Chương 10: Food Fight

Rowan That's the rich girl who got scammed! For some reason, that was Rowan's only coherent thought as he continued staring speechlessly into her eyes. His next thought was, how did I not see how pretty she was? A girl like her could throw the entirety of Righteous Mountain City into an uproar. Her hands covered the delicate gasp that left her lips, the vermillion at the corners of her silver eyes deepening. On the center of her forehead was the faint outline of a crescent moon.

Her hair was such a deep, dark black that it seemed to gleam purple. Rowan didn't want to let his eyes follow the graceful lines of her form beneath her black robes - that would be crude - but he did notice that her robes, while plain and unadorned, were clearly woven from the highest quality beast silk.

"Uh…" Rowan started before shaking his head, struggling to focus.

"Um, I'm sorry. About your meal, I mean, miss."

"Rowan!" Ash's strained yell echoed through the establishment. He was perched on the railing of the balcony. Quentin was standing opposite of him, balanced on a single foot on the wooden beam, his arms up like the wings of a crane about to take flight. His cousin tried to fend off the series of kicks aimed at him, but it was difficult to defend himself and also keep afoot of the railing.

Rowan grabbed a bone white ceramic dish stained with spaghetti sauce from the ground, twisted his arm back and flicked it at Quentin, hitting him in the back of the head. As Quentin careened forward, his arm caught on the edge of the railing and he fell, tearing the wood off of the balcony entirely. Ash lost balance and slipped off the side of the railing as well, flailing as he plummeted towards the ground, screaming in fright.

Quentin went through a table as Rowan had, and planted facefirst into a family sized vat of stew. There was a hearty glug as he pulled his head out of it. The stew dripped from his face as he shook his head frantically, sending carrots and chunks of beef everywhere. Ash's robes snagged on a hanging plant halfway down, catching him like a piece of laundry. He looked embarrassed and disheveled, half of his hair undone.

The boy who'd pushed Rowan off the railing and the girl, with her fingers curled around the chicken leg, jumped off the balcony after them. The boy with the fan peeked out from the ruins of the Jade Lotus Lounge and left, running down the stairs.

"Sorry!" Rowan whispered to the girl with the conchshell-hairpin again in embarrassment, leaping up. By this point, the entire restaurant was in shambles. Even mortals with brain damage could tell it was time to leave. Ash kicked off the wall, stumbling to his feet. The girl grabbed a fistful of hot skewers, pieces of meat still steaming from them, and held them between her knuckles. She advanced on Rowan like a stalking wildcat.

Rowan kicked a chair at her and she batted it away, but the skewers got stuck in the wood. She tried to shake the chair off.

"I'm just a lowly cultivator who formed his Qi Sea yesterday. Why is a mid-stage Qi Condensation master from the great Blackscale Sect bullying me?" asked Rowan, trying to sound pitiful but failing. Indeed, Rowan didn't really want to get into a fight. His Qi Sea had not refilled yet since his fight with Jan." Yesterday? Ash, you cradle-robber…" Quentin looked between Ash and Rowan with new eyes.

"Oh. I see. You are family." He chuckled and grabbed a silk banner from the wall, using it like a whip to grab Ash by the ankle and trip him.

"The fates must be smiling on me today. Giving me, Quentin Sterling, an opportunity to share pointers with two Helsings." A silver flash from above. The boy with the fan was on the second story, and three pairs of chopsticks flew directly at Ash. At this speed, who could say they weren't deadly weapons? Ash struggled on the ground like a worm, tied up in the silk banner. Rowan grabbed a tray of dumplings and flung it outward, the steamed dumplings knocking the chopsticks aside.

His heart quickened in worry- he almost didn't have the brainpower to marvel at his newfound accuracy. It was like his eyes could pick out the chopsticks in the air perfectly, his brain could calculate the exact distance between himself and the chopsticks, and his muscles responded with the exact strength needed. Suddenly, from across the room, chopsticks were being shot at him. Rowan dodged just barely in time, but one of the sticks pierced through the edge of his sleeve. It must have disrupted the spellstitching.

He could feel his sleeves get heavier, and then things began to slide out. The first thing was the Wandering Bulb.

"No!" he hissed. He tried to grab it back, but it evaded him, prancing off to run circles around Quentin with shining teeth.

"Ash, grab it!"

"What the hell is that? Your pet?"

"A man-eating onion."

'Man-eating', obviously, was not in the spirit of a 'harmless' dialogue over food. Ash cursed, but he couldn't navigate his way out of the silk banner.

"Just rip it," advised Rowan.

"I can't! It has a poem from the Five Wine Saint on it. Do you know how many years of bad luck I'll have if—" Quentin was kicking the Wandering Bulb away, but there were a lot of obstacles on the ground, so Quentin only got more frustrated as he tried to stomp on the onion but his foot went through a table or the actor's violin instead.

"Of course a Helsing would have such a devious familiar as this. That's what your family is known for, isn't it? Even your Foundation Establishment ancestor is a poison cultivator. Nearly demonic, if you ask me!" Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. Ash laughed.

"You should look at your face, at how green it is. My small family still managed to produce a cultivator as great as my aunt. What about yours? You might have three Foundation Establishment ancestors but they've all been stuck at the early stage for decades! They aren't worthy to exist in the same conversation as the Silk Witch!"

"You dare? My ancestors are pillars of the righteous faction. Of course your aunt will be a bit faster considering how she steals opportunities from her allies without a second thought!"

"Pillars of the righteous faction? Something a few feet tall can barely be counted as a pillar." An incredibly short and fat man heaved through the entrance, his overhanging belly jostling as he collapsed forward. Despite the heat, he was dressed in layers of thick green and black brocade, and it seemed he'd pillaged an entire pawn shop of its jade trinkets, wearing them all at once. He pointed at them with great effort.

"There!" Two beautiful women followed him. One had a simple beauty, wearing crimson robes and an awkward expression. The other was far more exotic and eye-catching - elaborate white robes flowed around her slim form, but her hair white as snow, and her eyes icy blue. Her pupils were thin like a snake's.

"Cavern Lady Dawnshard!" Ash cried out, as he and three disciples kneeled. Rowan followed. As he prostrated himself he felt the Wandering Bulb shimmy back up his sleeve. The damaged spatial storage, it seemed, was better at keeping things inside which did not actively wish to leave. The fat man who must've been the owner of the establishment waved his arms around.

"Look at the damage! The Jade Lotus Lounge is a pile of sticks, half the flooring tiles - glazed personally by Hudi, I assure you - are shattered, these tables and chairs - antiques! - destroyed… All my customers have been driven away, the damage to my restaurant's reputation is irreparable. This building has been my family's livelihood for forty generations. How can I possibly face my ancestors?!" The red-robed woman gave the fat proprietor a strained smile, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Ah… my disciples didn't mean it. They're new to cultivation and hotblooded! You know how it is…"

"Honored Immortal - " Cavern Lady Dawnshard shoved a sack into the man's arms, cutting off his complaints. He opened it and the reflection of gold bricks shone on his face.

"You make a salient point," the man stuttered out.

"It's just a few scratches, after all, no need to involve the sect."

"My thoughts exactly!" chirped Cavern Lady Dawnshard. The man stumbled out of the restaurant as though in a daze. Master Dawnshard waved him off before turning on her disciples with a stern expression.

"What the hell is going on here? Squabbling in the city, amongst mortals? You better have a good explanation!" Before anyone could respond, the white-haired woman snorted.

"Junior Sister, you are too soft. These little Qi Condensation nobodies are throwing insults at the Foundation Establishment immortals fighting for their lives in the Southern Continent. They should have their tongues cut out for their insolence."

"Fairy Snowsong…" Rowan flinched at the name. He hadn't recognized the daoist title Dawnshard, but he did know Snowsong. She was a famous and high-ranking independent cultivator of the Alliance of Earthly Harmony, with many great deeds to her name. Ash also appeared to recognize her, but instead of being cowed like Rowan, he went utterly still. All the indignant embarrassment smoothed out from his face, and his expression became blank. Those icy blue eyes pinned Rowan's.

They stared through him, like she was seeing his soul. Maybe she was.

"Interesting," muttered Fairy Snowsong.

"I thought the Helsing clan was rather broke. Good to see they still have a few methods." Rowan grasped his abdomen, eyes going wide. No, not his soul. His Qi Sea. She was somehow looking right at his Qi Sea. At the size of it. Fairy Snowsong's gaze flickered to Ash, then back to Rowan.

"Or, perhaps, it was a fortuitous opportunity." Rowan pressed his forehead to the ground, the feeling of Fairy Snowsong's regard like the burning of ice water - like imminent doom. He knew the quality of his Qi Sea would grab attention. He just hadn't realized it would be so soon. He also knew that if he lied, she would know. He knew it like he knew crops died in the winter cold. No matter what, he couldn't disclose the existence of the bloodstone.

Artifacts that could assist with cultivation were rare, and even a Foundation Establishment cultivator might be tempted to snatch it. If not for themselves, then for a promising junior.

"This lowly one's name is Rowan Helsing. My father was killed when I was young, so the patriarch pitied me and sent a letter to my guardian, my Great-Aunt Iris, imploring her to look out for me…" The implication was obvious. Since this Fairy Snowsong was part of the Alliance of Earthly Harmony and seemed to respect the Foundation Establishment cultivators fighting at the border, Rowan shamelessly cowered behind his Great-Aunt's name. He only hoped the tree's shade was large enough to hide him.

Fairy Snowsong's expression immediately changed to something pensive.

"I was under the impression that the Poison Who Waits did not rate her family too highly." Rowan was struck by the way she used a pejorative nickname for his aunt with a respectful tone.

"But if such a hero would vouch for you, I'll make no more of this matter." Cavern Lady Dawnshard pressed her palm to her forehead.

"Alright, let's go back home everybody. I won so much gold at the gambling den, but turns out I was fated to lose it all on the same day. I'm in a terrible mood. If anyone complains even once, I'm giving out beatings."

"Too soft, Junior Sister," muttered Fairy Snowsong.

"Where's Cann?" The red-robed woman seemed to remember she had five disciples not four. In the silence, the distant clatter of pots and pans came from the kitchens. It seemed during the chaos, the lazy boy who had pushed Rowan over the railing had snuck away to raid the kitchens.

"Should I fetch him, master?" asked Quentin gently. In front of his teacher, the arrogant disciple had transformed into a submissive sleeve-wringer.

"Why? He knows the way back." Cavern Lady Dawnshard's cheerful smile twitched, the way water shifted when a dangerous predator moved just beneath the surface.

"After all, my precious disciples, neither you all nor Cann will be eating so lavishly in the future once I confiscate your sect tokens."

"Still too soft, Junior Sister," repeated Fairy Snowsong, sighing. /// When the door to Ash's dorm closed, Rowan turned to him.

"You're furious."

"Yeah." Ash snorted and plopped down on the bed. He untangled his hair crown, which was sliding off his head, and tossed the expensive accessory aside like it was a roadside trinket.

"My fellow cavern brothers and sister ruined our meal, and I'm getting punished for it. Again. Of course I'm mad." He sat up.

"But I'm really grateful you helped me out, brother. If it weren't for you I would've truly been screwed--""No. It's the Earthly Harmony woman. You hate her." His cousin laughed.

"Nah, hearing the title 'Snowsong' just reminded me of how I haven't picked a daoist name yet. I was thinking…" He spread his arm out.

"Daoist Grandiose Revelation. It's scholarly, but also delightfully flashy, just like me." Rowan crossed his arms.

"It's been five years since I last saw you, but you haven't changed much. Not in any way that matters. I can still read you. You hate her."

"Speaking of, why was Snowsong so interested in you? Did the patriarch really—"" Ash." Ash paused.

"I might. Hate her."

"Because the Alliance conscripted Great-Aunt Iris?" The boy's fists clenched.

"Partly. But..."

"What?" A pause stretched, increasing in gravity with every second. Ash looked away. Then, a bitter whisper.

"Can you keep a secret?"