Chương 379: Ghosts of the Mine (XXV)

Wow. I... just, wow. That's the kind of confidence I would have killed for (well, not literally) back on Earth, when I was a thumb-twaddling teenager trying to navigate the waters of boy-girl relationships. It was remarkable how everyone stood in staunch silence as Long Tao held the legless man by the neck. I considered stepping in and telling him to 'ease up' a bit, but... I thought better of it. Not because I think he wouldn't have listened--in fact, he probably would have--but because his anger was... real.

Long Tao got angry before, and he got annoyed, and he even got hateful, but this? It reminded me of my own anger, a bit. Not at the world, not at some enemy who betrayed me, but at myself. For the first few months after Yasmine died, I hated myself. I avoided all mirrors in my house; I'd gotten stupendously drunk every other day, and I could not stand to be with my thoughts for more than ten seconds.

Long Tao wasn't angry with himself, I don't think--his anger was directed at some person, but the volume of it was... familiar. The two talked, I think, but none of us heard a peep. And with each passing second, and seemingly each new answer, Long Tao grew more and more frustrated. I could see it on his face, even if it was minimal: taut of the brows, crinkling of the lips, the increasingly slumped shoulders... Whatever answers he was expecting, he was not getting.

It was unsurprising, really, as I already guessed he wouldn't learn anything. That man was discarded at birth--it was likely he didn't even know who his mother was, or believed it was some woman who raised him. Whatever ties he had with the Empress were loose, bloodline ones that he was unaware of. Long Tao was squeezing an orange to get apple juice. I could have told him that and saved both him and everyone else from all this... but I didn't.

Lately, I've noticed my mind slowly beginning to slip; not for nothing, but I no longer find murder callous, let alone barbaric. Acts of violence are less acts of violence as they are merely acts of existence. But the most important reason of all: the first time the man struck, he struck to kill. If it had been anyone else other than Long Tao, they would have died. Anyone whose first choice in a situation like this is to immediately kill, I can't very well muster much, if any, sympathy for.

I'll still do my best to make sure Long Tao doesn't kill him, at least, since Shuren mentioned something that itched my ear a bit, but... honestly, I'm not even sure Long Tao will want to kill him. The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. For however apathetic and distant and seemingly keen on killing Long Tao has been all this while, I've never actually seen him kill anyone 'just because'.

Just that man he's holding as a counterexample--I don't think Long Tao would ever kill somebody just because they insulted him. I mean, I could be totally wrong, and God knows I've been wrong before (so, so many times), but I think there are levels to 'looking down upon everyone'. Long Tao had reached a point where insults, even if they do register, aren't a cause for death... I think. Or, well, at least I hope.

"What do you think they're talking about, Master?" Wan Lan asked, and other kids looked at me, too, with curiosity in their eyes. As did Lao Shun.

"Why would I know?"

"Hmm..." none of them believed me, of course, but it was true. Kind of. I mean, I know what-about, as it were, their conversation is, but exactly what is Long Tao asking? No clue. The conversation went on for about ten minutes before Long Tao sighed and loosened the grip on the man's neck, letting the body that was still missing legs plummet down to the ground. He seemed equally as frustrated, if not more, as he did at the start, which means that guy probably knew less than nothing.

As soon as he walked away, the other thirteen rushed over to the man who seemed on the cusp of losing his mind, yet didn't dare shout, merely spitting venom at Long Tao's back.... that's actually kind of odd. Long Tao would never let somebody holding a deathly grudge like that live. So, what's the catch? I eyed him, and he caught my gaze but merely shrugged as though to say, 'Figure it out'. Shuren slowly walked over toward me as kids walked off, as though having practiced beforehand.

The way she looked at me, at us, was... well, different is a polite way of saying it.

"Thank you, Fellow Daoist," she said, actually bowing toward me.

"For...?"

"For asking your Disciple to show lenience," oh. Yeah. You call that lenience? Sheesh, what kind of a life did you live?! It did put me in a strange position, though, as it seemed everyone kind of assumed Long Tao was merely a proxy and was acting under my 'orders'. Not the first time this happened, nor will it be the last, I imagine.

"He went overboard," I said.

"I'll make sure he, too, learns a valuable lesson. They're running away."

"Let them," she said, sighing.

"He's always been a pest and has tried to kill me on numerous occasions, but never quite so brazenly. It seems... I've fallen out with Father."

"Oh?" This is the part that itched my ears.

"It's only natural," she smiled bitterly.

"I've seen many others undergo the same thing over the centuries. As long as Father favors you, you may do whatever it is you desire and you may have whatever it is you want to have. But if he grows tired of you... you may as well simply leave and hope not to be hunted down. Looks like... my time is running out, too."

"Will you be alright going back?"

"I should be. Regardless of all else, I still must complete Pilgrimage. Once that is done... we'll see, I suppose."

"One day in the not-so-far future," I said.

"I will likely have to visit that Father of yours. I hope he won't hold too great of a grudge over what happened today."

"... I'm afraid he will," she said, smiling bitterly yet again.

"Father is a great man of many means and unprecedented talent, but there is a reason why he is here and not above. His Dao Heart is... well, if I were you, I'd search for other ways of achieving whatever it is you need Father for." Yeah, I'm afraid there are no other ways. Oh, Long Tao. You truly will be the death of me.