Chương 133: Echoes (IX)

It wasn't her, he knew--it was a lingering image stored within the Soul Orb. She'd sapped the last of herself to create this, only on the small chance that he, one day, might remember she existed and come to see her. But if he hadn't died and hadn't been reborn into this part of the world, chances were that this orb would have become some treasured 'artifact' of one of the Holy Lands as they spent endless generations trying to figure out its use, only to never succeed.

"I'm surprised," she continued--well, not so much she as the projection.

"I was certain some Heavenly Maiden would have swept you up and made you forget all about little ol' me. Or, perhaps, she did, though the wily fox broke your heart, and now you've come here to mend it. Ah, my poor little Tao, I did warn you of the evil charms of the dedicated minxes, did I not? But you did not listen." Long Tao cracked a smile, his neck craned slightly as he stared at her face--she had a way with expressions.

Rather, it was the closest he'd ever seen anyone to his Master--their faces were like canvases that could produce expressions the likes of which he'd never seen before on any of the millions of faces he'd encountered.

"On the off chance that you are not heartbroken and in need of tending, and that you've come back for me... I'm sorry, love. I waited for as long as I could. But the heavens, the cruel bastards, they cursed me with a life of yearning and longing. For a long while after you'd left, I cursed myself for ever loving you. If I had never met you, I'd have remained some farm girl, married off to one of them charming farm boys, and I'd have lived my ordinary, mortal life, never knowing just how little I knew.

"But you... you gave me a glimpse, love, and you made me yearn. Every day, I've waited. At our spot, beneath that dragon tree. I'd wake up at dawn and go there. Fen'er must have asked me a thousand times what I was doing, ha ha. But I never said. I just waited, hoping that I'd see that scrawny body of yours appear over the hill. Winter or summer, rain or snow, heat or storms, I was there. Waiting. And now... now I can't wait no more, love. Fen'er is dead. Our grandkids are dead. Their grandkids are dead.

Everyone... everyone is gone. It's just me." Her voice cracked, and her smile disappeared, eyes drawing translucent tears.

"How are you? I've wondered so many times I've lost count. No, I know you are doing wonderful. I know you are sweeping through, a beauty in each arm, your name a terror already. But I worry. I worry because you have a big heart, love. And you believe. You believe like nobody else. I worry they will see that in you and take advantage. Aah, how I wished I'd shared your talents so that I could watch over you and tell you when they are bad, like I did while you were here.

I go back to those conversations often, you know? Wondering whether I've taught you everything.

"But... you are strong. That is my faith and my reverie. And now that you've come back... haah, there are so many things I wish to tell you. I'd always played this part in my head, leaving behind a tiny piece of myself for you and what I'd say. Fen'er got married to that kid that used to follow you around all the time, begging you to take him in as a Disciple. You probably don't remember Gon, but he's a good kid. Smart. Strong. Devoted. He'd never taken in a concubine, even.

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"Their first, Min, oh love, he looked so much like you, it was like seeing a ghost. Was nothing like you, though; they'd spoiled the child rotten, and he got done in during a duel. Was barely nineteen when we buried him. I retired soon after, leaving it all to Fen'er. But... you know how she was like. Headstrong and stubborn, even when she's wrong. The sect collapsed not long after she died. But I never descended again. You built this cottage for us, and I've long since deemed it as my last dwelling.

"For a while, family came by; some to see how I was doing, some to ask for things. However, before long, I imagine my name was a distant echo to them. Last I heard, they'd become a small-time merchant family somewhere up north.

"Ah! Right! I almost forgot to tell you about Cui! Remember her? That damned fox who tried to thieve you away from me? Well, don't feel too bad for her--she got her Prince in the end, literally. She married that old brother of yours, Peng. She even visited me once, bragging about how she's a Princess, ha ha ha. She wore as much jewelry on her wrist as you've bought me in all our time together." She paused for a long while, and he waited, lips trembling.

There were ghosts even inside of him that were difficult to exorcise, especially those he'd forgotten were even there.

"... why didn't you stay, love?" She buzzed just barely.

"I know I told you to leave... but you should have ignored me, as you've done hundreds of times before. Is it selfish of me? Perhaps. But you were selfish, too. Always, as I recall. No... this is just the fear of finality talking, I'm afraid. You were meant for the skies, love, and I... I was not. Such is fate. Wherever you've gone, and however you've spent the past centuries of your life, I just hope... you were happy. That was always my worry with you, you know?

"You knew how to cultivate, you knew how to fight, and you knew how to thieve--and you knew it all with the best of them. But I... I don't think you were happy, love; not often, and not for long, anyway. Haah. Listen to me yap, ha ha ha. You did always say that the old people yapped too much.

"You were the only man I've ever loved, Tao. You stole my heart when I was sixteen, and it was yours all this while. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. Ignore my whinings, as they come from my longing, I promise; every day with you felt like I was stealing something from the Gods. And I knew that, one day, I'd have to return it. Pay back the debt. And that payment was all the lifetimes I've spent waiting for you. But... I've paid it all, my love.

And you're still chasing the ghosts of gods, as you always wanted.

"Thank you for remembering me, however far into the future this is. And I hope that, for our little while, you were at least a quarter as happy as I was. I won't say goodbye, my love.

"As you've always said: never say goodbye, for nothing is eternal. So, this is me, not saying goodbye... and simply saying what I wish I'd said more often: you have a great butt. I hope it's still great all these years later because, without it, your face was never good enough." With the last word, the wisps exploded into a shower of lights that dug into the dirt like ashes.

Long Tao burst into laughter as the darkness of the temple alighted for a moment, its aged walls washed over by the splendor they hadn't seen in eons. He laughed for a long while, feeling his heart grow lighter by a small bit. She was more right than she probably ever knew, he mused, glancing at the surroundings. In the end, the gift he gave to her... she returned. Not in a tangible way, but rather in one that he perhaps needed far more than any ordinary treasure of the world.

"It was good to see you, Ju'er," he whispered as he turned to leave.

"Until the death reunites us again."