When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

What is my 1000-year-old monster self to do when I’ve failed my immortal ascension? Time travel — accidentally — and wind up back in my 9-year-old body, needing to re-cultivate, of course. But after that? Get REVENGE! Muahahahaha! But the idiot who killed me — also accidentally — was the main character of the dumb harem Xianxia I transmigrated into. But wait. Wasn’t he only 7 or 8 at this point in time? Well, since I can’t harm a child or the main character without suffering in some way, then I’ll just have to raise him better, faster, stronger, and loyal! Muahahahaha! This is a Xianxia comedy and satire by the author of Tanking Hits and Tome of Stealth. But it is also a series of interconnected and chronological short stories (featuring the same main characters). For example, it’s similar to the structure of Fred the Vampire Accountant series by the wonderful Drew Hayes. Updates Every Friday (2:15PM PST). (Currently on Hiatus until October 23rd, 2026) Cover art created with MidJourney and edited by the author. Typography by the author. Other art within the story ranges from original author created art, commissioned art, edited stock photos and edited AI art. If you're curious about a specific image, just ask the author and they'll let you know. If you're curious about why there is only one chapter out a week, that is berceuse the author spends 10 hours over three or four days editing each chapter, ensuring the quality and humor. These hours are mentally exhausting. Comedy is hard. Over the years the author has realized that some people do not understand what satire is. There is no shame in that since it’s more complex than parody. Put over-simply, it’s a genre meant to criticize and poke fun at things but isn’t always funny. Sometimes it even goes over people’s heads. You can think of it as Sarcasm the Genre.