Chương 202: Pillar of Toes

"That's enough. I need to go to bed," I said. Cluma grumbled and her tail tightened around my leg.

"If you..." I started.

"Umm... We could..." Nope. I couldn't say it. Maybe next time.

"Huh?" she asked groggily, so I employed [Redistribute] to run away before she started questioning me on what I was trying to say. Disappointed noises sounded from downstairs, but she'd just have to get over it. I still wasn't ready to share a bed, even if it was only for cuddles. Thankfully, she didn't press the issue, and with how quickly I fell asleep, it seemed like a matter of minutes before the sun was back out and I was getting dressed for an institute visit. Armour or civilian clothing?

I peered at the pair of outfits laid out on my bed, trying to decide between them. What were the chances something would explode today? Not zero, but not high enough for armour. I stored it back in my [Item Box], while making sure I could don my helmet at a moment's notice.

"Are you sure it's just upgraded rings you want?" demanded Cluma.

"You promise there will be no chopping off of limbs or other self-mutilation?"

"Yes," I answered truthfully.

"I have no intention of chopping off any body parts, or otherwise harming myself in any way." I stopped to consider the end of that sentence.

"Aside from possibly causing myself a bit of itching," I added, to ensure my statement was still a hundred percent honest.

"What's going to make you itch?" asked Cluma suspiciously, before her ears twitched.

"Wait, what are you planning to pay Grover with this time?" I stumbled slightly.

"Umm... plans for a device I thought up? Although I want to try making it myself first, to see if I can get another skill level from it." Cluma's eyes narrowed and her tail puffed up.

"You're going to sell Grover your idea for an enchanted device that can detect me!"

"Uh... Well, if you don't want an upgraded ring..." There were a few seconds of silence, during which I evaluated my options for escape, but came up empty. Then Cluma vanished, tackled me, shoved me to the floor and started tickling. My attempts at counter-attacking were complicated by Cluma being invisible, but I flailed around anyway, laughing my head off. And then I happened to get a grasp on her tail. I squeezed, she squeaked, and the tickling stopped.

"Time for my revenge?" I suggested, giving another little squeeze.

"Nooo!" she cried.

"That's cheating!"

"And being invisible isn't?"

"Nu-uh! That's making use of available resources!" What? Now she was stealing my lines! I squeezed again, eliciting another squeak.

"Meanie!"

"It was a serious question, though. If you don't want an upgraded ring, I don't need anything to sell to Grover."

"Of course I want rank three versions of my stat rings. Doesn't mean you don't deserve punishment for how you intend to get them!"

"Would it be enough punishment if I agreed to get a tail added?"

"That's not punishment. You're not fooling anyone anymore! I know full well you want one!" Cluma paused.

"Hey, that's why you mentioned an itch! You were already planning it!"

"Umm..." I started.

"Maybe?" Cluma giggled.

"Come on then. Let go of my tail, and let's get you one of your own for me to squeeze."

"I'm suddenly having second thoughts..."

"Too late now!" I had to admit to enjoying the byplay. I wasn't quite being dragged along at Cluma's pace, but I wanted to be. It was a weird feeling, trying to let loose and go with the flow, despite my head insisting I act mature. Not least because I generally failed at maturity to begin with. We made it almost to the institute with no further incidents. Shame about the last hundred metres, which, if I counted up the bangs correctly, contained a total of fifteen incidents.

Sixteen, if I included the glob of molten metal that pinged off my hastily donned helmet.

"I dunno why you always complain about me doing dangerous experiments," I muttered as we took refuge in the building.

"At least they don't deliberately blow things up," responded Cluma, with one hundred percent inaccuracy. When we reached the field, the explosions turned out to be very much intentional.

"Peter!" exclaimed Grover, who was plucking shards of hihi'irokane out of the ground.

"Perfect timing. We should have enough for a finger by now."

"Huh?" The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

"A finger! This hihi'irokane is like a higher rank version of orichalcum. Tougher. Lighter. Doubles the strength of enchantments applied to it. It's better in every way!"

"Aside from the obvious one," complained one of the other researchers who was assisting Grover in his attempt to earn the [Pyromaniac] trait.

"We can't manufacture the damn stuff!"

"Yeah, that," agreed Grover.

"I improved on your mana-bomb design, so we can get a few flakes of the stuff out of each grenade, but at this rate, it's going to take a full season to manufacture a single ingot's worth."

"What's that got to do with a finger..." I started before working it out. Darn, and I'd promised Cluma there would be no Peter-mutilation involved today.

"Okay, fine, but I'm leaving the Cluma pacification to you." Grover winced, suddenly looking uncertain. Meanwhile, Cluma's tail puffed up again as she worked out what Grover wanted too.

"You're not chopping Peter's fingers off just to manufacture some shiny new metal!"

"Only one finger, and it'll grow back. That's the whole point!" Grover pleaded.

"And don't you dare abuse the word 'just' like that."

"If we manufacture enough of it, perhaps we can make your new rings from it?" I tried, causing Cluma to hesitate.

"Argg. Is it bad I'm actually considering that? Stupid Peter! Your stupidity is infectious!"

"Ha. Embrace the madness! We have... I want to end that sentence with cookies, but you don't eat sweet things. Enchanted kobold steak?"

"You enchanted a steak?!" exclaimed Grover.

"Got two levels from it, too. The System rewards thinking outside the box, after all."

"And don't I know it, but still. Steak?!"

"Fine," sighed Cluma, giving in.

"But Peter, you owe me enchanted steak for the rest of the week."

"A lower price than you normally charge," I agreed, thankful that my current outfit—underwear included—contained a total of zero lace.

"We did actually come for a stat ring upgrade for Cluma, and I had another idea for something I wanted to manufacture. Also, umm..." I edged closer and lowered my voice.

"I've given in. I want a tail."

"I do enjoy visits from you two," said Grover after a hearty laugh.

"Never a dull moment. Let's grab Kari, and we can get started." We left Grover's helpers to clean up their bomb site and set off for Kari's workshop.

"Toe!" exclaimed Cluma, seemingly at random as we reached her door.

"What?"

"Do a toe, not a finger. It's less important if it all goes wrong."

"Okay, that's reasonable," I agreed, fairly sure it would make no difference whatsoever to safety. The poor girl was struggling between her safety-consciousness and bribery, so it wouldn't hurt to give her a lifeline to grasp. Besides, chopping toes off would hopefully hurt less.

"What's all this about a toe?" asked Kari, opening her door. The plant-life in her office seemed rather more vibrant than I remembered the last time I'd been there. I still wasn't entirely sure what she was up to, but I was fairly sure it involved greenery.

"We're going to chop Peter's off a few times," answered Grover"Please don't phrase it like that," grumbled Cluma, still not sufficiently on board with the plan to let a comment about chopping my toes off pass her by unchallenged. Kari gave me a Look before seemingly recalling our [Superimpose] experiments.

"Oh! The duplication trick! It was useless for other materials because the rate of production would be too low, but for that new stuff you're messing with, it'll be great."

"Exactly. So we need you to [Heal]," nodded Grover. Kari claimed to have some stuff to wrap up before she could join us, but once again, didn't mention what it actually was. I should just ask her. She'd definitely tell me, right? I should have asked what she was up to while we were on our way to the ark, but as usual when anything to do with the ark was involved, I'd had other things on my mind.

That left the other three of us in Grover's workshop, where he melted the shards of hihi'irokane together and started smithing them into a toe, the stuff thankfully easier to work with than adamantite. I took the opportunity to link a water and air crystal, funnelling the stream of water over the air crystal. Cluma started laughing, and Grover looked up an exasperation.

"Why have you made a water fountain in the middle of my workroom?"

"It... didn't work quite as planned," I answered, hurriedly using [Expert Mana Control] to disable the unexpected water feature by cutting off its mana supply.

"The water crystal needs less mana, I think." Using a mana control skill was actually a great way to engage in trial and error; I could adjust the mana flows without having to make physical alterations. A greatly limited water crystal and strengthened air crystal worked together to produce not the fine mist I was hoping for, but something more akin to a pressure washer, a fact that caused Kari great amusement. She'd turned up at some point while I was experimenting.

"While I appreciate your efforts to wash my ceiling, perhaps you could take any further experiments outdoors," suggested Grover.

"But save that for later. I'm ready." I stored my infinite water pistol with [Item Box]. It may not have been quite what I was aiming for, but it was still a cool toy. I'd have great fun chasing Cluma around with it later. Grover tossed me a tiny, red-tinted rod of enchanted metal. It wasn't really toe shaped, but we weren't going for accuracy here, so I activated [Detach], plucked off my little toe, used the second stage, ignored the blood loss from such a small wound, and attached the new metallic one.

A quick [Redistribute] later, and we were ready for some amputation.

"How much of my toe can [Heal] regenerate?"

"Normally, none, but when you lost your hand last, it had more effect than it should have. I think it interacts with your [Regeneration]. I can probably regrow the whole thing."

"Let's start with half then. I don't want to have to go bother Raymond just because we got over-eager." Cluma stood back, twitching and obviously holding herself back from yelling at us. Grover brought out an adamantite scalpel, knelt down and sliced. I winced, but managed to watch as the hihi'irokane toe split in half. Kari cast [Heal], and my toe grew back. The enchanted duplicate grew with it.

"Yes! We increased our stock by half in one go!" exclaimed Grover, beaming. Of course, half again wasn't enough, so we kept going until Kari's [Heal] started waning in effectiveness. ding Skill [Regeneration] advanced to level 4"My foot hurts," I complained.

"That might have something to do with the way you just sliced your toe off over and over!" complained Cluma.

"True. Anyway, is that enough material for some rings?"

"Yup. I'll do some for both of you." Grover started hammering again, but stopped halfway through, blinking in surprise.

"You're completely right, you know," he said eventually, turning to Cluma.

"Peter's insanity is infectious."

"Huh? What did I do this time?" I complained. I'd just been standing quietly in a corner! Given how quickly Grover worked, I hadn't thought it worthwhile to resume my own experiments this time, with his furnace already up to temperature. He didn't answer, but resumed his hammering. Was he working slightly faster? And what was with the massive grin he was sporting?

"All done," he declared, tossing me a pair of rings. Hihi'irokane Ring (Quality: 52) - Enchantment: Comfort (Quality: 83) - Enchantment: Strength (Quality: 60) - Enchantment: Dexterity (Quality: 60) - Enchantment: Endurance (Quality: 60) - Enchantment: Health regeneration (Quality: 83) Weight: 3 grams Huh? The quality on that comfort enchantment... And he'd added an extra at the end... I looked up and activated [Eye of Judgement], the freshly minted [Bastion of Progress] still sporting an enormous grin.

Didn't he used to be somewhere in the twenties? It required level eighty to complete a rank four class, so that was over fifty levels he'd gained! Admittedly, the last time I'd noted his level was seven years ago, so the levelling rate wasn't that outrageous, but it was still massively above average, especially for someone of rank four.

"Congratulations," I said.

"But if you think you caught your levelling speed from me, I don't suppose you could pay me back by redoing all my other enchantments, too?"