Chương 68: Internal Rot (III)

Long Tao's words... shook me. And no matter how desperately I tried denying them... they were like a cockroach, surviving whatever damn hell I threw at them. Honestly, I did occasionally think about leaving this place, but only because I thought about exploring the world a bit. I figured it would happen naturally as the entire sect grew stronger and eventually 'migrated' to a 'higher realm'. But... The rot was undeniable.

It wasn't just Elder Zhang, after all; there was still Spirit Sage and Light, and even if they had no inherent desire for the sect's destruction and were mostly using it as a hiding place, it spoke volumes of the sect's inner instability. Having some low-level disciples as spies? Perfectly normal. One of the most Senior Elders and the Sect Master himself? An imminent sign of a collapsing system. Perhaps, on some level, I've always known, which is why I never thought about it too deeply.

Well, always is a strong word--it wasn't until Light showed up here that I began... doubting. But Spirit Sage has shown no reason for me to doubt him--while he was harboring a Demonic Inheritor, nowhere in my memories can I find any act of his that went against the Sect.

"Ugh," I grunted. I'd rather he never said anything, to be honest; now that it was out in the open, it was like a sign from him. No, not a sign--a prediction. Long Tao was leaving this place. When or how are still indeterminate, but it wouldn't be too long; otherwise, he wouldn't have brought it up. And, judging from his words, he wanted me to come with, too. And if I went, Dai Xiu would go too... as would Hua, who would follow her.

Xi Zhao was also likely to follow me, if his incessant proclamations of loyalty were anything to go by. That left Light. I don't know whether she'd come... or even if I want her to come. Travelling the world alongside a Demonic Inheritor? Wasn't that the most obvious planted flag for inviting countless troubles? Haah. I brewed myself a cup of tea, incapable of escaping the thoughts. Just as the water began to boil, a guest that had been missing for a few days arrived--Elder Qin.

Truth be told, I had little love for the sect itself; I had no attachments to it or most of anyone inside of it... save for this aged man greeting me with a smile. Even Spirit Sage seemed, at best, wholly indifferent to me, while the rest of the Elders hated my guts. Everyone except for him. If I left, I'd be leaving him to a certain death. And if I asked him to leave with me? Hah. As if. He'd already given me the green light, too, to leave should such a day ever come. To take the kids and disappear.

"What's got you looking so sour?" he asked as he started setting up the chessboard.

"... nothing," I couldn't bring it up, the idea of him leaving.

"You haven't visited for a few days." You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

"Ah, yes, I've been a bit busy. I hope you didn't let Xi Zhao slack."

"Let?" I chuckled.

"All kids here seem bedeviled with hard work, truth be told. They make me feel guilty for not cultivating day and night myself."

"Your turn to play first," he said, spinning the board.

"Have you ever considered it?"

"Considered what?" I asked, pushing the pawn forward.

"Cultivating more seriously."

"Me and what talent?"

"... heavens aren't unfair, Elder Lu," he replied, pushing the pawn as well. He'd learned a lot from me and stopped playing those insane corner-pawn openings, at least.

"They reward those who work hard."

"... if they weren't unfair," I said.

"There wouldn't be those who needed to work hard, Elder Qin. Or those would be the only ones around."

"..." He stayed silent for a moment, his eyes darting between mine and the board beneath us.

"You sound angry at them."

"No," I said.

"Just making an observation. Everyone has good and bad hands in life; though I wasn't blessed with any particular talents, I was still blessed, was I not? Most people with my talent never embark on the journey of cultivation, and yet here I am, an Elder in the Spirit Sword Sect."

"Ho ho. Rather broad-minded," he chuckled as he made a rather stupid move, losing his queen. Despite that, he didn't surrender. Or, rather, Elder Qin never surrendered--he always played until the checkmate, no matter the game's state. As our little duel came to an end, he sighed in resignation, removed all the pieces and stored them inside a small box, which was then further stored into the spatial ring, and stood up, ready to leave.

"I have made arrangements."

"Hm?"

"Come with Light at my peak tomorrow before dawn."

"Oh."

"No matter what happens," he added.

"If someone asks, put the blame on me."

"Nothing will happen."

"... promise me."

"..." Why? Why was he so adamant about helping me? No matter how much I stared at his eyes, I couldn't discern the depths of his motives, so I simply nodded my head and agreed.

"I promise."

"Good. I will see you tomorrow, then." He left as silently as he came, leaving me even more rattled. I am not made for juggling too many things at once. That was why I struggled in college and why I eventually settled on being a small-time pharmacist filling out prescriptions. But unlike on Earth, where I could notably escape my shortcomings and my woes, here... it seemed impossible.

The matter of spies within and without the sect, the matter of war, the matter of the Demonic Inheritor, the matter of leaving the sect behind... they were like anchors chained to my limbs, pulling me down any time I tried to leave. Shaking my head, I stood up and quested around for a moment, looking for Light. She was way in the back, 'assisting' Hua with putting some finishing touches on the project. Was it the right choice, even, to send her there?

Perhaps it was the right choice for Long Tao, but the way he viewed the world and the way a six-year-old would view the world... did they not differ vastly? But if there was a chance to help her, to prevent her from experiencing the same fate her father did... how could I deny it? Ugh.

"Light," I called out to her and watched her promptly stand up and run over toward me, wide-eyed and smiling.

"What is it, Elder Lu?" Ever since our little talk a few days back, she'd... changed. It was a subtle change, the ilk that others probably even haven't picked up on. But she no longer seemed as cold, and a simple glance at her status showed why--her Apathy (Epic) was actually downgraded to Apathy (Rare), something I'd never experienced before.

"... I've arranged a special training with Elder Qin's help for you for tomorrow," I said.

"So we'll have to leave the mountain before dawn. Are you willing?"

"Yes!" she smiled, agreeing without hesitation.

"What kind of training is it?"

"I'm... not too sure, either," I said.

"All I know is that it's perfectly tailored for you. I'll be there throughout, however, and if at any point you want to leave... we'll leave immediately. So don't be worried."

"I'm not," she grinned.

"I just hope you don't cry when I become stronger than you, he he~" I smiled silently and patted her head for a moment before she spun around and joined back up with Hua, aggressively bothering him about something or another. I've been afraid a lot of times in my life, both on Earth as well as here; rather, I've been afraid most of the time I've spent in this world. Afraid of being discovered, afraid of being randomly killed, afraid of the monsters hiding on my peak...

But I don't think I've ever been quite so terrified as I am right now. Terrified that I can no longer 'go with the flow' and simply react to the world around me. Terrified that it was up to me to make a choice and live with all the possible consequences of that choice. There would be no blaming anyone but me, no matter how wrong things go. And knowing me and my history of making choices? Oh boy, will things go wrong. So, so wrong.