Chương 68: Chapter 58: It just sucked that honesty hurt

Cynthia let her brush work through Riolu's pelt, drawing it slowly from between his ears and down along the back of his head. He sat between her legs with his back resting against her stomach, unusually still as she worked. Every so often, one of his ears twitched when the brush pressed a little hard, but he never made any attempt to move away. To anyone looking at the scene, it might have seemed like nothing more than a trainer doting on one of her Pokémon.

And if they knew that same trainer had finished a Gym battle only a few days ago, they might even assume it was some kind of celebration—a reward for her Pokémon after a job well done. There wouldn't even be anything wrong with that logic. Cynthia pouted. Normally, that is.

"Why does everything always have to end up becoming about politics?" she mumbled.

"It's so stupid, don't you think?" Riolu nodded slowly before grabbing her free arm and tugging it toward his small head. Cynthia absentmindedly began scratching behind one of his fluffy ears, her lips pursing. On some level—the level she had to reluctantly admit was the rational one—she knew Andre hadn't really been in the wrong. Still, even after three days had passed and they had left Hearthome behind entirely, her emotions hadn't quite caught up to that fact.

"And what's up with Myst not telling me he was planning on challenging the Gym at the fifth-badge level?" she continued.

"He wouldn't have done that when we first met." Her other hand lowered the brush into her lap before joining the first, fingers scratching through the fur on either side of Riolu's head.

"He would've told me. Or at least mentioned it." She paused.

"Well, maybe not." A sigh slipped out.

"But he's my boyfriend now, right? So he should share that kind of stuff." Riolu leaned farther back against her, clearly deciding that whatever grievance she was working through was worth encouraging so long as it kept both hands occupied. Cynthia applied some more pressure, her lips pursing.

"And I'm not saying his reasoning didn't make sense. Rei and Navi are both more than strong enough for that level, and Swadloon can deal real damage too, even if she'd basically be a glass cannon. I can even understand why he didn't seriously consider challenging at the fifth-badge level until those last few days, when he finally sat down and tested how ready his team actually was.

We got a ridiculous amount of time to just train while we were stuck at the halfway house, and then immediately got to stress-test all of it during the whole Grass Kingdom bullshit. But, like—" She trailed off as her mind drifted back to the conversation she and Myst had had at the restaurant Johanna had booked for them after the Gym battle. All things considered, maybe she had been… well, a little bit intense during the entire thing. She let out another sigh, turning Riolu around.

"What do you think?" Riolu blinked slightly, his expression a little bit dazed, before he gathered himself with impressive speed.

"Riolu." What? Cynthia narrowed her eyes.

"What do you mean, what?" Riolu stared back at her. A beat passed.

"... Riolu?" You're right? Cynthia stared at him. Then she slowly nodded.

"Yeah." Her lips began to curl upward.

"You're right. I am right." She gave his ears another scratch, looking considerably more pleased with herself.

"Fuck Andre." Riolu hurriedly pushed himself to his feet before nodding toward the training ground, his expression settling back into the stern seriousness of the martial artist he usually considered himself to be.

"Ri, Riolu, Riolu." Well, since that's settled, how about we train? He threw a few quick jabs at the air before immediately settling into something closer to an actual martial arts routine, his movements becoming sharper with every step. Cynthia started to push herself off the ground after him, only to pause halfway. For a second, she just stared at his back. Then her eyes narrowed.

"… You think I'm being petty too, don't you?" Riolu froze for the briefest moment. Then he hurriedly continued through the routine without so much as glancing back at her, as though sheer commitment to the act could somehow disguise the tiny slip. Cynthia glanced toward the rest of her team. Queenie was standing about as far away as she could get without making it obvious, her entire attention fixed on a nearby rock.

Fire flickered between her jaws as she worked on figuring out how to build from her newly mastered Fire Fang toward something resembling Flamethrower. It was admirable work, and a good next step toward rounding out her slight weakness at long range. It was also, Cynthia couldn't help but notice, apparently something that required so much concentration that Queenie hadn't looked in her direction once since Cynthia had tried talking to her about this earlier that morning.

Roselia, standing on the complete opposite side of the clearing from Queenie, was somehow even worse. At least Riolu and Queenie were ignoring her while doing actual training. Roselia, by comparison, was simply standing there with both flowery hands raised toward the sun. According to him, figuring out Synthesis required complete concentration. Which was fair.

Except his eyes were currently closed, his head had begun to droop forward, and his chest was rising and falling with the suspiciously steady rhythm of someone who had fallen asleep standing up. Cynthia narrowed her eyes further. Roselia let out a tiny sound, way too close to a snore for her liking.

"Seriously?" No response.

"None of you have anything to say?" Queenie's flames abruptly flared brighter. Roselia somehow became even more peacefully motionless. Riolu threw another punch. Cynthia stared at all three of them before slowly puffing out her cheeks.

"… Fine. I am being petty. Is that what you want to hear?" Queenie paused her practice and glanced over at her. The look on her face made it very clear that, yes, that was exactly what she had wanted to hear. … Cynthia let out a sigh and kicked a loose stone as they continued along Route 209. All things considered, they were making good time. The kind of good time she had almost forgotten was possible after the messes they had somehow managed to stumble into on nearly every route so far. Even so, for some reason…

She kicked the stone again when she caught up to it, then glanced to her side. At some point during the walk, Myst had gradually drifted closer until he was walking beside her. Not that walking beside her was unusual. What was unusual was the way he had been doing it over the last two days. He would start a couple of metres away, then slowly inch closer as the hours passed, as though testing how near he could get without making it obvious.

Myst caught her looking and gave her a smile, just like he had every time she'd tried to sneak a glance at him over the past two days. Cynthia tilted her head slightly, silently asking what the hell he thought he was doing. For some reason, that only seemed to brighten his expression. Without hesitation, he reached over and took her hand, threading his fingers through hers before swinging their joined hands dramatically back and forth like an overexcited child.

Cynthia looked down at their hands, then back up at his smile as it rapidly turned into a grin. Part of her wanted to be annoyed that he apparently thought something this simple could improve her mood. That all he had to do was smile, take her hand, and look at her with those annoyingly blue eyes and somehow she would stop being irritated with him. The rest of her was annoyed that it worked.

"So," Myst said, still swinging their hands between them, "any thoughts on what you want to focus on next with training? I know Queenie's been working on Flamethrower and Roselia on Synthesis, but what about Riolu?" Cynthia glanced away from him, his relentlessly cheerful presence irritating the part of her that still wanted to stay frustrated, and looked toward Riolu instead. Then, slowly, she pursed her lips.

"Not really sure," she mumbled after a moment, looking away again before Riolu could notice. Myst shot her a look that made it immediately obvious how little he believed that answer. Then his expression shifted. He blinked, the teasing suspicion fading into something more serious as he lowered his voice.

"…Wait. You're serious?" Cynthia hesitated before slowly nodding.

"It's not that I don't know ways for him to improve. There are plenty. We could start working on Thunder Punch, which would mean getting him used to actually manipulating Electric-type energy. We could focus on some of the moves he's still struggling with, like Vacuum Wave. But…" Her voice dropped even further.

"You've noticed him falling a little behind, right?" Myst didn't react in any audible way, but she still felt his hand tighten slightly around hers.

"What do you mean?" he asked, lowering his voice as well.

"I mean, putting aside Queenie, I guess compared to Roselia, he might have grown a little slower. But that's mostly because of how the whole Grass Kingdom thing worked out, right? Any Grass-type that went through something like that was going to grow explosively. Riolu got a lot out of it too, sure, but it's nothing compared to what Roselia gained." Cynthia nodded slowly.

"You're right. But that's not really what I'm talking about." Cynthia hesitated.

"I'm talking about the fact that Riolu is slowly hitting a glass ceiling when it comes to his growth. At least with the way I've been training him." Myst's eyes widened slightly, like something had suddenly clicked into place. Most people probably wouldn't understand what she meant by that alone. Even Johanna, experienced trainer or not, would probably just give her a weird look. Maybe even push back instead of realizing what Cynthia was actually trying to say.

Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings. Myst, though?

"Because he's a baby?" he asked simply.

"Yeah." He just got it. She glanced back up at him, her expression softening as he fell quiet for a couple of seconds, slipping into that thoughtful look he got whenever he needed to turn something over in his head. Then his eyes flicked toward Riolu.

"You've been training him like a Lucario," he more or less declared. She nodded.

"I have." Her eyes flicked back toward Riolu, who by this point was completely absorbed in his conversation with Rei, nodding dramatically at practically everything she said or gestured. Apparently, he'd decided his role in the conversation was to be the world's most enthusiastic yes-man. She felt a fond smile cross her lips as she watched him stumble after Rei like a lovesick puppy.

"When he first joined me, a few months before I started the Circuit, I talked to him about it. About how we should train, and what he wanted to focus on…" Her smile slowly faded, and she let out a sigh. Myst tilted his head when she didn't finish.

"And I'm guessing you gave him the choice between focusing on what would make him great as a Lucario and what would make him great as a Riolu?" he asked.

"A more straightforward Fighting-type style instead of leaning into speed, disruption, and being a constant nuisance? More like the way Andre fights?" Cynthia wrinkled her nose at the name.

"First of all, ew. And second of all, yeah. Exactly." Her eyes drifted back toward Riolu.

"We knew he was going to evolve eventually, so there wasn't much point in building his entire fighting style around being small and light when most of those advantages would disappear the moment he became a Lucario. He wanted to train for what he was going to become." She paused.

"And normally, that wouldn't really be a problem." Myst glanced at her.

"Evolution matters, obviously, but people tend to misunderstand how it matters." Cynthia shifted slightly against him.

"Take Gabite and Garchomp. Nobody is ever going to question whether a Garchomp can become ridiculously strong. But a Gabite can eventually get surprisingly close without evolving at all."

"The difference is how much work it takes?" Cynthia nodded.

"A Gabite might spend months grinding away at its strength and speed to make the same improvement a Garchomp gets almost instantly from evolving. Evolution raises the baseline by an enormous amount. It makes everything easier. But it doesn't necessarily raise the absolute ceiling by nearly as much as people think." She considered that for a moment.

"Well. It raises it some. Just not enough that an unevolved Pokémon can't compensate for most of the difference with enough training." Her gaze flicked briefly toward Queenie before returning to Riolu.

"That's why you still see really strong trainers with Pokémon that aren't fully evolved. Some Pokémon don't want to evolve. Some trainers don't care. And if they're willing to put in the extra work, they can usually make it work." Myst's expression shifted slightly.

"But baby Pokémon are different."

"Yeah. They are." Cynthia's voice quieted.

"They're called baby Pokémon for more than just the fact that they can't produce Eggs. Their bodies are still developing. There are actual physical limits to how far they can be pushed before evolving—limits that something like a Gabite just doesn't have in the same way."

"There have been Turtwig and Starly that made it all the way to Conference finals before," she continued.

"There's never been a single baby Pokémon that's even made it past the group stages." Myst squeezed her hand slightly, and some of the tension she hadn't even realized she was holding slipped out of her shoulders. Without really thinking about it, Cynthia drifted closer until more of her weight rested against him.

"So Riolu's starting to run into that?"

"Starting to." Cynthia nodded.

"He's nowhere near the actual limit yet. But he's getting to the point where every improvement is going to take a little more work than the last one. His growth is going to start slowing down while everyone else keeps improving normally." She frowned.

"And that's where the way we've been training him starts becoming a problem." Myst looked toward Riolu again.

"Because you've been training him for Lucario."

"Yeah. Right now, he's fighting in a way that'll carry over really well once he evolves. Strong fundamentals. Close-range exchanges. Aura control. Straightforward Fighting-type techniques. Things that'll still matter when he's twice his current size and a lot stronger."

"But they're not necessarily the best way to get everything you can out of a Riolu."

"No." She shook her head.

"If I wanted to make him as strong as possible right now, I'd probably lean harder into what his body is actually good at. Speed. Movement. Disruption. Making him difficult to pin down. More support techniques. More ways to create openings for the rest of the team instead of expecting him to stand there and trade blows with Pokémon that outweigh him several times over." Myst nodded slowly.

"And you didn't do that because you assumed he'd evolve before it became a problem." Cynthia grimaced.

"Pretty much." For a few seconds, neither of them said anything before Cynthia let out a sigh.

"…The worst part is that it's not even like I can just make him evolve. Before, I would've focused on strengthening his Aura and pushing him as far as possible, because the common theory is that Riolu evolve either when their Aura becomes strong enough or after some kind of personal realization." She shot Myst a pointed look.

"But somebody informed me of his actual evolution requirements, so now I know most of that would've been pointless. Thanks for that, by the way. Before then, I was pretty sure he'd just evolve once he got strong enough. Now I have to worry about whether he trusts me enough." Myst glanced down at her, and whatever attempt she had been making to look concerned immediately fell apart.

"You know, if you're going to guilt-trip me, you could at least try to look worried about the whole friendship-evolution thing." Cynthia didn't bother hiding her smile.

"Hey, I am worried about it. Just a reasonable amount." Her gaze returned to Riolu.

"I trust Riolu to trust me. I'm not worried that it'll never happen." Her smile faded slightly.

"The problem is that I have no idea when it'll happen." Myst was quiet for a moment before letting out a small sigh of his own.

"So the problem is that you have to make a choice. You can keep training him for the Lucario he's going to become and accept that he might start falling behind for a while." Myst nodded toward Riolu.

"Or you can pivot and start training around the Pokémon he is now."

"Yeah."

"And the problem with doing that is that the better you make him at fighting like a Riolu, the more time you're spending on things that might matter a lot less the second he evolves. Because at that point he's going to fight like he did before you pivoted." She let her head settle fully against his arm.

"Pretty much. And, don't get me wrong. It's not a crisis yet. The real limits don't start becoming a serious problem until a baby Pokémon is pushing toward the kind of strength you'd expect around the sixth or seventh badge." Her lips twitched.

"And right now, it's looking like that's probably not going to be my next badge anyway, is it?"

"I guess," Myst said softly, his shoulder going suddenly still beneath her head as he let her rest against him. He watched Riolu for another few seconds before glancing down at her with a small grin.

"You know, I've heard nothing builds a bond quite like suffering through exercise together. Why don't you join him? A hundred push-ups, a hundred sit-ups, a ten-kilometer run—the whole thing." Myst paused, his brow furrowing slightly.

"Actually, for some reason that sounds like the kind of routine that should make you ridiculously strong." Cynthia gave him a flat look. He shrugged with his free shoulder.

"Hey, I'm not saying you're out of shape. I'm just saying this could be your chance to get absolutely jacked." Cynthia poked a nail into his stomach.

"Sure. I can do that. But then how about you start shadowboxing with Rei? I mean, if suffering is apparently so good for relationships."

"… Touche." … After reaching Emeragrove Town, they ended up making camp just outside it. Normally, arriving in a town meant getting to spend the night in one of the circuit-designated rooms at the local Pokémon Center. Unfortunately, Emeragrove was tiny, and its Pokémon Center was equally small. By the time they arrived, every room was already taken. That left them with the option of paying for a motel, and at that point, they might as well just pitch their tents and sleep for free.

Cynthia slowly stirred her stew as she sat on one of the benches they'd found near the edge of camp, her thoughts elsewhere. It wasn't that she couldn't decide what to do about Riolu. In a sense, she already knew. She was simply going to ask him whether he wanted to keep focusing on his current training or branch out into something different. And, as she had told Myst, there was every chance the problem would simply solve itself anyway. No, what bothered her was the conversation itself.

The fact that, when everything was stripped down, her entire plan amounted to asking her Pokémon what he wanted. It stirred up old memories. Memories she had been doing her best not to think about since the beginning of her journey. Her grip tightened around the spoon. Fuck. She set the bowl down, careful not to do it hard enough to startle anyone. Myst and Johanna's heads immediately snapped toward her. Cynthia almost pouted, but caught herself at the last second.

Instead, she kept her expression carefully still and shook her head.

"It's nothing. Just a stomachache," she mumbled as she stood, stretching slightly.

"I'm going to take a short walk. You guys can keep eating." She swung herself over the bench and glanced toward where her team was eating. Riolu, as usual, had already finished, and the moment he noticed her getting up, he quickly trotted over to her side. Cynthia didn't bother looking down at him. She simply started walking, with no particular destination in mind. Not toward the Route, but instead into the forest beside it. She wasn't worried about getting lost. Not with Riolu right there beside her.

Still, after only a few minutes, she stopped. An old tree had been cut down nearby, leaving behind a broad stump, and Cynthia lowered herself onto what remained of it. It wasn't because she was afraid to go any farther into the woods. With Riolu beside her, she would have needed to walk for hours before she was even remotely concerned. They weren't exactly deep in the wilderness to begin with, either. The edge of Emeragrove Town was barely fifteen minutes on foot from their campsite.

Instead, she found herself staring blankly at the little river she had stumbled across. It wasn't much of a river, honestly. More of a large stream. Even so, every now and then, she caught sight of a Magikarp breaking the surface before splashing back down. It was almost funny. She had come out here to clear her head, only to stumble across something that dragged her straight back into the memories she had been trying not to think about.

"… You know you're technically my third Pokémon?" she said, unable to help herself. Her eyes remained on the stream, but the forest around her had already begun to blur at the edges. In her mind's eye, the trees became familiar ones. The stream widened and shifted into the one outside Celestic Town.

The same little stream she had played beside while Gible was still an egg, after reading in some old book that certain people believed Dragon-types had originally come from the sea, and that growing up near water would therefore make them stronger. Riolu shook his head, only to stop halfway through the motion. He hesitated, then glanced up at her, looking suddenly uncertain. Cynthia glanced back at him.

"Queenie told you?" Riolu took a moment before slowly nodding. She let out a quiet laugh at his reaction.

"Well, did she tell you that she was technically my second Pokémon?" Riolu blinked at that.

"Riolu?" Really? Cynthia glanced back toward the stream.

"When I was little, I used to play by a stream near Celestic Town." Her eyes followed the water as it slipped between the rocks.

"I'd drag Queenie's egg out there with me, set it down beside the stream, and pretend I was commanding her in battle. I'd shout attacks at the Magikarp swimming around in the water." A faint smile pulled at her lips.

"They never really reacted." Even now, just saying the words hurt a little bit. The memories felt bitter. Almost tainted.

"Then, one day, a group of kids a little older than me found the stream and were trying to catch some of the Magikarp to make them their Pokémon. One of them threw a rock at one. The Magikarp returned the favor by trying to spray him in the face, but he dodged, and the water hit Queenie's egg instead. It knocked Queenie's egg loose and sent it rolling into the river." Riolu's eyes widened, his gaze snapping away from the stream and back towards where Queenie sat at the campsite. Cynthia grinned.

"Yeah. I went ballistic. Screaming, crying, biting him. I thought I'd lost her forever. The last thing my mother had ever left me, gone just like that." Her expression softened.

"Then, suddenly, Queenie's egg came flying back out of the stream." Riolu tilted his head.

"Riolu?" The Pokémon? Cynthia nodded lightly.

"Yeah. She was the only Pokémon who bothered to help. She was like that. Always wanted to help." For a moment, Cynthia could almost see her again. Blue fins. Brown-scaled body. Those large, expressive eyes staring back at her from the water.

"The boys ran away, and I stopped crying long enough to check that Queenie was okay. Then I ran over to thank the Pokémon who'd saved her. She'd swum right up to the edge of the stream, and I hugged her like she'd just saved the entire world." A small smile returned to Cynthia's face.

"After that, I played with her every day whenever I went to the stream. Queenie hatched first, so she became my first official Pokémon, and a little while later Grandma finally let me catch my fishy savior." Her smile widened faintly.

"I even gave them their nicknames at the same time. Queenie and Beauty." Her lips curled downward a second later.

"But a couple of months before I met you, Beauty suddenly got quieter. She was never as strong as Queenie, but that had never really mattered before. I didn't usually lose when I battled the other kids back home anyway." Her gaze drifted back to the water.

"Even so…" Riolu climbed up onto the stump and sat beside her. He looked tiny next to her—Riolu weren't exactly large Pokémon—but one of his paws settled gently against her back… Tears slipped down her cheeks. Cynthia wiped them away quickly and shook her head.

"Sorry." She swallowed.

"One day, after training, I asked her if she even wanted to come on the journey anymore. She'd stopped putting as much effort into training, and I was so sure she was just tired. Or maybe that she felt like she didn't have any direction." Her fingers curled against her knee.

"I had all these things planned out. New ways we could train. Ideas for how she could get stronger. But she just said…" Her voice cracked. Cynthia stopped, swallowed again, and took a slow breath before forcing herself to continue.

"She said she didn't want to come. That she'd never wanted to go on a journey. That she just wanted to stay home." Cynthia stared down at the stream.

"And I argued with her. I asked if it was because she felt like she was falling behind Queenie. If she was scared she wouldn't be strong enough. I kept trying to figure out what the actual problem was, because I was so sure there had to be one." Her voice grew quieter.

"But she just stopped responding. And then I couldn't read her anymore. At all." Another tear slipped down her cheek. Cynthia didn't wipe this one away.

"That connection I'd felt with her for years was just… gone. It was like I was looking at a Pokémon I hadn't known for almost ten years." Her vision blurred. More tears followed, slow and warm, tracing silent paths down her cheeks. She let them. There wasn't much point in pretending anymore, not out here with nobody but Riolu watching.

"And I knew Pokémon could do that. Just… stop communicating if they didn't want to. I knew that." Her breath caught slightly, but she kept her voice steady.

"I just never thought it would happen to me. I never thought she would do that." Cynthia stared at the stream through watery eyes, then dried her tears again.

"Sorry. I don't even know why I'm talking about this. It's been months. And I should be over it by now. I just…" Riolu stood up, jumped onto her legs, then grabbed her hands. His grip was like steel, and even when she automatically tried to pull away, he didn't let go. He just held them.

"Riolu." It's fine.

"Riolu." Just cry. Cynthia stopped fighting it. Her hands went slack, and Riolu released them. A second later, she wrapped both arms around him and pulled him against her chest. He was warm. Not soft, exactly. Hard muscle sat beneath the fur of even a young Fighting-type, his little body much denser than it looked. But his fur was still warm against her face when she buried it against the top of his head. And then the tears came again. Quietly this time. She didn't break apart. Didn't start to shake.

Instead, the tears simply came, slipping steadily down her cheeks and disappearing into Riolu's fur as she held him close. She hadn't thought about the little Water-type for months. Hadn't wanted to. There had always been something else she needed to focus on instead. Getting ready for the circuit. Training Riolu after he joined. Buying everything she needed. Planning her route. Making sure she was actually prepared to leave Celestic Town.

And once the journey started, there had only been more things to occupy her mind. Badges. Training. Myst. Her team. Whatever problem happened to be sitting directly in front of her that day. It should have been easy to continue to just forget.

"Riolu, do you want to continue training like you have? Or should I look at alternative methods?" she asked suddenly. Riolu didn't even hesitate.

"Riolu Rio." Continue training. She nodded into his fur.

"Okay, then let's do that."