Chương 207: Day Two Hundred And Five

Dear Diary, Some days I think the strangest thing of all is how hard we all strive for normalcy. Or, y'know, how we find our way back there without really trying to, maybe? So yesterday after I Revived Lachlan and his brother declared his undying loyalty or something like that, I gotta say the entire situation weirded me out. On the other hand, I'd seen how Lachlan's death hit Larry. He wasn't faking his grief, he'd been faking holding it together until his cousins left the room.

So when Larry took a knee in front of me and offered his sword, burning the shit out of his left hand as he did, I had no real idea what to do. So I did my normal thing and just made shit up as I went along. I reached down and put my hand around Larry's right hand, gently lifting him and his sword. As I did, I felt the sword through his palm; a Boon I'd given him. I guess that meant I could make an anti-Mana Blade like that one, not that I really wanted to. The way it anti-crackled and hissed hurt my head a little.

I pulled it back into the hilt of the sword as Larry stood, then pulled some Mana and Healed his hand. Unlike the pink new skin I'd come to expect from Healing, instead he had a smooth patch of skin like an old burn scar.

"You did good, Larry." Just about then Lachlan puked again. I leaned over and tagged him with another Heal, just to be sure he didn't kill himself puking up the accumulated crap he'd generated while sick. When his coughing fit ended, he looked up at me almost like a kid looking at their mom after skinning his knee.

"I'm... not worthy."

"Nani the fuck?" Larry snorted out a single bark of laughter, then looked at clean, empty air where the blade of his sword should be.

"I suppose it was too good to last?" I shrugged.

"Try calling for it?" His eyes got real big when that light drinking blade extended from his sword hilt, and didn't get smaller when it shrank so he could put it away. Without a blade, it wouldn't stay with his sheath, so he just shrugged and tucked the hilt into his jacket pocket.

"That's going to take some getting used to." I shot him a crooked smile.

"You seemed to get the hang of it pretty well dealing with that she-bitch who insulted your brother." He smiled, closing his eyes and shaking his head as he did.

"I meant finding a way to store it so it draws easily, without being able to sheathe it." Right about then, Lachlan started bawling like a baby. Both Larry and I walked around the bed to where he lay curled up in the fetal position. Larry reached for him, but the moment he touched Lachlan's shoulder, the big moron's arms snapped out and hugged my thighs to him. He kept bawling, and not only was he making my thighs wet with his tears, he'd pulled me off balance.

Before I fell over top of him, I twisted around to sit on the edge of the bed. He kept crying and clinging to me. I looked up at Larry, who shrugged, so I just started patting his hair like I'd do to the menace, making little reassuring noises. Then he pulled himself up and pushed his face toward mine, eyes closed and puckered up. I rapped the crown of his head with my knuckles and said, "No! Bad Lachlan. Do I have to remind you I'm happily married?" He just looked up at me uncomprehending hurt in his eyes.

I shook my head and looked at Larry, who returned my headshake with one of his own, then reached down to me. I took his hand and he pulled me away from Lachlan's loosened embrace, then sat down in my place.

"It's okay, Lach. The nasty women can't hurt you any more." As his brother crumpled down and cried in his lap, I mouthed the words, "nasty woman?" while pointing at myself. Larry bit his lip to keep from laughing, then shrugged.

"I'm gonna make sure that the others get settled okay. You gonna be all right in here with the world's biggest manchild?" His grin got a little lopsided, but he nodded.

"I'll be out as soon as he's settled. If anyone gives you any pushback, tell them the heir has given you free rein to billet your Cadets where you will." He sighed a little and added, "I'd leave the top floor to the cousins, though. They're particular about their lodgings and other perks, and I'd rather not have them start a civil war over which room they're sleeping in." I smiled down at him, then reached over and ruffled his hair a little, pushing the sweat sodden mass out of his face as I did.

"Did you want a particular room, or do you have one, or...?" He shook his head.

"Technically? These are my rooms now. Lachlan declared me heir before he died, and these are the heir's quarters." At that, Lachlan started bawling again, weeping something about, "Not worthy to be heir, I'll leave." Larry just grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head around to keep him from leaving.

"Oh, do shut up you big oaf. You're welcome to stay in these rooms as long as you need and like. The bed's certainly big enough to share, even if you do snore something awful." Then he looked up at me.

"At any rate, I'll be fine; if I have to I can sleep on the sofa in the other room. It's certainly better than a two man tent."

"That it is. I'll see you downstairs later then?" He nodded, and I left the room, closing the door behind me, then closing the suite door as I went back into the big common club room. Eight pairs of eyes tracked me from the moment I left the room. Before any of them could start with any kind of anything, I announced, "Lachlan is fine; he'll just need some rest to get his strength back. Larry's staying with him until he gets back to sleep. I've got to go make sure the Expedition is billeted."

I nodded and said, "Gentlemen," in lieu of goodbye, then marched over to the stair. I took my time going down the stairs this time. The third floor had balconies running around halfway up the walls of the big dining room, with ten doors evenly split between the two walls, much like the floor above. I wandered over to the nearest and looked inside.

The lights were out, but the wireframe of the room showed a smaller suite than Lachlan's; just an outer 'entryway' room with a pair of double doors standing open to a bedroom beyond it, the bed just as big as the one in Lachlan's room. I strolled back down to the front door, taking my damn sweet time after all the craziness. As I passed the big dining room, I thought, so, Kitten, how's your evening going? Her reply came back immediately. Not terribly well.

We're finding higher and higher ratios of bodies and living plague victims the further we go into New Amsterdam. Please tell me your day was better? I'm not sure it's better, but we got here just in time for Lachlan to declare Larry heir, then kick the bucket. Oh no. General Lancaster will not be pleased. Tell him not to get his panties in a bunch. I Revived him. He's six kinds of broken up because some bimbo psychopomp told him he wasn't worthy or some shit like that, but he's alive.

Weepy and still recovering from his downtime, I guess, but alive. A palpable wave of relief flowed from her. So the lot of you have made it to Lancaster House? We have. What's the situation there? Not entirely sure, but we've been seeing plenty of bodies, both ill and dead, from the plague. No news about Calverton one way or the other.

We've started setting up a perimeter about a day's travel East of here, I figure we'll start by checking and Curing everybody inside that, then start sending small groups to cycle through the farmsteads and, y'know, Cure the sick, bury the dead, and sort out who gets the dead folks' stuff. God that sounds ghoulish. Loki replied to my statement moments before Saffron. If you were sending your troops primarily to loot the dead, that would be ghoulish. You're simply being pragmatic.

Saffron gave me a little bit of a start when she added, He's right. If anyone asks, the Imperator approves of your plan. Shit, you two can hear each other? How long has that been going on? Loki chuckled and thought, this is the first time, but I believe this is the first time you've called on me while speaking with your wife since Yule. I shrugged as I hit the bottom of the steps and sauntered across the big entryway. Oh. Sounds legit. You wanna come here tonight, or...? Another sigh echoed through the link.

I'm sorry, Goof, but I'm exhausted. Perhaps tomorrow evening? From everything I've heard, the lodgings at Lancaster House are a hedonist's fantasy. Yeah, that's pretty accurate. Tomorrow then; I'll probably need some cheering up after a day dealing with dead people. Boss, you need me tomorrow? I ask only that you wear your raiment tomorrow. I'll be re-watching your new follower's performance against Odin's vulture over and over like a child with a favorite bedtime story tomorrow.

This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. Saffron cut in with, wait, did you Just Happen to someone at Lancaster House already? Was it Lachlan? It was Lachlan, wasn't it? She didn't sound upset, just amused and maybe a little eager. Down, girl. The only variety of fucking happened when Larry fucked up some Valkyrie's shit. She went quiet a while, but I could tell she hadn't gone away, just gone silent.

Eventually she thought, Laurence Lancaster swore himself to you after defeating a Valkyrie? I kinda needed him to keep her bitch ass away from me while I Revived Lachlan, so I gave him a really fucked up Mana Blade and he left her in four smoking pieces. Then he took a knee and declared eternal gratitude and loyalty. Y'know, like you do. That got me a blast of almost hysterical giggles.

I'd reached the door, and despite wanting to continue the conversation, knew that I wouldn't be talking while trying to ice skate, and when I got to the side building I'd be dealing with the Cadets, so I thought, anyway, guys, I've got to go. Commandering to do. Boss, enjoy the show, Kitten, love you and see you tomorrow? Good night, Tabitha Diaz. Carnally if at all possible, Goof. Love you too. Then I was alone in my head. I went out the door, nodding to the Guards as I left.

After a single step on the icy courtyard, I got a rush of brains to the head and stepped to the door to the side building. I almost landed on my ass when my foot hit a patch of ice on arrival, but I managed to grab the door handle and use it to stay upright until I got the door open and stepped inside. A pair of my expedition soldiers, clearly distinguishable by their dragonhide armor, nodded to me.

"Whereabouts are the Cadets?" The shorter of the two, a Veteran named Leslie, nodded down to the end of the building nearest the main house.

"They're headed to the House proper once they're done sorting everyone. Which they mostly are, what with the Sergeants setting shifts to guard the doors for the night."

"This building connects to the main house?"

"Apparently so, all the way at that end of the building."

"Thanks, Leslie. Try to get some sleep tonight, work starts up early."

"Yes, ma'am." With that I left, jogging to try and catch up to Bill and company. I managed to do so just as they hit the end of the cross-hallway that emptied into the big main entryway of Lancaster House proper.

"Hey, Commander. Everything okay with Lachlan?" I shrugged.

"He got a little bit dead, but Larry and I fixed it. He's not dealing with it well, but Larry's with him." If any of them were surprised by my casual mention of Reviving someone or treating Larry like something other than dogshit on my shoe, none of them said anything.

"Before we go up and maybe wind up socializing, there are some Lancaster Heroes in the house. I trust them about as far as I could throw them. Hell, I trust them way less than that, so keep your guard up and move in pairs."

"Weren't you just moving by yourself?" asked Angel. I rolled my eyes.

"Do as I say, not as I do. There, I'm officially a Mom now. The plan for tomorrow is to set up a perimeter with our guys, then start Curing and clearing Lancaster House and a one day perimeter around it. Hopefully the Heroes Lancaster will toe the line, but I'm not counting on it. Expect we'll have to do the heavy lifting." Bill laughed, shaking his head, "so, the Dan expect the Bag to do the real work. What else is new."

"Larry and maybe Lachlan will be helping us out this time?" Everybody's face betrayed the same kind of feeling I had when I first thought about it; utter disbelief competing with eternally stymied hope, all overlain with a thick viscous coating of 'about fucking time'. Fred brought us all out of our bout of cognitive dissonance by saying, "so, are they bunking us with the cattle again?" I smiled, for once having some good news for them.

"Nope. Follow me, boys and girls, tonight we're sleeping like rich people. Tomorrow it's back to work, so enjoy it while it lasts." I split people up two to a room. Angel and Bill, Rider and Rosen, Carruthers and Fred, and finally the pair that, surprisingly, requested to room together, Raven and Bonnie. I put each pair along the North side of the dining room balcony, and took the final suite for myself. Like the rooms upstairs the final room had four rooms instead of two.

Living room, bedroom, office, and changing room. None of them had windows, and the West and North walls weren't wood or plaster; they looked like they'd been carved out of the rock of the hillside. Slept fitfully as Mimic dreamt of moss and rocks and points of screaming light and vengeful darkness. Woke early, got everybody fed and working in pairs with one unit of our Volunteers each, first clearing the North building, then moving to the main House.

The collective Heroes Lancaster were about as helpful as I'd expected, claiming they needed to remain alert for any potential Calverton incursions. They didn't look happy when I suggested they find some way to stand watch, since otherwise we'd know Calverton was coming when they started flinging rocks at Lancaster House's big stained glass 'L'. The one I'd marked last night as the smartest, and thus most dangerous one, whose name was 'Charles', covered his booger look almost immediately with a greasy smile.

"Gentlemen, while our assessment that Calverton is unlikely to move in such awful weather is still likely correct, Commander Diaz has the right of it; should they attempt such an insane journey, we would look quite foolish if we didn't take advantage of their stupidity." They all looked at me, not bothering to hide their anticipation. I hated to disappoint them, but veiled insults like that? I'd learned to smile and eat that shit like candy back in Camden, and I had no reason to start shit about it right now.

"Yeah, you kinda would. Before you get to it, though." I pushed an Assess Health out of my cheekbone, watching the horror melt the smarmy condescension from their faces. When the first two showed up as Infected, I heaved a sigh and said, "one last moment of your time. This might sting a little." Then, working from left to right, I tagged each of them with a full strength Cure. By the time I hit the fourth one, the first had stood up and half drawn his sword.

"Alistair Lancaster. Stand. Down." Larry had a pretty good approximation of his dad's 'do not fucking think of disobeying me' voice already. When the second dipshit started to draw, the light got dimmer and noises got a little fucked up as Larry said, "Do not make me repeat myself another six times." I finished Curing the collective Heroes Lancaster, then turned to Larry, who'd just finished withdrawing his sword's Blade back into its hilt.

"You good to work with me today, Larry? I can fly solo if you'd rather spend the time with Lachlan." The rest of the Lancasters in the room took me casually ignoring them exactly how I'd hoped they would, by pretending nothing had happened before they broke up and headed for their rooms. Before Lancaster replied to me, he used that carrying voice to tell all his cousins, "thank you for taking the path of wisdom, gentlemen. I'd hate to have Slayer's maiden combat be against my own kin."

When they all dispersed, I walked over to Larry and, under my breath, said, "holy shit, Larry. I didn't think you could tell someone exactly how much you wanted to off them with your new toy by saying the exact opposite." He shrugged.

"For all his many faults, my father is adept at communication. Shall we get to it then?" Between the ten of us, we barely managed to finish the North building. Our troops and camp followers filled the first floor, although they had a little more space than the folks in the rest of the building. The second and third floors had Volunteers packed in like sardines, and the top floor had the local workforce packed in similarly.

By the time we'd gotten halfway through the first floor, I'd noticed something and asked Larry about it.

"Don't most of the folks nearby keep women stuck in 'women's quarters'?" He sighed, clearly uncomfortable talking about it, but he answered anyway.

"They do. To answer your unspoken question, Lancaster House does indeed have a 'Ladies' Quarter'; it's functionally accessible from the back of the Dining Hall, as well as the proper entrances from the Lord's and Heir's suites, and some servants entrances connected to the first floor of the North and South buildings. All but the Lord's and Heir's entrances lock from the inside."

"What about..." I nodded to the last Infected I'd cured, who was obviously of the female persuasion despite having the muscles you'd expect from an active duty Veteran. That put a lopsided, grin on his face.

"You think the Lancasters actually pay attention to the difference between male and female Bag?" If I hadn't seen the look on his face, heard the deep shame insufficiently covered by self-deprecating humor, I might have thought the old Larry had come back out to play, and felt some kinda way about it. Instead, I just pulled him into a side hug, quietly saying, "you got your head filled with bullshit and shoved up your own ass for a decade and a half. Not your fault.

Now that you've finally stopped wearing your ass as a ski mask, you just gotta do the best you can with what you've got." He sighed.

"As you've all noted, what I've got is quite a lot. Wealth. Power, both by association and inheritance." Something that could arguably be mistaken for a smile stretched across his face.

"Good looks, charm, and a bevy of aptitudes atop all that."

"Yeah, well. Not everybody can be as lucky as me." That got him; we kept each other laughing with stupid jokes about ourselves for the rest of the day. After we finally wound down with an uncomfortable dinner staring down the Heroes Lancaster, I stumbled back to my room, only to find a lack of Saffron. Stretching my Translocation muscles, I stepped back to our cell only to find her sitting on the edge of the bed, snoring lightly, as Marie got the menace ready for bed.

"Hey, Kitten. You okay?"

"Mrrhna?" She blinked muzzily at me, so I just gently pushed her over to flop back on the bed, then got to work getting her boots off. The four of us didn't do anything but sleep that night, but at least we all got to do that together. In the morning, I kissed everyone good bye and stepped back to Lancaster House before breakfast, because I correctly surmised that the Heroes Lancaster would try to start shit at the most important meal of the day.

With Charles watching carefully while trying to look like he wasn't, Alistair opened up at me, whining, "I don't see why we need patrol while the troops lay about indoors." I sighed, but before I could open my mouth to answer Larry cut in with, "so, will you be providing the cold weather gear for your units then?" Alistair sneered, "they're mostly Bag, they don't feel the cold." I had all I could do keeping my face blank and not just ending the asshole right then and there.

Thankfully, Larry had his game face fully on.

"Feel it or not, they still get frostbite, and a Volunteer without feet can't march, nor one without fingers hold a shield. Should you not provide that gear, Lancaster House will take the cost of training replacement Volunteers from your stipend." Alistair spluttered to a stop, squealing things about 'traditional privilege' and 'unheard of, high-handed tyranny', while Charles cut in with, "of course, cousin Laurence. Since we don't have the material to gear them all up right away, I'll look into acquiring such.

In the meanwhile, of course we'll continue our patrols without them." He faked a considering look before saying, "in fact, it's likely better if we patrol in small groups without volunteers. We'll move faster, and can return to defensible locations should we see signs of overwhelming Calverton forces." Larry just deadpanned, "excellent idea. Make it so." Breakfast drama aside, today went pretty well.

Exhausting, because the South building had been packed full from the second story up, with the first story full of cattle, sheep, and people who worked with cattle and sheep sleeping side by side with them. The only good part of the day came when I stumbled up to my room, exhausted, to tired to even entertain the idea of eating dinner. Got a sudden burst of energy when I closed the door behind me only to hear Saffron say, "guess who's having a sleepover with Grandma tonight?

Yeah, Lancasters might be six kinds of assholes, but they had good taste in furniture. We didn't even break any of it. Okay, one chair, but I managed to Mineral Bond the leg back on it.