Chương 33: Day Thirty-Three

Dear Diary, I swear, some days I'm just The Checklist of Dumbest Ideas Ever. First, I stayed up late last night playing with my Spells, trying to get even one of them to show up as a 'Skill'. No dice. I got pretty good and pretty quick with all of them, especially 'Stabilize', which I got to the point I could do it with one hand in under a second. I could do all this wacky shit, but no Skill, but Saffron got a Skill and all she can do is do it the normal, boring way.

I mean, it makes sense that Memory ought to be related to how fast you learn stuff, and she's just baller at Memory compared to my 'I remember stuff once in a blue when it doesn't matter', but still. I decided then to ask her next time I saw her how many times she cast Status before it Skilled up. So for the first time Remedial Standardized Celtic wasn't too bad.

I mean, I still didn't learn much, but with Loki sitting beside me like my very own Special Ed Learning Assistant, I managed to learn the words for 'My', 'Name', 'Is', and how to 'sign' my name. I mean, apparently it's that 'perfect handwriting serial killer' signature, but whatever. Definitely not the kind of accomplishment I'd put on a resume, but progress is progress, y'know?

Also, according to a muttered conversation between Sister Cheryl, who along with all her other hats teaches Remedial Celtic, and Sister Trease, who stopped by to dig up dirt on me, prior to this year PCHA didn't really have Remedial classes. Apparently Sister Trease thinks we still shouldn't have them, and tried to get Sister Cheryl onto Team Expel Tabitha. Y'know, Sister Cheryl, the one who went looking for Candidates in Camden Yard?

The one whose recruits are the reason why we have Remedial classes in the first place? Yeah. Having seen her twice and interacted with her once, I'm thinking Sister Trease isn't the sharpest knife in the block. So at any rate, Loki and I worked via the time-tested 'write something slowly and carefully two hundred and fifty times, which will sear it into your brain like a brand' method. It's as painful as it sounds. It works, or should I say, 'Hooked On Brain Brands Worked For Me!'

Shit, now I've got to have him teach me those words now. I asked him if he wanted to try the Dining Hall lunch and, much to my surprise, he said 'sure', then followed me down. I really should have been more on edge at how fast he agreed. We got down to the Dining Hall and he slid into the seat next to me, looked around at the rest of the ROTC and goblincore kids and said, "So, will you be introducing me to your friends here?" I swear I'd forgotten his portfolio or something.

With a stifled sigh and a great deal of swallowed panic to go with the sausage I had to swallow whole to answer, I smiled brightly and looked around the table.

"That's Saffron," I pointed to her, although she looked a little miffed.

"That's Angel," I pointed to Angel, who waved with the drumstick she held in one hand.

"And that's Bill," I pointed to Bill, who smiled at Loki and said, "good to meet you," followed by a real pointed pause. I deliberately ignored his hint and said, "That's... uh... what's your name?" and pointed at one of the gobbos, who stuttered and replied, "Fred." I pointed to the next one and said, "and you are?" They answered "Raven", although she stuttered a little, like her name was something else but she decided to change it on the spot. Go Raven, I'm down for it.

"And finally, we have?" I pointed at the third gobbo, who said, "Bonita, but everybody calls me Bonnie."

"That's a beautiful name, Bonita," said Loki, giving me just a moment longer to catch my breath and my brain.

"And this is the guy who's been helping me learn written Celtic, what with my cut-rate tutor teaching me written English instead. Everybody, meet Lyman, Lyman, this is everybody." This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience. Hey, it was the best I could come up with on short notice. There was no cause for him to go laughing his ass off like that. Also, it might have helped a little if Bonita hadn't said, "is he your boyfriend?"

That not only got him laughing so hard he fell off the bench, but Saffron got up and walked off in a huff, saying she had to go to the Infirmary. At that point I just shut my fuckin' pie hole and ate lunch. Okay, I stopped talking, because you can't very well eat with the pie hole shut. Suffice to say by the end of lunch I had some aggression to work off.

I walked to the front entrance, told them I was going for a walk to City Hall and back to settle my stomach, declined the escort, and made a bee line for the alley I'd been accosted in the other day. Somewhere near the entrance I lost Loki, but that felt fine with me, so I kept walking. Because I am, and stop me if you've heard this one or I lose you with the fancy jargon, a Dumb Bitch. So I get to the alley, and since I'm going the other way, I see Marie Jr. in the shadows leaning against the dumpster.

From this angle I even saw his buddies Short and Shorter, not to mention the trio of hangers-on dangling their legs off a fire escape. I walked straight up to him; he rose as I neared conversational distance. Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dipshit just crouched, looking like runners getting ready to sprint. I plastered on my fakest smile and said, "Hey! I think we got off on the wrong foot Tuesday. My name's Tabitha. What's yours?" I held out one hand in the universal 'let's shake' gesture.

He approached, and in the background I saw his three flunkies crawl down the wall like spiders. Not a heartwarming image, trust me. His little buddies did a kind of side-crawl up the wall beside them until they hovered with their feet just off the ground. Marielette himself grabbed me by the wrist and, when I grabbed his, tugged me to him.

I think he meant to do a 'snug me in and loom', but while he was taller than me, it wasn't by more than three inches, so his 'loom' got a little less loomy and a little more intimate. Then he said, 'Hey, Tabitha. I'm Rocky, and these..." I couldn't help it. The second it registered I snickered, and snugged in close to him he couldn't miss it.

Also, I failed to control my snicker because when he spoke a wave of well past the sell by date meat wafted over me, and I had all I could do controlling my instinct to recoil vomiting. He still had one hand behind himself, trying to tuck my arm around him. He brought the other up and grabbed my hair. I brought my knee up into his crotch, and while my new Thighs of Thunder didn't really let me get between his legs, my abortive kick had a lot more kick to it than I expected.

He winced and pulled a bit at my hair, and I responded by yanking my head forward. Hard. My forehead crashed into his nose; I don't know if he'd had it set, or if he healed fast, or what, but it made a satisfying 'crunch' sound for the second time this week, and he staggered back. I grabbed his hand with my hair in and squeezed, forcing him to let go. I backed up a few steps and turned sideways, my right hand hidden behind me, half closed.

He straightened with an angry scream and came at me, one hand swinging wildly. I caught it with my left, my palm stinging where it hit something metal as it tried to slide out of his sleeve. Before he could do more than curl his free hand into a fist, I brought my right around, hitting him square in the chest. With as much Mana as I could dump into a Stabilize.

It Stabilized him right into the ground, where he lay in a puddle of something awful leaked from the dumpster, adding his own distinctive stink to it when he apparently lost bladder control. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as I looked at his flunkies and said, "fuck with me again, and I stop playing nice." Tweedle Shorter whined, "this is you playing nice?" while Tweedle Stupider said, "we'll report you!" I looked Tweedle Stupider right in the eye and replied, "yeah.

You go ahead and tell them you and your glorious leader tried to mug a Cadet. Twice. See how far that gets you." While he spluttered, and after I saw Rocky draw a shuddering breath, then start breathing more-or-less normally for a mouth-breather, I met each of his minion's gazes and said, "don't. Fuck. With. Me... Capice?" They all backed down. I took that as agreement, turned on my heel, and walked back to the Academy. I learned something more than how to write my name today.

I learned it feels really good, in that Big Girl Special Way, to be a Badass. Who knew?