastiest food they had ever eaten. Varaiya settled beside him, offering a gracious smile as she ate with unabashed enthusiasm. Only then did he notice just how close she was, their legs touching.

He couldn't shift away to give her space, as Eckia occupied his other side, pressing in even closer, uncomfortably so. She kept leaning over his plate to grab something conveniently placed in front of Varaiya, and every time she did, she brushed her… cough … chest against him, none too subtly.

"Eckia," Joe tried to begin casually. She blinked at him mid-bite, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Yes, dear?" she asked, wearing a look of complete innocence.

"Could you scooch over a tad? It's a little warm in here," he asked politely. She laughed and just pushed in even closer, practically draping her leg over his. Joe sighed and gave up, as Varaiya joined in, squeezing him from the other side. It took every ounce of self-control he had not to pick them both up and drop them on their asses.

"Oh, stop being a spoilsport," Eckia chided, giving his chest a light slap.

"Corelliandra would only encourage us. We aren't prudish humans. Just have fun. If you end up in my bed later… Well, Corelliandra will understand."

"Absolutely not!" Joe said. Eckia giggled and lightly brushed a finger over his chest.

"I'm joking, Joe. But I am interested in seeing your bond tattoo. After that, I promise to keep my hands to myself. Unless Corelliandra allows it." Joe exhaled dramatically, but he did pull down his yoga top and reveal his tattoos, which were promptly examined with wide eyes and jealous looks.

"Only two?" Eckia asked.

"Yes. I have no plans for a third," Joe assured her.

"Shame. If only I were younger," Eckia sighed, finally scooching over and giving Joe room to breathe. He had to admit, the old Voldura was attractive in a wizened, aged way, so he offered her a compliment in gratitude.

"You are a very handsome Voldura, Eckia. If I myself were older, we might have had a chance together. But alas, fate is fickle," he said with a smile and a gentle pat on her leg. She promptly jumped on him, and he regretted ever opening his mouth. After everyone was fed and satisfied, and Varaiya had pried Eckia off of him, Joe sat outside, gazing up at the evening sky as two moons became visible. Had there always been two? As he lingered in quiet contemplation, Varaiya appeared and took a seat beside him.

"I'm sorry about Eckia," Varaiya said. Joe waved his hand.

"Don't worry about it. I know she was… partially joking," he said with a chuckle.

"It shows that she sees you as one of us, and not just some human. So take it as a show of respect," Varaiya said with a nod. Joe returned it.

"I spend so much time around Rel, I sometimes forget we are from different races, with very different cultural customs."

"Do you plan to ask her to a bond of rites?" Varaiya asked, not meeting his gaze. Joe considered the question for a long moment. Marriage? He hadn't truly thought about it. Most days, he barely looked beyond surviving the Integration. Maybe, if he made it out alive, it could be a possibility.

"I'm not sure. I don't know if I even deserve that. I'm sure she suffers when I'm off doing something crazy. Though it's never on purpose," he added, the last more for himself than anything else.

"Oh, I'm sure the benefits outweigh the drawbacks," Varaiya said, giving his head a light flick.

"She adores you, even if she doesn't tell you that. She's a little withdrawn in that aspect, but you're having a good influence on her. Who knows, maybe she'll ask you to put a child in her." Joe gave her a look that made it clear he hoped not, at least not yet. Varaiya chuckled and finally stopped teasing him.

"Come. I have a dress I want you to see. One I prepared for Cor. I think you'll like it." Eckia appeared as if from nowhere, and Joe followed the two Voldura to Varaiya's house, where she revealed the dress she had made for Corel. He was deeply impressed and allowed his thoughts to wander, right up until Eckia offered to try it on first. That was when Joe picked up the old Voldura and dunked her head into a barrel of water outside.

She sputtered in exasperation, only to quickly learn that punching the strongest man in their world merely resulted in pain for herself. She settled for grumbling in mock anger instead. With everything said and done, Joe confirmed his plans for date night and began making preparations. It took him the following day to finish, and now he sat alone in Varaiya's house while she travelled to Landradad to fetch the unsuspecting Corel.

Joe concealed himself beneath a cloaked veil as Corel was guided inside by her cousin and gently encouraged to try on a very special dress for absolutely no reason at all. He suspected she had already sensed something was amiss, but she followed Varaiya's instructions regardless, stepping willingly into the unknown. When she was led back outside, sunlight spilling across the open space, her gaze finally found the orchestrator of the day.

Joe knelt before her, the veil falling away as he offered a bundle of rich purple flowers. For a long, suspended moment, Corel simply looked at him, her lashes fluttering as she shifted her weight and allowed him a full view of the dress Varaiya had crafted. The turquoise fabric clung delicately to her bodice before cascading into flowing skirts that caught the light with every subtle movement, accentuating her form in a way that was both elegant and devastating. Joe's breath left him in a rush.

His jaw slackened, awe striking him silent as he took in the unmatched beauty before him. In that instant, certainty settled deep within his chest. He would climb the highest mountain, face the fiercest dragon, and brave any fate this world could offer if it meant witnessing Corel in such a sight again. Many, many times over. Slowly, reverently, he drew himself to his feet, shaking free of the haze that threatened to claim him as their eyes met.

The violet moons of her gaze shimmered beneath the midday sun, and it took every shred of sense and dignity he possessed not to close the distance between them right then. Instead, he pressed a hand to his chest and smiled.

"So this was what you've been doing in secret?" she asked softly, accepting the flowers and inhaling their scent.

"I just thought it was time we had a private date together." With a deep bow, Joe offered her his hand.

"Corel Relashra, my heart and bond. Would you do me the honour of accompanying me today on a very special date?" Corel blushed more deeply than he had ever seen, her fingers tightening around his as she nodded, words seemingly beyond her reach. For a fleeting moment, he was ready to whisk her away alone, but when he noticed her glance toward Varaiya, he smiled and turned gently toward her cousin.

"Variaya Relashra, cousin of my heart and close friend. Would you do us the honour of joining us today to celebrate this special occasion?" Varaiya accepted his hand and gave him a deep curtsy, something he had never seen a Voldura do before, and clearly learned elsewhere"It would be my honour," she said; both she and Corel beamed at him. He knew he had done right by that, and Corel showed her appreciation by planting a long, lingering kiss on his lips.

During the kiss, Varaiya quickly changed into a matching dress, one Joe had no idea she had prepared. Laughing, he offered both of them his arms and led them off toward their date. The date began with a smooth, unhurried elephant ride toward the southern reaches of the Relashran city, the great Beast's steady gait lending the moment a gentle rhythm.

Warm air brushed past them as the city slowly gave way to open paths, until they disembarked beside a waiting boat lavishly adorned with ruffles, trailing streamers, and an abundance of flowers that perfumed the air. The boat slipped free, helmed by a sharp-looking Voldura and two young boys whose easy confidence spoke of long familiarity with this region.

As they glided south toward the lake, one boy began to play a stringed instrument reminiscent of a guitar, while the other hummed a well-known Volduran melody beneath his breath. Soon, all three found themselves clapping along, laughter rising as the conversation drifted into how Joe had first met the boys and somehow learned the song. He merely shrugged and said he was observant, that he liked to take note of the small, passing moments most people overlooked.

When they reached the lakeside, they were welcomed by a thoughtfully prepared picnic, soft cloths, neatly arranged snacks, and bottles of wine catching the light. They ate and drank together, lingering in easy conversation as the day stretched on. Corel enjoyed herself perhaps a little too much, warmth blooming in her cheeks as she grew tipsy and increasingly affectionate, her touches lingering longer than before. Joe gently steadied her, murmuring reassurances that everything she wanted could wait.

The lake, after all, still called to them. They boarded a smaller boat and drifted onto the water, the boat rocking softly as multicoloured fish darted beneath the surface, flashes of living colour swirling below. Joe reached into his ring and produced three fishing rods, his smile turning mischievous.

"Ladies. Should we place a bet on who can catch the biggest fish?" he suggested, waggling his eyebrows. Corel's grin widened, her competitive spark flaring despite the wine.

"What does the winner get?" she asked, her words just a touch unsteady.

"How about this?" Joe said lightly.

"Tonight, the winner has full control, and can order the two losers to do absolutely anything they want… within reason, of course." That was more than enough. Both Corel and Varaiya focused with sudden intensity, all laughter giving way to determined concentration as lines were cast and reels spun. Hours slipped by unnoticed as they fished, laughed and teased one another, and drank far more than was sensible. In the end, it became clear that both women were far more skilled than Joe had expected.

He was soundly defeated, coming in last, while Varaiya claimed victory and Corel pouted dramatically at her loss. Joe leapt to his feet in time to stop Corel from shoving her cousin into the lake… or so he thought. In the next heartbeat, both women turned on him instead, lifting him with surprising coordination before sending him splashing overboard. Their laughter rang across the water as they drifted back toward shore, leaving Joe sputtering in the lake, grinning despite himself.

As the sun dipped toward the horizon, they settled beneath the mingling glow of candles and moonlight along the lakeshore, the water reflecting gold and silver as they shared stories and laughter.

"And then, Joe said the most stupid thing I have ever heard him say…" Corel began, much to Joe's dismay, launching into an exceedingly detailed retelling of the events that led to her very first Varvara eclipse with him.

"Can't you just share with her the memory?" Joe asked, exasperation creeping into his voice as he desperately wished to avoid reliving that strange, confusing night.

"No!" Corel and Varaiya shouted in unison, and Corel resumed her narration. Joe surrendered with a sigh, leaning back and only interjecting when she stumbled or outright lied. Eventually, the story reached the moment itself.

"And then I knew, with certainty, that I wanted him right there and then. So I activated my eclipse…" she spread her hands dramatically. Joe shot upright as if struck by lightning.

"Wait! You said that eclipses activated by chance and because of fate. This is the first I'm hearing that you did it yourself." His disbelief was plain. She had assured him she hadn't meant for it to happen, that she had no control. Corel flushed so deeply she turned crimson, realizing she had finally let her biggest lie slip. Joe had no intention of letting it go and demanded an explanation, but Varaiya swiftly came to her cousin's defence.

"Joe, you really don't know anything about women, do you?" Varaiya said sharply.

"She's only embellishing the story for my benefit. What she told you was true. We have very little control over our Varvara, and it is entirely your fault for triggering it. Now stop embarrassing my cousin and drop it!" She leaned in and began poking him repeatedly on the chest.

"Okay! Sorry! Can you stop that now, please!" Joe protested. She did not stop. In fact, she pounced on him, quickly joined by a no longer crimson Corel, who added her own enthusiastic pokes to his face.

"Ladies! Ladies please! I'm sorry. I was wrong!" Joe exclaimed, but it was far too late. His punishment had only just begun.

"Joseph Caldwell! By decree of the winner of the fishing bet, you must lie there, and you may not stop us from assaulting you!" Varaiya declared, She promptly licked her finger and stuck it in his ear. Joe abandoned any remaining resistance and accepted his fate as indignities piled atop one another. The assault lasted a full ten minutes before they finally rolled off him in fits of giggles.

"That was completely unfair," Joe complained as he reached for more wine, deciding that intoxication was the only way he would survive the rest of the night. The duo eagerly joined him, and bottle after bottle disappeared. Before long, they were swimming and dancing naked beneath the moons, laughter echoing across the lake. At some point, amid the haze of drunken movement and music, Eckia joined them… a detail Joe barely registered as he endured trial after trial for hours on end. They painted him.

They drugged him. They rode him like a pony. Somehow, he woke hours later in a room he didn't recognize, tangled in a bed with three naked Voldura wrapped around him, two of them drooling on his face. He tried to remember if there was something important he was forgetting, but before he could even move, a tongue slipped into his mouth. For the life of him, he had no idea whose it was. The next afternoon, Joe awoke with absolutely no memory of how the night ended.

All three naked Voldura were still wrapped around him, and for once, he was grateful for the blank space in his recollection.

"I'm sure nothing untoward happened anyway. We were far too drunk," he mumbled before surrendering to sleep once more. Sometime later that day, Joe and Corel finally extricated themselves from Eckia's house, their memories fragmented and unreliable. Joe very deliberately ignored the bite marks healing along his shoulders, arms, legs, back, and stomach. He also ignored the inconvenient fact that they were clearly three different sizes. He continued to ignore it until he was satisfied with his own explanation.

He ignored, aswell, the wink Eckia gave him as he left.