Chương 7: Chapter 5 (R)

My sleep is interrupted by the sound of footsteps and the opening of the bedroom door. Through the moonlight streaming in through the window I make out a figure approaching my crib. My eyes, still clouded with sleep, open little by little to see my father, the Emperor, walk up to my crib and stand beside it, gazing down at me in silence.

"Your Majesty, you should not be here. If it is discovered you came, combined with the scene you caused at the ceremony, it will only bring trouble to your daughter", I hear someone say to the Emperor, though from where I lie, with my father blocking my view, I cannot see who it is.

"I know, but now that everyone is at the celebration, this is the best chance I'll have for a long time. Have you checked the surroundings?" my father replies, still looking down at me.

"Yes. Everyone is either asleep or we've put them to sleep. No one will know anyone entered", the unknown person answers.

"Good. Now go out and patrol. I want to be alone with my daughter", my father responds, shifting his gaze to one side of the room, presumably looking at the stranger. I hear the door close, and my father turns back to look at me. After a moment I see him reach down and lift me from the crib with care. I stare up at him as he begins to speak "They told me, and despite seeing it myself at the ceremony, I still thought it was an exaggeration. You really are the calmest baby I've ever known." Damn, I think.

Despite having tried to act like a baby by complaining and crying a little now and then, it seems I've fallen short, and on top of that it's too late to correct it. If I were to start fussing more frequently now, it would be even stranger. Carrying me, my father walks to a nearby chair and sits down, rocking me gently.

"My little Wen", he begins, speaking to me in a soft tone.

"Ever since I learned of your birth, I've been longing for the moment I could hold you in my arms. I have many sons, yes, but you are my only daughter. And the heavens know I've tried, twenty-two sons in forty years and only one daughter." What he says surprises me. Forty years, how old is he? He looks to be in his thirties, but if what he says is true and his first son was born when he was, say fifteen, considering that in ancient times people tended to marry young, he'd be at least fifty-five.

Either that, or even with a dozen concubines he's been busier than a rabbit in mating season. As he rocks me, his words flow like a quiet melody in the darkness of the room.

"Though the Heavens have played a cruel trick on us both, on me and on you", he continues, referring, I imagine, to my disability.

"Especially on you", he sighs at last.

"Especially on you." The room, barely lit by the moonlight filtering through the window, becomes our small world. A world where the responsibilities of an emperor seem to fade away, leaving only a father who appears to care sincerely for his daughter. In an attempt to break the tension in the air, I reach out and tug at my father's beard while I start to babble. I only hope it doesn't strike him as too odd.

He's surprised by my gesture and smiles slightly, grasping my hand with the clear intention of getting me to let go of his beard and grab his hand instead, so I make it easy and latch onto one of his fingers.

"I know the road ahead will be difficult", he admits with a sigh, as though the words weigh on him, though as he continues I see a flash of anger cross his eyes.

"There are already people who have spoken out against you. Some have even suggested you are a stain on the family's reputation and that it would be better if you suffered an accident."

Hearing that, the shock of his words freezes me for a moment, but remembering that I'm not supposed to be able to understand what he's telling me, I carry on as though nothing has happened, clinging to his finger while a thread of fear begins to grow inside me, reminding me of the cruelty that some Chinese families in antiquity, or even modern ones, are capable of inflicting, especially to repair a reputation they believe has been tarnished.

"The title I've given you and the new place where you'll be living will protect you for now", he goes on.

"And another thing that may protect you is that they'll consider a disabled girl no threat to anyone, perhaps the only good thing that can be drawn from something so bad." Suddenly I hear a couple of knocks at the door and my father turns his head toward it.

"I suppose it's time for me to go", he says, rising and approaching the crib. Once there he kisses my forehead and frees his finger from my hand. I begin to whimper and fuss at the loss, after all, the act must be maintained.

"Now sleep, little Wen. Tomorrow is another day, and they'll wake you early to take you to your new home." With those words he places me back in my crib and tucks me in, dodging my attempts to grab his hands, while I struggle to figure out how to keep up the act, since crying out loud would feel almost like a sacrilege given the atmosphere and the moment. He straightens after tucking me in and turns toward the door to leave.

As he walks away, the moonlight falls on his figure through the window, outlining the contours of a man who carries the weight of an empire on his shoulders but who, in this moment, feels more like a father than an emperor. And although his words about people wanting me dead still terrify me, I suppose having a loving father with the power of an emperor can be a fairly effective shield, at least for now.

I hear the door close behind him, and in the stillness of the night, contemplating the room's shapes outlined by the moonlight streaming through the window, I turn things over in my head again and again, what he said, my situation, what I can do, without reaching any conclusion. And so I continue until my baby body decides enough is enough and I fall asleep. The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

I'm woken by an unusual commotion in the room, and when I finish coming to, I notice it's already daylight. While I recall with discomfort last night's conversation, a father unburdening himself to his daughter, believing she cannot understand a word he's saying, I peer at what little I can see through the gap in my crib. Through it I can see RuNu Lianhua directing a pair of handmaidens to pack up everything in my room. One of them, passing by my crib, notices I'm awake and looking at her.

"RuNu, Zhāohuán Wen has woken up", the maid tells RuNu Lianhua. Noticing that my small body has betrayed me while I slept, I start to whimper as RuNu Lianhua approaches the crib and picks me up while I continue with the act.

"Keep packing everything, including the crib. If you can't manage it, tell one of the Nei Wei outside to carry it. If they object, tell them Zhāohuán Wen can only sleep if we put her in it", she tells the maids after checking the reason for my complaints. I want to protest at the blatant lie she's just told, which besmirches my honor, but I doubt my babbling could convey what I feel.

After changing my clothes on a nearby table that for the moment appears to have been spared from the clear plundering underway in the room, she carries me out and heads toward my mother's quarters. Along the way I see the corridors filled with handmaidens, all carrying trunks that require two people to move on account of their bulky size, though judging by the ease with which they carry them, they don't seem to weigh much. At last we arrive at my mother's room, where she is speaking with Fei Yi Lingxi.

To my surprise I see it has already been completely emptied, not even the bed remains.

"Are you certain about this, Furen? If we empty the entire palace, the rest of the consorts are going to complain", Fei Yi Lingxi is saying to my mother.

"Let them complain all they want. They've been tormenting me for years, ever since His Majesty chose me as his favorite", my mother answers with a fierce expression.

"And ever since they found out about Wen's condition, they haven't stopped scheming to have us both repudiated, claiming she's cursed and will bring ruin to the Empire. I'm not leaving so much as the dust for them to pillage after we're gone."

Hearing my mother, and remembering what my father said about people calling for me to have an accident, last night's fear returns, reminding me that I am in an imperial court and that the tales of cruelty told throughout China's history may not be so far from reality in this world. RuNu Lianhua approaches my mother, who turns toward us.

"Give her to me. Today I'll carry her myself", my mother says as she takes me from her arms. She looks back at Fei Yi Lingxi and says "The retinue sent by the Emperor has been waiting for some time, so we're leaving. Lingxi, you're in charge. If anyone tries to cause trouble, report it to the Nei Shiwei. She's already stressed enough by the situation to tolerate anyone making her job harder. She'll deal with whoever causes problems."

With those words she strides through the door without hesitation, carrying me, followed in haste by RuNu Lianhua. Upon reaching the outer courtyard I'm taken aback by the sight. A dozen female guards, the Nei Wei as I assume they're called based on both RuNu Lianhua's and my mother's conversations, are waiting just as they did when we left for the Man Yue ceremony. But there are even more lining the courtyard and forming a corridor to the exit gate, preventing anyone from approaching or obstructing our departure.

And the need is clear. A veritable crowd fills the courtyard, all there to watch us leave, and I can't help noticing that we look like celebrities on the red carpet at an event. Or perhaps, with a more morbid thought born of the conversations about getting rid of me, criminals being led to the scaffold. After descending the house's steps, the Nei Wei take up positions around my mother and RuNu Lianhua, who continue walking toward the exit escorted by them.

As we advance through the corridor of guards I look around and notice that among the mass of women in the courtyard there are several children and young men. Considering where we are, I can't help thinking that those wearing the most luxurious clothes are probably my half-brothers. With twenty-two half-brothers, according to my father, it's inevitable that some of them would be here.

Fortunately we pass through the gate without anyone attempting to murder me, or more likely, shouting that I am the downfall of the Empire or the source of all the world's ills. I suppose the sight of so many guards is enough to dissuade anyone from trying anything rash, lest they lose their head. Upon exiting the main gate of the inner courtyard, another twelve male guards join the retinue, adding yet more protection to the journey. And that is starting to frighten me a little.

Granted, after last night's visit it's clear my father is in full overprotective mode, but twenty-four soldiers who are clearly not there for a ceremony like at the Man Yue but armed and ready for combat may be a bit much, especially considering we're inside the palace and it's broad daylight.

We follow the same paths as the night before under the curious and surprised gazes of the people we pass, almost all of them imperial officials if I can judge by the style of clothing they wear, until after a while we arrive at the entrance to the inner palace. This time the gate is open and the guards let us through with nothing more than a nod. Before us I see the great staircase leading to the throne room, but this time we turn right and enter a path that crosses a sort of park.

As we make our way through I notice the park is worthy of appearing in a big-budget period film. Nothing of the Chinese aesthetic is missing. Pagodas, streams, and meticulously arranged gardens surround us, and I sigh with regret: if my current situation were different, I would love to lose myself in them. We cross the park and arrive at what is clearly a palace. We pass through the gates into the inner courtyard, and I notice the male guards do not follow past the entrance.

I assume we have reached the Pavilion of the Scent of Clouds, which is what my father called the residence he granted us at the ceremony. My mother stops in the center of the courtyard and sighs, as though shedding a nervousness that had not shown itself until now. We cross the courtyard and both my mother and RuNu Lianhua enter the house, where we find it is already furnished. And if the previous house already struck me as luxurious, this one is off every chart.

"Guifei Xiang, I don't think we needed to bring everything from the other house", RuNu Lianhua says.

"I couldn't care less. I'm not leaving a thing for those hyenas", my mother replies, which makes RuNu Lianhua flinch at the way she refers to the other consorts.

"Find Wen's room", she tells RuNu Lianhua, holding me out for her to take.

"I need to speak with the Nei Shiwei of this pavilion so she can explain how things will work around here." RuNu Lianhua takes me without another word and begins making her way through the house, peering into every room. The luxury in each of them puts to shame anything I once saw on that television show about the world's most extravagant homes, until at last we reach a room containing an XXL-sized crib so laden with ornaments and jewels it gives me chills.

When we approach and RuNu Lianhua makes as though to put me in it, I make her earlier lie come true and start complaining and crying so she won't put me in that monstrosity. Surprised, RuNu Lianhua steps back from the crib, and when she sees I stop fussing the moment she moves away, she chuckles under her breath and sits in a nearby chair, rocking me.

"Karma is strange sometimes, isn't it, Zhāohuán Wen", she tells me as she rocks me.

"I suppose we really will have to wait for them to bring your crib." I'm relieved that RuNu Lianhua seems to have gone back to her old self now that the whole Man Yue business is behind us. And as she rocks me, I let sleep take hold. The move looks as though it's going to take a while, and I'd rather not be awake and bored waiting. As I thought once before, whoever said childhood is the best time of your life was never a baby.