Chương 2: Chapter One
Bob the Walking Bank - A Monster Evolution Lit-RPG (Book 1 Complete!) · Absurdist Ape · 83 chương · ~19 phút đọc · Tạo 05/07/2026
He woke terrified. His final moments on the bridge flashing through his mind in an instant; the delayed shock of the truck's impact finally registering. The fact that his memories cut to black instantly after filling him with a dawning sense of horror. A sense which wasn't helped by the fact that he couldn't feel his arms and legs.' I'm paralyzed', he thought, after a few moments of desperately trying – and failing – to thrash his body around.' I'm in the hospital and I'm paralyzed.
The truck crashed into the safety railing and it broke my spine.' He tried to stifle tears and stop himself from crying out at the thought, before becoming even more horrified when he realized that they weren't coming. He didn't feel liquid begin to creep in at the corner of his eyes or sense deep, racking sobs trying to claw their way out of his diaphragm. He felt empty.' What happened? How badly am I hurt? Why can't I see anything, why can't I feel anything?
AmIinacomaisthiswhatacomafeelslike!?' His thoughts spun in circles while he tried desperately to hold himself together. Unfortunately, each method only left him spiraling further and further out of control. Trying to take long, deep breaths alerted him to the fact that he wasn't actually breathing in the first place. Attempting to center himself by focusing on the feel of the hospital bedsheets only made him more aware that his sense of touch had joined sight in taking complete leave of his body.
He was about to collapse into full hysterics before he realized he had at least one sense still remaining. In the distance, cutting through all his manic thoughts, he could just make out a slight pinging noise. He instantly focused the entirety of his being on the sound; grasping onto it as if he feared without it his mind would fly away entirely. At first, he thought it might be a piece of medical equipment, perhaps a monitor for his heart or lungs. It didn't take long for him to dismiss that idea though.
The noise was too deep and too wet. After that, he considered a saline or plasma drip as the culprit, before similarly dismissing the idea out of hand. It was too loud. Echoing around the room. The distinct sound of water droplets impacting metal. There were no rattling carts and beeping machines. No walking conversation between nurses and orderlies while they checked charts and refilled medications. No happy music over the intercom announcing a new child born into the world. Only the steady echoing drip.
Occasionally followed by the slightest blowing of what might be a feeble breeze. His hysteria from earlier began to fade away. Replaced by a terror far more primal. Because he wasn't in a hospital. He was blind and mute and paralyzed. And he wasn't in a hospital. He was in a wet, cavernous room with no sound nearby signifying people. He felt a despair deeper than he had ever known existed begin to seep into his body. A horrifying acceptance which killed all thought of struggle or concern.
Because he was going to die here. Alone and afraid. The only mercy given to him the fact that whatever had destroyed his body, had also killed off his ability to feel pain. The only thing that he could do was wait to bleed out or suffocate. Hope that he wouldn't be forced to linger. Forced to sit here, stuck, alone with himself. Robert Stadler quietly resigned himself to die. Ding! Congratulations!
As a sapient lifeform of Seraphia who has recently reached their coming of age, you have been blessed by access to the system and the opportunity to choose a Class! Classes will become available upon acquiring the necessary skills and attributes required for the Class in question. Classes and their skills will level separately from both your Species and any Skills you naturally obtain. Once chosen, your Class will become permanent. Forever changing you, Mind, Body and Soul.
Additional Class Slots may be acquired at higher Species Evolution. Please choose wisely! Currently available Classes: None Open Status Page? Yes - No If the ringing sound surprised him, then the sudden appearance of floating blue windows in his otherwise blank vision left him dumbstruck. For a moment he felt a surge of hope. The evidence that one of his deadened senses was coming back online hit him like a sudden blast of dopamine.
One that faded rather quickly once he read the messages and his brain had a moment to register the insanity of the situation. After which, it briefly ground to a halt.
'… What?' Was his first coherent thought following the freeze. Followed shortly after by considerations of near-death psychosis or shock-related hallucinations.' Or maybe I am in a coma and my subconscious is trying to make my existence more… palatable.' Bob thought. Briefly ignoring the ridiculousness of the idea as his non-existent eyes stayed locked on the words in front of him. The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
He stared at the window for a few seconds more before deciding he really didn't have anything to lose. Especially when the alternative to playing along – even if this admittedly might be a trauma induced delusion – seemed to be sitting alone in a damp room deprived of all his senses. He'd take an order of delusion, thank you.
He was a bit worried about how he was supposed to interact with the windows, given his current lack of usable appendages and vocal cords, but it seemed able to read his intentions and eager to please; closing the previous windows and opening another to show him his status screen.
Name: Robert Stadler Title: (None) + Species: Lesser Mimic (F) + Class: (None) + Level: 1 Health: 1/1 Mana: 48/48 Strength: 1 Dexterity: 1 Constitution: 1 Intelligence: 48 Perception: 1 Willpower: 18 Species Traits: + Class Skills: + Obtained Skills: + Blessings: + He stared blankly at the screen for a moment, trying to wrap his head around the information.' Am I… in a video game?' This profound question was quickly followed by another.' What the heck is a 'Lesser Mimic'?'
The second, at least, he seemed to have some ability to answer. He quickly focused on his intent to press the small + symbol beside his species. Staring with some amazement as a new window actually opened up in his otherwise blank vision. Lesser Mimic Born of an act of theft, these amorphous monsters inhabit small sacks and coin purses. They are considered little more than nuisances, biting the fingers of the greedy and unwary. Level: 1 Rank: F (Coin Purse) Skill Maximum: 1 Level Up: 0/2 Copper Coins Alert!
Unchosen Species Trait Available! Bob stared blankly at the screen for a moment. He… was a coin pouch. He had died the day he found out his wife was cheating on him and stealing his money. And been reborn as a living wallet. One which needs to make money to level up. As he mentally pressed the 'Species Trait' button, he couldn't help but think Hell was far more creative than he expected. Ding! Please choose (1) of the following Traits! Further traits can be gained by increasing your Species Level.
Treasure's Allure (F) Eyes Like Jewels (F) Gilded Teeth (F) Creeping Hoard (F) The moment he saw the mention of 'eyes' in one of the choices, Bob's mind immediately lunged towards the option. Between the sensory deprivation and the otherworldly nature of what was happening to him, he felt like he was clinging to sanity by his fingernails. If there was even the smallest of chances that the ability would return his sight to him, he'd choose it a million times over. He had zero interest in the other traits.
Luckily, for the first time in a while, fortune seemed to smile on him. Ding! Congratulations! You have acquired a new Trait! Eyes Like Jewels (F) The Mimic gains sight through a Jeweled ornament which appears tastefully attached/implanted to its host body. Gains further access to 'Ocular' Path Traits/Skills. Perception + 5 Bob ignored the window, focused instead on the world which had suddenly appeared behind it. Well, world might have been a bit much.
But still, he had never so enjoyed the sight of damp rock walls. He was in a cave. One carved of black stone, whose ceiling stretched out into distant darkness. Its existence only confirmed by the occasional droplet of water falling from above. Unfortunately, this was all he could divine about his location. Seeing as his only source of vision was pointed directly upwards, giving him little clue about the rest of his surroundings. Despite this, if he'd had lungs, Bob would have breathed a sigh of relief.
He could feel the terror being pushed back as he scanned what he was able to see of the room. The restoration of his sight putting the situation in perspective and allowing his rational mind to start exerting more control. … Which was just about when he realized that he still couldn't move. Something which felt like far more of a liability than it had just a moment ago. And one of those traits he'd skipped had included 'crawling' or 'creeping' in the title, hadn't it?' I may have just made a mistake...'
Bob thought slowly, staring into the darkness above him. Still, he wasn't really sure a blind thing crawling on the floor was all that superior to a seeing one laying paralyzed on top of it. Especially given that he only had one hit point. He hadn't had much time for video games after college, but even he knew that was bad. Frankly, the choices of 'crawl blindly towards your death' or 'lay there and watch as it comes towards you' were adding weight to the 'this is hell' line of thought.
He gave it another attempt, but any struggle for movement – even just of his eye – resulted in nothing. There was nothing there to move with. No muscles to flex or tendons to pull. If the windows were correct then he was nothing more than an empty pouch with a gem attached to it. And even that wasn't something he could verify, given his inability to look at anything other than wet, looming stone. It was honestly kind of funny.
He'd gone from having the worst day of his life, to being stuck in a situation so horrifying that he genuinely couldn't care less about his previous drama. If it would bring him back to that bridge, he'd gladly transfer every cent he had to his wife's account and shake her affair partner's hand. Maybe this was the Universe's way of telling him to keep things in perspective.' Still, this is the worst of it, right God? The Devil? A. I. in charge of this simulation?
I can't think of anything I've really done to deserve this, outside of general disbelief. After you kill me again here, we're square, right?' Bob did not feel himself above begging for mercy. Especially given the current situation. Unfortunately, the only response from the universe was another drop of water falling from the unseen ceiling. This one landing directly in the middle of his bejeweled eye.

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