Chương 43: Chapter 26 – Will

Jianyi did not think of himself as a hero from the stories he had so loved as a child. He did not want recognition. He did not even want friends. But to behave with dignity meant to uphold virtues when it mattered. Otherwise, it was self-centered. A costume. Jianyi entered a Rooted Stance as the boy who had just stolen the yellow flag came close to him. A broad grin spread on the young man's face. Triumphant.

He did not see the arm coming as Jianyi reached out, grasped the boy's chest, and made him crash to the ground. Eager not to give his muscles the opportunity to cool even for a bit, he grabbed the yellow flag and started his trot again. As he reached the girl who had been the front runner and was only slowly getting up from the ground, he threw the flag at her and continued without a look back. Losing his rhythm would cost him. He was sure. But it was yet another decision he would have to live with.

More and more candidates came from the other direction, renewing his hope that the halfway point was near. His muscles burned, and it was sweet relief as he reached a plateau where a number of outer disciples were handing out the yellow flags. He did not stop for a moment, just grabbed the cloth as it was handed to him, and made his way back down. Immediately, he could tell that he might be faster downhill, but the pain would increase manifold as other muscles, in particular his calves, were stressed.

The boy he had tackled was not far behind, climbing the last few steps, and hate like Jianyi had never seen before was etched into his face as they passed each other. No matter. He had to focus on himself. His breath was getting shorter and shorter, and he had to force himself to push oxygen deeper into his hurting lungs. Pain exploded in his side. Excruciating pain. He crashed to his knees. The boy from earlier stood above him.

"You want to protect the weak?!" Spittle flew from his mouth.

"Protect from this!" he kicked Jianyi in his already hurting side, turned around, and continued down the mountain. Jianyi struggled not to vomit. He forced deep breaths, suppressing the pain. It took minutes until he felt like he could get up again. He first took a few tentative steps, then slowly tried to find his rhythm again. One league on the back leg and the multiple stops, as well as the attack, had taken its toll. His pace had slowed down to a crawl. Staying within ninety minutes seemed like a distant dream.

Reaching the end at all seemed at risk. He continued. Two leagues. He did not care that others overtook him. Three leagues. The muscles in his calves cramped up. He fell to the ground. No more. He had made his choices; he would have to live with them. With the failure. With the shame. Earlier, he had had grand thoughts about dignity. Discipline and dignity. Lying on the ground was neither one nor the other. Something stirred deep within him.

Jianyi thought of his conversation with Elder Sun about his soul-empowered will. He had been disciplined in his meditation, yet made no progress in accessing this hidden strength. It seemed that—at least for now—this resource was only accessible to him under stress. Because now he felt himself getting up. There was no less exhaustion. No less cramping. No less pain. But there was will. The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. Will to overcome.

Will to stand up. To set one foot before the other. To continue. To succeed. The last few hundred paces were a blur. His next conscious thought was as he crossed the line and crashed to the ground, the will that had carried him so far having left him. For a few minutes, he just lay there, grateful he had made it. Disciple Guangming kneeled by his side.

"Candidate, you need to step to the desks to register your time." Jianyi nodded, being aware that he did not give a dignified impression and that he was embarrassing Elder Sun, Minghao, and even his mother should she hear about this. Slowly, he got up. Somebody handed him a cup of water. The cold liquid felt better than anything he had ever drunk. As he returned the cup, he noticed that it was the girl whom he had helped earlier who had given it to him.

He thanked her with a nod, which she returned with a shy smile, and made his way to the desks. One of the disciples produced a medallion and placed it over a plate on the desk.

"Name?" Jianyi remembered having gone through the procedure before and pulled out his medallion.

"I have this if it would be helpful?" The disciple looked at him, surprised, then turned to Elder Gao, who was still sitting in the tent entrance close by. He cleared his throat, "Elder Gao, if I may disturb you for a moment?"

"What is it?" the elder asked without getting up or even opening her eyes.

"The candidate already has a medallion." The elder's eyes snapped open, and she made her way over much quicker than her appearance would have made Jianyi believe.

"Where did you get this?" Elder Gao asked, frowning.

"I was made an interim outer sect disciple three months ago and received this."

"This is…" she tapped the back of her hand with a finger, "inappropriate. I was not informed. Use this medallion," she pointed towards the one that Jianyi had offered the disciple.

"I will have words with whoever approved this," she said with a glance at Jianyi.

"Continue!" she snapped, before returning to her seat. Jianyi did not have the energy to berate himself for causing a scene so quickly after his undignified arrival and likely failure. The day was off to a horrible start, and he could only hope that the next challenge would go better.

"My name is Pan Jing, and this challenge is called 'Heavens' Steps'." This time, the female inner disciple introduced the challenge while Guangming stood by the side.

"It will measure how many meridian gates you are likely to open and where you stand on that path. Follow me." The two disciples had led them to an area where multiple tents had been erected and moved towards one that had the name of the test written on a board on top of a pole in front of the tent. There were benches placed in front of the tent, and the candidates had sat down, Jianyi being grateful for the opportunity to recover. Pan Jing ducked into the tent and came back out moments later.

"They are ready. One at a time, please." Jianyi sat beside two young men, both of whom looked sturdy and had similar facial features, in particular a slightly hooked nose. The one to his left slapped him on the back and grinned at him.

"Sect or fighting?"

"What?" Jianyi was taken aback by the familiarity as well as the question.

"Well, you know my cousin Hong over there," he pointed to the young man on Jianyi's other side with his thumb, "and I, we think that we might be better off with the troops focusing on fighting, you know. Better than spending forever refining your spirit, or whatever cultivators do all day. I am Jun, by the way." Before Jianyi could come up with an answer, the female disciple motioned for Jun to enter the tent, meaning that it would likely be Jianyi's turn shortly after.

"Don't mind him," the other cousin, Hong, said to him with a smile, "he likes to meet new people. But he is right, we are probably not suited to be among all these nobles and rich merchant spawn. We are the first in our family to be cultivators, and imagine the surprise that two have the talent in the same generation." Jianyi nodded politely.

"It is nice making your acquaintance. I can't say I have deep insights into the sect, but most people I have met so far are kind and do not care about your background." He genuinely felt that to be a fair reflection on his time at the sect so far, and it might have been one of the reasons why the behavior of the boy from earlier, who now sat across from him on another bench, had appalled him so much. A few moments later, Jun stepped out of the tent.

He did not seem fazed in any way and retook his seat and nodded to his cousin and Jianyi, who was going to get up, but the disciple indicated that they would alternate between the benches, so he settled down again.

"Easy. No need to worry," was all that Jun reported to his cousin, before turning back to Jianyi.

"Now, what is it?"

"I will try to deal with either outcome with discipline and dignity, that's all…" He was interrupted by the snorted laugh of the boy across from him.

"We have seen your weakness; the outcome is not in doubt." As much as Jianyi wanted to push back against the dishonorable miscreant, he did not want more attention at this point. He just nodded politely to Jun and got up as the disciple waved him forward. He took a deep breath and stepped inside. The tent's white walls were unadorned, but a large rug covered the ground.

A desk stood to the side where an inner disciple was ready to take notes, and Guangming stood close to a contraption that took up the middle of the tent. A bronze framework held two plates side by side at chest height. Behind each plate, twelve white gems were stacked vertically a few finger-widths apart. As he stepped closer, he saw that the two plates were the backs of two cards; from the three golden lines on the edges, he could tell that both were rare. Guangming directed him to the left plate.

"Please place your hand on the left plate." Jianyi swallowed and followed the order. The card was cool to the touch, and Jianyi felt a slight vibration, not physically, more in his spirit. One after the other, the gems above the left plate started to glow in an intense green from the bottom. Quickly, three, then five, six gems started to glow before the speed slowed down. Jianyi felt his gut clench. If this was his true potential, and it was important for him to pass, it was not good.

But slowly, two more of the gems lit up. Eight. That was the number they had told his father was his potential. But he had beaten it, just like Jianyi had. Then the ninth gem started to light up, but it darkened a moment later, only to light up again. It continued to blink. Guangming looked at the disciple behind the desk, who frowned.

"Remove your hand, wait until all gems are dark, then do it again." Jianyi did not know what the blinking meant and was happy to comply. The result was not different, though. The ninth gem blinked continuously. The disciple behind the desk got up, oozing unhappiness with the situation.

"I will have to get Elder Gao. I don't know how to record this." As the disciple left, Guangming nodded to Jianyi.

"You can remove your hand while we wait. Don't worry about it." He did worry about it, though. One of the directions from Elder Sun had been to not raise attention to himself, and this would be the second time that he would be called to Elder Gao's attention in so many challenges. Things continued to not go the way Jianyi wanted.