Chương 5: Just a Little Longer

💟 Valentine's Day Story: Accidental Interstellar Bride - 5/7 💟 ➽───────────────❥➽───────────────❥➽───────────────❥"I'm sorry. I am troubling you again."

"Tomorrow, I will ask Steward Peng to send someone to clean up the vomit on my lawn." Liyanne helped him sit on a chair before taking the piece of cloth draped over her shoulder and using it to wipe the Duke's face. She'd made him rinse his vomit-covered hand by the well behind her house and had to resist the urge to douse his face with water, as well.

"How much did you drink?"

"More than I thought." She shot him an annoyed glare.

"Are you sure you're drunk?" He gave her a lopsided grin.

"I'm going to call for Steward Peng to bring you a change of clothes. Sit here. If you want to vomit again, use this bucket." She placed a square bucket beside his seat, and he seemed to narrow his eyes at the bucket, as if it had wronged him. He didn't answer, but instead slumped back on the chair in the front of the house. Liyanne stepped back, pausing to make sure he wasn't going to roll forward and off the chair in his daze, before turning around and rushing across her lawn to get to the gate.

She sent one of the guards to get Steward Peng, asking for clothes for the Duke, before rushing back inside. The Duke hadn't moved from his position, but he was now clutching the wooden bucket on his lap. She cringed and slowly approached. She craned her neck to peer into the bucket, but was relieved to find it still empty.

"Is he coming?" the Duke asked, his eyes closed as he sat there.

"He'll be here soon with some clothes for you," she answered.

"I'm going to make something to help you, all right? I'll be right back." He seemed to want to nod, but instead, bit his lips tight. She sighed and wandered into her adjacent room to prepare some of her medicinal plants. In Pleiades, her mentor had developed the most popular pill to prevent hangovers and help the body purge alcohol faster. Liyanne didn't have the plants to make something so potent, but she could at least make sure he didn't have a headache or would vomit again.

As she carefully scraped a waxy substance off some leaves, Steward Peng arrived, and she told him to help the Duke change in the bedchamber and to take away his soiled clothes. When Liyanne returned, he was in a fresh set of clothes, although from the look of it, they were sleepwear. She raised a brow as she went to a small table and took a rice cracker from a plate.

"Your Grace, do you plan on sleeping here again?" she asked, a bit amused. She was going to tell him to do so, anyway. Steward Peng must've already guessed that she would.

"Can I?" The Duke seemed uncertain. His face was still flushed.

"You may, as long as you're clean and don't smell like alcohol and vomit," Liyanne said.

"I will have your sheets changed in the morning, Madam," Steward Peng told her quickly, as if to defend his master.

"May I leave him with you tonight?" Liyanne gave him a nod.

"If possible, bring him a hearty breakfast tomorrow." Steward Peng looked relieved and gave her a bow.

"Thank you, Madam!" He turned to Shenwei and bowed once more.

"Your Grace, I will take my leave." The Duke lifted a hand and gave him a weak wave to dismiss him. Steward Peng shuffled out in a hurry.

"Yanyan, are you upset with me?"

"No." Liyanne scraped the light green paste from the mortar and put it on a rice cracker like a strange, green jam.

"It's not as if you wanted to vomit in my yard."

"I meant for not visiting you. When we arrived, I'd have at least one meal with you. Recently, I haven't seen you in days." He slumped against the side of the chair and looked at her expectantly.

"Your Grace-"We're alone. I'm Shenwei." He seemed to almost pout; as if insulted that she addressed him formally.

"Shenwei." She didn't hesitate to correct herself.

"I know you are busy and with good reason. You are trying to assert your position as Duke Zhang and that will take time. If you don't, not only will you suffer, but your brother and his family will suffer. Everyone in the estate depends on you." His eyes glazed over, and he looked down.

"But you are not lonely?" She lifted her head as she finished putting the paste on to the cracker. Liyanne knit her brows together thoughtfully.

"I spent many years wandering the mountains and forest by myself in search of medicinal plants. I don't get lonely easily. Besides, the boys come to play, and Sister-in-law likes to play cards." His shoulders shrugged and he looked disappointed. She couldn't figure out what he was thinking. He muttered something under his breath, and she placed the mortar down on the table. She craned her head down.

"What did you say?" He lifted his head and his glassy eyes met hers.

"I miss you." Her brows shot up and she blinked.

"Why do you miss me?" she asked, softening her voice.

"I haven't gone anywhere."

"I miss eating with you and talking to you." The Duke slumped back against the chair once more.

"When I am in court or with peers, I have to be Duke Zhang. When I am with you, I can be Shenwei again." She took a deep breath and knelt forward.

"Is it difficult being Duke Zhang?" She lifted her hand and stroked back the hair that fell over his face. He nodded, almost childishly.

"I have to be firm and resolute. I must be serious and demanding. Even when drinking, I must be careful of my actions. One mistake could cause problems for the estate," he said. He tilted his head and rested the side of his face against her hand.

"Yanyan, it was easier at the border." Liyanne stroked his cheek with her thumb and looked at him with sympathy. She could understand that the court and his position in the capital were a far cry from his time in the army. She was sure he felt much more comfortable with his fellow soldiers than with the courtiers. But, what choice did he have?

"Then, if you are tired of being Duke Zhang, you can come here and be Shenwei."

"When?" he asked, looking hopeful.

"Any time you want," she said. She pulled her hand away and reached for the rice cracker smeared with plant paste.

"But first, eat this. When you wake up in the morning, you will feel better." He nodded and then opened his mouth. Liyanne raised a brow and he frowned.

"I fed you, now you feed me." She rolled her eyes.

"Certainly, Your Grace." She moved the cracker closer to his lips and he bit into it. He chewed on the portion he bit into and crinkled his eyes.

"Bitter."

"I know. Usually, I'd put the paste into molds and bake them into pills, so it's easy to swallow, but we don't have the time for that," she told him. She held up the rest of the cracker.

"Finish it." He frowned, but still ate the rest of it.

"I don't have any meetings tomorrow," he said as she turned to gather the mortar in order to clean it.

"What do you want to do?" Liyanne asked.

"I can help you feed your worms." Liyanne laughed.

"When I have worms again, you can help feed them. Right now, the moths are spawning. I'll be collecting the eggs to raise."

"I can buy you more eggs."

"I want the eggs of the moths I have," Liyanne told him. She supposed she needed to validate her strange behavior, as it was odd that she didn't harvest her first batch of cocoons.

"My people believe that the silkworms must be exposed to the moonlight for at least two or three generations to make good silk. I may be able to harvest it next time."

"Oh... is that so?" He furrowed his brows.

"Is that why your robe is so smooth?" Her robe was woven with precision machinery, but she nodded none-the-less.

"Yes. That is the kind of silk I am hoping to harvest." The Duke nodded.

"I see. Then, I will help you harvest it when the time comes." She smiled at him and nodded.

"For now, go to bed and get some rest." She turned and felt a small tug on the side of her robe. She turned and saw him still holding on to the hem. He lowered his eyes.

"Stay with me." He paused and then asserted.

"I'm clean now." She laughed, but her chest tightened, knowing he was sincere. Under normal circumstances, he likely wouldn't be so daring, though they had slept in the same carriage together before. Her eyes moved over to the bed against the wall. Sleeping in the carriage was a bit different from sharing a bed. Regardless, Liyanne didn't mind, but she had something to do first. She looked back at his hopeful expression.

"You go to bed first," she said.

"I need to check on the moths." That wasn't a lie. She needed to make sure they were laying eggs and then collect the moonlight bathed eggs into the baskets before the sun rose.

"Then after you check the moths...."

"I promise when you wake up, I will be there," Liyanne assured him. He nodded, appearing to trust her completely. He released her robe, and she left the house to wash the mortar. At the well, she pulled up a bucket of water and crouched down. Liyanne took a deep breath and leaned forward. How far did the Duke plan to take their temporary arrangement? He was drunk at the moment, but that made him uninhibited and honest with his feelings.

If he wanted to become closer to her, physically and emotionally, he had nothing to lose. He could enjoy the moment to the fullest. It didn't matter. In the end, when she left, he would forget her. At the most, he may have a vague memory of a young woman who was raising silkworms on his property, but that would be the extent of it. Whatever emotional investment he could develop would vanish. He'd wake up the morning she left and go about his business; nothing would be amiss. But it would be different for her.

Liyanne would remember. Long after Shenwei died in this field location, she would still be alive and vividly remember their time together. She'd heard stories from colleagues about their various trysts in field locations. Sometimes, the researcher described it as a fun dream. Others were uncomfortably quiet, if not regretful of their decision to grow attached, knowing that they would leave. General policy discouraged such relationships.

The higher ups felt it compromised the mission and could be harmful for the researcher. But that didn't stop it from happening every now and then. Neither did it stop 'tails'; those who tried to follow the researchers back. Her heart was heavy at the thought. Is that what you want? She thought to herself with uncertainty. Do you want to play pretend? She was tempted. She didn't have time for such a thing in Pleiades with her work. Liyanne ran a hand down her face and shook her head. She was overthinking this.

Whatever happens would happen and, in the end, she would leave no matter what. At the very least, Shenwei, who was incredibly good to her, would not suffer. She could make him happy, even if it was for a little while. She cleaned off the mortar and then set it aside to dry before going back to the grove of mulberry trees to check on her moths. As promised, when Shenwei woke up that morning, she was right beside him on the bed, lightly snoring on her belly.

➽───────────────❥➽───────────────❥➽───────────────❥ He knew that he couldn't focus on marriage, let alone love, at this time. The stability of his family and estate depended on him. That was the whole reason he brought Li Yan with him to begin with. With her there, he had an excuse, and it was working perfectly. For three months since he woke up with her beside him, he had used her as an excuse to the fullest.

Whenever another courtier so much as hinted at a daughter, niece, or granddaughter being invited somewhere or offering to keep his wife company, Shenwei had declined at once.

"My Yanyan is very busy with her silk project at the moment. She doesn't have time for company."

"Yanyan is very sensitive to the sunlight and doesn't like to go out for daytime affairs."

"Yanyan nearly drowned at a garden party once, now she refuses to go anywhere without me." Sometimes, he used her as an excuse to go home. If he felt that joining his peers for drinks didn't give him the benefits or leverage he wanted, he'd claim that his wife was expecting him. He knew that there were courtiers who laughed at him behind his back for being so attached, but what did they matter? He was a Duke, related to the Imperial Family, and with significant wealth and influence.

His struggles since he returned weren't for naught and he'd solidified his position and that of his family. Even Shenli was having an easier time these days.

"Elder Brother, Marquis Sung wishes to speak about the concerns at the border. He feels that you may give good insight regarding the budgets and would like your opinion before he makes a proposal," Shenli said as he read the stack of notices when Shenwei arrived at his office.

"When?" Shenwei said as he moved over the papers on his desk. He read them quickly, splitting them into piles based on priority and importance.

"Three days from now at his estate. General Tung will also be present," Shenli said.

"It will be dinner."

"Accept it," Shenwei said.

"Prepare a small gift, as well."

"Yes, Elder Brother," Shenli nodded. He brushed some notes on the notice.

"Would you like to bring Elder Sister-in-law?" Shenwei didn't hesitate to shake his head.

"No. You know she doesn't like leaving the estate." Shenli let out a deep breath and nodded.

"You can bring Elder Sister-in-law at times. It will be good for others to see her and note your good relationship." Shenwei paused and slowly lifted his gaze. His brother immediately shrank back and avoided eye contact.

"You make a good point." Shenli perked up, surprised.

"I do?" Shenwei tapped his hand on his desk and stood up.

"I'll go ask her." His brother drew his head back and nodded dumbly as Shenwei walked around him to get to the door. He paused and turned back.

"The twin's birthday is coming up. Work with Steward Peng on the dinner celebration. Think of it as practice for the next time we need to throw a banquet. You'll improve." Shenli nodded with a bright smile.

"Yes, Elder Brother!" Shenwei walked out of the office and headed towards Li Yan's courtyard. As he approached, he saw the moon gates open, and a wooden ox cart parked outside. The ox was lazily chewing as it stood in front of the two guards posted at Li Yan's door. He raised a brow and circled the cart to enter.

"Yanyan." Shenwei walked through the open doors of the moon gate to Li Yan's courtyard and saw her standing on the walkway, watching three men adjust a large wooden object in her yard. This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

"Madam, what about here?" Jiang, one of his senior valets, looked towards Li Yan as two other men stepped away from a loom. Li Yan narrowed her eyes and squinted.

"It's too close to the awning," she said.

"Move it out further."

"But Madam, if we move it out further, you will be seated outside," Jiang told her, worried. Li Yan nodded.

"'I'm aware, Jiang. It'll be fine.

"Yanyan, shouldn't you bring it inside?" Shenwei furrowed his brows as he came up behind her. She looked over her shoulder and smiled.

"My people believe that the silk must be woven by moonlight," Li Yan told him. She looked back at the loom as Jiang and the other two servants adjusted its position.

"In that position, the silk will be exposed to moonlight while I weave." It was a strange custom, but he wouldn't stop her. The loom he bought her was not as large or elaborate as the ones in the silk houses, but it was still quite large and he was told it was suitable for the home. Besides, as Li Yan told him, she only needed one plain robe. The most basic of looms would suffice. Shenwei sighed and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"If you insist." He waited until the loom was placed in a satisfactory position before dismissing the servants and Jiang.

"So, what brings you to my courtyard this time?" Li Yan said as she tilted her head back and grinned.

"Are you drunk? Poisoned? Have a rash?" He gave her a deadpan look.

"I can't come visit when I'm perfectly healthy?"

"Well... your record says otherwise...." He raised a brow and brought his head down to press his forehead against hers playfully.

"It seems I should visit more often." She narrowed her eyes.

"You want something, don't you?"

"If I say I want my wife, would you agree?" Her eyes narrowed more so.

"That depends on what you want your wife for." He looked up and slowly nodded.

"That's fair." He pulled his head back and put an arm around her shoulder as he led her back to the house.

"I wanted to know if you'd be willing to attend a dinner with me at the estate of Marquis Sung. He wanted to discuss some concerns with the military over dinner."

"Is it all right for me to be present when you're discussing that?" Li Yan asked, uncertain.

"Shouldn't that be classified?"

"It will likely be a meal and then we'll be separated. You would have to spend time with his consorts or other women." He took a seat on a chair on the porch of her house and motioned for her to sit on the one next to him.

"I would like to bring you out of the estate." She grinned and leaned forward.

"To show me off?" He smiled back and leaned towards her to touch his forehead against hers.

"And to show them I love my wife."

"All right. I will go and be on my best behavior." Her eyes sparkled when she spoke to him. His face brightened and, without warning, she brushed her lips against his. Shenwei's eyes widened, and she pulled away, laughing. He looked at her. He'd shared the same bed with her many times, but at most, he'd kissed the top of her head or gathered her snoring body against his.

"I'm not... I'm not poisoned...." It was only after he said it that he realized how ridiculous it sounded.

"I know," Li Yan said, appearing to hold back a smile. She raised a brow.

"Should I only kiss you when you're poisoned?"

"No, it should be all the time. Any chance you have." Li Yan closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Are you really a duke, Duke Zhang?" she asked as she gave him a side-eyed glance. He lifted his hand and gently grasped her chin, drawing her face towards his.

"When I am here, with you," he said before he kissed her back.

"No." ➽───────────────❥➽───────────────❥➽───────────────❥"What did you tell them that made them so upset?" Shenwei sat across from her as the carriage moved down the street. Liyanne had a slight smile on her face since they left Marquis Sung's estate. She and Shenwei had arrived for dinner and Liyanne knew she was expected at the meal. Her brother-in-law had made sure to notify their hosts that she would be attending, as well as to ensure that she would have female conversation partners.

Shenli, Sun Mei, and Steward Peng coached her on what to say, as well as reassured her that in a smaller, more intimate setting, nothing like what happened at Princess An Ting's garden party would repeat itself. At least, that was what they hoped. Dinner itself went well. She sat quietly beside Shenwei the entire time, eating just enough to appear 'normal' and to make sure that Shenwei's food wasn't drugged. Most of the meal, she drank tea.

The other ladies present were Marquis Sung's wife, Marchioness Sung, his youngest daughter, General Tung's favored concubine, and two of his daughters. All three young maidens were dressed in eye-catching finery and with their clothes alone, Liyanne knew she was somehow underdressed. The moment they stepped into the hall, Liyanne could feel their predatory gazes settling on Shenwei and she had moved closer to him, tightening her hold on his arm while still carrying a look of casual disinterest.

Shenwei noticed at once and turned to smile at her and squeeze her arm before affectionately introducing her to the others present. The predatory gazes on Shenwei turned to her with envy and irritation. Her first thought had been that the evening was going to be better than the garden party, but not that much better. Liyanne went through the motions: polite greetings, complimenting the other ladies on their clothes or accessories or how young they looked, and then praising the meal.

Afterwards, Liyanne followed the Marchioness to another room to listen to her daughter play the zither. The General's daughters then recited poetry; none of which Liyanne was familiar with. She could only keep a neutral, yet pleasant smile on her face as she gave them small nods to acknowledge their efforts. She should've known that attention would eventually fall on her and what she could offer to entertain them.

"Do you know how to play an instrument?" the Marchioness had asked her while wearing a look that told her she wouldn't believe Liyanne if she confirmed she could. Liyanne could play a harp. Not well, but good-enough. The problem was the harp she played did not exist in the field location.

"No, Marchioness, I do not."

"What about any epic stories or poems?" one of the General's daughters had asked, as if wanting to challenge her. Liyanne had given a small shake of her head.

"I do not memorize those."

"It must be because you were born to such humble circumstances." The General's concubine's look of pity hadn't reached her mocking eyes. In Pleiades, her family was upper-middle class. Generations of Zhuma men and women were in research fields; she had many scientists, researchers, and doctors in her family. Her younger brother was the strange one who was a movie director and producer. His last film won so many awards, that 'Tavin Zhuma' was a household name across their entire system.

Of course, in the field location, she had literally no background.

"Yes, very humble." Liyanne had smiled and agreed without hesitation. Sun Mei had told her not to be too defensive or challenging. These women likely wanted to evaluate her and then judge. They wanted to see her uncomfortable.

"I've heard many rumors, but I have yet to hear the whole story from an actual source," the Marchioness had said. Her sharp eyes looked at Liyanne.

"How did you meet Duke Zhang?" Oh! Time for our elaborate lie! Liyanne looked away and forced a blush. She pretended to be shy about it.

"It started at the border....." She went through her exaggerated, dramatic meeting, which included some new additions including how he swept her up before she fell off a cliff and sucked out poison from her leg when a snake bit her. Telling them the story was much more fun than she thought it would be and they were captivated. Not necessarily in a good way, considering her and Shenwei's imaginary love story seemed to make their faces twist with disgust and annoyance, but at least she had their attention.

"... but he took my hand and didn't want to let go." Liyanne had shrugged her shoulders with a content smile on her face.

"He told me he didn't want to marry anyone else and... now we're here together." She reached for her teacup and took a sip.

"I... I see...." the Marchioness had said as her pale hands gripped her cup.

"That's quite a story."

"It's good that the Duke didn't mind you were being sold by traffickers." One of the General's daughters had lifted her hand to her chest, as if scandalized. Liyanne had nodded once more.

"Yes, he didn't mind at all. He only wanted me. I'm incredibly lucky." She smiled. Whenever they tried to find a way to insult her and insinuate that the Duke was making a mistake by marrying so far beneath his status, she'd agree and smile, then repeat: "And yet, he only wants me." By the time a servant came to let them know that Shenwei's meeting was over, the women were fuming. Liyanne thanked them for their time before following the servant outside, to where Shenwei was waiting for her.

"I kept reiterating that you only want to marry me, and it upset them," she told him. He looked at her suspiciously.

"They didn't speak badly of you, did they?"

"Not in direct words," Liyanne said.

"Quite smart. They can always say that I misunderstood or was overreacting if I accused them of disparaging me." Shenwei frowned. He moved aside on the bench and motioned for her to come sit closer to him. Liyanne stood up and carefully made her way to the space next to him as the carriage moved. She sat beside him and snuggled closer as he put his arm around her. His head rested against the top of her head after he kissed her.

"I do want only you." Liyanne smiled softly and felt her heart ache. She closed her eyes and held his hand tightly. She wasn't sure if it was because she had grown so accustomed to his company or if it was because his company both strangely relaxed and excited her, but she was starting to understand why field researchers would grow silent when asked about any relationships they had during their five-year stints.

How do you explain the feeling Shenwei gave her, holding her in his arms and chatting with her about ridiculous topics, once it is gone and by your choice? Is that love? Would you call it that if you willingly left? And what about 'tails' - those who somehow tried to follow when a researcher left. Liyanne had heard of them, though they were so rare, it was almost a legend.

'Tails' who came from field locations rarely survived the journey. They would die within a few days or worse; arrive dead. The thought that Shenwei would die if he came after her was so painful, her grip on his robes tightened. He had easily become her friend; it took a few days in a carriage for her to consider him as such. And now, they spend their nights together, blissfully wrapped in each other's arms. She didn't want to think about him following her. Liyanne wanted him safe and happy.

She wanted him to be happy with her and then forget so he wouldn't have to live with the memories and the loss. Safe, happy, and hers was the memory she wanted of him when she left. She leaned against him and listened to the steady beating of his heart as the carriage moved along. She knew she couldn't stay, but she could enjoy this while it lasted. She tilted her head up and kissed his jaw. He looked down, caught by surprise, and smiled.

"Are you going to stay with me tonight?" she asked, quietly. His smile widened and she felt him chuckle against her.

"Don't I always?" She looked away and took a deep breath. She lifted her hand and, daringly, placed it on his thigh and rubbed his leg.

"To do more than sleep." She turned back to look at him and watched his pale face slowly begin to turn red. He swallowed hard. His voice was tight.

"You... want that?" Liyanne gave him a gentle smile and nodded.

"I am your wife. Even for a short while. I would like to experience it all with you." His eyes never left hers, but she could feel his heart quickening. He drew his head back and let out a low breath. Liyanne's smile began to falter. Perhaps, he did not-"I'm so excited, I almost forgot to breathe." He let out a soft chuckle and pressed his forehead against hers once more. He closed his eyes and kissed her lips, holding her for a moment longer before finally parting.

He opened his eyes and met hers with an intent, hopeful gaze.

"I... look forward to tonight," he whispered. He kissed her once more and she could feel him smiling against her.

"And every night that follows." Liyanne cracked a smile and buried her face against his shoulder. At the very least, Shenwei wouldn't have to suffer with the memory of her when she left. ➽───────────────❥➽───────────────❥➽───────────────❥"Will it snow in the winter?" Li Yan put her hands on the windowsill and craned her neck up at the sky. She squinted and frowned.

"Does it snow much here?" Shenwei looked up from the bed and put down the book he was reading.

"It does, but it's light. We'll get a dusting of snow at night, but it'll melt away before midday the next day." He cocked his head and gave her a curious look.

"Do you want to move your loom?" She shook her head.

"No, it's in the right spot. I was just wondering. If it snows, the clouds may block the moonlight." The corners of his lips rose.

"Is the moonlight that important?" She looked over her shoulder and nodded.

"I told you. My people believe-""That moonlight makes the silk unique, I know." Even now, her latest batch of silkworm cocoons were laid out across the lawn, basking in the moonlight. She'd diligently taken them out every evening and would bring them back into the storage before dawn the last few nights. She felt that this batch could be harvested and was taking extra particular care of them. Shenwei placed his book to the side and slid his legs over the side of the bed.

He put on his slippers and stood up, tightening the robe around him as he walked across the room and stood behind her.

"Yanyan..." He wrapped his arms around her waist and gently pulled her back against him. He rested his head against the top of hers.

"Don't you get cold outside?"

"I am used to it," she said. Li Yan leaned back against him and placed her hands over his.

"I don't get cold easily." He lowered his head and whispered into her ear.

"Well, I do. I think you should close the window and come to bed." She giggled and he felt her warm body move against his.

"If Your Grace, insists." She turned her head and kissed his chin before stepping forward, out of his embrace, and reaching for the window shutters. He patiently waited behind her and held his arms out when she turned around, expecting her to walk into them. Li Yan didn't disappoint. Her slender arms moved beneath his and encircled him as she pressed herself against him. His arms tightened around her, and he kissed the top of her head. Wordlessly, he brought her to her bed and kissed her as they sat on the edge.

"I still have to bring in the cocoons before dawn," she said as she laid back. He let out a low chuckle and moved over her.

"You think too highly of me if you think we won't be done by then." He lowered his head and kissed her neck. He didn't need to see her face to know that she was rolling her eyes.

"Do you want me to help you?"

"No, you need your sleep." Her arms rose and hooked around his neck.

"You are in my courtyard to rest."

"I'm in your courtyard to see you." He corrected her and closed his eyes as he pressed his head against the crook of her neck.

"I don't mind all the work as long as I get to come back to you, Yanyan." He felt her take a deep breath. Her arms held him firm, and he felt her turn her head and press her lips against his.

"Shenwei, you know I have to leave one day." He swallowed hard, but didn't let go.

"Do you not like it here?" Her fingers ran through his hair in slow strokes.

"I do." Her breathy whisper made him pull his head back to look at her. His eyes crinkled up as he searched her eyes.

"Then stay." She drew her lips inward and seemed to bite them. She lowered her eyes and pulled him back against her.

"Let's not talk about this now. Let me enjoy my time with you." He nodded against her and moved his hands over the ties of her robes. Deft fingers used to wield a sword and moving a pen undid the knot quickly before raising to slip beneath the soft folds of silk and sliding them off her pale shoulders. Every movement he made was gentle, but deliberate; measuring her reaction to take note of what she liked best.

A small part of him couldn't help but believe that if he made her happy enough, she would be willing to stay with him. Then, they could continue this harmonious life that made all his hardships worth it. It was a thought that lingered with him when he was in court: finish and then go home to accompany Yanyan; work hard so that Yanyan could live comfortably; be formidable so that Yanyan could live in peace. If she was comfortable and happy, then she would stay.

The chilly air seeped through a gap between the sheets and the quilt. Shenwei shuddered as consciousness overcame sleep. He opened his eyes and stared at the painted wood panel above the bed. The bed cushion sank to one side, and he turned his head. Two of the bedroom's lanterns were still lit and he could see her slipping out and reaching for her discarded robes. For a moment, he couldn't breathe. His chest tightened and a wave of fear swept through him at the sight of her back. She was leaving him.

"Yanyan?" His voice was hoarse, and she looked over her shoulder.

"It's still early, Shenwei." She leaned over and raised an arm to stroke his hair back.

"Go back to sleep." The dread in the pit of his stomach didn't disappear.

"Where are you going?"

"To bring the cocoons back inside." He pushed himself into a seated position and reached for his robe that had been tossed against the foot of the bed.

"I will come with you."

"It's too cold." Her hands pressed against his shoulders and eased him back.

"You're not used to it. I am. It won't take me long."

"I can help you." He insisted, if only to remain closer to her.

"I'll be back soon." She smiled intently and stroked his disheveled hair back.

"It won't take me long. I harvest them in the morning. For now, I just need to bring them inside." His chest was still tight, but he nodded.

"Don't stay out too long. It's cold."

"I won't."

"Wear more layers."

"I will."

"And socks."

"Shenwei, go to sleep." She chuckled and leaned down, kissing his forehead before standing and tying her robes closed. He could only lay there and watch her leave in the dim light. He heard her walk out into the antechamber and then open the door to go outside part way. It creaked closed, likely so any heat in the house would remain. Shenwei couldn't sit still. Before he knew it, he had tossed their two layers of quilts aside and was putting on his robe.

He shoved his bare feet into his slippers and walked to the window. As quietly as he could, he opened the panel and was greeted with a shock of cold air. He saw Li Yan carefully stacking the bamboo grids on top of each other. In spaces between the bamboo, small, white cocoons were spun in place. Li Yan had allowed for two generations of silkworms to hatch as moths and reproduce before this batch and there were likely thousands of cocoons awaiting her. How many cocoons were needed to make a robe?

His stomach twisted. If she had enough, how long would it take her to weave it? He wanted to believe that she loved him and would stay with him despite their agreement, but no matter how much time they spent together, no matter how long and wonderful their conversations were, she showed no signs of straying from her goal. Even now, she was out in the cold for the purpose of making a robe.

Li Yan would stack five grids on top of each other before she grabbed the sides and easily lifted them up, carrying them to the storage next to the house. She repeated this five or so more times before she closed the storage and began to walk back. As she turned around, their eyes met. Shenwei gasped and ducked back behind the window panel on instinct, despite knowing he had already seen her.

"Shenwei, close the window," she said as she passed.

"The room is warmer than out here. You will let the heat out." He found himself nodding before closing the window. He paced the room, waiting for her to return and unsure why he was so anxious. She wasn't leaving him that night. And it would take some time to harvest the silk and weave, not to mention sew the silk together to make a robe. He still had time.

"Shenwei, what are you doing?" Her exasperated voice came from the doorway as she slipped through and closed it behind her.

"You have to go to court tomorrow. Why are you awake?" He stood in the middle of the room.

"I'm waiting for you." It was a simple answer and she sighed as she walked forward and wrapped her arms around him.

"You can wait for me in bed." She kissed him lightly and pulled him back to the bed. Once he was seated, she pulled off his slippers and lifted one of the quilts around him.

"Come. Let's sleep." She removed her outer robes and socks before climbing into the bed and pulling down the drapes that hung over it. The small space grew darker and as she buried herself beneath the quilts, Shenwei turned on his side to face her.

"Do you have enough cocoons to make a robe?" She rolled over to face him.

"I think so. I'll find out when I start spinning thread. I kept some cocoons in the storage warm in case I don't have enough and needed to raise more." He reached forward and stroked her soft cheek.

"I can get you more."

"Mine are special," Li Yan smiled as she took his hand and kissed his palm.

"Mine are bathed in moonlight. If I start with new ones, I'll need to go through another two generations before they are suitable."

"Is that so bad?" Shenwei asked.

"It's just a little longer." The smile on her face faltered and an unreadable expression crossed her eyes.

"I can't stay for too long, Shenwei."

"Why not? You said you like it here." His eyes crinkled up and his heart sank.

"Is it because of what happened at the Princess' garden party? Or what the Marquis' wife said?"

"No," Li Yan told him.

"It has nothing to do with that."

"Then what is it?" Li Yan took a deep breath.

"Shenwei, we had an agreement."

"We can make a new one." His answer was immediate. He would be happy to change their agreement. If she had additional demands, he'd accept them. She shut her eyes tightly.

"Shenwei, please do not make this difficult for me. I'm here now. Can we not enjoy our time together?" He clenched his jaw as his body tensed. He wanted to continue asking questions and find out what was causing her to refuse to stay, but he didn't want to argue with her. Shenwei also wanted to enjoy their time together. His arms reached forward and wrapped around her, bringing her closer to him. He opened his mouth, but any more pleas he had died in his throat.

"Shenwei." He heard her soft, muffled voice against him.

"Don't concern yourself with whether or not I stay. I just want you to be happy with me." He shut his eyes tight.

"I am happy with you." Her shoulder shook and an even voice whispered back.

"I am, too." ➽───────────────❥➽───────────────❥➽───────────────❥